Shattered Vows (Midnight Manor Book 2)

Chapter 8

Eight

Icrumple into the chair, embarrassed by my admission, scared by what I said, how I said it, and the repercussions of my outburst. But when Kol asked why I’d pretended to love him, I couldn’t allow him to think that…I just can’t explain why.

His face was etched in pain. So much pain after all these years, and I don’t understand why. It doesn’t make sense for the man I knew him to be, the man he showed me he was with his actions this week, to feel that deeply about what I did after all this time.

“Between the two of us, you’re the liar,” Kol says with a sneer.

I shake my head, afraid to admit what I found out, why I left, for fear of how he’ll react.

“All right then. Tell me. Why am I the liar?” He leans back in his chair and crosses his arms. His shirt sleeves bunch in his biceps. He’ll never wrap me in the embrace of his strong arms again, like he once did. “I’m waiting.”

I have no choice but to tell him something. “You told me you were a special ops soldier.”

His amber eyes narrow. “I was at the time.”

“You let me believe that’s all you were. You didn’t tell me you were the son of a billionaire. A billionaire yourself.”

A sadistic laugh rings through the room, and I suppress a shiver. “Most women would be happy to marry a billionaire. Especially a dumb one who didn’t demand a prenup and was more likely than not to be killed in action.”

My stomach twists at the thought of him in danger on some mission. Which is ridiculous since he’s holding me captive. “That’s not the point. You lied to me. You lied about who you were. How could I ever trust you?”

His head tilts as he studies me. “So you pulled a runaway bride because I have more money than God—that’s your excuse?”

I press my lips together and nod.

Kol lays his palms flat on the table, leaning in. “If you’re going to tell half-truths, you have to do a helluva better job.”

I swallow, unable to tear my eyes away from his gaze. “It’s the truth.”

“It may be part of the truth. So let’s start there. How did you find out who I was?”

Panic flares through my veins. I didn’t think this far ahead. What if he seeks revenge on not just me? My head shakes back and forth of its own volition. “It doesn’t matter.”

He assesses me for a moment. “It matters to you, which means the rat is your mother. Unless you lied to me about how sheltered she kept you.”

My eyes widen.

“That’s right, sweetheart. You’re still a fucking open book to me.” He straightens and crosses his arms again, staring at me.

The venomous sound of the word sweetheart from his lips makes my stomach sour. He used to say that word with so much love and reverence.

“What else did your mother tell you?”

I don’t know what to do. But if I don’t tell him, I’m sure he’s going to leave me in this tower for however long until I admit the truth. Maybe the best thing is to tell him and see what happens. Maybe he’ll let me go home once he knows why I left that day.

Or maybe he’ll kill you.

I look into his eyes for any remnants of the man from four years ago and see none.

“What else, Rapsody?”

Tightness wraps around my chest, and I close my eyes and exhale a few deep breaths, calming my anxiety. When I open my eyes, I meet his gaze. “She told me that you killed your father.”

Kol blinks and blinks again. Surprise lines his features, but it disappears instantly. “What exactly did she say?”

“First, you have to promise me that you won’t hurt her. You have to give me your word.” I’m not even sure I can trust his word, but I figure I should ask for it. Maybe it will at least make him think twice before he does anything.

He nods.

That’s as good as I’ll get, I suppose.

“First she told me who you really were.” I’ve listened to him berate me for causing him pain, but he acts as though what he did to me—his lies—had no effect. Time for him to realize that’s not true. “I’d never felt so stupid in my life. Here I’d agreed to marry you after only weeks, so sure of my decision, of us, and then I found out I didn’t know who you really are. That you’d lied to me, and I ate your story up, so desperate for a life, for love, that I wasn’t even willing to question you.”

Kol opens his mouth to say something, but I don’t want to hear his stupid excuses anymore, so I raise my hand and continue.

“She said it was proof of what she was always telling me. That the world is filled with lies and deception, evil people who only want to harm others. And you know what? I didn’t listen to her. I told her that I did know who you were and that there must be an explanation for what she was saying. That I would talk to you and find out, and that if she just met you, she’d see how wonderful you were.” I shake my head at my own na?veté. I was so unwilling to think the worst of Kol that I was willing to start our marriage with a lie.

I can’t sit here anymore, so I stand, wrapping my arms around myself, and pace the room under Kol’s watchful eye.

“When she couldn’t convince me to leave you, she pulled out old news articles about your father’s death. They all said that you or one of your brothers was believed to be the one who killed him, but that either authorities couldn’t prove it, or they had been bought off. Article after article from reputable news agencies all said the same thing. And when I googled the Voss family and Kol Voss, there was link after link to stories about you or your family that painted a picture of a person so different. I realized then that she was right about all of it. I was just a na?ve little girl willing to believe anything from the first man who paid me the smallest amount of attention.”

I walk over to the dresser, pick up one of the large elastic bands bought along with my new wardrobe and braid my hair.

“We’d only known each other a couple of weeks, but what I felt for you was real. I thought I’d fallen in love with a man who didn’t exist. My entire life, my mother sheltered me and told me how dangerous the world was. How it was full of liars and thieves and people who only want to hurt me and take advantage of me. After everything she told me about you, for the first time in a long time, I felt like she was right.” I finish the braid and tie off the bottom.

Kol’s footsteps sound behind me, and I turn around. “Why didn’t you just ask me about it?”

He doesn’t deny the accusation, so I was right to leave him.

“Because she explained to me that a man like you, so used to getting whatever you desire, so dangerous and violent, wouldn’t accept being left. My mom thought it was better for us to disappear—change our names and start our lives elsewhere. She knew you’d be angry and come looking for me. Guess she was right about that too.”

His mouth forms a thin line, and he steps forward. “I came looking for you because I wanted an explanation.”

“And now you have it.”

“Jesus.” Kol links his hands and rests them on his shaved head, blowing out a long breath. “You should have just spoken to me about it.” His voice is pained as if he’s upset.

“I couldn’t trust you anymore.” Tears build in my eyes, but I blink them back. I promised myself a long time ago that I wouldn’t cry over him because he wasn’t real and what we had wasn’t real anyway. “Why didn’t you just tell me who you were when we met, if you didn’t have anything to hide?”

His hands drop. “My entire life, I’ve been judged by my last name. But you didn’t see any of that when we met. You only saw the man who stood in front of you. And I liked it that way. I didn’t want to ruin what we had.” I open my mouth to protest, but he scowls. “Don’t even try to feed me some bullshit line about how it wouldn’t have mattered to you. It did in the end. As soon as you found out who I was in the world, you ran.”

He’s right. Although it was more than just that. I hesitate for a moment and ask the question that has haunted me since that day. “Are you saying you didn’t murder your father?” I hold my breath, waiting for his answer.

His entire face goes blank, void of all emotion. Somehow, that’s more unsettling than if he’d exploded in anger. “My father isn’t up for discussion.”

There’s a bottomless well of pain in his eyes. Why? I wonder who his father was to him.

I reach out to touch him. To comfort him maybe.

But he steps back. “Did you actually think I posed a threat to you?”

My heart speeds up. “I don’t know. I was so confused. My mom sprang the information on me, and she had proof that you’d lied. Everything she’d told me my entire life rang true, and I felt heartbroken and confused.” My face crumples as I bare my truth to him. I’m tired of hiding who I am and what I feel, trying to be someone I’m not anymore. “I have questioned every day for the past four years whether I made the right decision.”

I sink to my haunches with my hands over my face. I can’t bear to look at him. At the man I once loved but threw away because I let fear and guilt worm their way inside me. Whether that decision was the right one, I’ll never find out.

Kol is quiet for a long time, and eventually I stand, not looking at him. I turn and flop down on the bed in the same position I lie in all the time.

“How did your mom find out we were getting married?” He stands across the room, his voice far away.

“I don’t know. She ambushed me when I returned home from the grocery store. Usually she went, but she was too frail after returning from the hospital a couple days before, so I went.”

Again, I’m met with silence. No doubt Kol is scrutinizing my answers and examining them for any hint of a lie.

I have no idea if he believes me or not, because his footsteps cross the floor, then the door opens and closes, the key turning in the lock.

Why did I expect anything different?