Chapter 9
Nine
I’m unsure what awakens me that night, but I get the distinct impression of being watched. I stiffen, listening, but I don’t hear anything.
“Kol?”
No answer.
I swallow hard and roll to my other side. A warm glow shines from under the door. My forehead creases, and I sit up in bed to get a better look. Some nights, Kol has left the sconces in the curved stairwell on, and I can see them flickering underneath the door, but this is different. This glow is warmer and brighter.
Rolling back to my other side, I turn on the lamp. It casts most of the room in shadows but lets me see well enough that I can safely walk to the door. I step off the plush rug that surrounds the bed, and my bare feet tread against the cool stone floor.
Pressing my ear against the door, I listen, but there’s no sound. I kneel to the floor to peek through the gap, but it’s only the same golden light, nothing else. I stand and my hand instinctively goes to the doorknob, knowing it’s a useless endeavor. But I freeze when it turns in my palm.
Did Kol forget to lock the door after he dropped off my dinner?
No. I heard him put the key in and lock it. It’s a sound I always listen for as if I’m still holding on to hope that I won’t die up here.
I turn the knob and heft open the heavy door, peeking down the staircase. The source of the light must be farther down the staircase. Its glow illuminates the stairs in front of me.
After saying a small prayer that the stairwell is empty, I tiptoe down as quietly and quickly as I’m able, still not hearing anything and not coming upon the source of the light. It’s almost as though it’s moving ahead of me and wants me to follow.
But I don’t have time for that. I need to find my way out of this place and away from Kol.
For a moment, I wonder where I’ll go, which is something I should worry about once I’m free.
I’ll go back to my mom and Alistair, of course. But I realize that I don’t want to go back to the same life I had. I want a whole new one. Kol kidnapping me has been a wake-up call.
No matter, the first step is getting away from here. I can figure out the rest later.
When I reach the bottom of the stairway and try to open the door, I almost expect it to be locked, but it opens easily as well. A rush of air leaves my lungs in relief when I step over the threshold. The massive hallway glows to my right. Farther down the hall, a warm ball of light floats in the air, almost like a floating lantern.
What is that thing?
It moves slowly down the hallway. I’m rooted to the spot like an animal trying to prevent detection.
I must be dreaming. There’s no earthly explanation for what my eyes are taking in.
The light stops as though it’s beckoning me to follow before starting down the hall again. I look at the doorway I just came from, then back at the glowing orb.
Could it be leading me out of here? That thought is fleeting when I’m at the far end of the hallway, and there’s no door to the outside. Mustering all my courage, I step in the direction of the light.
I silently follow it down the hall, past the transition into another part of the house through the stained-glass hallway. My gaze snags on the window depicting a lion resembling the one tattooed down Kol’s arm. After more twists and turns, leaving me thoroughly turned around, we finally reach a door that leads outside.
The light passes right through the door, and I blink, again trying to wrap my head around what is happening. But I need to move forward. There’s plenty of time to puzzle over what this means once I reach safety. I burst through the door, welcoming the crisp night air. Summer isn’t fully here yet, but in days or weeks, the blanket of ever-present humidity will cover this place.
The light continues to float over the grass, and since it freed me from the house, I’m trusting that it’s leading me to safety.
I trail it for a time unknown. Ten minutes, twenty, a half hour? By the time I come to the huge pond I could barely see from my tower, goose pebbles cover my skin, and my feet are cold from walking over the cool ground. It’s too dark to make much out, but a light glimmers on a post on the far side. But on the bank closest to me, a lone figure sits on the grass.
My entire body stiffens. I’d recognize that silhouette anywhere—Kol. Panic fires in my veins, and I turn to find the light, but it has vanished without a trace, as if it never existed.
No matter. I need to go in whatever direction Kol is not, so I backtrack a few tentative steps from the pond. After a few more breaths, I press my lips together, keeping my eyes on Kol. He hasn’t noticed me yet, so I still have time to sneak off the property.
But the invisible string that still tethers us together and I can’t seem to cut plants my feet in the cool grass.
Why is he out here in the middle of the night? What keeps him up so he can’t sleep? When we first met, he told me that he had trouble sleeping. When I asked him why, his only explanation was “the past.”
I stand, contemplating my fate.
Is what I’m running toward any better than what I’m running from? Probably in a lot of ways. It’s certainly better than being trapped in one room. But I still wasn’t free to live my life how I wished, and I was going from living under my mother’s rule to being the wife of a man who would run the household and still make all of my decisions.
What would my life look like if I were the one making the decisions? What can I be? Who would I become if I were given the freedom to blossom?
It’s those thoughts, along with the memory of the mystery man in that hospital, a man I’ve seen only a handful of times since he brought me here, that are the reason why I walk across the damp grass, not toward the gates of freedom, but toward Kol.
This could be a mistake, a very big mistake.
I sit beside him. He startles, suggesting he was so deep in thought, I could have escaped without him knowing. Then his eyes widen when he sees it’s me. “How the fuck did you get out of that room?”
“The door was unlocked when I woke up.” It’s a simple enough explanation. There’s no way I’m bringing up the light thing when I can’t explain it myself.
His face twists, looking just as confused as mine, before his gaze turns accusatory. “Why didn’t you hightail it out of here?”
“Had full intentions of doing just that until I saw you.”
He doesn’t say anything, and we stare into one another’s eyes for an uncomfortable length of time. But he’s not dragging me back to the tower, so I count it as a win.
Finally, I break the silence. “What are you doing out here?”
He tears his eyes from me and back toward the pond. “Figuring out what to do with you.”
“Oh.”
We’re both quiet again, and for the first time since my arrival, it’s not uncomfortable this time. I contemplate what I should say and, in the end, opt for honesty. “I don’t want to be locked up anymore, but I don’t want to go back to my life either.”
I feel a semblance of relief from admitting that fact out loud, but at the same time, I panic.
“What about your fiancé?” There’s a note of anger in his voice, but he manages to keep it in check.
I bring up my knees and wrap my arms around them, pulling my legs into my chest to try to conserve some of my body heat. “I care for Alistair, but I never loved him like one should when they’re going to marry. He just represented a little more freedom. But it still wouldn’t be enough to really make me happy, and that’s not fair to him.”
I wait to see how Kol takes my admission, given that he believes I never loved him. Will he think I’m just a conniving man-eater to all men?
But he doesn’t get angry or take any shots at me for skipping town when we were supposed to be married. To my shock, he says, “You can stay here if you want.” He turns away from the pond and meets my gaze. “Not locked in the tower. You can stay in one of the other rooms in my wing until you figure out what you want to do.”
I squash the hope that wants to sprout with the possibility of this being real for fear that he’ll tear it all away just to be cruel. “Really?”
He nods. “I shouldn’t have done what I did.”
My arms drop from around my legs, and my shoulders sag. “I shouldn’t have left you without an explanation. I’m sorry.”
His eyes flicker with an emotion I can’t decipher, then he stands. I wait for him to leave, to give me his back once more, but he holds out his hand. I slide my palm into his big hand and shiver once I’m on my feet.
Kol’s eyebrows furrow. “Here.”
Before I can decline, he pulls his long-sleeve Henley over his head, revealing his bare chest. My eyes widen. I’ve never seen a man’s naked chest in person, and Kol’s is perfection. I want to run my palms over the planes of his hard muscles. Looking at him shirtless with the moon casting down on him makes him look virile and strong and lethal.
His lion tattoo is fully visible. I saw most of it when he wore a T-shirt and pulled it up to show me once, but I’ve never seen it all. The way the lion’s mouth is open in a roar over his shoulder and the body twists around his arm down to his elbow.
I avert my gaze as he holds out his shirt to me. “Put this on.”
“You don’t have to do that.” My limbs shake with a shiver.
“Rapsody.” He steps into me, the heat of his body warming me before he pulls the shirt over my head.
The hem falls to my knees, and I feel his body heat as I slide my hands through the arms. His scent, the one I remember so well from our time together, surrounds me. It always reminded me of what I imagined a winter forest might smell like—pine and snow and crisp air.
“Thank you.” I look at him, and our gazes lock and hold.
The air between us blends, and the small amount of space crackles with energy, just like the first time we met. His gaze dips to my lips, and he huffs. My tongue slides out, licking my lips. Just when I can’t take the tension any longer, and my patience is about to snap, Kol clears his throat and steps back.
“Time for bed,” he says.
I follow him to the house, and when I lie down to go back to sleep, for the first time since I arrived, real true hope springs to life inside me.