Shattered Vows (Midnight Manor Book 2)

Chapter 16

Sixteen

With a small canvas and some paint in hand, I wander the grounds of Midnight Manor in search of the pond. It would be a pretty place to paint, and more importantly, I need to clear my head after what happened with Kol.

Maybe staying here isn’t what’s best for me. I feel more confused than ever. Maybe my mom was right all those years she told me I couldn’t handle the real world.

I come over the crest of a rolling hill and see the pond down below. But apparently, I’m not the only one who wanted to hang out here today. The sun goes behind a cloud, and I shiver. At least that’s the reason I tell myself. It has nothing to do with Kol and Nero sitting near the pond’s edge.

Darn it. I definitely don’t want to see Kol. I don’t think I can take his whiplash moods today, and being around him certainly won’t help me sort out my feelings.

I step backward, but before I can get out of sight, Nero spots me. He raises his hand and waves. “Hey, Rapsody. Why don’t you join us?”

Kol’s body stiffens. He doesn’t turn around to look at me.

Not wanting to be rude and turn down Nero’s invitation, I slowly walk over. I realize I have a decision to make as I get closer. Will I sit beside Kol or Nero?

I choose Nero since he’s the one who invited me, and Kol hasn’t acknowledged my presence. When I reach them, I smile and sit, carefully placing the long fabric of my dress over my bare legs.

Nero eyes the paints when I set them down to my left. “You’re a painter?”

My cheeks heat. “I don’t know if I’d call myself a painter, but I enjoy it. I find it relaxing. Helps to clear my head.”

Kol scoffs, and for the first time since I sat down, our eyes connect.

“What?” I snipe, sick of his Jekyll and Hyde act.

“Own it. You’re a talented painter.”

My forehead creases. “How would you know?”

In the short time we were seeing each other, I hadn’t had the opportunity to show him any of my paintings.

“I was in the conservatory this morning and saw your paintings.”

I blink several times, not sure what to say. Not sure why he would bother complimenting me.

Nero laughs and shakes his head. “I love being right.”

I look at him. “What do you mean?”

“Ignore him. He’s drunk. And high,” Kol says.

Then I see the bottle of booze on the grass. “Are you guys celebrating something?”

A caustic laugh leaves Nero. “Certainly not. It’s a shit day for us Vosses, second only to the day that our mother was murdered. And today…” He leans in and looks me straight in the eye. There’s a glassy glint to his stare. “Today is especially shitty for me.”

“What happened?”

“Called off my wedding.” He rests a hand on my knee.

“I’m sorry.” I place my hand over his and squeeze. No wonder he’s getting drunk.

“You could help me feel better, Rapsody. I can think of some ways you could help me forget all the?—”

“Cut it out, kid.” Kol’s voice is as frosty as the tips of the Rocky Mountains in winter.

Nero laughs and removes his hand from under mine. Then he reaches into his pocket and pulls out a joint. “Want some?”

I shake my head. “No thanks.”

“Suit yourself.” He holds his hand out to Kol, who places a lighter in his palm, then Nero lights the end of his joint.

The musty scent of a skunk wafts past me.

Nero inhales, then exhales and offers it to Kol, who waves him off.

“You two are no fun. I’m gonna go see if I can find some trouble. Get my mind off things.” Nero gets up off the grass and wobbles a bit before finding his equilibrium. “See you two lov… see you two later.”

I watch him stumble his way up the hill. “Is he okay to be alone?”

“He’ll be fine. Probably go pass out somewhere and sleep it off.”

I think back to what a mess I was the day I left Atlanta. “He must be upset about ending his engagement, even if he’s the one who called it off.”

“You’d know better than me what that feels like.” Kol meets my gaze. Rather than the hatred I’m used to seeing, this time there’s only hurt.

I sigh, shoulders sagging. “I’m tired of looking back, Kol. I can’t change the past any more than you can. Maybe if you’d told me the truth from the beginning, we’d be happily married right now. Maybe if I’d come to ask you about what my mom told me, I wouldn’t have run away. I don’t know. Neither of us does. I’m sorry I hurt you, but I hurt myself in the process too. You seem to forget that part.”

Kol rips grass blades up from beside him and tosses them forward. “You’re right. We both could have done things differently, I guess.”

“I just know that I need to look forward. You’ve given me the chance to figure out what I want for my life, and to do that, I can’t keep looking toward the past. I need to look ahead, figure out what I want. I understand if you can’t do that, but if that’s the case, then I should probably leave.”

His penetrating gaze meets mine. “Where would you go? Back to Alistair?” Kol says his name as if it’s a curse.

I shake my head. “No. That’s one good thing to come from you kidnapping me, I think. I shouldn’t have ever said yes to marrying him. I didn’t feel about him the way…” The way I felt about you. “I was marrying him for the wrong reasons, and that’s not fair to him. Though I should probably call him at some point to resolve things.”

Kol’s eyebrows draw together at that suggestion, so I drop the topic for the time being. “You can stay here as long as you want, Rapsody. I’ll stop bringing up the past. Let’s start fresh.”

Hope springs buoyant in my chest, like a life raft floating on the water. “Really? You think you can do that?” I hold my breath, waiting for the answer, realizing that’s what I want more than anything.

The corners of his lips press in, but he nods. “Yeah, I think I finally can.”

Without thinking, I draw him into a hug. “Thank you, Kol.”

His body is rigid at first, but he wraps his arms around me slowly and returns the hug. The sun peeks from behind a cloud and warms the top of my head and my shoulders. We draw back, and the light makes the amber flecks in his eyes sparkle.

Tension draws taut between us, and I clear my throat and reposition myself with my legs crossed in front of me, leaning back on my hands.

“So, what do you plan to do to figure out what you want next?” he asks.

I raise my face to the sun, closing my eyes. “I’m not sure exactly. Try things I’ve never done before, I guess. Experience life. That sounds stupid probably, but I’ve never had any of the experiences that most people have at my age. I’ve only ever seen them in TV shows or movies.” I lower my chin when the sun goes behind a cloud, and my attention snags on the bottle of whiskey. “Take that for instance. I’ve never even had a drink before.”

Kol’s eyes widen in disbelief. “You’ve never had a drop of alcohol in your life?”

I shake my head. “My mom didn’t keep any in the house. If she did, I probably would have snuck some just to see what it feels like to be drunk.” I chuckle.

Kol picks up the bottle by the neck and holds it out to me. “Probably not the best experience, drinking it straight from the bottle rather than in a mixed drink, but here.”

Excitement bubbles in my chest. “I shouldn’t…”

“But you want to?” He arches an eyebrow. “Nothing is stopping you from doing what you want anymore. You said so yourself, you wanted to know what it’s like.” There’s a gleam in his eye as if he’s daring me.

But he’s right. I don’t have to be the cowering little girl anymore. I’m sticking around here so I can make decisions for myself, good and bad, so be it. One drink isn’t the end of the world, right?

I take the bottle from him, hesitantly bringing it up to my lips. I swallow a mouthful and cough immediately, my eyes watering. Kol laughs and swipes the bottle from me, taking a swig of his own.

“That’s awful!” I bring my hand to my throat, willing the burning sensation to go away.

He shrugs and hands the bottle back to me. “Like I said, probably not the best introduction to alcohol, but you made the decision for yourself.”

A grin spreads across my face because he’s right. No one told me what to do, no one insisted I do one thing or another. I got to make the call. The grin remains on my face as I tilt the bottle to my lips again, taking a smaller sip this time.

What’s the worst that could happen?