Chapter 22
Twenty-Two
Rapsody’s eyes widen, the green of them matching the grass underneath us. This is the most shocked she’s looked during this whole conversation.
I didn’t know today was going to be the day I told her about the club, even if it was part of my plan all along to get her down there. Nothing screams debauched and ruined like sex in a club.
But when she pressed the issue of her virginity, something I’ve been holding off on god knows why… that’s a lie. I know exactly why. Because the idea of taking her virginity as part of some revenge plot makes me feel like the worst kind of person. Which is saying a lot after all I’ve done.
But I knew I couldn’t do it without her knowing about the club and knowing that some fucked-up part of me wants her down there with me. If I can’t be honest with her about my intentions, the least I can do is be honest with her about that.
Hell, I can’t even be honest with myself about my intentions these days. I don’t even know where my head is at.
“You want me to go with you?” Rapsody’s soft voice draws me from my thoughts.
“I do. It’s clear to me that I’m not going to be able to fuck anyone else, so I want you there with me. I want to show you yet another first.”
She puts up her hand. “To be clear, you want me to lose my virginity to you in front of a bunch of strangers.”
Shit. I should’ve explained this better. My thoughts are a riot in my head.
Am I fucking nervous? Jesus. I’ve been on missions with a high probability that I would not return, and I never felt this anxious.
“No, that’s not what I’m asking. There’s an initiation into the club that anyone who wants to be there has to go through. There’s no getting out of it, and it’s for everyone’s protection.”
“What’s the initiation?”
“You’d have to do whatever I wanted in front of everyone. No mask. It’s videotaped, and the tape becomes the property of my brothers and me. It’s kept as leverage in the event that someone wants to get chatty about what goes on in the Ritual Room.”
“So you do want me to lose my virginity in front of everyone, just without a mask.” Rapsody doesn’t even appear scandalized. Why doesn’t she look scandalized?
I rub my hand over my shaved head. “No, I’d think of something else. I like being in front of others, but I wouldn’t want them seeing that.”
It bothers me that I even care. Who the fuck am I? A month ago, I would’ve fucked her innocence out of her in front of everyone and not cared one bit that she might come to regret losing her virginity with an audience.
“Oh, I see.” Is that disappointment in her voice?
“You don’t have to give me an answer right now, but you won’t have much time to decide. The next gathering is this weekend.”
She leans closer to me, and her pear-and-vanilla scent wraps around me. “I don’t need time to think about it.”
“Rapsody…”
She comes even closer, setting her hands on my shoulders and pushing so I’m forced to lie back. Then she moves over me so that she straddles my lap. My dick twitches at the feel of the heat between her legs.
“I already know my answer. Yes.” She presses her lips to mine, but when she tries to deepen the kiss, I force her back by the shoulders.
“Are you sure? You don’t have to do this.”
She nods, biting her lip. “I’m sure. I want adventure. This sounds like the biggest adventure I may ever have.”
I hold her emerald gaze, searching for any sign of reluctance and finding none. “All right then. It’s a date.”
Wasting no time, I slip my hand behind her head and drag her down to my lips.
The next morning after breakfast, I meet my brothers and Anabelle in Asher’s home office. Everyone’s eyes are glued to me by the mammoth fireplace, hands on my hips, looking at where they all sit on the couch and chairs.
“I’ve got an overseas call in twenty minutes,” Asher says, glancing at his Patek Phillippe watch. “Can we get on with this?”
Anabelle, the only one who can ever settle the asshole, moves her hand to his knee as if telling him to cool it. He takes her hand and lifts it to his lips, kissing her knuckles.
Why the hell does that feeling hit my chest when I see it? It feels something like longing, which is fucking ridiculous.
“Yeah, brother. What’s up? Rapsody finally send you over the edge? You need help burying the body?” Sid says with a sly grin.
I narrow my eyes.
Nero doesn’t say anything. He’s unkempt and has bags under his eyes.
I nod in Nero’s direction. “What’s up with you? You just get in?”
“Don’t worry about me. Just get on with it already.”
Asher and Anabelle share a concerned glance.
There’s nothing to worry about though. I went on benders and fuck-fests after Rapsody left me, determined to prove to myself that I didn’t care. Nero’s probably just doing the same.
“Fine. I’ll be initiating Rapsody into the Ritual Room on Saturday.”
Anabelle gasps.
Asher glares.
Sid chuckles.
And Nero gets up with a, “Fine. Whatever,” and leaves the room.
“You can’t initiate her,” Asher says.
I thought this might be an argument I’d have to have with him, so I’m not surprised. “Did it sound like I was asking for permission?”
“I don’t care if you were or not. We don’t initiate just anyone, you know that. Flights of fancy aren’t indulged when it comes to our membership.”
I scoff and motion toward Anabelle. “What the fuck was Anabelle if not a flight of fancy?”
The hand with the bear tattoo fists on Asher’s thigh. “She is more than that, and you know it.”
“But you didn’t know that at the time.”
Asher’s head tilts. “Last I heard, your plan was to seduce and ruin Rapsody, then send her packing.”
I glare at the door Nero just left through, knowing he opened his big fucking mouth.
Anabelle’s mouth drops open, and she looks between Asher and me. Obviously, this is the first she’s heard about it.
“Things have changed,” I say.
Have they? I don’t even really know myself. All I know is that lately, revenge hasn’t been at the forefront of my mind and hasn’t felt as important.
“Do tell,” Sid says with a shit-eating grin. A grin I’d like to wipe away with my fist.
“All you need to know is that I’ve prepped her on everything, and she’ll be there. End of story.”
Asher stands from the couch, stepping over to me. “If she breathes a word of this to anyone…”
He doesn’t have to finish that sentence. I know what it means. Just as I know I’d probably be the one he asked to do it.
I nod. “It’s not going to be a problem.”
He looks as though he’s not too sure, but he says, “Fine. She can join as long as she knows the consequences if she steps out of line.”
My gut twists, because I’m fairly sure the consequences will be more dire for me than her.