Shattered Wings

9. Illiana

We need to leave. I need to take Blakely and get the hell out of here before I’m accosted by someone that I don’t want to talk to. That someone being Christina. I see the looks she’s been throwing my way. The last thing I need today is a confrontation, especially in front of my child, because when it happens, it’s going to be nasty. Grabbing Blake’s hand, I rise, holding the flag in the other. My mom and Lena follow us as we walk towards their car. Out of the corner of my eye, I see Christina and Ben slowly approaching us. Not today, Satan!

“Illiana, we need to have a chat!” Christina yells. This whore chooses today of all days to chat. I think the fuck not. I don’t have time for her bullshit.

Stopping in my tracks, “Mom, can you and Lena please take Blakely to the car? I will be there in just a minute.” Mom gives me a weary look, but nods, takes the flag that I’m handing her, and does as I asked.

“Christina, I have nothing to say to you. Nothing at all. Take whatever conversation you want to have and shove it up your ass.” Stupid bitch just gives me a smug look. How the hell can she be so smug, considering what today is?

“Awe poor little Lia. You poor, pitiful woman. It’s no wonder why Jax was fucking me and not you. I bet it’s killing you. I’m pregnant with his baby and what are you left with? Knowing that he left you at home alone all the time to come to me, to fuck me. He loved me, ya know?” This woman is utterly disgusting.

“If he loved you so much, then why did he stay married to me?” And that does it. She snarls and reaches forward like she’s about to slap me. Before she can get to me, Ben is pulling her back into his hold.

“That’s what I thought, bitch! You were just an easy fuck. I was the woman that he came home to. I got to wear his ring. What did you get to wear? Oh, I know! You got to wear his come, just like the cheap slut you are. Such a shame, really. I feel sorry for your baby, though,” I say, smirking.

“You fucking bitch!” she yells out. The dumb woman is trying her best to get out of Ben’s grasp, but he’s bigger and stronger, so she stands no chance. “You’re going to pay for that. You better watch your back!” Stupid woman!

“I think that’s enough here. Ben, you need to take Christina and get the fuck out of here before we have an even bigger problem than we already do.” Lachlan says as he comes up beside me, wrapping his arm around my shoulder.

“Who do you think you are, Lachlan? You can’t tell me what to do. We need to have a conversation.” Christina says.

“I understand you need to have some sort of conversation, but now is not the time or place. You better leave before I have you escorted off the premises.”

“Fine! I will leave for now, but this is far from over. You’re going to pay me. It’s the least I deserve. And Jaxon’s baby will be taken care of if it’s the last thing I do.” Ben practically has to drag her away, but she goes. It’s crazy that this was the kind of woman that Jax was cheating on me with. She’s got mental issues or something. No person in their right mind would act like that. She won’t be getting a dime from me. It’s clear by what I’ve seen here today that she isn’t stable enough to have a baby. She’s a selfish bitch. I’ll make sure Jaxon’s baby is taken care of even though he doesn’t deserve a damn thing from me. Thank God mom and Lena got Blakely away as quickly as they did. There’s no doubt in my mind that she would have spewed venom her way as well. No one fucks with my kid. We would have had even bigger issues if that had happened. The problem I have now is that I’m going to have to explain to my mom and Lena what happened and why. Even though I didn’t want to say anything to either of our moms about what Jax did, it appears I’ll have no choice.

“Come on, baby doll. Let’s get you out of here.” Lach is always so sweet to me. I’m so lucky to have him in my life. I’m blessed that he stood by my side all these years.

“Lach, I can’t go back to that house right now. All the memories are eating me alive. It feels like I’m slowly dying day by day.” My eyes sting, as I try in vain to hold in the tears. One ends up escaping anyway. There’s a knot in my throat, making it hard to swallow. That never-ending tightness in my chest just feels like a vice wrapped around my heart.

“It’s alright, don’t worry about that right now. Let’s tell Julie and Lena that I’m going to take you on a drive. I’m sure they won’t have a problem with taking Blake back to your house.” Already shaking my head yes, he grabs my hand and pulls me towards their car.

“Okay, let me go give Blake a hug goodbye.” Lach grabs my hand, leading the rest of the way over to the car. He gives Blakely a kiss on the forehead and then I reach in, giving her a tight squeeze. The confrontation with Christina has frayed my nerves too much. I’m not sure how much more I can handle at this point. If she wasn’t pregnant, I swear I’d beat her fucking ass. I don’t have a mean bone in my body. Violence has never been my thing. That woman must be the devil because she brings out a side of myself that I’ve never seen before. At some point, I’m going to have to toughen up, especially if I have to deal with her.

“Hey ladies, do you mind taking Blake home for a little while? I’m going to take Illiana on a drive to see if it will help clear her head. She’s been through a lot today and I don’t think that going back to that house right now will help.” This man has always put me first, above all else. I think I need him more now than I ever thought possible, and that’s not fair to him.

“Of course, Lachlan. You know we don’t mind at all,” Mom says, leaning in to give him a tight hug. “We’ve missed you so much. It’s so good to see you. I’m just sorry that it’s under these circumstances.”

“I have missed y’all too. We’ll catch up soon. Maybe we can have dinner at my place. You know I have the room. I was even thinking about making a room for Blakely. I want to help her and Illiana as much as I can.” A room? What in the world is he talking about? This is news to me. But it honestly might be a good idea. She loves her Uncle Lach.

Lena leans in to give Lach a tight squeeze as she whispers in his ear. “Thank you for being so good to our girls. They are going to need all the love and support that they can get right now. Julie and I both appreciate you being here for them.” I guess Lena thinks I can’t hear her, but I hear her loud and clear.

Lachlan gives Lena a kiss on the cheek, “You never have to thank me when it comes to those two. There’s nothing I wouldn’t do for those girls. From now on, I’m going to make sure they are a priority for me.” And my heart fucking melts with his words.

“Come on, Lach. Let’s get out of here for a bit. Mom, Lena, I will see you both soon.” Grabbing Lachlan’s hand, I tug him along to his truck.

Lach opens the door for me and says, “your chariot awaits, ma’am.” Oh, my god he’s ridiculous. And please tell me why I’m blushing right now? I never blush, let alone at Lach. He’s my best friend, my safe space always. I swear, if it wasn’t for the sidestep, I wouldn’t be able to get in the truck. I’m five foot nothing. They never make it easy for short people like me.

“You need a bit of help there, short stuff? I can give you a boost.” And then he laughs, he fucking laughs. At least he knows how to lighten the mood.

“I think I can get my own self in the damn truck, Lach. Don’t be an ass.” Turning around, I give him the best glare that I can muster. He just laughs even harder. Fucking asshole!

Once I’m in the truck, he closes my door and goes around to the driver’s side to hop in. He smells of sandalwood with vanilla notes. I swear the scent of him calms me down almost immediately. Thinking back on it, he’s always had this effect on me.

“Where do you want to go, baby doll? We can go to the beach, just sit and watch the waves. Or we can go back to my house for a bit. I can give you a pair of sweats and a t-shirt so you can get comfortable.” Humming in agreement, I would love to get out of this dress and heels.

“Do you have wine? I could use some wine too. If so, we can go to your place. I just need to relax for a while, Lachlan. The last few weeks have flipped my life upside down. I’ve had very little time to sit and reflect on the shitstorm that is my life. Never in my wildest dreams could I have conceived of Jaxon doing what he did to me. And I know you’re going to want to stop me for what I’m about to say, but…I just need you to sit and listen without jumping in.” A growl leaves the back of his throat. He’s never been one to just sit and listen without adding his input. But I know he’ll do it for me this time.

“Jaxon stood by my side for years, Lach. During my battle with leukemia, he stood beside me. He could have left then, but he didn’t. He stuck around for me. In a way, I think he felt like he had no choice. Jax never wanted to let our moms down after what they both went through with our dads. He was a good man, until he wasn’t, and Jax didn’t want to live with the guilt of leaving me alone. I’ve never said this, but I think he felt forced. That doesn’t make what he did alright, but I guess it’s helping me to understand his choices a little better. I was a poison that he couldn’t get rid of. He lied to me for years, Lach. He told me he loved me. Countless times, he swore it on the angels. For most of my life, I believed Jaxon was the best thing that ever happened to me. I guess I was hoping I was the best thing to happen to him, too. He knew what he was doing to me all these years. His bitter lies have never tasted sweeter. Now I’m standing here crumbling into a broken mess of nothingness. I don’t think I’ll ever be whole again. And in the back of my mind I can’t help but think that he’d be here, he’d be alive if it wasn’t for me. He could have gotten out of the military years ago, but he stayed in for me. For me, Lach! I will have doctor’s appointments for the rest of my life. I’ll always need good health insurance and he knew that. Jax made me his responsibility when he shouldn’t have.” At this point, tears are streaming down my face. Big fat tears keep falling as reality smacks me in the face. Jax is dead because of me.

“Illiana, you can’t possibly bel…” He’s not listening to me.

“Lachlan, I love you more than you could ever possibly know. You’ve been my best friend for years. Stuck beside me through thick and thin. But I think it’s time you cut your losses. I’m not good for you. I’ll never be good enough for you. How many girlfriends have you had since we’ve been friends? I can count them on one hand, and that’s not fair to you. You need a life without me in it. I’ll just end up killing you too and I’d never be able to live with myself. I can hardly live with myself now.”

“No! That’s not true. That will never be true, Illiana. You are an amazing, beautiful woman, inside and out. Jax didn’t deserve you. He didn’t treat you how a man should treat his wife, the woman he loves. You are perfect, and don’t let anyone tell you otherwise.”

“I am far from perfect, Lach. In the end, you’ll see. You won’t stick around. I’m a black widow, after all. I’m a poison that infects all the people that I love. It fills their veins until there’s nothing left, literally. And I don’t want that to be you.”