24. Evan
24
EVAN
M y car’s engine had started to grow cold by the time I mustered the energy to pull my eyes from the sheet of paper in my hand. It was warmer today, a few days before Thanksgiving, but it was still brisk. I looked up at Montgomery headquarters and let my eyes walk up the windows to where Jacob probably sat by his desk, proudly reassuming control of the company I had neglected the past four days.
With a grunt, I pushed open the car door and climbed out. Light rain fell on my head, dampening my hair. I was glad it wasn’t snow that might hinder my plans for this evening. Amber had responded that she would be at my home at six for dinner. I didn’t want any reason to have to cancel this. After my vanishing act, she probably felt angry with me, or scared of me.
“Morning, Mr. Montgomery!” I heard behind me. I glanced over my shoulder to see Shelby walking through the parking lot toward the building. She had her phone in her hand too. No doubt she’d be texting Amber immediately to let her know what was going on. News traveled fast. I had to be faster.
“Morning,” I called back, keeping my tone even. I locked my car and followed her in, watching her type into her phone.
I steeled my resolve as I headed to Jacob’s office. I didn’t have to hear the news to know he’d be back there. After I walked out, someone had to lead. I just hoped I didn’t have to face Amber, but talking directly to my brother was worth that risk. And doing it during work hours when he would be more likely to remain calm was the only way I felt comfortable.
I rapped on his door and walked in. A woman I’d never seen before stood near his desk talking to him softly about a work event in January. I waited as his eyes flicked up to meet mine; then he nodded at her and waved her off.
“We’ll talk more later. Go on,” he told her, finally focusing on me. She smiled stiffly at me as she walked past, shutting the door behind herself. “Temp…Amber’s out sick.”
The thought rolled around my head for a moment as I mulled it over. Jacob would never have gotten a temp to fill in for Amber if it were just one day, which meant she’d taken some time off too—probably to deal with the fact that I up and left without a word.
“I assume you knew I’d show up here?” I walked forward, careful not to drop the slip of paper from my hand. The paternity results sure felt a lot heavier than the weight of that piece of paper, especially when I dropped it on Jacob’s desk before sitting down.
“I thought maybe you would.” His eyes raked over the paper then met mine. “Amber told me you reached out to her. We’ve had a lot of people looking for you.”
I wasn’t surprised they’d called in the cavalry. I’d never done anything like that before. Falling off the face of the planet had always sounded like a good idea, but the logistics of it were impossible. I had barely crossed the hurdle of a few days. Reinventing myself would never happen.
“Stayed at a hotel. Paid cash…” I tapped the edge of the paper then sat back in the chair again. “You were right.”
Jacob looked back down at the paper, this time examining it more closely. His lips moved as he read; then a firm pout formed on his lips. He took his time raising his eyes back to meet mine. His expression haunted me almost as much as the ghost of my former relationship with Amber—before I went to Europe.
“We should really talk.” He pushed the paper toward me, but I didn’t accept it. I didn’t need it anymore.
“Yes, we should.” My shoulders carried the weight of days of stress and heavy drinking. I was dehydrated and stiff. My body reminded me that I wasn’t a twenty-something anymore, that going on a bender was about as smart as turning your umbrella upside down in a rainstorm. “I’m a dad…I took toothbrushes the twins used one morning after a sleepover at my house to a private clinic and paid cash to have them run a paternity test. Parker came back a 99 percent match and Vera’s toothbrush didn’t have enough DNA.”
“I’m gonna crack down and make sure she starts brushing better,” Jacob joked. His deadpan expression matched mine. The humor didn’t faze me because the only thing I could articulate was that I was hurt. Laughter seemed like a thing of the past.
“I’m hurt, Jake.” My honest truth pulled a grimace from him. I ran my tongue along my teeth and sucked the saliva out of my mouth and swallowed it. It was a bitter taste to speak the truth so bluntly. “But I need to tell you I’m sorry. I shouldn’t have snapped at you.”
Jacob sighed and sat back. He rubbed a hand down over his face then back up over his head. My apology opened the dam, releasing tension from both of us. We were just two brothers here to have a chat about a mutual acquaintance.
“Evan, you have no idea how many times I wanted her to tell you.” He shook his head, furrowing his brow deeply. “She’s been through so much. Life hasn’t treated her well since having those kids. Preemies take extra attention and care. She has expenses for Parker’s therapy for his learning disorder.”
Jacob’s posture told me more about the situation than his words. Since the first interaction with him after returning back here—the way he demanded I respect her—I’d known he cared a great deal for her. Now I knew why. He was here watching her struggle and almost suffocate under the weight she carried as a single mother. Things I should have been here to help with.
“I just don’t understand why you never told me…Why she never thought to tell me if it was such a struggle.” Anger threatened to rise up, but I swallowed it down the way I had been for days now.
“She chose you over herself.”
“What?” I was shocked by Jacob’s words.
“You were going around bragging about Europe and this big adventure you were going to have. You told everyone you knew at least three times.” Jacob chuckled and shook his head. “I almost believed it was the wrong choice sending you.”
“And she thought I wanted that more than her? More than learning I’d be a father?” Understanding dawned slowly, light creeping into the dark places of my mind that had painted her and Jacob as villains in my story.
“She thought you would be happier. Then she found out it was twins and got afraid. Eventually, we agreed we’d say something when she felt safe, but I learned you were dating someone. Erin let it slip at family dinner. After that Amber refused to say a thing to you. She respected that you had a life she didn’t want to interrupt.” He scratched his head with one hand while he closed his eyes. “She was afraid of your reaction.”
Those words broke me. Until now, I harbored a lot of anger toward her for the secret. My mind still wanted to hold on and stay angry, but the very idea of her being afraid of me for any reason softened the edges of my emotion. Sandpaper over a fine wood grain being smoothed out by understanding.
“God,” I grunted. It was my turn to rub my face in frustration. I leaned forward and took the paper off the desk, folding it up. Knowing that information settled something in my chest. I now knew how to approach this situation tonight when she came for dinner.
“So go easy on her. Amber’s a great woman. Chester would have been very proud of her.”
“I’d say he would.” I stood up and tucked the paper into my pocket. “So, I guess I’m fired?” This time the joke landed. Jacob chuckled and stood with me.
“From CEO, yes. From R&D? No.” His hand shot out and I accepted it, shaking it firmly.
“Thank you for talking with me. And thank you for taking good care of them.” As I pulled my hand back, Jacob nodded and smiled warmly.
“It was my genuine pleasure. I don’t know if you and Amber are going to work things out, but I know she’s pretty nervous about your reaction. You have every right to be angry, but be gentle.” I didn’t need his kind reminder but I respected it. “What are you going to say to her?”
“We just…We need to talk,” was all I could offer him. I had no way of knowing what words would come out in what order. Amber meant the world to me, despite having hurt me so deeply. Any love worth having was a love worth fighting for. “I’ll talk to you later.”
I grabbed my coat on the way out the door, turning toward the exit. Passing Shelby’s office, I glanced in and noticed her watching me. It seemed the entire office was curious after my vanishing act. But the only opinion that really mattered was still out ahead of me on this lonely road.
At six o’clock, I had to face my demons and pray by some grace of God I’d be able to hold myself together long enough to articulate how I felt. Jacob was right. Amber didn’t deserve a harsh reply from me if she really had done everything to put me first. The fact that she’d been afraid of my reaction saddened me, though. I wasn’t sure how to take it.
The only way to get through this was one step at a time.
Tonight, I was taking the first one.