12. Rose
12
ROSE
I carried the weight of that interaction with Cole on my shoulders as I walked back into the hospital after my break. I had never seen him that irritable before, but I knew everyone had bad days now and then. It felt a little off putting, but I didn’t know everything about him, only what little he had shared and what Kiki had told me. Now I wondered what sort of things could be happening in his life to make him so grumpy and if there was a way I could help.
I headed to the nurse's station to check back in and overheard them chatting about something. It piqued my interest and I felt bad, but I listened in a little.
"Well you know what's coming next. If that lawsuit goes through, they'll cut nursing. No way they go to cutting doctors. They’ll just expect us to work more hours for the same pay and have fewer hands to do the work." One of the nurses, a frumpy woman named Pam, looked upset. I didn’t know what lawsuit they were talking about, but hearing that bit about firing nurses caught my attention. I couldn’t just ignore that.
"What did you say?" I asked, turning to pick up a stack of charts I had to file. The nurse looked up at me, and so did the younger one. This was when I hated my own policy of not making friends with coworkers. I intentionally did not learn their names so I could feel less attached. Now I wish I knew them.
The younger nurse, Ginny , her nametag read, said, "Oh, some doctor screwed up and there's a malpractice suit out there. If Premier Health gets sued, there'll be hell to pay. I've never dealt with this, but Pam has and?—
"And it's not pretty," Pam said, cutting Ginny off. She scowled. "They have to come up with money somewhere, and you know they won't stop their research or expensive testing that's unnecessary. They'll just cut laborers. Doctors are too important so they cut nursing and techs, and that leaves us in a pinch." I wasn't fond of her negative attitude, but I was listening to her words.
"Wow, yeah. That doesn't sound good." I wanted to ask if they knew what happened, but I felt like that was bordering on gossip. If hospital administration wanted us to know, they would announce it. I grimaced and backed a step away. "Thanks… Uh, if that happens, who gets fired first?"
"Well, it's not like firing," Ginny said. "They call it reduction in force, and you're just laid off. You'd be free to work somewhere else, but you can't draw unemployment for a year." She sighed hard and shook her head.
"That's awful," I mumbled, and Pam picked up where Ginny left off.
"Yeah, and the first ones hired are the first to go. So, lucky me, since I’ve been here twenty-two years, I get to do all your work." Pam was projecting her anger about the hospital's policy onto me because I was the new girl, and I didn't like that at all. But some people were just rude like that.
I turned and walked away with my new knowledge, but it made my footsteps heavy.
After Cole's grumpiness, I felt even more weighted now. I knew I couldn’t control the future and that there was no point in worrying about things, but I needed this job. Hearing that things higher up the food chain were happening to put my job at risk made me feel uneasy as I filed the charts away and turned toward my first patient.
Her name was Bethany, a sixteen-year-old girl who came in with a broken femur after a soccer match. She was bright and full of life, and I loved stopping by to see her. I popped into her room and she was all smiles, sitting up in bed.
"Hey, Bethany, how are you feeling today?" She had only a few more days left and she could go home. Her days were spent lonely while her parents worked, but they came by for dinner in the evenings. We just had to get her fitted for a walker and able to move around a bit by herself and she'd be gone.
"Oh, hey, Rose. I'm doing so much better. When Ginny came in to help me use the toilet, I just used the wheelchair, but I'm really looking forward to being up on my feet again." I was amazed by how this girl in her teens took this all in stride. She lost her ability to play her favorite sport during her junior year and she was still positive. It was a real reminder to me that no matter what happened, I'd be fine.
"That's so good. I heard ortho is coming in this afternoon to bring you a few different types of walkers and crutches. You follow your rehab schedule and you'll be training for soccer again by fall. It's sad you'll miss the spring league, though." I turned to check her wristband and then checked that against the computer to make sure she was getting her proper pain meds. Everything was in order, but she was so positive all the time, I just liked being in her room.
"Oh, that’s nothing. I'll be fine for senior year. The scouts will be out to watch, I’m sure." She smiled broadly and said, "Hey, do you mind getting me some more of that Jell-O? I'm feeling hungry today."
"Absolutely," I told her, grinning. "I'll be right back." I stepped into the hallway and walked around the corner to the nurses’ station. We kept cups of Jell-O in the fridge for patients, so I walked in to get one and while I was in there, I heard someone whistle under their breath. I poked my head out, cup of Jell-O in hand, and saw Cole walking past.
"Lordy, lordy… Dr. Silver Fox is on it today. Look at that brooding expression. He's like a real fox stalking prey." Pam waggled her eyebrows, and Ginny chuckled.
"He could come stalk me any day." Ginny snickered and fanned herself. Jealousy pinched my chest, and I scowled a little. They had every right to look at him or talk the way they wanted, but it sort of left me feeling miffed, considering I was seeing him but we couldn’t—or shouldn't—say anything.
I stood just inside the kitchenette doorway and listened to them talking, hating that I was eavesdropping but unable to walk away. I had no claim staked on Dr. Hastings. He was a free man, but for some reason, I felt possessive, like I was upset they were even looking at him.
"I heard Hicks and Davidson both got fired for shacking up, Gin. I wouldn’t be getting any fancy imaginations about the sexy silver fox." Pam's words of caution aimed at Ginny hit me square in the chest. I'd never met the two employees she was speaking of, but it didn’t get past me that they were "shacking up" and got fired for it.
Cole said we'd be fine because we worked in different departments, but I'd had my hesitation. Policy was policy, and if the hospital HR team wanted to get nitpicky, they could.
"I was just fantasizing, Pam." Ginny's tone was playfully chastising, but I heard the tinge of disappointment in her tone.
I wondered how many nurses had fantasized about Cole and how many had told him. How many times a day did he have to fend off would-be paramours to keep himself out of trouble? I didn't like that feeling at all.
"I'm just reminding you to walk the line. With the hospital under scrutiny, now isn't the time to go all Girls Gone Wild . If you know what I mean."
I scowled and swallowed the lump in my throat as I left the kitchenette and ignored the looks Ginny and Pam gave me. I felt like I was on an emotional yo-yo from one moment to the next, and I wanted to stop and get off.
I walked with the Jell-O back to Bethany's room, but I was the one brooding now. Pam had a really good point. Not only was I one of the last nurses to be hired recently, but I was also walking on thin ice. If the hospital did start laying off nurses, I couldn’t really afford to be the first out the door. Bethany was encouraging with her spirit, but she was sixteen. She didn't have bills to pay. I was risking my career by sneaking around with a coworker.
I started thinking, maybe this wasn't a good idea. Maybe if the hospital was on the verge of major cuts, I shouldn't be putting a large red target on my back. But the idea of letting Cole down when he was going through something, and especially if what Kiki said was true about his not opening up to anyone or dating… I felt stuck.
And that wasn't a good feeling to have.