11. Jaxon
It was so fucking hard being in the same classroom with her and having to act as if I am just her fucking professor.
I wanted to end class early just so I could talk to her, but I fucking can’t do that.
It is not against the rules to fuck students, but it is looked down upon, and I know that she has been having a hard enough time with the other students. I don”t want to bring her any more unwanted attention.
I want her to want to be with me, not make it harder on her.
Kids can be cruel, and it seems like she has already caught the attention of Chad and his friends, I have been watching him, and he has been keeping his eyes on her. As far as I know, they haven’t met up again for any tutoring sessions, and if I have anything to say about it, they fucking won’t be meeting up again.
But for this to work, I need to bring her to my house and show her something. She has to know my secret and be willing to sign the contract.
I have already broken enough rules. The contract and her knowing about the black room are two rules I can’t fucking break, no matter how badly I want to.
I haven’t known her that long, but I knew something was special about her after that first run-in, and since then, I have belonged to her, and now I want her to belong to me, and this is the only way I know how to fucking do it. I don”t care if people think we are moving too fast. My world has no fucking rules and doesn’t care if something is Taboo.
I just hope that she doesn’t care as well.
She gave me another one of her firsts last night. I stayed in her room until 5 a.m., just watching her sleep. She let me clean up her arm and wrap it. I wanted to do more, but she didn’t have the things needed to take care of her the way I wanted to. That is going to change after tonight, or at least I am hoping it changes.
This all comes down to her making a choice. I have chosen her, and now she needs to choose me as well, officially.
I pull in front of the library and remove my helmet.
Lil is walking down the steps. She looks up and smiles, making her way down the rest of the stairs and across the street.
She stops to the side of me, eyeing my bike.
“Darlin, I have something I want to talk to you about,” I say to her.
“Okay,” she says, smiling at me.
“Do you trust me?” I ask, loving to hear her answer. That is never going to get old.
She smiles and nods. “Yes, Jax, I trust you.”
I reach out the helmet, and she takes a deep breath and takes it from me.
I watch her closely as she puts on the helmet and swings her legs over, snuggling behind me.
“Wrap your arms around my waist,” I say calmly.
She does as I ask without question.
I rest my hand on her leg for a moment.
“Hold on tight.”
I take off down the road, and the rain is softly coming down; I rest my hand on her leg; the need to protect her from anyone and anything is becoming fucking overwhelming. Wanting to protect her, needing to protect her, comes so fucking easy.
“Are you okay?”
“Yeah,” She yells from behind me, tightening her grip on me.
I take her hand and open the front door leading her inside.
She follows behind me not saying a word as she looks around me.
I lead her into the living room, the fire is already going and the papers are on the table.
I have never been nervous before, but with her, I am.
“What did you want to talk to me about?” She asks in a curious voice.
I lead her to the table and motion for her to take a seat. She does, without question, sit right in front of the contract.
I take the seat next to her and lean back in the chair.
“What is this?” She asks, a little confused.
“This is what I wanted to talk to you about; it is a contract, Liliana,” I say to her, watching her shift a little in her seat.
“What kind of contract?”
“A relationship contract,” I confirm with her.
“I don”t understand,” she confesses as she sits back in her seat.
I take in a deep breath “You have read all of my books?’
She nods.
“Even the one about BDSM?” I ask, eyeing the bookshelves.
“Yeah.”
I look back at Lil; her eyes are on me as she waits for me to answer. Fuck. “That is what this contract is, it is you agreeing to be mine and only mine, it contains the different sexual acts, among other things, and it also gives a list of rules that you would follow”
Her body tenses with the last few words I spoke.
“Rules?” She whispers.
“Yes.”
“What kind of rules?” She asks in a concerned voice.
“Rules that line out, that you are mine, different things you state you will do, and not do”
“Okay,” She says, nodding more to herself than to me.
“Will you please look over the contract for me, Lil? I promise you it will make more sense to you once you read it.”
“Okay, Jax, I will read it.”
I slowly stand up and lean down, kissing the top of her head.
”I will be right down that hallway; my office is at the end. Once you are ready, let me know, and we can talk, “ I softly state.
“Wait, you aren’t going to stay as I read it.”
I shake my head, “No, this is something you need to do on your own so you don”t feel pressured. I promise I will be just down that hallway,” I say as I point to the right.
She nods, looks down at the contract leaning forward, and starts to read.
I know what I want her to do, but this needs to be her choice.
For the past two hours, Liliana has been reviewing the contract in the living room, which has been the longest two hours of my life.
I don”t know what I will do if she doesn’t agree to the contract terms. I have never had a relationship without it.
I take in a deep breath as my office door opens. I lean back in my chair as I watch Lil walk in. She looks at me for a moment and then at my bookshelves.
A smile forms across her lips as her eyes come back to me. She is holding the contract against her chest.
“Will you sign my copies?” She asks me with a smile.
“What?” I ask.
“Will you sign my copies?” she asks, motioning towards the shelf full of my books, even the ones that haven’t been published yet.
A chuckle escapes me. “Yes, Darlin, I will sign your books. I will even leave a little note inside just for you.”
Her smile grows as she slowly makes her way across my office and around my desk. I turn and look at her, and she takes a seat on my lap, laying the contract on the desk. I rest my hand on her lower back as I look down and see her signature is not on the contract.
My heart starts to race for a completely different reason.
“Can I ask you something?” She asks softly.
“Yes, ask me anything,” I confess to her. There are no secrets I will not tell her; all she has to do is ask.
“Why do you have a contract?” She asks in a curious voice.
I take a deep breath and run my free hand through my hair, her eyes staying on me as I think about my answer.
“I need to know that you consent to our relationship,” I confess to her. It is the truth. I need her consent.
“Why wouldn’t I consent?” She asks, looking over me.
“My taste is different than others, Lil,” I tell her calmly.
“What is a hard limit?” She asks with a small smile.
I love how fucking innocent she is.
A smile forms across my lips
“A hard limit is an act you don”t feel comfortable doing; it is a hard no for you,” I tell her, watching her carefully.
“What if I don”t have a hard limit?” She asks.
Good fucking question.
“Well, we will cross the bridge when we get there, Darlin,” I try and reassure her; she doesn’t need to figure it out all right now. We have time. It is all about her time, not mine. I don”t want her to feel pressured to do this if she doesn’t want to.
“So I can say no,” she asks in a shy voice.
“Of course you can say no.”
She studies my face for a moment.
“What happens if I don”t want to sign?” She asks in a nervous voice.
“I don”t know, Liliana; I never had a relationship without this contract,” I tell her honestly.
She takes in a deep breath.
“Why?”
“It’s complicated, I am complicated,” I tell her. If I had all the answers, I would tell her, but there are some things about myself that I don”t even understand.
“Yes, you are, but so am I.” She says with confidence.
“You don”t have to sign it right now. Just please think about it?”
She looks down at the contract and then back up at me. She leans in, her lips almost touching mine.
“Will you fuck me once I sign?” She asks in a low, desired voice.
Fuck, fuck, shit.
“That is a trick question, Darlin; normally, yes, but with you, I want it to be more than just fucking.” I confess to her. I have a feeling I will be the one confessing to her. It comes easy, way too fucking easy.
She nods and leans into me resting her head on my chest, I wrap my arm around her and rest my chin on her head.
I have never wanted this before, and I have a feeling even if she didn’t sign, I would give in to her. I wouldn’t be able to walk away,
Because I am in love with her.