Singled Out

Chapter 25

Our dads’ night ended earlier than usual—a lot earlier.

After we ate, Chance had checked his daughter’s location on his phone, found her not at home, and left to spoil her fun.

Not thirty minutes later, West’s babysitter had texted that Scarlett, one of his twins, was inconsolable and scared her daddy had left too, so West had taken off, putting a damper on our moods, because damn if we didn’t feel for him and for his little girl.

The remaining three of us had shot the shit for a few more minutes. Then Ben and Luke had left by nine. I’d had the terrace cleaned up by ten after and had been sitting on the end of my dock ever since.

The temperature was cool enough to light a fire, but I was more content to sit in the dark, nearly surrounded by the water. Alone.

I didn’t know how much time had passed, probably at least an hour, when I noticed the distant echoes of laughter from a party across the lake had died down. The insects were chirping at full volume when my phone vibrated with a message.

I knew before looking it was Harper. She usually messaged when all was clear on her end. I waited several heartbeats before pulling out my phone, a knot forming in my gut.

Beautiful, sexy Harper. She deserved so much better than what I could offer.

How’s the dad party?

All done.

You guys quit early. Danny’s at Levi’s all night?

Yes.

I’ll be over in a few.

When we first started this…fling…she’d always been careful to ask if it was okay, but somewhere along the way, our nights together had become a given. If we were both available, she spent most of the night in my bed.

We’d drifted over a line at some point.

Tonight, when I should’ve felt freer than usual with Danny out of the house, I was unsettled instead. It didn’t feel right for my son to be gone, and it didn’t feel okay to carry on with Harper.

I texted her one more time:

I’m on the dock.

Twenty minutes later, I heard her rustling through the grass, but I didn’t turn around. She reached the dock, stepped onto the surface, and made her way to me with quick, light steps.

“Hi,” she said as she sat down next to me.

“Hi.” I looked over at her in the darkness. It killed me how pretty and young and happy and…expectant she was.

“What are you doing out here?” She glanced around as if making sure we were alone.

“Just…thinking.”

“Anything good?” Her tone had dimmed, gone a little serious, as if she sensed my state of mind.

Instead of answering directly, I closed my eyes, wondering if I was really going to do this.

I needed to.

I knew I needed to, but fuck.

“This thing between us,” I began, then swallowed, gave myself one last chance to reconsider. “It’s run its course, Harper.”

She was quiet for so long I turned to look at her again. She tilted her head and said, “Funny, I thought it was just getting good.”

Ah, hell. There was a part of me that’d been hoping she’d agree right away. That would’ve made this suck-ass conversation a little less suck ass.

“You’re incredible, Harper?—”

“Oh, my God, stop,” she said. “Max, stop. Can we talk about this?”

“Of course.” I didn’t like that idea, didn’t think it would do any good, but I owed her a conversation if she wanted it.

“I…” She shook her head and hugged her knees to her chest. “I know we never set out to grow closer, but we have. I said I wasn’t looking for anything long-term, but…we’re good together.”

Shit. This was not what I’d expected at all.

“What changed, Harper?”

She didn’t answer right away, looking out over the water, lost in thought. “I guess I did,” she said quietly. “Naomi’s death affected me. Made me realize how lacking my life was. I’ve consciously started taking more chances. I have a great apartment on the square, and Cambria, Dakota, and I are on the verge of owning our own business, if we can just find an investor. It feels weird to say, but I’m loving it. The more chances I take, the more I want to keep taking chances because they’re making me happy.”

“I’m glad you’re happy,” I said lamely.

She lowered her knees and swung around to face me. “I’ve been wanting to talk about us for a while. Even though it isn’t the deal we started out with, I want a chance with you, Max. Look at me.”

I did as she requested, meeting her gaze that was filled with so much sparkle and honesty it hurt.

“I’m in love with you, Max, and I could swear you care about me too.”

Her declaration knocked the breath right out of me. A dozen emotions swirled through me so intensely I couldn’t begin to pick them apart or name them.

“I want more than your secret nighttime hours,” she continued, gathering steam. “I want to spend time with both you and Danny, get to know your son better, be a couple out in public. I know you’re worried what my dad will say, but all he wants is for me to be happy. If I tell him you make me happy, he’ll be all for us being together.”

Fuck.

I never should’ve kept what Bob Ellison had said to myself, but the only thing to do now was come clean. I rubbed a hand over my face, hating past Max, the one who hadn’t leveled with her. “Your dad already gave me his blessing.”

I was again met with several tense seconds of silence.

“What?” Her confusion was clear.

“I’m sorry I didn’t tell you.”

“What do you mean? When did he give you his blessing?”

“After the gala, he came to my classroom first thing that Monday morning. Scared the hell out of me because we’d been together the night before. I thought for sure he was there to bust my balls. He shocked me by saying he’d reconsidered. He thought I’d be good for you. If I wanted to pursue you, I had his blessing.”

“Good for me? Why didn’t you tell me this?”

“I should have,” I said. I knew damn well I should have. “I guess maybe I was clinging to it as an excuse for why we can’t be together.”

She fumed quietly. I couldn’t blame her.

“What’s the real reason, Max? How about you be honest with me since I just bared my heart to you.”

I considered diving into the lake, swimming for as long as I could hold my breath, as a distraction, an escape. But I owed her the truth.

I sat there for ages, considering where to start, how to convey what was in my head. Maybe I was half hoping she’d get sick of waiting, give up on me, and leave. It would’ve been easier.

“I think I told you my dad left my mom for another woman when I was a kid,” I began. “I came home from school one day, and all his stuff was gone. My mom’s eyes were red as she explained he’d moved to Nashville. That messed me up good. I went through years of counseling to work through it. Thank God my mom got me counseling. Maybe you went through the same sort of thing when your parents split.”

“My mom didn’t desert me. I mean, she ended up across the country, but she visits. We talk often enough. And I was a senior in high school at the time, so I was older and focused on getting out of school, becoming an adult. Not trying to get through middle school or puberty.”

I nodded. If my dad had wanted to stay in my life, maybe it would’ve been less traumatic. “He tried to take my brother and sister and me out for dinner a couple of times not long after he left. Levi was pissed at him. Dakota was too young to understand what was going on. I couldn’t act like everything was fine. Each time, dinner was awkward and awful. The longest hour and a half of my life. He stopped trying after that. He called us on our birthdays. Couldn’t be bothered with Christmas because he and his new wife liked to travel for the holidays.” I shrugged. “It became easier to give up on him than to hope things would get better.”

Harper’s brow furrowed as she listened.

“I thought I was over it, but now I have Danny to protect, and that’s brought a lot of the old stuff to the surface,” I said. “Jamie named me guardian because he went through the same thing—his dad took off—and he trusted me to put Danny’s needs first.”

“So you’re going to stay single for your whole life?” she asked, disbelieving.

“Until he’s grown. I never intended to get married anyway. My parents soured me on the idea. I like my life the way it is.”

“Lately you’ve been having your cake and eating it too.” There was more than a little resentment in her tone.

“That was our agreement,” I reminded her. “Casual, fun, short-term. No strings.”

“Yeah, that’s my bad. I’m the idiot who let myself feel things.” There was heat in her words, and I suspected it was directed toward her instead of me. I didn’t want her down on herself. I was the one with the deep-seated problems here.

She stood abruptly. “I’m sorry your dad hurt you so bad, Max. I’m sorry I caught feelings for you. That was never my plan.” She kicked the dock with her toe repeatedly. “I’ve told you before I would never intentionally hurt Danny.”

I stood too. “Key word being intentionally. There’s no way to know how long we would last, Harper. I can’t put Danny in the position to lose again. He’s already lost too much.”

As much as I hated the idea of not spending nights with Harper anymore, Danny’s needs had to come first.

“I feel sorry for you,” she said quietly. “You could be loved. Both you and Danny could be loved if you’d just let yourself. By trying so hard to protect him, you’re depriving him of more people to love him.”

Her words rattled me a little, rousing my never-ending doubts regarding fatherhood. Maybe her point was valid, but Danny had my love, my family’s love. There was no question he was well loved, adored, cherished.

She closed her eyes for a moment, a flash of pain crossing her face.

That single moment gutted me. Because I did care about her, more than I’d ever intended to. “I’m sorry, Harper.”

It hurt like hell to end it, but it’d be so much worse the longer we were together.

I was doing the right thing.

“Yeah,” she said in a scoff. “Guess that’ll teach me to let my heart get involved. Thanks for the lesson.”

I started to reach for her, to offer comfort, but I stopped myself. She didn’t want comfort from me. I couldn’t give her what she wanted.

“Have a lovely, lonely life, Max.”

I couldn’t bear to watch her walk away, so I turned back to the water. As I listened to her footsteps receding, a new doubt flared to life. Maybe I’d underestimated how much this would hurt.

All I could do was bury that doubt, ignore that hurt, and remind myself I was doing this for my son first and foremost.