Chapter 22
My grandfather used to say that a farmer who couldn’t accept the temperamental nature of Highland weather should find somewhere else to farm, or not farm at all.
“You can’t rely on her heart to stay the same from season to season,” Granddad had said one autumn when constant rain had destroyed any chance of us cultivating the land long enough to plant barley.
“Her?”
“Mother Nature.” Granddad gave me a grin I knew he didn’t feel. “Just when you think you know her, her heart will change.” He’d gestured to the flooded fields. “And we have to be able to change with her or the stress will swallow us whole.”
The memory of his wise words hit me as I stared up at my bedroom ceiling, skin damp with sweat, heart racing and my limbs relaxed with utter repletion. Turning my head on the pillow, my gut clenched at the sight of the beautiful naked woman in my bed.
Her hands were curled by her head, her breasts trembling as her breathing slowly eased.
Miraculously, I wanted her again.
Even though I’d just had her four times.
On the table, on the bed, on her hands and knees, and then her riding me.
Just looking at her caused a stirring in my cock, despite the last few hours of fucking.
Allegra sensed my stare and turned her head on the pillow. Her expression tightened and I saw questions and worries in those gorgeous, dark eyes. She didn’t make me guess her thoughts, though. That was something I liked about her. A lot. “Is this the part you tell me it was a mistake?”
It was never a conscious decision to remain single all these years. I’d just enjoyed my autonomy. Why be in a relationship when I could have the best of both worlds? Sex when I wanted without the commitment. Honestly, I’d started to believe as time wore on that I wasn’t made to be in a committed relationship.
But the thought of something that casual with Allegra caused an immediate agitation to edge through me. Because one primal thought had pounded through my head as I thrust into her, a thought I’d had to grit back from blurting out like a fucking caveman.
Mine.
I liked sharing space with this woman. I looked forward to coming home to her. Life was empty and cold without her. So I had a choice. I could remain steadfast in my belief that I preferred to be single and probably end up a miserable, lonely bastard for the rest of my life. Or I could accept that the wind blew in change whenever it felt like it and you either adjusted or fought against it to your ruin.
“I don’t want it to be a mistake,” I admitted, my voice sounding rough like I hadn’t used it in a while.
Her eyes widened slightly as she pushed up onto her elbows. “What does that mean?”
“It means …” I rolled over onto her, taking her left hand and pressing it deep into the pillow so our wedding rings touched. “We’re married. I’m your husband and you’re my wife. And we have eighteen months to decide if we want to stay that way.”
A smile teased the corners of her lush mouth, and she bit her lower lip as if to stop it. My cock stirred between her thighs at the sight. “Really?”
I released her hand to smooth her hair back from her face as I whispered across her lips. “There’s something here. Isn’t there?”
This time she released the full blast of her smile as she looked up at me with tenderness and affection. “There is. I’ve thought that for five years.”
My chest suddenly felt too full as I stared into her eyes.
Because how the fuck did I get so lucky? I didn’t know what a woman like Allegra Howard McCulloch saw in me, but I was too smart to question it. Instead, I took her mouth in a slow, easy kiss. Savoring her now that the urgent fervor from earlier had cooled. Somewhat.
Remembering what had driven me to fuck my wife on the kitchen table, I lifted my head. I frowned. “I don’t cheat.” I knew she was messed up about fidelity because of her dad, but I’d never do that to her.
Remorse crossed her face as she reached up to smooth her fingers over my short beard. “I know. I just … we weren’t together together, and I thought maybe …”
“I’ve never felt this way about Sorcha,” I confessed gruffly. “About anyone. I wasn’t lying when I said I hadn’t thought about touching another woman since you moved into the house. It’s been torture lying in this bed with you on the other side of the wall, unable to fucking touch you.”
Allegra suddenly grinned, a twinkle of mischief in her eyes as she wrapped her arms and thighs around me. Fuck, she felt so good. I didn’t understand why she felt so much better than any woman ever had, but I wasn’t going to question that either. “I saw you naked last night.”
Amusement filled me. “Aye?”
“Aye,” she teased. “I stepped out of my bedroom to get a glass of water and your door was open. You came out of the shower.”
“And you were spying on me?” I pretended to be affronted.
Allegra giggled, her breasts shaking against me. I reached down to stroke her, my thumb strumming over her nipple. Her breath caught. “I … I went back to bed and touched myself.”
I froze, hot blood rushing toward my cock. “What?”
“I touched myself, thinking of you, naked.”
“Last night you were on the other side of my wall touching yourself?” My hips thrust with a mind of their own, nudging against the hot heat between her legs.
“Oh, that wasn’t the first time.”
The imagery made me mindless with want. I was going to take her again. “Condom,” I bit out, and reached for the string of packets on the bedside table.
It seemed to take forever to get it on even though it was probably only a few seconds.
Relief flooded me as I pushed inside her tight heat. I took her mouth, groaning into her as I kept my thrusts slow and easy. She wrapped her arms and legs around me as before and held on as we just enjoyed the sensation.
When she came, her eyes holding mine, it wasn’t just the feel of her coming that made me climax. It was watching Allegra come. It was knowing that I did that. That I took her there.
As I shuddered through my own orgasm, pressing kisses across her cheek and down her throat, I realized that I’d just made love to my wife.
I’d never made love in my life before.
A slice of panic cut through the happiness buzzing between us. But I didn’t want fear to fuck this up, so I pushed it back down as I rolled off her and pulled her into my arms.