Chapter 23
“You two are shagging, aren’t you?”
Scowling, I turned to Georgie. My mate smirked at me knowingly. I glanced at the men who stood congregated on the land that would house the glamping pods. Planning permission had been granted and the company I’d hired were out making final deliberations. The pods would be built at their factory in Aberdeen and then driven in pieces to the plot where they’d go up in a matter of days.
“Good thing they can’t hear you.” I huffed.
“Oh, come on. Tell me. I’m right, aren’t I?”
How the hell did he know? I narrowed my eyes.
Georgie snorted. “Jar, despite the fact the police haven’t found who killed our ewe, you’ve joked and laughed more this past week than I’ve seen in years. Plus, Gordon saw you snogging your wife in the car park behind Sloane’s and now everybody knows about it.”
Gordon was a retired businessman who used to own a lot of property here. He was also a gossiping auld bastard. I shook my head. “Fucking villagers.” It was true, though. I had kissed Allegra when we dropped off the eggs at Morag’s. I was apparently incapable of being near her and not touching her. The last week had been a haze of sex and laughter and just feeling right for the first time in forever.
A call from the police informing me that my father had denied killing the ewe was the only dark spot. Without evidence, there was nothing the police could do. I just had to hope my father wasn’t lying and it had been a random attack by a fucked-up tourist passing through.
“At first I thought it might have been for show, you two snogging, but you’re acting very much like a man who is getting well and truly laid every night and laid well, my friend.”
I cut him a warning look. I’d never been one to kiss and tell, anyway, but it was different with Allegra. No one was allowed to talk about her in that context. Not even Georgie, who I knew was harmless. “Shut it.”
He raised his palms defensively. “Oh, we are territorial, eh? Aye, I suppose I would be too if Allegra Howard was my wife.”
“McCulloch,” I bit out. “Allegra McCulloch. And, Georgie, we are together. We’re seeing how it goes. But you and I are not going to talk about my wife like that.”
His grin took up half his face. “I’ll be damned. Jared McCulloch finally fell.”
“Fuck off.”
“Look at you calling her ‘my wife.’ You like it. You fucking love calling her ‘my wife.’”
“I’m going to fucking love running the tractor over you if you don’t shut up.”
“Do you make her say ‘my husband’?” he continued.
“Fuck off, Georgie.” I started walking toward the crew.
“Where is your wife this morning?” he called after me.
“Telling your wife to divorce you for someone with a bigger dick!” I yelled back, making the men burst into surprised laughter.
“I’ll have you know my dick is perfectly in proportion to my glorious physique!”
I grinned as the men laughed harder. “Sorry about that, gents. How’s it looking here? Are we ready to roll?”
“It’s looking good.”
“And what about the other project?” I gestured toward the woods behind us.
“Aye.” Craig, the project manager, nodded. “Let’s head down there and go over the plans.”
Apparently, we couldn’t even watch a sex scene on a TV show without it turning us on. We made the mistake of watching a popular historical romance show. I was bored by it, but Allegra seemed into it, so we watched a few episodes after dinner. Then suddenly the TV show took a turn and there was a lot of sex. Like, a shit ton.
Next thing my wife looked at me with sharp desire in her expression and our clothes were coming off. I stretched out, back on the couch, while Allegra rode me. Watching her take what she needed was so fucking hot. Watching her shudder through an orgasm always made me come.
Afterward, she snuggled in my arms as we laid on the couch. The TV had long been switched off and a quiet silence existed between us as I trailed my fingertips down the silk of her naked back.
“I was thinking,” Allegra spoke softly, “that we should get a health check and if we’re good to go, we could stop using condoms. I’m on the pill.”
Last time I had sex without a condom was my first time. The thought of sliding bare into Allegra made my cock twitch. “Aye, that sounds like a plan.”
I felt her smile against my chest. “Okay. Let’s do that, then.”
We’d already talked about our day over dinner, so I was happy to just lie there in relaxed silence together, but Allegra had other thoughts on her mind.
“Has sex never really been more for you? More than just sex, I mean? It’s never been … I don’t know … romantic?”
I didn’t know why the question was important, but I didn’t mind answering honestly. “Until you, aye. It’s always just been for release. I was thirteen the first time and it was with a sixteen-year-old girl who lived in the same tenement. There was nothing romantic about it. Believe me. And we were lucky she didn’t get pregnant.”
“She was sixteen?” Allegra raised her head, expression horrified. “What was she doing having sex with a thirteen-year-old?”
I chuckled at her horror. “I looked older. Acted older. We all did, growing up in a place like that.” I stroked her soft cheek. “It was different for you than us. I’m glad for it. I know you grew up too fast, too, but not like that.”
Her eyes lowered and I felt her body tense against mine.
Worry coursed through me. “Allegra?” An unpleasant understanding dawned. “What … what age were you the first time you had sex?”
She sighed, the movement pushing her breasts into my chest. Finally, she looked at me. My gut knotted at the sadness I saw there. “I was fourteen.”
It might sound hypocritical considering I’d been a year younger, but I was shocked. I looked at kids now and realized how fucking young I was at thirteen. Just a child doing grown-up things no child should be doing. “Fourteen is young,” I offered gruffly, waiting for her to say more.
She lazily traced circles on my chest. “As soon as I got breasts, I started to notice that boys … and men”—her lip curled in disgust—“treated me differently. Boys at school. People who worked with my parents. They talked about how beautiful I was and how I was just like my mom. Looking me over, staring at my body in a way they shouldn’t.”
Anger burned hot through me and my grip on her back tightened. “I’m sorry.”
Allegra met my gaze. “Nothing really bad happened, but it scared me. Suddenly, I wasn’t being treated like a kid anymore, but I was still a kid. I was so scared of it all, but none of my friends seemed to be. They talked about sex like they were grown-ups. Looking back, I know now they were all bluster and trying to be cool. But back then, I thought there was something wrong with me because I wasn’t ready to feel that way about my body yet. I decided that the only way to not be afraid was to face my fear. That summer, Dad invited me to be on set of his movie. There were a few younger actors. One of them was seventeen and he was very attentive. So I had sex with him.”
I’d never have touched a fourteen-year-old when I was seventeen. In fact, I’d never even when I was fourteen. Despite my own young age, the girls I’d had sex with at that time had all been older. “Creep,” I snarled.
“Yeah, turned out he really was. And, of course, I didn’t get over my fear of being sexual, being seen as sexual. I just felt … used.” With a heavy sigh, Allegra rested her cheek on my chest again and I held her fast. I hated that for her. I hated that her entire teenage years had been such a fucking mess in general.
“The next time was with Dax. He’s Moira Reynolds’s son and he was my first real boyfriend. He dumped me when the paparazzi started following us. I thought I cared about him. I probably did as much as fourteen-year-old me could. Then Ashton. I did care about him.” Her voice shook a little as she spoke about him, and I knew no matter how much therapy or how much confiding she did, Allegra would always carry guilt over the boy.
“But he was the last person I had any real feelings for until you. Sex has just been sex … until you.” She rested her palm over my heart. “It used to drive me crazy that I wanted you so badly and you didn’t seem to want me back. People only see me as a pretty face, and I used to tell myself that it was okay, because at least they found something worthy about me, even if it was the way I looked, which I couldn’t take credit for. But you didn’t seem to want me for any reason … and I used to wonder what it was about me that you found so off-putting.” She chuckled, but I heard the hurt there. Even after the last week of me worshipping every inch of her, she was still hurt I’d kept my distance for five years.
A pang of regret scored across my chest. I touched her chin, forcing her to look at me. For her, I would be honest, even if it cost me something. “I stayed away because I knew that once with you would never be enough … and that I’d spend the rest of my life wanting someone I couldn’t have.”
Tears cast a wet sheen over her eyes. “Jared …”
“You are the most beautiful woman I’ve ever known … but you’re so much more than that. You walk into a room and you light it up. People gravitate toward you. And it’s not just because you’re easy on the eyes, baby. It’s because they feel your goodness and it makes them feel good too. You don’t judge. You’re always kind. You defend people you care about no matter what it costs. You’re a fierce, fierce sister and friend. And you’re so fucking talented, it blows my mind. And people see that in you, Allegra. I see that in you. I always have.”
“Jared.” She suddenly reached for me, her kiss hungry and desperate and it instantly ignited my own need.
I held on to her as I launched up off the couch. This time it was my turn and I wanted her in my bed so I could take her as hard and as deep as we both needed. Because I could feel this thing between us buzzing through our veins like electricity. Overwhelming. Too much.
It was too much.
It was possible devastation.
But I couldn’t have stopped myself from being with Allegra if the world depended upon it.
As we crashed down onto my bed, I powered into her, her now familiar cries of pleasure causing a hot zing through my blood.
“Mine,” I growled against her lips as I fucked her.
Her fingernails bit into my back as she arched into me and gasped, “Yours.”
“Yours.” The word was guttural but freely given back to her.
Joy suffused the physical pleasure on her face and her thighs tightened around my hips. “Mine.”