8. Durk
Durk
P lease Don’t Go
“Girl, stop stalling and let this fine man touch your body.”
My client cut her eyes at her big-mouth friend then looked at me.
“I’m sorry about my girl's rachet behavior. I probably like pussy as much as you, but this ho won’t respect that. I’m ready to get started.”
“Let’s do it.”
There were a lot of new faces in Eshu’s Ink thanks to our flash tattoo special. We weren’t hurting for cash or clients, but running the special allowed new clients the chance to check out our work at a lower rate.
“So, this is the reason you’re not answering the phone! I’ve been blowing you up for an hour!”
My head snapped to the front of the room where Clover stared at me with an expression as sharp as her tone. Her scowl was tight and conjured “oohs” and “aahs” from onlookers, which pissed me off. I hiked up my pants and bit down on the inside of my cheek to avoid saying the wrong thing.
“I’ll be right back,” I muttered to my client before I confronted Clover. “You walking around with a frown on your face. Do you need me to eat the attitude out of your pussy? Get into my office. Now!”
I followed her to the back room, barely giving her space to breathe.
“What the hell is wrong with you? The last time we spoke, you were at the doctor’s office.”
“Where should I start? First, I went to the doctor to get my IUD, and I find out I’m pregnant. Then I meet my mom and the ladies from the church, and things went left.” Her voice trembled the longer she ranted. “Do you want to know why?”
Fear crowded the air in my chest as a million thoughts ran through my mind.
Clover is pregnant. Did Barbara tell her about the bet?
“Clover. Baby.” Unable to stand the sight of my reflection in her eyes, my eyes hit the floor. “I don’t know what Barbara told you, but she’s on some spiteful shit.”
“Oh, so you already know what I’m talking about?” She scoffed. “Did you sleep with her before me, or are you currently sleeping with her?”
“No!” I barked. “I mean…I have, but I’m not anymore.”
Clover stomped toward the door then spun around. “What the hell, Durk? I asked you if you’ve ever slept with anyone that goes to that church, and you said no.”
“Don’t lie on me, Lucky. I didn’t say anything.”
“Same difference! You may not think your exes are my concern, but that’s not the case when yours is my kids’ Sunday school teacher.”
Knowing I was wrong, I raised my hands in a surrendering gesture. “You’re right. I didn’t think of it like that. Just know, I haven’t touched Barbara or anyone else since we slept together. What do I have to do to make it right, baby mama?”
Her twisted lips spread into a grin. “I may smile, but I’m still mad at you. The sweet talking won’t make me forget you let me serve cake to a woman you’ve served dick.”
I groaned as I fished through my pocket for a toothpick. “I know you’re pissed, but can we talk about you instead of that bitch? I can’t believe you’re having my baby, Lucky.”
She retrieved two black and white images from her purse and handed them to me.
I nodded as I inspected the picture, making a note of every detail. Out of the corner of my eye, I saw Clover reach for the doorknob. As fast as I could, I sped behind her and reached over her head and shut the door.
“Don’t run from me, Clover. I know you’re not feeling me, but talk to me. I want to know how you feel about the changes we’re about to experience.”
“I don’t really want to talk about my feelings right now, Durk. Just know I know my baby is a blessing. By the way, I’ll pass on the concert.” She shoved me back with her round cheeks and walked out the door.
“What the fuck? I already brought the tickets!” I called after her.
“Call Barbara! I’m sure she would love to go.”
I had to restrain myself from snatching her into a bear hug and begging Clover not to leave. She looked exhausted, and I didn’t want to add to the weight on her shoulders, especially when there was something else I had to tell her that may hurt heavier.
The church’s parking lot was full for a Wednesday, so I parked in a spot reserved for a church official. I didn’t have plans to be here long. Plus, the priority parking was perfect in case I needed to smash off.
Ishmael grunted in my passenger seat after I turned the car off. “Durk, what the hell are we doing at Mama Jo’s church? We’re supposed to be going to the clubhouse.”
“In a minute. I need to have a conversation with Barbara really quick.”
“Man, you’re going to hell for bringing this messy shit to the church.”
“Right now, I don’t give a fuck. Clover swears this lady didn’t open her mouth, but I don’t believe that shit. I told that old hag if she didn’t keep my name out of her mouth, I was going to create a problem. She should’ve listened.”
As soon as I was out of my truck, my legs swallowed the space between the parking lot and the church entrance. I followed the sound of praise and worship and ended up in the sanctuary. Most of the church folks sat on the first two pews, but me and Ishmael got comfortable in the back.
“If you show your ass, I’m calling your granny,” Ishmael whispered loud enough for me to hear.
“Luckily for you, I think they’re wrapping up.”
The pastor asked if anyone needed to be added to the prayer list, so I used the opportunity to garner attention. I slipped a toothpick from my mouth as I vacated my seat.
Pastor Williams smiled when we made eye contact. “All right now. I like to see a young man ask for what he needs. Go on and tell us what battle you’re putting in God’s hands.”
“First, I want to give honor to God…the people on the pulpit.”
“Amen.”
“Next, I want y’all to pray for my conflicted heart. I’ve been sleeping with Barbara Floyd, and I don’t know how I want to handle her jealousy. I don’t know if I should kill her or kill someone close to her.”
The congregation gossiped among themselves, and I heard Ishmael curse my name, yet I stood firm. Out of line or not, I felt no shame from my actions. Barbara accused me of being a clown, and now, her ass knew I was really the ringleader.
Barbara’s husband grimaced at her before he issued me the same menacing stare. “Boy, you’ve lost your mind coming in here with this mess. My wife would never let a thug like you climb on top of her.”
“You’re right.” I nodded. “Barbara liked for me to climb on top of her. Since she thought it was necessary to tell my lady, I think her man should know, too.”
Ishmael jumped from his seat and shoved me toward the door while repeating, “It’s time to go.”
“Man, I don’t want to hear that shit!” I yelled as I stepped outside. “People always say they’ll confront their enemies anywhere, but I really mean that shit. She’s the reason Clover isn’t fucking with me.”
“Nah. That’s not the reason.”
I spun around, ready to press the nosy commentator, but I recognized he was Clover’s father. He rested against the front gate of the church, smoking a cigarette and playing oldies on his phone. We exchanged a few words on Fellowship Day, but we hadn’t spoken since.
“My bad, O.G. I didn’t mean any disrespect.”
“You don’t need to apologize. Barbara is a petty bitch that needed to be called out.” He chuckled, easing the tightness in my chest. “If you’re man enough to call her out, take responsibility for the position you played in the mess. You should’ve been honest with Clover when she asked about your past.”
Though he was right, I still stood there stone-faced. I fucked up once, and Clover had tossed me back to the wolves like I had never been good to her. I knew she would be upset, but I didn’t think her disappointment would create distance that lasted nearly a week.
“My daughter’s admiration for you runs deep. You were the first man she didn’t dismiss for blinking wrong, and then you go and mess up. I had plans to kick your tall ass when I saw you, but I can see you’re already hurting,” he declared before he dapped me up and walked back into the church.
“You feel better now?” Ishmael asked in a sarcastic tone.
“Shut up before I leave you stranded.”
“Nigga, please. Don’t think too highly of yourself. I have enough money to go anywhere in the world.”
When we pulled up to The Sons of Eshu’s clubhouse, I had every intention of eating and getting drunk off my ass. That idea was shattered once I walked into the brick building and saw everybody had their lady by their side. I loved The Ladies of Eshu — as they called themselves, but I wasn’t in the mood to listen or see them fawn over their partner when mine wasn’t fucking with me.
I should’ve gone home after leaving my folks, but I stopped at a liquor store before detouring to Clover’s neck of the woods. From the end of the block, I noticed there was an empty spot directly in front of her house, so I gulped down a mouthful of brown liquor and slid into the vacancy. Like a baby fresh off the tit, a calmness wrapped around my body now that I was closer to her.
For at least an hour, I sipped from my bottle and enjoyed the playlist Clover made before our trip to Ventress. The love songs made me think of her while the heartbreak classics made me think about the bet. I didn’t know how I would tell her, but I concluded I would. We were already in a bad place, and if I let someone else come to her with my truth, she may never forgive me. The sound of my cell phone going off interrupted my pity party.
Lucky: Go home, Destin.
My heart dropped seeing her name across my screen for the first time in days.
Can we talk? A week without you has been too long. I messaged her back.
Lucky: There’s nothing to talk about.
We’re having a baby.
She messaged back a crying face. I didn’t know if her response reflected how she felt or what she was doing. Either way, it caused a knot to form in my chest.
Can I hold you?
Lucky: The door is open.
“Durk, wake up! Wake up!”
I struggled to open my eyes, but the second water saturated my face, my body came to life.
“What the fuck?” I popped up, adjusting my eyes to my surroundings. “Clover, you’ve been pregnant for two seconds, and you’re already in beast mode!”
“Stop talking!” she yelled, pulling her phone out of her robe pocket and forcing it in my face. I could hardly read the words, but I recognized it was an Instagram message.
“What am I supposed to be looking at?”
“I received a private message this morning. It sounded like you were having a conversation with your cousins.” She shut her eyes. “Did our relationship start because of a bet, Destin?”
Shame crumpled my spine, but I pushed through and squared my shoulders. “Clover. That’s not true—it’s not the whole truth.” I reached for her, but she backed away like I had a contagious sickness. “Please, give me the chance to explain.”
“Go ahead! You don’t need to touch me to talk!”
“Yes, I do! That’s the only way I know you’re still with me,” I declared. “A week after we met at the karaoke bar, my cousins were on my case about being—”
“A ho?” she spat.
I chuckled, thrown off by her choice of words. “If that’s what you want to call it.”
“That’s exactly what you’d call it if you were a woman.”
I released a heavy exhale though my nostrils. “They bet me I couldn’t date one woman for ninety days. The catch was I couldn’t sleep with her before day thirty.”
“This is unbelievable. We just got over the Barbara thing,” she whispered as a glimmer of unshed tears appeared in the curves of her eyes. “I can’t believe I thought you were real. That this was real.”
“Clover, I know you’re pissed. You have every right to be upset, but you’re pregnant with my baby. Ain’t shit fake about that, and it doesn’t go away because you’re in your feelings.”
“What feelings? Everything about our relationship makes me question my feelings for you. How do I know you would’ve taken me seriously if there wasn’t money on the line?”
“Because I still fucked with you after I fucked you,” I confessed without thinking. “Wait. I didn’t mean—”
“None of it!” She snarled in disgust. “I never thought you were the type of man who would do anything for money.”
“I’m not pressed about money! Had I won, I would’ve given you the bread.”
“Screw that! All I wanted was you!”
My head snapped back. “Wanted? So, everything we’ve done, all the time we’ve spent together, none of it matters, Lucky? We’re better than this.”
“No, we’re not. The man I met almost four months ago was brutally honest. He wouldn’t do something as desperate as bet on a woman.”
“I wasn’t betting on you. I was betting on me!”
Her lips quivered as she muttered, “Well, I hope the reward was worth breaking my heart.”
I pressed my fists into my forehead and groaned. “Stop making it seem like I used you. Did you forget you jumped on my dick? I didn’t force you to do shit.”
“Did you have any plans on telling me about the bet?” she asked, ignoring what I said.
As I shook my head, Clover’s bottom lip sagged. I hated to disappoint her, but I couldn’t lie to her. Not again.
“Destin, if you don’t see how foul it is to date me, knowing it’s motivated by money, you’re a damn fool.”
“Don’t get disrespectful, Clover.”
“Shut up and get out of my house!” She gave me her back. “I’ll be in contact with you about my next appointment.”
I wanted to fight her on it. I wanted to tell her how much I loved her. I also knew Clover deserved the space she asked for.
Once I dragged myself to my car, I checked my phone and saw I had missed three calls from my grandmother. Since I knew why she was calling, I thought to wait to call her back, but there was no sense in avoiding the conversation.
“What’s up, Mama Jo?” I tried to sound nonchalant.
“Destin Buttah Sharpe! Have you lost your fucking mind going up to the church with your ghetto shit?”
I freed a deep breath. “It wasn’t as bad as you think.”
“Don’t test me, boy! Where are you at right now?”
“Leaving Clover’s house. Shit is all bad, Mama Jo.”
I told her what went down and noticed the way my voice cracked as I spoke.
Mama Jo’s labored breaths turned into soft sighs. “Buttah, I think it’s time you give her some space.”
“I don’t want to.” I grimaced. “I’ve been under this woman every day for months. The only time we were apart was when she found out about Barbara. Where the hell am I supposed to go?”
“That’s something for you to figure out. Clover is pregnant. Stress isn’t good for her or baby.”
I scoffed. “Who knows? That’s probably not—Never mind. Let me stop.”
“Yeah, because you’re about to say some stupid shit.”
“Players fuck up too,” I commented. “I understand why Clover’s upset, but it’s not like I left her hanging. We slept together before we ever went on a date. If I was using her, I would’ve left her alone after that.”
“Durk, cut the shit. No matter how you shape it, you were deceitful. Be man enough to admit that without making excuses.”
My head collided with the headrest once she hung up on me. If the shoe was on the other foot, I would’ve questioned everything about Clover. I would’ve accused her of holding onto other secrets I didn’t know about. She wasn’t wrong for cutting me off. It just hurt like hell.