Epilogue
C lover
Before I Met You
The boys raced to Durk’s truck while he and I walked hand in hand behind them. Fear of starting over with a new baby had me in a funk for months, but today was a good day. My little one stopped hiding their face after multiple ultrasounds, and my sons got the chance to experience another milestone in our family. As soon as we got in the car, Durk faced Tatum, wearing a silly grin.
“What did I tell you? I knew we were having a girl. Now, you got to pay up, kid!”
“Man, didn’t you already get in trouble for betting?”
Durk sucked his teeth. “Don’t turn into a snitch because you lost. You owe me fifty pushups when we get home.”
Home .
We didn’t live together, but we built a sanctuary wherever we lay our heads once the sun went down. Even though I was seven months pregnant, I was on the fence about moving into Durk’s house. Anytime I thought about making the move, the thought of my kids’ stability made me doubt myself. Durk had become an important part of their lives, but we were still getting to know each other. My friends swore it was too late to slow down since I was a couple of months away from having his baby, yet I didn’t care how it sounded. The unconventional dynamic worked for us.
“You guys are happy about the gender, and I’m happy she showed her face. The doctor refused to do another ultrasound.” I giggled. “At least we know she isn’t a ham like her daddy.”
“Wow. You’re calling me conceited, but you’re the one with a viral maternity shoot everywhere. I ain’t mad. I stay in the comment sections letting niggas know your man is crazy.”
My eyes did a lap around my head, but Durk’s protective nature was one of my favorite things about him.
A few months ago, Stony took beautiful pictures of me that ended up going viral. Thanks to her skills, I received contracts from companies like Fenty, who sent me exclusive pieces from the maternity line they were launching in a few months. Sometimes, I couldn’t believe how much my platform had grown in such a short time, but I didn’t take it for granted. I also loved how Durk supported and encouraged me to go harder. If he had it his way, I would quit my job and become a full-time content creator.
“Buttah, have you thought about what I asked you last night?”
“Yeah. We’re headed to the cemetery right now.”
“Not that.” I groaned. “The other thing.”
He smacked his lips and gripped the steering wheel. “I thought about it. I still don’t know how I feel about it. Godparents step up when the birth parents aren’t around. I don’t like planning for the worst.”
I pushed air from my nostrils to keep from saying things to dismiss his feelings. “Baby, I understand. I just—”
“I would say Shiloh and Stevie, but they have enough kids,” he interjected.
“Okay. What about Essen? She would make a great godmom.”
“Yeah,” he muttered as if in deep thought. “Her and Ishmael would do well together.”
I snickered at something he said often. A blind man could see Ishmael and Essen were close, but their connection seemed platonic. Maybe Durk knew something I didn’t.
“Let me think about the godparents, Lucky. Once we pick them, I’ll have to plan the christening. After our baby shower, I need a minute.”
I cut my eyes at the party planner. “Goodness, can I plan anything? You’ve been taking over my entire pregnancy.”
“Don’t do that, mama. You love that shit.”
My pouty lips spread into a goofy smile. “You know I do. I love the way you take care of me.”
“In that case, call the school and tell them you aren’t returning after maternity leave.”
“You must be crazy. I’m a mother. It’s my responsibility to keep income coming into the house. It’s also my job to keep something in motion in case you need me to take the lead. You aren’t the only one that can run shit.”
Durk cracked up at my comeback. “Oh, shit. Baby Lucky is almost here, and Mama talking heavy.”
“Baby Lucky,” I repeated. “I’m still not over the way you give this little girl my name.”
“I mean, we can always name her Destiny or Durkisha.”
Tatum popped his head toward the front of the car from the backseat. “No the hell we can’t.”
I cut my eyes at the smart ass. “Boy! If I tell you to watch your mouth one more time, I’m going to slap you in it. Show respect.”
“Yes, ma’am.” He sulked.
“Now, back to what I was saying,” I muttered. “I love the name Lucky. I tease you about it, but I love the idea of my baby being named after me. I think it’s a testament to the way we feel about her—our good luck charm.”
We vibed to music and laughed at the banter between the boys until we pulled into the cemetery. The silence that swept through the car made me reach for Durk’s hand. This was the first time I visited the sacred place since I met the man I would love until my final day. I liked to believe Calvin would be happy that I found a man who loved me and his kids, but knowing how possessive he used to be, I knew it was wishful thinking.
“Durk, I know I said it before, but I really appreciate you for doing this. I know this may be awkward,” I commented while clutching his hand.
“If I had a problem with it, I wouldn’t be here. I know it’s important to Snoop and Dre, so I’m with it. I know my place in your life.” He unbuckled my seatbelt. “Go do your thang, and come back to me. Your hellraisers left Nerf bullets all over my yard, so we’re going to my spot after this.”
Pierce sucked his teeth. “Don’t blame us. Those belong to you!”
“It doesn’t matter. We shoot together; we pick up together.”
I gently slapped his shoulder amidst their back and forth. “Listen to you. You’re putting your foot down instead of letting them do whatever they want.”
“I mean, they can still do what they want. They just have to clean up behind themselves.”
Durk
Mama Jo would have a fit if she saw me smoking at a graveyard, but I had to calm my nerves. Though I played it cool about bringing Clover and the twins to visit her baby daddy, I felt uneasy and needed a stress reliever.
From afar, I watched the trio add flowers on the nigga’s grave. They didn’t appear sad, which made me feel better about the visit. Today was supposed to be about celebrating our family, not mourning.
My phone vibrated in my pocket, and I smiled at seeing my twin’s name on the screen.
“What’s up, Mercy?”
“Don’t play. You know why I’m calling!”
“Damn, you not going to ask me how I’m doing first?” I joked before saying, “It’s a girl.”
The words left my lips, instantly making my heart swell. Deep down, I believed God was giving me a second chance at being a girl dad after being played.
“I know you’re happy, Durk. Mama and Mama Jo are going to be hyped! Are you going to name her Durkisha?”
“You know it!” I clowned.
“Oh, Lord. Where are you now? I want to rub Clover’s belly.”
“That’s weird, and we’re at the cemetery.”
“What the hell? For what?”
I sighed. “Every year, Clover brings the twins here on their daddy’s birthday and Father’s Day.”
“And you went with them? Talk about maturing. You’re putting your family before your pride. I’m proud of you. For a second, I thought you lost it all after you went up to that church showing your ass.”
I smiled, recalling how the incident happened months ago, yet Mama Jo mentioned it every time we spoke. She banned me from her house until I called the pastor and apologized, and even then, my grandmother gave me a hard time.
“What’s going on at the good church?” I asked just to make conversation.
“Well, it came out you weren’t the only young tender Barbara was sleeping with. I don’t think her husband cares enough. He’s still with her.”
“An old ho.” I scoffed. “I’m not surprised. Her husband called, asking questions about my time with his wife. I told his lovesick ass to ask his bitch.”
I tossed my half-smoked blunt onto a patch of gravel then turned my attention to my family. My knees got weak, and my vision got blurry seeing a familiar woman talking to Clover.
Kehlani?
I hadn’t seen her in years, but I could spot the heartbreaker in any room. She gained weight and didn’t appear as put together as I remember, but I could tell by her red curls and bright complexion it was her.
“Durk!” Mercy shouted. “Answer me! Is everything okay?”
“Mercy, why the fuck is Kehlani up here?”
“Wow. Maybe she’s visiting her family.”
“Kehlani doesn’t have family,” I argued. “Why the hell is she talking to Clover?”
“I don’t know, but don’t go over there acting an ass. You’ll go to jail for wrecking shit at a graveyard.”
“I’m not afraid of going to jail. Luckily for Kehlani, the boys are here, so I can’t do too much.”
“Does she have the baby with her?”
I ran my tongue over my teeth. “She’s by herself.”
“Damn, this is crazy. Did you ever run into her baby daddy after the drama at the hospital?”
Flashbacks of my past caused me to shift my weight from one foot to the other.
“Nah, but I heard he crossed the wrong one and lost his life. Let me call you back. They’re walking to the truck.”
Clover waited until the boys were out of earshot before she released a shaky breath. “Apparently, that was Calvin’s baby mama. She claims he got her pregnant a month after he got home from jail.”
My eyes caught the ground when I asked, “Do you believe her?”
“At first, I didn’t. She called him Cowboy, so I assumed she made a mistake. But when she started name dropping his family members and repeating stories I know to be true, I knew there was some truth to what she was saying.”
“Damn, that’s crazy,” was all I said since it felt like my throat was closing.
“It is crazy, but I’m not worried about it. She says she’s been struggling with drugs since Calvin’s death. She even lost their daughter to the system. I think I should be upset, but I feel bad for her.”
“Don’t. She needs to take her burdens to the cross, not lay them on your doorstep.” I reached out and caressed her belly. “I don’t want you to worry about this. We have a daughter we need to bring into this world safe and sound. Everything else can wait.”
“That’s something we can agree on.”
I helped Clover into her seat and kissed her forehead before I closed the passenger door. Worry made my legs heavy, but I made it to the other side of the car without hitting the ground. The night I murked Cowboy, it was a kill-or-be-killed situation. I had heard he was looking for me after I knocked him out at the hospital, so I caught the slob at a gas station in his hood. Kehlani reached out a few times, accusing me of knocking off her baby daddy, but I didn’t give her the satisfaction of offering an answer. It never crossed my mind that the man I killed would have ties to the next woman I fell in love with.
As my fingers touched the door handle, something in my gut urged me to look over my shoulder. Kehlani resembled a mannequin, staring in my direction, yet her eyes grew wide when I smiled at her. When her mouth dropped open, I placed my thumb up to my neck and ran it across my Adam’s apple. I may not have confessed to killing Calvin or Cowboy or whatever his name was, but Kehlani knew. She also knew I would send her to meet that nigga in hell if she opened her mouth or contacted my lady.
“Baby, are you all right?” Clover quizzed as I started the car.
Slowly, I faced her, hoping my guilt didn’t shift my expression. Should I have told her? Maybe. Did I tell her? No. I couldn’t even imagine the words to say. From my understanding, Clover lost herself and lost her family after her dude died. I may go to hell for never telling her about my connection to Calvin, but in the meantime, I would enjoy heaven on earth with Clover.
“Destin, I’m serious. What’s wrong?”
“I’m straight, mama. For real. As long as I have you and our cubs, I’m straight for life,” I replied while fingering the ice around her neck. “Your new drip looks good on you. Maybe we can talk about a ring next.”
Pierce cleared his throat. “You need our blessings first.”
“As long as you get Money Bagg to perform at the wedding, I don’t have a problem with it,” Tatum added.
Clover snickered as she shook her head. “Really? You’re willing to give me away that easy?”
“Yeah. I know you’re in good hands, Mama.”