10. Durk
Durk
O n Bended Knee
A month had gone by since my world turned upside down. Clover and I spoke a few times a week, but she didn’t entertain a conversation about us getting back together. No number of flowers, food, or kissing ass made her forgive me. The church chaos really made her push me away. She was embarrassed that I cut up in front of people who had known her most of her life. I didn’t think about that part before I planned to ruin Barbara’s day.
“Oh, you brought out the ’Vette today, huh?”
I grinned at the security guard as I slid my hand over the candy paint. “It’s light work.” I pointed to the entrance of my shop. “How are things going in there?”
“I’ve had to turn a few people around because they tried to come inside with no papers. Otherwise, shit has been smooth.”
I tossed my half-smoked blunt in the street. “Bet. Remember what I said. If they don’t have an invitation, they don’t get in.”
“I got you, Durk.”
On a regular day, I would never turn a client away. Nevertheless, one of my tattoo artists asked if they could host their birthday party at Eshu’s Ink. The party was a private event, and the guest list had thirty people. No matter how much I fucked with my staff, I wouldn’t get a citation because his cheap ass didn’t want to rent out a club.
I walked through the front door and felt like the man when I received praise from people scattered around the building. After the photographer snapped a few pictures of me, I went upstairs to check the vibes. I saw a few members of The Sons of Eshu playing pool, but I put on my sunglasses and found a seat in a corner.
“Excuse me,” I called out to a server. “Can I get a double shot of Don?”
She nodded. “I got you.”
I went back to stalking Clover’s social media pages, hoping I would find proof of her getting ready for the night.
“Why are you in the corner on your emo tip?”
I smiled at the sound of my sister’s voice. “I’m chilling. What are you doing up here?”
“Joc invited me,” she answered while tilting over and glancing at my phone. “You miss her, huh?”
“More than I can put into words. I thought I would be over it after a month.” I shook my head. “The shit still hurts. I’m not even looking for the person who told on me anymore. It feels pointless if Clover won’t take me back.”
“I’m happy that you’ve realized that. Now , you’re taking accountability.”
The server walked over and handed me the drink I ordered. I dug in my pocket for her tip, but Mercy stopped me.
“I got it, twin. I think you need someone to do something nice for you.”
I downed a few swigs of my drink and grimaced at the burn. With the way I hurt Clover, I deserved to feel the pain. Every night I went to sleep, I pictured the way her bottom lip sagged when I acknowledged I fucked up. Disappointment painted her face, driving me to feel like scum anytime I recalled the conversation.
“I invited her and Karlie to the party,” I declared.
“Good. If you’re serious about getting your ol’ lady back, never stop trying,” she said in a faraway tone. “Enjoy yourself. She’ll show up.”
I glanced up at my twin and accepted the blunt she guided in my direction.
“I don't think she will. The party started hours ago.”
“Maybe she couldn’t get a babysitter—”
As the words hit the surface, I spotted Clover stroll up the stairs. Karlie was close by, but the spotlight swallowed the brown skin hottie with the silk press. It broke my heart seeing how different she looked because it confirmed I didn’t see her enough. She was over four months pregnant, and her bump was noticeable.
“What’s up, mama?” I asked as I approached her. “I’m happy you showed up.”
She plastered on a toothless smile.
“No problem. We were in the neighborhood. Plus, I figured I could get some good content.”
Karlie snickered. “Girl, please. Tell this man you missed him.”
Clover’s eyes bucked wide as she elbowed her friend. Instead of calling Clover out for putting on an act, I asked if she needed anything.
“I’m good, Durk. We’re not staying long. We have dinner reservations around the corner.”
“Damn.” I caught a fake laugh in my fist. “So, you just used me to kill time?”
She snarled. “Now, you know what it feels like. Fair exchange ain’t robbery.”
Her lingering disgust poured through her tone. Although I was in the doghouse, I wasn’t a punching bag. I didn’t want to exchange insults with her. She was mad. I was wrong. But, no matter what, we would be tied to each other for life.
“All right.” I huffed. “I don’t want to interrupt your night. Behave and enjoy yourself.”
“Behave? Durk, please. We aren’t together.”
My brows latched together on the ends.
“We’re together forever.”
“No, we’re having a baby. That’s where it starts and ends.” She smirked, but it didn’t reach her eyes. “At least this time, you know the baby belongs to you.”
I grimaced, gutted her mean-spirited comment.
“If you said that to hurt my feelings, you succeeded.”
“I said it because it’s true. That’s something you know nothing about.”
Clover stormed off before I could reply, and Karlie eyed me with pity-filled eyes before she followed her friend. I only attended the party because I hoped she would pop up, and less than ten minutes of being in the building, Clover ran away from me. I thought to follow her lead and exit the premises, yet going home alone would leave me too much time to think.
A few hours and a few drinks later, I was back in my corner with Lola’s fat ass in my lap and a blunt hanging out of my mouth. The doe eyed redbone hopped on my dick a few years ago, and apparently, her friend received an invite to Joc’s party. Clover wasn’t fucking with me, and she damn sure wasn’t giving me no pussy. I didn’t have the desire to fuck another one, but I could appreciate the sensation of a fat ass in my hands.
“Durk, you rubbing up on me. What happened to that girl you posted on I.G a few months ago?”
“She’s not here!” I snapped. “But you are. Shake that ass and stop worrying about the next woman.”
“I can do more than shake some ass if take me home.”
I only waited a moment before I rose to my feet and pulled the brown-skinned honey bun toward the exit.
“Nigga, what are you doing?” Joc stared at me between drunken eyes. “That bitch ain’t worth the trouble. You’re going to regret this in the morning.”
“No, I won’t. In the morning, Clover still won’t fuck with me, and I’ll still be planning to be a single father. Make sure everything in my shop stays in order, or I’m on your ass.”
“I got you, Durk. Thanks again for letting me have the party here! This shit has been lit!”
“No problem. Remember what I said.”
I roped my arm around Lola’s neck and led her through the crowd.
From the moment we got in my car, she had her hands on me. I didn’t mind the affection since I hadn’t received any in a while, yet her aggressive nature was too much.
“Damn, baby. Slow down. You gon’ feel this dick in the back of your throat soon enough.” I pushed her back into her seat.
“Sorry,” she sang. “I just missed you. For a second, I thought you were serious about ol’ girl. You proved me wrong.”
Annoyance tightened the muscles in my face. “I didn’t prove shit. Clover is still my lady, and you’re still a lady I dick down when I feel like it. Don’t forget your place.”
She giggled like I said something that tickled her heart. “Whatever. I don’t want to spend our time talking about her. I just want some dick.”
Lola caressed my thigh, and the side of my face until we pulled up to her apartment complex. Dope boys and addicts loitered in front of the rundown building, reminding me of how I had to be on guard while in Lola’s presence.
“Why are you looking paranoid, Durk? Park in the handicap spot. Nobody will touch your car.”
I looked at her like she’d hit a line of dope.
“Okay. Pull into stall seventeen. That’s my homegirl’s spot,” she professed. “Hurry up! I’m ready to feel that dick then show you these sexy ass boots I want you to buy me.”
A scowl cut across my face so deep I could feel it pierce my skin.
“That’s what you think this is, Lola?”
“Are you telling me it’s not? There isn’t a woman alive that’s going to give you good pussy without expecting something in return.”
“You’s a lie!” I spat. “But I’m not even mad at you. I’ve been a trick a time or two, but I’m cool on that. What do I look like buying a bitch diamonds before I lace my daughter with the best?”
Lola crossed her arms over her chest. “Stop acting like you don’t have enough money to do both.”
“I’m going to see you around, Lola.”
“What? You can’t be serious? You’re leaving because I ask you to spend money on me?”
“I'm leaving because I don’t have no business being here.”
As soon as she got out the car and slammed my door, I increased the volume of my music and sped off with no idea of where I was going. It was too early to go to the strip club, and if I went to the clubhouse, my folks would want to talk about my feelings.
Amid Neyo singing about being sick of love songs, someone called and interrupted my music. The number wasn’t stored in my phone, but a knot in my gut caused me to answer.
“Who is this?” I answered.
“Dookie Durk?”
I chuckled at the shit talker. “Whatchu want, scrub?”
“I want to catch a fade. I don’t like how you hurt my mama.”
Perplexed, I straightened up in my seat. “What?”
“You heard me. When she left earlier, she was in a good mood. Now, she’s crying. I know it’s your fault.”
It wasn’t my place to tell Tatum about our business, but I wouldn’t insult his intelligence and pretend things weren’t rough between me and his mom. I hadn’t seen him or his twin in over a month, but I whupped his ass in Madden anytime he challenged me.
“I’m not gone lie, Tatum. I’m on your mom’s shit list because I was dishonest.”
“Did you cheat or hit her?”
“Hell no!” I countered. “I love your mama too much for that.”
“Then I think you should fix things between y’all. I’ll leave her key in the mailbox.”
“Hold up, T. I don’t—”
He hung up before I could tell him I didn’t think it was a good idea. But, on second thought, there was no way Tatum would call me if he didn’t think Clover needed me.
In the middle of the street, I slammed on my brakes then busted a U-turn. Clover rubbed me the wrong way when she showed up at Joc’s party, but she couldn’t run me away. Her attitude stemmed from my deceit, so I knew I had to take her rejection on the chin until I couldn’t breathe.
Just like Tatum said the key to their house were in the mailbox. I knocked on the door a few times, being careful not to spook Clover if she was in the living room, but I got no answer. The only sound I heard once I pushed the door open came from the twins’ game system.
Quietly, I hiked up the stairs and traveled to Clover’s room. Her bedroom was open, so I had a clear view of her. The television was on, but she wasn’t watching it. For a few seconds, I contemplated if I should say something or go to her, yet the sound of her sniffles triggered my feet to move. I stepped out of my shoes, placed my jewelry and pistol on the nightstand, then climbed into bed with Clover. She didn’t seem surprised when I slipped my arm around her body. Instead, she placed her hand over mine and released a deep exhale.
“What are you doing here, Durk?”
“I’m faded. I missed you.”
“Hmm. How did you get in?”
I snorted out a laugh while saying,
“The homie helped me.”
“The homie my ass. Tatum has been pacing the hall for an hour. I know he’s your accomplice.”
“Give him a break. He was worried about his mama,” I admitted. “How’s my baby doing?”
“The baby is fine. Morning sickness is still kicking my behind at all hours of the day, but aside from that, I’m good.” A heavy silence passed through the room. “The awkward silence is killing me, Durk.”
I pulled Clover back and held her onto her like she was a safety blanket. “Then let me fill the space with some real shit. I’m sorry I hurt your feelings. I’m sorry for being dishonest. I’m sorry for making you cry, Lucky. On my life, I haven’t slept with Barbara in months, and I didn’t date you to win the bet. Do you hear me?”
“Yes.” Her voice trembled as she spoke. “And I want to believe you. I’m just afraid of how much it’ll hurt to forgive you then find out more secrets later.”
“There aren’t any other secrets. I should’ve ended the bet and told you about it as soon as I realized I didn’t want to let you go.”
Clover rolled over and faced me. The light from the TV highlighted her tear-stained cheeks.
“So, why didn’t you, Durk?”
My heartbeat doubled as I confessed. “I was...scared.”
“You? Scared of something? That’s hard to believe.”
“I fear a lot, Lucky. I’m scared of losing you. I’m afraid of not being around to see my baby born. I’m fearful I won’t be a good role model for the twins. Despite all that, my fears aren’t bigger than the faith I have in us. I love you, mama. That’s real.”
“Prove it.”
There was a smug cadence in her tone, but I got up without saying a word. I could feel Clover watching me as I turned on the lamp next to her bed.
“Durk, what are you—”
I flopped down beside her and pointed to the ink saturated into my collarbone.
“Oh, my God!” she yelled then quickly cuffed her hand over her mouth. “What did you do, Destin?”
“I tatted your name so you know it’s real.”
The sensation of her short nails running down my flesh made me shut my eyes. It had been too long since I was on the receiving end of her affection.
“Durk, I love the tattoo, but it doesn’t prove your love for me.”
“I’m a tattoo artist. In my world, that’s exactly what it means.” I grasped her hand and placed a kiss on top. “But if you need more assurance, I’m willing to spend the rest of my life showing you this is real. Ain’t nothing fake about our relationship or the family we’re building. You hear me?”
“I hear you.”
I leaned forward and rested my forehead against hers. “Do you feel me?”
“I feel you.”