Chapter Sixty-Three
Twenty-Eight Years Later
As the twenty-one-gun salute sounds, I search the crowd for the one person I hoped and dreaded to see here, but Jensen was nowhere to be seen. He hadn’t shown at the wake, during the service, and now at the grave. Something in my gut twists, a sixth sense I have been trying to ignore for years. A feeling that tells me—screams at me—there’s a reason Jensen isn’t here.
Jensen wouldn’t have missed this. This is Wyhtt, his best friend, his brother. Nothing could have happened to end the type of brotherhood they shared; that type of bond never dies. Wyhtt would have walked through fire for Jensen. Wyhtt kept every secret, went to physical war to be at his side and continued to fight the war that was trapped inside his brother for years. Nothing, nothing in this fucking world would have ended that relationship. They were unshakable.
Unease takes over as I look around again, memorizing the faces and taking note of everyone I used to call a friend. Faces from a long-lost childhood and people who I hadn’t spoken with in decades. People who Wyhtt still called a neighbor, a friend, and a loved one. They are all here.
Why are they here, but he isn’t?
Panic mixes with the grief of never seeing Wyhtt again, not to mention guilt. Even though Wyhtt distanced himself from me all those years ago, I knew he was staying loyal to Jensen. It was just as much on me as it was on him for our friendship fading over the years. We only kept tabs on one another through social media or accidentally running into one each other on holiday breaks with our now grown children.
I wish I could go back to those moments and hold him tighter. I want to go back and memorize the intense green eyes of his, and how he always looked at me with admiration. How much he loved me, and how he only ever wanted me to find happiness before his heart betrayed him. His family’s heart condition passed down to him, stealing him away from us in his peaceful sleep just a handful of nights ago. What I would give to hear his voice one last time. . .
I shake my head, trying to shake off the feeling of the unknown that still lingers from all these years ago. I didn’t come to see Jensen anyway. I came for Wyhtt, his wife, and their beautiful children. To celebrate the life we will all mourn. I have to push Jensen out of my mind, at least for now. He made his choice almost thirty years ago, and it wasn’t my concern or business to know where he was now. My only concern is saying goodbye to Wyhtt—my friend, and my brother—as he’s laid to rest with the honor and respect he deserves.
I watch as they lower him into the ground. Everyone has sad smiles on as they speak of his humor and his loyalty. They speak about how the world will miss his charm and snarky remarks. As if at once, we all know this will be the first of many funerals we will start to attend in the coming years. One by one, the group starts to disband, saying a final goodbye to Wyhtt and whispering their sorrows and prayers to his wife and kids.
I am the only one left standing as they cover his casket in dirt, one shovel full at a time as to not disrupt all the other men and women who had served and had been laid to rest here. It is a beautiful grave. A beautiful, peaceful place to spend eternity, I think just as someone comes up behind me.
“Grayson!” I almost squeal with delight before pulling him into a hug. “What a sight for sore eyes.”
“I hate to see you under these circumstances, Serena, but it is so good to see you,” he whispers in my ear as he squeezes me tight enough I can’t breathe for a moment.
“Grayson,” I choke out, “I can’t breathe. Unless you are ready for me to meet Wyhtt so soon, maybe you can release me.”
“Fuck!” Grayson chuckles with a lifted brow. “That was dark.”
“What? Too soon?” I let out a hollow laugh. “I think he would have laughed, so it’s okay.”
“Dumb bastard probably would have, I’ll miss him.” he responds, his voice thick.
“I know you will. I am so sorry, Grayson.” I say, stepping back to take him in.
“Ah, what can you do? Death comes for all of us sooner or later. While I am not ready to die tomorrow or even next week, when my time comes I’ll greet death with open arms. I will be ready to raise hell with my brothers again. They might kick us all out of heaven straight down to hells gate once we are reunited. You know?"
Silence falls between us as his words settle over me. He was talking about his brothers— plural—as if they are both already gone. I watch him take in the scenery of the grave site. The place he would one day be laid to peace at.
“Grayson,” I whisper, a tear already slipping down my cheek as the sixth sense rears it’s ugly head again. Something inside me is begging not to ask. It is better to live in ignorance another day. But before I can stop myself, the words are slipping from my trembling lips. “What do you mean brothers?”
The look of shock and horror rolls over his expression, as if he’s just now realizing what he has said.
“Serena,” he starts gently, as if he was talking to an injured animal. Trying to calm and soothe the creature before it acts out against whoever’s trying to save it.
“What do you mean, Grayson?” I almost shout, trying to keep my temper in place, but my whole body is already betraying me. As if my body had known all these years, but my heart and brain are just now processing.
“I am so fucking sorry, Serena. I thought you knew by now. I wasn’t thinking, I was thinking of Wyhtt and how they are together again. Serena, you’re shaking. Are you okay? I mean I know you aren’t okay obviously, but are you okay? You look sick.”
As he speaks, my legs go out from under me. He tries to catch me, but my knees crash into the damp grass covered by morning dew before I start hurling my guts up. When I look up, he is pulling me into him, sweeping my hair back in case I started to vomit again.
“Serena, listen to me.” I try to pull away, to move as far away from him as I could, as if moving away would stop the words I knew were about to leave his mouth. The words that would change everything I thought I knew, or at least assumed. Before I can move an inch he tightens his hold on me, lifting me until I’m almost in his lap, forcing my gaze to meet his tear-filled eyes. “Serena! Stop, listen to me . . . ”
“No, please.” I choke out the words between sobs that shake my entire body. “Ple—plea—please don’t say it. If you say what I think you are about to say, I don’t know if I can survive. It will my funeral you attend next. Do you fucking understand?” The sobs continue to shake my body so violently, my teeth begin to chatter, as if any bit of warmth in my body has left. As if my body is preparing to go meet Jensen in the cold grave right then and there. “Don’t Grayson . . . ” The sobs take over before I can beg him to not speak again.
“He’s gone. He’s been gone for a very long time now. I’m not sure how you didn’t find out until now. I never thought his plan would work, not this long at least. I need you to breathe, though. Now, Serena! Look at me, do what I do. Take one big breath for me, hold it. Count with me in your mind, one pause, two pause, three pause, release. Good girl—damn. The glare you just gave me for saying that, tells me you are still in there somewhere. So, again. Hold . . . breathe . . . good.” He repeats the breathing exercise several more times. “Are you okay?”
If anyone were to see me, they would see nothing but a crumpled wreck. Utterly destroyed and whimpering in Grayson’s hold on the ground of a freshly dug grave. Anyone would have assumed I was Wyhtt’s now widowed wife and not his chosen little sister.
“Wyhtt!” I shout, now full of burning rage. The look on Grayson’s face says it all. He thinks I’ve snapped and that I’m not processing what I’ve just been told. Before he can clarify and send me into another fit of me choking on my own tears I ask, “Did Wyhtt know?”
The look of pity he gives me is almost as bad as the news he has accidentally shared. “Yes.”
“‘Yes’?” I snap. “That’s all you have to say?”
“What else would you like me to say? I don’t believe knowing all the details is going to help you or make a difference other than break another piece of you. It was decades ago.” Grayson tries to reason.
“It wasn’t long ago to me, damn it! To me, he just died. To me I just lost both men who shaped me into the woman I am now. How fucking long ago, Grayson? I don’t understand how I wasn’t informed. Why didn’t either of you tell me? I deserved to know! Why would you all do this to me?”