Chapter 1
1
A boisterous cheer erupts in the ballroom as the happy mated trio exchange kisses, flushed and love-drunk on each other.
I down the rest of my fizzy amber cocktail to hide my grimace, then politely clap along with the rest of the party guests. The parade of mated bliss has dragged on for almost two whole day and night cycles, and that’s only including the events where friends are encouraged to attend.
Two cycles of watching my friends as they recited words of devotion, shared their hopes for the future, and even bathed in a pool of water gathered from a Goddess-blessed spring back on Nexxa Itat. I was thankful to be in the back of the crowd for that one—watching the three of them washing each other’s bodies up close would’ve been a bit too much for me to handle.
Honestly, I’m not entirely sure why I’m here. Eden, the human in this mated group, isn’t a close friend. I’m sure she only wanted me in attendance because I helped her skip past the red tape typically involved with immigration to Spire. If that had been my only connection to the trio, I could’ve declined the invitation without worry. But I’m much closer to Mezli, the chaotic nexxit who has become a close friend. She’s gone from slapping me the first cycle we met because I broke up with her best friend Fina, to being a “comm if you need help and I’ll drop everything” kind of friend. For a while, I thought maybe something more would develop between us, but then she met Eden and reunited with their third mate, Phelix.
So, not wanting to be the asshole who doesn’t show up for his friend’s bonding ceremonies, I’m here surrounded by love and joy, when all I want to do is go back to my crappy loft and wallow in my loneliness in peace. Maybe cry myself to sleep. Anything would be better than being surrounded by a crowd of happy people while I die inside a little with each toast to the mates.
I know I sound like an ungrateful, jealous bastard. I really don’t mean to be. I’m happy for Mezli and Fina, and know rationally that we’re better as friends. But when you’ve been alone long enough and all of your friends have found people to share their lives with, it starts to grate on you. Little by little, their affectionate glances and casual touches wear you down until you’re raw. Then even the smallest display of love stings like salt in a wound.
Ugh, when is it going to be my turn?
I’m not a bad guy. Sure, I didn’t end things with Fina very maturely, but that was a long time ago. I’ve worked on myself. They say you have to love yourself before you can love someone else, but I call bullshit. I know plenty of insecure, imperfect people who’ve found love just fine.
Meanwhile, I’ve spent the past five years in therapy working through my trauma and hangups to become someone ready and open to receiving love, and…nothing.
It’s not like I’m not trying. When I first arrived on Spire, I was more than a little intimidated by dating aliens, but that was almost a year ago. I’m far more used to aliens now, and find many of them attractive. Nexxit have pretty pink skin and four arms that make me wonder what they can do with all those hands. Seladin are striking, with glowing eyes and markings that stand out against their deep grey complexions, lending a softness to their otherwise intimidating size and deadly sharp teeth. Ankites have evolved to be attractive to other species, morphing their features to suit what others find good looking, though sometimes it creeps me out more than it comforts. Hell, I’ve even found a few aespians attractive, with their iridescent wings and colorful carapaces. I bet with time, I’ll find the massive vuloi, with their reptilian-like green skin and two rows of eyes appealing, and maybe even be down for a romance with a horned, stony-skinned shikzeth.
I’m not alone because I’m picky. I’ve spent weekend after weekend swiping through Syzygy, the biggest dating app used by Spire’s residents, looking for potential matches. None of the people I matched with were looking for more than the novelty of fucking a human.
No thanks. I already went through my slutty phase while I was getting over breaking up with Fina, and I’m too old and scared of alien STIs to do that nonsense again. I want a connection, not a fuck buddy.
When I got sick of being propositioned by horny aliens, my friends offered to help. Maerlon, Fina’s intimidating seladin partner, tried setting me up with his coworker, Jezrit, but five minutes after sitting down to dinner, the aespian bluntly told me he wasn’t attracted to me. Mezli insisted I go on a date with one of her old flames, a massive vuloi named Grespran. We went out a few times, but then he met my pretty blonde coworker from the embassy and that was the end of that.
It’s hopeless. I’m doomed to spend the rest of my life single, attempting to cobble together enough scraps of platonic affection from my friends to get by.
God, when did I get so bitter?
I wave the nexxit serving drinks off when she stops by to see if I want another. Resting my face in my hands, I take a deep breath and try to push my melancholy mood away.
“Having a bad night?” a velvety voice asks from beside me.
“Uh, no, I’m fine, I just—” my words stop abruptly as I look up to give a fake smile to the alien speaking to me because— damn . The seladin sitting next to me has a roguish flop of white hair that partially obscures one glowing eye, granite skin with glowing markings that frame their sharp cheeks and jawline, and a green cybernetic eye. They’re wearing a shimmering gold jumpsuit, and my eyes follow the path of the neckline that’s cut down to their waist, exposing a thick sliver of their torso.
I tear my gaze back to the stranger’s face, cheeks burning as they let out an amused laugh that sends a shiver of arousal down my spine.
“You’re just…?”
“Oh, um, just a little tired. It’s been an eventful weekend!” I give them as much fake cheer as I can muster.
“I bet. Sometimes nexxit mate bonding ceremonies last for a week, so I’m glad the happy throuple went easy on us.”
“Hah, yeah.” I don’t remember seeing this intimidatingly hot alien at any of the ceremonies, but I’ve had my head up my ass the whole weekend, so I wasn’t exactly on the lookout for sexy seladin.
Their cybernetic eye narrows, scanning across my face. I squirm under their assessment, waiting for them to find some hidden flaw inside me that’s keeping romantic interest at bay. They frown slightly, confirming my pessimism.
I wait for them to excuse themself, but they stay. After a moment longer, they speak again. “I’ve always found mating ceremonies a bit depressing. Like, yes, we get it. You’re in love. Good for you. Now go fuck and stop shoving it in my face that I’m alone.”
My brows shoot up, and a shocked laugh escapes me.
“Was that too harsh?” they ask, laughing along with me.
“Nope, not at all. Couldn’t have said it better myself,” I say, giving them my first real smile of the entire weekend.
“Nice to meet a kindred spirit. I’m Hadrell. They/he pronouns.” They flash me a fanged grin.
I respond a little too slowly, momentarily distracted by thoughts of what it would feel like to have those teeth pressed against my skin. “Paul! I’m Paul. He/him. Nice to meet you!”
“Can I get you a drink, Paul?” he asks, leaning in a bit like he’s about to tell me a secret. I lean in without thinking, drawn by their magnetic presence, until my thigh is pressed against theirs and I can smell their earthy cologne.
“They’re free so, uh, sure. Another drink sounds good.” I don’t know why this stunning seladin is flirting with me, but I’ll soak it up for one more drink and then politely excuse myself.
Their face lights up and they place an elegant hand on my thigh and squeeze it casually.
My cock immediately perks up, because apparently I’m that hard up for physical touch .
I flush and they laugh again, removing their hand to wave over to the bartender.
I want to grab their hand and place it back on my leg. It felt so good.
Shit. Maybe I could make an exception for my rule of not having casual sex, just for tonight. It’s been a rough, long weekend and a hookup with a sexy alien might help me relieve some of my tension. Or at least distract me from my sadness for a bit. What could it hurt to let this handsome seladin take me to bed?
A blaring alarm goes off, shocking me awake. I groan and hold my hand up to shield my eyes from some of the harsh overhead light. My head is pounding and when I try to sit up, I get so dizzy I have to lie back down.
Fuck, how much did I drink?
“Well, that’s not ideal,” a groggy voice murmurs, and I realize two things: One, I’m definitely not in my own bed, and two, I’m not alone.
I attempt to sit up again, but the room we’re in lurches, sending me tumbling off the bed and onto a hard metal floor.
“ Es’het , are you okay?” A head pops over the edge of the bed, and last night’s hazy events grow slightly clearer. I can’t remember their name, though.
“I’m… Shit, my head hurts. Where are we? Did we, uh…”
The seladin grins down at me, looking far too composed after how much we drank last night and with the alarm still ringing out around us. “Did we drunkenly go back to my place to cuddle and commiserate about our loneliness, then fall asleep after you cried into my chest? Yes. ”
“Oh god.” Shit, I can’t even do an alien hookup right. “I’m so sorry.”
“Don’t be. I cried, too,” he says with a wink. “Though I should probably apologize to you. You asked where we are. The answer is my ship.”
“Your ship?” A memory of the seladin making a joke about it not being about the size of the ship but how you fly it comes back to me. “You live on a spaceship?”
“I do. Why? Don’t I look the part of a dashing space adventurer?”
“Right now, you look like a blur. My head is still spinning. Can you turn off that alarm?” I ask, putting my hands over my ears to try to muffle some of the jarring noise. My comm buzzes with the usual notification telling me I need to leave for work. “Shit! I have to go.”
Their smile fades and they rub the back of their neck sheepishly. “Uh, I’m afraid that’s not possible. That lovely alarm that’s blaring? It’s an alert that we’re making a hot exit from the station.”
“What?!” In my panic, I manage to use the edge of the bed to pull myself up to standing, and am greeted by a large viewport and the sight of the massive space station quickly receding from view.
“Hope you’re up for some excitement,” they say with a weak laugh that’s punctuated with a flash of light and another violent lurch of the ship.
My head spins even more as I realize that was the ship taking fire. I’m on a ship with a stranger, potentially about to die because they’re some kind of pirate, and we didn’t even have sex! I swoon like a goddamn damsel in distress, feeling their strong arms catch me before darkness takes me.