Space for Growth (Spire Station #3)

Chapter 20

20

A fter all the drama of getting that canister from the derelict ship, the contents end up being a little boring. Yeah, it was jam-packed with drugs worth twice my annual salary, but I’d hoped for something more interesting given how well they were hidden. Something like stolen gems or a bunch of encrypted data tabs with hidden government secrets.

I think maybe I’ve watched too many action vids.

The reality of being a space pirate isn’t as exciting as what happens in fiction. Putting aside the whole kidnapping and fleeing from Spire while the ship was seconds away from being blasted to smithereens that kicked off this adventure. No, it’s mostly been odd jobs. Over the last few cycles, they’ve picked up a handful, trying to scrape together enough credits to hire someone to decrypt data to find a lead on what the hell happened back on Spire.

Hadrell doesn’t tell me much beyond the basic details, but it’s obvious they think they were set up. I’m inclined to agree with them. Based on the type of jobs they do, nothing would warrant such an extreme reaction from station security. Hadrell couldn’t get the drugs off their ship fast enough, locking them back in the canister and passing it off to the client as soon as we could rendezvous with them.

All in all, it’s really not that bad being stuck here with them. I can’t believe I’m saying that, but wandering around the ship and seeing what people need help with, chatting over meals with the crew, and helping out on simple gigs has been kind of fun. Never mind how much I like spending time with Hadrell.

I hate that I told him “no” the other cycle. Fuck, when he touched me, it was almost impossible to think past the lust fogging my mind. I wanted whatever he was offering more than anything. Maybe if I weren’t so uptight, I could’ve gone with it. Ignored the fact that it was a diversion tactic and let myself have fun with him.

But I can’t help that I need to be wanted for more than a passing dalliance. I spent years of my life fucking around and learned that casual sex isn’t for me. It has to mean something to me, and it definitely needs to mean more to the person I’m sleeping with than a strategy to avoid an uncomfortable conversation.

That doesn’t keep me from going to bed every night cycle, wishing I could roll over and tug Hadrell into my arms. The distance between our bodies we faithfully maintain is not nearly enough, yet it feels like a chasm I can’t cross.

At least Hadrell still talks to me. I worried that my rejection would result in them giving me the cold shoulder, but they’re seemingly unphased. The only difference from before is that they don’t touch me at all now. I hadn’t realized how often their casual touches occurred, and now that they’re missing, there’s a strange ache whenever they’re near. But I can’t point out the lack of touching, or ask them to do it again, because that’d be way too awkward.

Hadrell has been off the ship for most of the cycle, back on Gryxyx to check in with a contact who might have a job that will get us the rest of the credits needed to pay for a jump charge and data decryption. They offered to bring me with them, but I’ve had my fill of that rusted nightmare of a station.

So, I spend the day cycle with Val instead, who offers me a crash course on piloting the ship. Though, I don’t learn much because we spend most of the time discussing her dancing career and my limited knowledge of what Spire has on offer for the performing arts.

I’m more than a little embarrassed to admit that the concept of the enormous, scaly species having a highly competitive and glamorous form of dance would never have crossed my mind, but when Val graces me with a demonstration of a few moves, I can understand. Her prosthetic leg doesn’t hinder the beauty of her movements at all, but according to her, the “accident” that caused her to lose her leg cost her a position in the premiere vuloi dance company. She calls it an unfortunate accident, but it was really an attack by a jealous rival.

God, I can’t even imagine. The worst thing a coworker ever did to me was forget to tell me about an important meeting.

It’s hard not to get wrapped up in the drama and glamor of Val’s past, so when she gets a comm letting her know that Hadrell and Rema are returning to the ship and to prepare for departure, I’m surprised that time passed so quickly.

Not wanting to distract her while she works, I head back to my quarters to clean myself up a little before Hadrell gets back. It’s silly to want to look nice when I see him, but I still fix my hair and clean my teeth at the small hygiene unit. My beard is getting longer than I’d typically wear it, but seeing as none of the other crew members have facial hair, I’ve had no one to ask where I could procure a trimmer.

I don’t mind it, though. I look like a more rugged version of myself. Like I live my life instead of going to work, sitting in meetings for hours, then heading back to my empty loft to sit there alone.

I startle slightly as the door to the quarters slides open, and remove my hand from my beard to turn and greet Hadrell. “H-hey!” God, why do I always get that little surge of nerves and excitement every time I see them?

“Ah, good, you’re here.” They stride into the room, holding something behind their back. They look frazzled, and a pang of worry hits me.

“Is everything okay?” I ask, tilting my head to try to figure out what they’re hiding from me.

“I did something silly.” The tips of their ears darken and their natural eye flares. “You probably don’t want it. I don’t know what I was thinking.”

I move to close the gap between us and they take a step back. “Hadrell, what’s going on? What do you have behind your back?”

“Nothing! I’ll be right back.” They start to back out of the door into the corridor, but freeze when there’s a small squeaking sound.

“What was that?” I dart over and hear the squeak again.

He sighs and gives me a sheepish smile, then brings his hand from behind his back to show me what he’s holding.

In his hand is the smallest, fluffiest little creature I’ve ever seen. It makes a sound that’s somewhere between a squeak and a purr, looking up at me with beady black eyes, its tiny antennae flicking with interest.

It’s so weird. It’s also the cutest thing I’ve seen in my life.

When I’m unable to do anything but stare at the creature, Hadrell continues. “It’s a flesstra. They’re great pets for spaceships because they don’t mind small spaces and don’t need much exercise. Apparently, as long as you give them enough physical affection, they’re very easy to care for. I know it’s not a dog, but it’s small and fluffy. I saw it and I thought of you, but…”

Tears well in my eyes as my gaze flicks between the adorable flesstra and Hadrell’s apologetic expression. “I can’t believe you got me a pet,” I murmur.

He winces. “I know. I’m sorry, I shouldn’t have. I’ll go try to take it back.”

“No!” I reach out and grab their hand, bringing them and the small creature closer. A surge of emotions hits me when we touch, and before I can even process what I’m doing, I’m tugging Hadrell down and smashing my mouth against theirs.

Fireworks go off inside me as our lips meet. I can’t think about anything than how incredible it feels to be doing this and how fucking amazing they are for doing something like this for me.

The flesstra makes a sweet coo and Hadrell lets out a startled grunt, which morphs into a groan a moment later as their free hand wraps around my waist and pulls me closer. Tears spill down my cheeks as I realize they’re kissing me back and it doesn’t feel like something obligatory or casual.

No, it feels like they’re as desperate for this moment of connection as I am.

It ends far too soon, when the flesstra squirms between our bodies and I realize we’re squishing it a bit. I step back, uncertain what I’ll see on Hadrell’s face .

The dazed grin stretching across their lips pushes back the worry that my impulsiveness messed things up between us.

“Thank you,” I say, sucking in a shaky breath as I try to process what happened. And try to keep from grabbing them and kissing them again.

“So… you like her?” His smile morphs into a crooked grin.

“I love her,” I say, holding their gaze for a little too long, before looking down at the precious creature cradled in their hands. “May I?” I hold my hand out for them to pass the flesstra over to me.

As soon as she steps over into my cupped hands, I bring her up against my chest, peering down into the tiny creature’s eyes. She gazes back up at me, intelligence and curiosity shining brightly in her gaze.

“She’s perfect,” I murmur, already besotted. “This is…” Emotion rises, clogging my throat. The flesstra squeaks and presses her head against my chest, then starts to purr.

Great, now I’m crying again.

I look up at Hadrell, my vision blurry from the tears of joy. “Thank you. This means so much to me.” I don’t know if I should express how much. Knowing that he really listened to me the other night, and thought to do this for me, is a rare gift.

“It’s my pleasure,” they say, reaching out to stroke behind one of her fluffy ears, and giving me a lopsided smile. “If I’d known that you’d kiss me like that, I would’ve gotten you a pet a lot sooner.”

My cheeks burn at the reminder. “Sorry about that. I got carried away. I shouldn’t have?—”

I’m cut off as they grab my chin and tilt it up, then lower their mouth to mine in a tender kiss.

When they pull back, they linger close for a few long moments, their eyes searching my face as they cup my chin. “This is okay?” they whisper, their breath fanning across my lips .

I nod. “Y-yeah.” Please kiss me again. Between their nearness and the contented rumble of the flesstra, who I think has already fallen asleep in my hold, I’m going to melt on the spot.

Hadrell doesn’t obey my mental plea, stepping back and narrowing their eyes a bit. “You don’t feel coerced or indebted? Is that why you kissed me?”

Their words startle me. “Wh-what? No.”

Shit, is that what they thought was going on the other night when they tried to make a move?

I shake my head adamantly. “No. I promise I don’t feel that way at all.”

The tension in their posture eases. “Okay.”

We both step closer at the same time, and he has to reach out to steady me as I trip over his feet. I reflexively hold the flesstra a little tighter and she lets out a disgruntled chuff.

Hadrell looks down at her and chuckles. “Do you have any ideas for her name?”

I gaze down at the fluffball, who does a circle in my palm, then nestles back against me. God, she’s so cute it’s almost hard to look at her. People talk about love at first sight, and I never believed in it until I met this flesstra.

“Hmm, is there a seladin word for ‘princess’?” I ask. “Though, I guess that’s silly since our translators will automatically switch to the word in our languages.”

Hadrell snorts. “She is absolutely a princess. Does ‘ leilit ’ translate for you?”

“No, what does it mean?”

“It’s a noble title used by ancient seladin. I only know it from reading trashy historical stories.”

“ Leilit . I like it. I’d ask her if she’s amenable, but…” I incline my ch in at the flesstra, who has curled into a ball and is currently snoring.

“I wonder if she’ll wake up if you set her down,” Hadrell asks, their gaze dropping to my mouth in a way that makes heat flare up inside me and my cock twitch to life.

“We can see,” I murmur. I carry Leilit over to the bed as Hadrell arranges a blanket into a makeshift nest for her. She gives a groan of protest as I transfer her to it, making me feel terrible for daring to stop snuggling her, but she falls back to sleep a moment later.

When I turn away from her, Hadrell is there, pulling me against their chest and pressing their lips to mine. I let out a little sound of surprise, but wrap my arms around them and kiss them back.

Their hand on my hip anchors me against them and their other hand tangles in my hair, holding me in place. I moan at their possessive touch, and they use the opportunity to deepen the kiss, their long tongue dipping into my mouth to tangle with mine.

With no space between us, my hard cock presses insistently against their thigh and I’d be embarrassed for being so instantly aroused by them, but the way they gasp against my mouth when they feel it makes me think they like it.

“I don’t want to do anything that makes you uncomfortable,” they murmur between kisses as I catch my breath.

“Do I seem uncomfortable to you?” I ask, tightening my grip on their shirt to stabilize myself against the onslaught of lust teeming through me.

“No,” they chuckle, then bring their lips to my throat, scraping against it with their teeth.

My hips buck involuntarily, grinding against their leg. Fuck, I’m going to come in my pants at this rate.

Hadrell’s comm pings, but he ignores it, backing me up against the wall and kissing me harder .

It pings again, and they let out a frustrated groan.

“It’s o-okay. Answer it,” I pant. As turned on as I am, it would be good to have a second to breathe and think.

They nod and look down at the message, a scowl forming on their face as they read who it is. “ Esh’et . I have to take this. It’s the person I’m trying to hire for the decryption.”

“Totally fine. I’ll go see if I can find something to make into a bed for Leilit.”

He looks like he wants to argue, but I head toward the door and give him an awkward wave, then head out into the corridor. As soon as the door slides shut, I lean against the corridor and let out a mix between a laugh and a groan.

I can’t believe that happened. They gave me a pet, and we kissed. This might just be the best cycle of my life.