Chapter 21
21
I linger in the lift for far longer than I’d like to admit, waiting for my cock to go down before I seek out Rema. She’s always watching me with a keen eye, and if I showed up with a hard dick, she wouldn’t ignore it. No, she’d want to know the source, and she’d assume it was Hadrell, or maybe Val, since I spent most of the day cycle with her. That’d be bad, since from what I can piece together, Tari has a huge crush on Val and I don’t want her sending her sex bot, Dill, after me.
I shudder at the memory of its seeking, lubed up tentacles, which helps dampen my arousal. I’d ask the mechanic why it has tentacles, since none of the aliens I’ve encountered possess them, but I’m afraid that question would lead to me being scarred for life after they show me vids from their erotica collection. I’m not one to kink shame at all, but there are some things I’d rather not see when I close my eyes at night.
It takes a few minutes of wandering around the lower deck to locate Rema. When I reluctantly peek my head into the med bay, I find the lithe seladin perched on the edge of the exam table. She’s laughing, leaning forward to press a finger to the center of Bret’u’s chest as the shikzeth glares at her. Ze grabs her hand and yanks it away, which has the effect of drawing Rema closer to zir. She laughs even harder and hooks a leg around Bret’u’s hip, whose eyes widen and ze sputters something I can’t make out.
My cheeks heat as I realize where this interaction might be headed, and I duck back out of the doorway before I start feeling like a voyeur.
Huh. I wouldn’t have pictured them together. Though, to be fair, I wouldn’t have expected the crass mechanic to have a crush on the demure pilot. Attraction is strange.
Something tightens in my stomach.
I wonder if they think the same about me and Hadrell. It’s clear they assume we’ve been fucking this whole time I’ve been on board—which makes sense because the whole reason I’m here in the first place is that I went back to Hadrell’s for a drunken hookup. Just because said hookup didn’t happen doesn’t mean that there wasn’t the attraction there to instigate it.
I honestly don’t understand what Hadrell sees in me. I’d assumed it was the soft focus of inebriation that made me an appealing enough candidate for a bed partner, not any genuine attraction on their part. Even after they made a pass at me, I figured it was because it was a distraction.
Why would someone so breathtaking, funny, and capable want me?
I’m a mess. Physically, I guess I’m attractive enough, but I’m just a guy. There’s nothing special about me beyond the happenstance that led to me being stuck here on their ship.
When we kissed, that all fell away. It was hard to doubt that I was desirable or good enough, because Hadrell kissed me like I meant something to them.
Now that I’m away from them, the doubts threaten to creep back in. It’s easier to chalk the kiss up to the tension breaking after spending cycles stuck together, or the emotion from them giving me Leilit. But I refuse to let those thoughts ruin this for me. Even if I’ve read too much into the kisses and their gift, I can bask in the brief moment that I was the focus of Hadrell’s desire.
Fuck, now I’m getting hard again.
Unsure how long Hadrell will spend talking with their contact, I consider going to the showers and giving myself some relief, but with my luck, that’ll be the exact moment Rema decides she needs to take a shower. Hadrell warned their crew off from bothering me while I’m in there, but I don’t want to risk one of them stumbling upon me with my dick in hand.
Since no one told me any part of the ship is off-limits, Tari isn’t anywhere on this deck, and Rema and Bret’u are preoccupied, I decide to look around for some supplies for Leilit on my own. I won’t touch anything that looks dangerous.
Eventually, I find what must be the supplies area. It’s a small room, filled with crates and floor to ceiling shelves. It’d be claustrophobic if it wasn’t so well-organized. There’s an eclectic assortment of items ranging from mundane ration packets to a stack of what I think are blaster mods. I would’ve thought they’d keep that kind of thing in an armory, but maybe the ship is too small for that.
I grab a variety of nutrition packets I hope will be alright for a flesstra to eat, as well as a blanket, a small empty crate, and a pair of shallow metal cups that should work well to hold food and water. I’m not sure if Hadrell thought to pick up any of the basic supplies needed to care for a pet. Next time he goes to a station, I’ll have him get things that are meant for flesstras.
It’s silly, but gathering up the supplies makes me happy. I don’t think I ever realized how much I craved having something to take care of. It’s only the first cycle of having Leilit, and I’m sure taking care of her will be more tiresome sometimes, but I can’t help the excitement I feel at knowing she’s mine and I can be there for her.
God, I still can’t believe Hadrell got me a pet. I want to go back up there right now and show him how grateful I am with more than a kiss. I’d explore his whole body with my mouth if that would please him.
My cock throbs insistently, and I palm it through my pants, trying to get it to chill out, but that touch only makes it leak pre-cum and ache more. It’s been ages since I’ve gotten off and my cock is making its displeasure about that known.
I set down the supplies I’ve collected on a nearby crate, and move to the door, peeking out into the hallway to see if anyone is nearby. After waiting a minute and no sign of activity, I go back inside and weave through the shelves to the very back of the room.
This is probably the most private spot I’m going to find on the ship. I know I shouldn’t, but fuck, I need relief. Going back to Hadrell like this will only end in me embarrassing myself by coming in my pants if they decide to pick things back up where we left off before we were interrupted.
I quickly undo the fasteners on my pants, just enough so I can draw my cock out. A deep groan rumbles out of me as I wrap my fist around my dick and give it a firm stroke. I’m too anxious about getting caught to tease myself or draw this out, so I spit in my palm, then slick it up and down my shaft as I imagine Hadrell’s hand on me instead. Or their mouth. Or either of their holes .
Fuck. This isn’t going to take long at all.
I wonder what they like in bed. Would they want me inside them? Would they want to fuck me? God, either way would be perfect.
Both scenarios flash in my mind, warring for my attention, and my cock bucks in my grip. As long as I’m pleasing them and giving them what they want, it doesn’t matter. I want them to take control of me. Tease me and make me beg for them.
Hadrell’s voice echoes in my mind, telling me how I’m doing so well. Telling me they want to see me come for them.
“Shit!” I slap a hand against a nearby shelf to steady myself as pleasure tingles at the base of my spine. I pump my cock in brutal strokes and my balls draw up as my orgasm nears.
All it takes is the memory of Hadrell’s teeth scraping against my throat to push me over the edge. I come so hard I cry out, doubling over as my cock unloads. Thick jets of cum splatter onto the floor before I regain the presence of mind to find something to catch it in.
“Shit,” I curse again, panting as I look down at the mess I’ve made. I really didn’t think that through at all. I could use the blanket I picked out to clean it up, but it was the only one left and there’s no way I’m getting jizz on something that’s meant for my pet.
My eyes dart around, searching for something else to use, but I don’t want to take too long and have someone find me in here with a puddle of my cum on the floor. I sigh and tug off my shirt, tossing it down on top of the mess and using it as a rag.
“What are you doing?”
A scream tears from my lungs as I startle at the voice, and I stumble back into the shelf behind me. When I turn around, Yaz, the ship’s security officer, stands there, his iridescent wings fluttering as he cocks his head at me .
“Shit, sorry, you scared me,” I gasp, clutching my chest as I fight back the memory of him cornering me on that awful space station. He’s the only member of the crew who I haven’t interacted with much. Whenever we’re in the same room, he doesn’t try to talk to me, which I don’t blame him for. Screaming and threatening someone isn’t exactly the best first impression.
“My apologies. It appears I need to work on making my presence less frightening. Would you suggest a wardrobe change?” He gestures down at his plain black outfit and if what I know about aespians is correct, it’s a genuine question.
“No, no, you look fine. It’s not your outfit, it’s me. I didn’t hear you come in.”
Their antennae flick. “Ah. Yes, I suppose my training would make my movements imperceptible to duller human senses.” A beat passes. “No offense intended. It’s a biological fact, not an insult. Humans are superior physiologically to aespians in many other ways.”
I smile at their clarification. “Oh, no, I know I’m not the most perceptive, even for a human.”
They blink slowly, a nictitating membrane closing over their large black eyes. “In that case, I will make my steps and breathing heavier when I approach you.”
“You don’t have to do that,” I say with an awkward laugh.
“I don’t like making you distressed. I’d much prefer you smile when I approach instead of screaming.” I might be imagining it, but there seems to be a hint of worry in his oscillating tone.
“You’ve caught me at a bad moment both times. It has nothing to do with you. But thank you, I appreciate you making that accommodation for me.”
His antennae flick toward me and a moment later his wings droop down. I’m not sure if that’s a good thing or not .
“So, what are you doing?” he asks, glancing between my bare torso and my shirt on the floor.
“Oh! Uh, I was looking for supplies and I, um, I spilled something. So I was trying to clean it up.”
“Would you like some assistance? I can summon a cleaning bot.” He taps his comm to do so, but I shake my head.
“No! I’ve got it. Thank you, though.” I stoop down and gather up my cum-stained shirt, balling it up so that the evidence of my inappropriate jerk off session is on the inside. “I’m going to go take this stuff back to my quarters,” I say, gesturing at the assortment of things I’ve grabbed for Leilit.
“Alright.” He scans the contents of the crate, and his antennae flick again. “There are better rations. Rema keeps them hidden on the top shelf, but I can get them down for you.”
I feel bad for refusing his help again, so I try to give him a smile that shows my appreciation. “That’s so nice of you to offer, but the food isn’t for me. It’s for a flesstra. Hadrell got it for me. As a pet. Which, of course that’s what he got it for. What else would I do with a flesstra?” I force a laugh.
“I’ve heard some species like to eat small, furry creatures,” he says, answering my rhetorical question.
There’s no holding back my grimace at the thought. Yes, humans eat meat, but it’s almost all synthetic now, and the thought of anyone taking something so cute and intelligent and turning it into food makes me sick to my stomach.
He blinks at me and his mouth curves up into what I think is an attempt at a smile. “That was meant as a jest.”
“Oh! Right.” I laugh awkwardly again. “Good one.” I go to move past him, and leave this storage room before I can make this interaction any worse, when he speaks again .
“Your mating with the captain has progressed faster than I anticipated.”
I freeze. “Uh, what?”
He gestures at the crate in my hands. “They’ve given you a courting present. A pet is a significant one. Usually seladin start with something small like a plant or sweet treats when they’re attempting to form a soul bond.”
Something about that term sounds vaguely familiar, and I kick myself for not asking Fina more questions about her relationship with Maerlon. It just felt way too weird to ask my ex about what dating a seladin was like. Not that Hadrell and I are dating. We’ve only kissed. A soul bond sounds pretty damn serious.
“They’re not…we’re not…”
His antennae reach toward my balled up shirt, and he blinks slowly again. “Ah. Apologies for interrupting you while you were marking your mate’s domicile with your seed. If you’d like, I can leave so you can do it again.”
My eyebrows shoot up. “Excuse me?”
“Your seed. To show your claim on Hadrell.” He looks at me like I’m the one who is being strange. “Human courting practices must be similar to those of shikzeth, though they typically keep the marking to the bodies of their chosen. Aespians have a similar practice, but with pheromone marking, not ejaculate.”
I stare at him, mouth agape. I can’t even form a response, because now I’m imagining Bret’u jizzing all over Rema, back in the med bay. I’ve seen zir cock in the showers—not intentionally, but it’s hard to miss something that big. They’ll need a lot more than a flimsy shirt to clean up that kind of mess.
“I’ve made you uncomfortable.” It’s a statement rather than an apology. “I’ll avoid discussing mating in our future interactions. However, if I may say one more thing…It brings me joy to know that the captain has found his mate. He’s searched tirelessly for one, judging by how many partners he has tried.”
I let out a choked sound at his casual mention of how much Hadrell sleeps around. “Uh, thanks. But I’m not his mate. He hasn’t, uh, tried me.”
“Oh.” Yaz’s antennae flick rapidly and his wings flutter up and back down. “Then I suggest doing your best to please the captain when you have intercourse. You appear to be good for them and they clearly think you are a decent candidate for a soul bond.”
“I need to get going,” I blurt, my face burning at this whole bizarre conversation.
“Back to Hadrell,” he states calmly.
“Yes. No! Back to my flesstra.”
“Alright. I’ll await a sign of if your courtship is progressing successfully or not.”
I move toward the door. “Sure, okay, bye!”
I don’t wait for his reply, and in my hurry to leave, I almost collide with Rema as I exit the room.
“Whoa!” She dodges out of the way and gives me a concerned look. She looks clean and not like she was recently covered in shikzeth cum.
God, I have to stop thinking about that!
“Everything alright?” she asks, quirking a dotted brow at my flustered state.
“Yep. Fine.” My words come out higher pitched than usual. I incline my chin toward the crate in my hands. “I got some supplies for a flesstra. Hope that’s alright.”
“Sure. Wait, where did you get a flesstra?”
“Hadrell got it for me,” I say, attempting to make the gift sound casual .
Apparently, I fail because she sucks in a sharp, surprised breath. “They did?”
Why is everyone reacting like this? It was a very thoughtful present, but they’re acting like Hadrell proposed. Which is absurd.
“It’s no big deal. I told them I always wanted a pet and they know I’ve had a hard time being alone, so they got me one.”
She opens her mouth to argue, but I step away toward the lift. “I think I saw Yaz climbing one of the shelves in there,” I blurt. “He said he wanted to get at your secret stash or something like that.”
“He what ?” Rema’s curious smile morphs into a scowl. “Sorry, I need to go talk to that little turd.”
I wave her off, using the distraction to hurry to the lift. As I wait for the doors to shut, I let out a murmured prayer that no one else will pop up to ask me about what I’m doing.
Thankfully, they don’t, but I only have a few moments to be relieved as the lift surges upward before my stomach twists with nerves. Going back to the quarters and seeing Hadrell now is far more daunting after talking with Yaz and Rema.
Were they right? Does Hadrell’s gift mean more than I thought?
Butterflies take flight in my stomach as I approach the door.
Could it be that what I felt in Hadrell’s kiss reflected more than their passing desire?