Space for Growth (Spire Station #3)

Chapter 31

31

O h god, oh god, oh god, oh god.

She’s dead. I watched someone die. I helped kill her.

I thought I could handle it, but that was overconfident, delusional Paul, not “looks away when someone is bleeding in a vid” Paul. What the fuck was I thinking?

I glance over at the body of the lifeless seladin sprawled on the couch and bile rises in my throat. I turn and bury my face against Hadrell’s chest as my body starts to shake uncontrollably.

“Shh, it’s okay. You’re okay,” they murmur into my hair, stroking their hands up and down my back like they need to reassure themself that what they’re saying is true. “I’m so proud of you. You were perfect. Stars, you are perfect.”

It’s a confession I’m not sure they realize has spilled from their lips as they cling to me. With every passing second Hadrell holds me, the nausea and shock subside a bit more. It’s not gone completely, but it’s enough for me to lift my head and look up at them.

I’m not sure which one of us moves first, but suddenly our mouths slam together in a desperate kiss. He kisses me like he wants to consume me. Draw every part of me into him so that he never has to let me go.

A sound in the hall startles us apart.

Shit, we need to get out of here before we’re discovered.

Hadrell motions for me to hide behind the couch, and scoops up the comm they’d tossed aside with one hand while they rip off the blaster taped onto their back, aiming it at the door.

They swipe through the comm, eyes darting back and forth between it and the door, and my heart leaps into my throat as there’s a soft click.

Hadrell releases a heavy exhale. “Alright,” they murmur. “I locked the door and set it to not be disturbed. That should keep any prying eyes away for a while.”

“O-okay,” I say, avoiding looking anywhere near Gelia’s body as I move back to their side.

They reach up to cup my cheek with a featherlight touch, concern etched in their furrowed brow. “ Vash-ka , Paul. Are you okay?”

“I’m fine.” In truth, I don’t feel any pain right now with the sheer amount of adrenaline in my system. “Glad that the antidote worked as well as Bret’u said, though.” I shudder as the image of Gelia’s death throes flash before my eyes.

“Ze would never endanger you like that. Ze likes you too much.” Hadrell pauses for a moment, stroking my face again. “The whole crew does. ”

“Well, then we’d better get back to them,” I say with a shaky smile.

“We will. However, we need to allow them enough time to bring the people to our ship.” Hadrell takes a step back and swipes through Gelia’s comm. “It looks like she wasn’t lying about granting that request. Their trackers are on the way out of the club.”

“Trackers?” I frown as I glance down at four dots moving across a map of the station.

“In case any of them got it in their heads to run,” they say, giving me an odd look.

“That’s horrible!”

Hadrell clears his throat. “Yeah. We’ll get them removed and destroy them.”

I nod. “Good.”

I don’t bother asking Hadrell why they decided at the last moment to throw all those people into their negotiation, when all we discussed ahead of time was asking for credits.

“What about the rest of them?” I feel ill again as I consider all the other people working in the club. Plus, all the other Y’thir this monster sold off. “We have to do something.”

Pain flickers across Hadrell’s face, and they swallow hard. “I’m sorry. We can’t help them. One of the cruelest realities of this galaxy is knowing no matter how much you do, it will never be enough to help everyone.”

“But… but there are so many of them!” My chest aches with guilt and horror.

Hadrell squeezes my arm. “We can send an encrypted comm to inform the Consortium of the trafficking happening here, but by the time they show up, they’ll have found Gelia’s body and scattered.” They release a shuddering sigh. “I won’t do anything else. It’s too dangerous. ”

“What if?—”

Their jaw sets and they let out a pained growl of protest. “No. I won’t risk you, Paul. You can think I’m selfish or horrible for leaving them behind when I could go out there with my blaster and try to free them, but I don’t care. You matter more than anything.”

Their eyes beg me to understand, but they don’t need to. I understand. If they were asking me to do the same, I’d tell them no. They’re too important to me.

God, I think I love them.

I press a fierce kiss to their lips as a rogue tear spills down my cheek. When I pull away, they give me a questioning look and I reach up to touch their cheek like they did to me before. “You matter to me, too.”

Hadrell’s breath releases with a shuddering sigh. There’s no time for confessions now. But when we get back to the ship, I’m going to show them how much they matter.

Given how dramatic the job has been so far, leaving the club and getting back to the ship is shockingly simple. We exit through the concealed door, which leads out into a maintenance hall. There are a few heart-stopping moments when we encounter staff, but they take one look at me and go back to their business. No doubt other club patrons have used these corridors to spirit away their newly acquired pets.

I want to stop and tell them to come with us, but I know no matter how harsh it is to leave them behind, Hadrell is right. If we told one of them what was going on, they could think it was a trap or test of loyalty. They might run off to security. Why would they trust us? Especially when the worst monster in the place seemed to be another Y’thir, like Hadrell.

Still, it doesn’t keep my chest from aching more and more, until it feels like it’s going to burst from despair.

How can places like this exist? How can people be so fucking greedy and cruel? And how does anyone who encounters their depravity stay sane, knowing they’ll never be able to stem the tide of inhumanity?

Tears spill down my cheeks by the time we reach the maintenance exit. We’re not far from the ship, but when Hadrell sees my tears, they scoop me up into their arms and carry me the rest of the way.

“How are you so strong?” I murmur, looking up at them with blurred vision.

They give me a bemused look. “I’ve carried you before.”

“Not that. How can you stand it? Knowing this exists.”

He holds me closer and a faint, tender smile forms on his lips. “The universe isn’t all darkness. The bright spots make everything worth it.”

When we board the ship, we’re greeted by chaos in the cargo hold.

Yaz scurries over to us immediately, his wings fluttering in agitation. “Captain. You’re back. We should depart, but I will check to confirm you weren’t followed.”

“Thank you,” Hadrell says, clasping the aespian’s shoulder briefly. “We’ll have everything ready to leave as soon as you’re back on board.”

“Is your mate injured?” Yaz blinks at me in alarm.

I squirm in Hadrell’s arms, embarrassment creeping in at being carried aboard as all eyes turn to look at us.

“No, he’s okay.”

“I’m fine!”

We speak at the same time, and my eyes meet theirs, heat washing over my cheeks at the fact Hadrell didn’t correct Yaz. There’s the smallest tilt to the corner of their mouth as they set me down on my feet, like they’re wondering why I didn’t protest, either.

“Ah, so the carrying is a precursor to fornication, like the vuloi do when they’ve found a partner they wish to bed.”

“Yes.” Hadrell deadpans.

“N-no!” I sputter, speaking again at the same time as Hadrell.

They raise a brow at me. “No?”

“Well, not right now,” I huff.

Hadrell’s laugh is warm and bright, helping to shake off some of the stress still racing through my system. “Of course not, l’thran .”

My translator still doesn’t understand that word they’ve called me multiple times now. I’m about to ask them what it means, but Tari approaches with an uncharacteristically solemn expression on her face.

“Someone tried to tamper with the ship’s systems.”

Hadrell sighs. “One of our new guests? That was fast.”

She shakes her head. “No, they’ve been with Rema and Bret’u in the med bay since they came aboard. It was before that. Not long after you left, actually. I didn’t want to disturb you, so I handled it.”

“What kind of tampering?” Hadrell’s words come out evenly, but their jaw ticks.

Tari pulls up a holoscreen with her comm and shows a systems log. “See, right here.” She points to a spot on the inscrutable readout. “ There was a stealth pulse sent to disarm our shield generators and weapons systems. My experimental defensive net caught and flagged it.”

Hadrell’s nostrils flare at the mention of her experimenting with the ship systems without informing them yet again. “Good.”

Tari clears her throat, clearly taken aback that there was no reprimand for disobeying captain’s orders. “Right. So, unfortunately, I couldn’t track if the pulse was from somewhere on this station or further away. With good enough tech, you can send one from another sector, especially if you’ve planted some kind of beacon on the ship you’re trying to tamper with.”

“Wait, so you think someone left a beacon on the ship and used that to try to leave us defenseless?” My mouth falls open. “Could it be in that cargo you picked up?”

Tari shrugs with both sets of shoulders. “Rema and Yaz searched it. Twice. But I guess it’s possible they missed it. Possible, but not probable.”

An unsettling, placid look settles over Hadrell’s features. They pat Tari’s shoulder and give her a smile. “Thank you, Tari. You did a good job. Let’s keep this between us, for now, okay? I don’t want to alarm anyone while we’re focusing on making sure our guests are safe and getting out of here alive.”

“Right.” Judging by the flat line of Tari’s lips, she understands what Hadrell’s leaving unsaid.

He doesn’t want to inform the crew in case someone here is responsible for the tampering.

“If you catch another spike, comm me immediately,” Hadrell adds.

“I can do better than that,” Tari says, tapping the holo panel in a flurry. “I’ve linked the monitoring feed to your comm and set it to alert you. ”

“Perfect. Link it to Paul’s comm, too.”

Tari raises a brow at the order.

“Oh, that’s okay! I don’t even know what I’d do if I got an alert other than run around in a panic telling everyone we’re in danger.”

Hadrell snorts. “Exactly. If, for some reason, I’m not around and you are, you’ll be an excellent warning system.”

“Alright, you’re both set up. Between the three of us, and my definitely sanctioned, not at all experimental monitoring system, everything will be fine.”

I can’t keep in my laugh and Tari smirks as Hadrell rolls their eyes.

Tari scurries off to prepare for disembarking, and with her gone, Hadrell wraps an arm around my waist to hold me close. “I need to head to the med bay. I’d like for Bret’u to look at your cut and double-check there aren’t any ill effects of the poison, but I understand if you’d rather wait until ze can come see you in our quarters.”

Their consideration of my needs, even at a time like this, makes me smile. “I can handle it. I’d like to make sure the people we brought with us are okay, too. I want to help if I can.”

“You can absolutely help. Do you want to stop by our quarters first and get dressed?” Hadrell squeezes my hip, and I remember that I’m still in my skimpy briefs and collar.

“Hah, probably a good idea.”

“Do you want me to come with you?” Hadrell asks, voice husky as his talon toys with the waistband of my briefs.

“That’s not a good idea,” I reply, letting out a weak chuckle even as my dick perks up.

“Or is it an excellent one?” they tease, stepping back and giving me a heated smile.

I shake my head at them. “We have things to do. We’re still not out of danger! ”

Hadrell lets out a bright peal of laughter. “I don’t think I’ll ever grow tired of teasing you.”

I let out a frustrated huff, but I grin back at them. “Good.”