Space for Growth (Spire Station #3)

Chapter 32

32

T he med bay is packed when I arrive, with Rema talking to the trio of seladin crowded around the exam table, and Bret’u tending to the ankite at zir desk. The Y’thir are deep in conversation and Rema seems to have it covered at the moment, so I approach Bret’u first.

The ankite’s eyes widen as I approach and they scoot their chair back toward the corner. Away from me. Bret’u grumbles about them needing to stay still so ze can remove their tracker, but I hold my hand up to stop zir.

“I’m sorry for startling you. I’m not sure what my crew has told you yet, but I won't harm any of you. This isn’t a trick, but I understand you have no reason to trust my word on that.”

The ankite trembles slightly as I speak, their features shifting rapidly between my sharper ones and Bret’u’s craggy visage. “The guards said I had a new owner. I will do my best to please you, sir.”

For a moment, I consider going along with the ankite’s assumptions about me because it would be easier to keep them from doing something rash until I can get them to safety. But I can’t stomach the thought of even pretending they’re still enslaved.

“I wish you wouldn’t. I have no desire for you to serve me, and I definitely don’t own you. Though, I will request you call me Hadrell. They/he pronouns. I only like when my partner calls me ‘sir’, and that’s reserved for intimate moments.”

“My apologies, sir—I mean, Hadrell.” They wince, bracing for a strike.

“No apologies necessary,” I say with a gentle smile, swallowing down my fury that their abusers conditioned them to be afraid of retribution for such a simple mistake. “Could you tell me your name? You can use a fake one if you’d prefer that. I’d just like to have something to call you.”

“K'thi,” they murmur. “They/them.”

“Welcome aboard my ship, K'thi. As soon as Bret’u gets your tracker out and makes sure you’re not sick, I’ll show you around. Or if you prefer, my partner will.”

“The human that was with you?” K'thi asks, their light purple brow crinkling. “He’s your mate?”

Bret’u turns and gives me a sly look. “That’s a good question. Is he?”

The tips of my ears grow hot. “I meant partner as in my partner on our mission. Seladin don’t have mates.” I’m not about to explain my relationship and feelings toward Paul when I haven’t even discussed them with the human in question.

K'thi cocks their head at me. “What mission? ”

“I told you, I’m not a trafficker. We were there on a job. A hit on Gelia.”

I expect for K'thi to recoil at my casual mention of being a hired assassin, but a smile spreads across their lips.

“She’s dead?” they ask in a whisper, like they’re afraid saying it too loud will summon Gelia from the shadows to drag them back to the club.

“Yes,” I say, not bothering to hide my lack of remorse. “Now, let’s get that tracker out of you so none of her mercs can come after us, okay?”

K'thi’s smile is huge now, their features settling into the more amorphous quality that ankites possess when in a relaxed state. “Yeah. Okay.”

Satisfied that K'thi seems at least a touch less on edge now, I nod to Bret’u and head over to speak with Rema and my fellow Y’thir.

“Ah, there you are,” Rema says, giving me a tense smile as I approach. She grabs my arm, tugging me out of earshot of the group. “I thought they’d be more amenable to hearing me out as a fellow Y’thir, but apparently the person who enslaved them was a Y’thir that looks enough like me I that could be her sister,” Rema says in a hissed whisper, glancing back at the group. “They keep cursing at me whenever I try to explain what’s going on.”

“Huh.” I look her up and down. “I didn’t notice it at the time, but there is some similarity. That’s an unfortunate coincidence.”

“Yeah, well, then you go talk to them. Unless you look like her, too,” she huffs, crossing her arms under her chest.

“Oh, no, I’m much more attractive,” I deadpan.

Rema scowls and smacks my arm. “It’s not funny! I don’t want to be associated with a monster like that. Vash-ka , how did you not rip her throat out the minute you found out she was Y’thir? If I’d been there…” Her fingers flex like she’s envisioning raking her claws across Gelia’s face.

“If Paul wasn’t with me, I would’ve. Then probably got myself killed.”

“Remind me to thank him for keeping my best friend alive.” Rema clasps my shoulder, emotion flaring in her eyes. “Seriously. I don’t know what I would’ve done if anything happened to you.”

I swallow hard against my surge of emotions, many of which make bile rise in my throat.

I want to believe her. I love Rema. She’s my sister in everything but blood. She’s been by my side since I left home, the one constant I know I can rely on. She’s a pain in the ass sometimes, but she’s done nothing to make me suspect her of disloyalty or deceit.

Still, as I search her face now, all I can do is search for is potential signs I’ve missed. Are Rema’s emotions coming from frustration that I made it back alive rather than relief? Was her inability to go to Sin Horizon for the job a fabrication? Esh’et , did she use sleeping with Bret’u to distract me from paying attention to signs of her deception? Or worse, is Bret’u working with her?

I hate this.

I force myself to smile and grip her shoulder back. “You’re not getting rid of me that easily.” It’s meant as a tease, but there’s an undercurrent of accusation I can’t fully filter out, trying to see if it pulls a reaction from her.

Rema laughs, and the bright sound that usually makes me smile sets my nerves on edge even more. “ Esh’et ,” she curses playfully. “Oh well, maybe next time.”

My chuckle is strained despite my best efforts to appear amused.

The saelit on her brow pull together. “Everything alright? ”

“Yeah. Just anxious to get out of here. I’ll go talk to the Y’thir. Thank you for trying. I appreciate the help.”

Rema sighs. “I wish I could’ve done more. Let me know if you need anything at all. I’m going to head to the mess and make some food for our guests.” She pauses a few steps away. “Oh! I’ll also be staying in Bret’u’s quarters while they’re on board to free up some space. I think Tari offered for Val to stay in her quarters, too. So between that, the bed in here, the rec room, and my quarters, we have enough beds to go around. Assuming you and Paul are still good to share.”

I roll my eyes at her teasing. “Yes, we’re still sharing.”

“And that’s going well?” Rema asks, a knowing smirk forming on her lips.

“Quit asking about my love life and get out of here. I have work to do.”

“Oooo, your love life? I knew it!”

I shoo her away, and she leaves the med bay with a spring in her step.

My stomach sinks in her absence. Stars, please let her friendship not be a cruel act.

After getting changed and stopping to check on Leilit—who is happily scurrying around by the helm as Val tosses food pellets to her—I head down to the lower deck, almost running into a smiling Rema as I exit the lift.

“Paul!” she exclaims brightly. “Just the human I was looking for. ”

“Hah, I’m the only human in this sector, so I’d be shocked if you were looking for a different one.”

She laughs and I wait for a beat for her to explain why she wanted to see me.

Out of nowhere, Rema’s long arms band around me and squeeze. “Thank you,” she says, the humor gone from her tone.

I hold my arms stiffly at my sides, uncertain what’s going on. “For what?”

“For keeping them safe,” she says with a shuddering sigh.

“Oh.” A lump of emotion clogs my throat. I’m not sure if she’s referring to the Y’thir we rescued or only Hadrell, but either way, I understand the hug now. “I didn’t do much, but you’re welcome.”

“Hadrell told me you kept him alive.” She lets go and when I look up at her face, there are tears welling in her glowing eyes. “If something had happened to him… Vash-ka . He’s burrowed so deep into my heart, losing him might kill me.” She swipes at her tears and gives me a watery smile. “ Fa-shar asshole,” Rema adds in a grumble.

“I understand. You love him, too.” I touch her arm as my vision grows blurry from the swell of emotion inside me at her words.

She nods, and a moment later a sly grin twists her lips. “You love them?”

“Shit, you can’t tell them I said that! We haven’t even talked about what’s going on between us. I don’t know if they feel the same?—”

“They do,” Rema interrupts. “Stop being silly and tell them.”

“How can you be so certain? They’ve had so many partners. I know they’re attracted to me, but… I’m just me. I’m not special.”

Rema scoffs. “You can’t be serious. You just got back from a den of slavers, where you helped save a bunch of people. You volunteered to do that, even though no one expected you to. Even though you have severe anxiety. But, no, you’re not special.”

My face heats at her dismissive assessment. “I guess…”

“You are. Hadrell sees it. We all see it—though not in the same way. Take your head out of the void and see it, too.”

The translation of whatever idiom she used pulls a small chuckle from me. “I’ll try.”

“It’s worth it. Trust me, I was terrified to commit to Bret’u, but…” Rema sighs dreamily. “So worth it.”

“I’ll talk to Hadrell about it.” I wanted to anyway, but after speaking with Rema, I’m certain I need to. Even if she’s wrong, I need to know where they stand.

“Good. Oh, and if you break their heart, I’ll kill you!” Rema shoots me a cheery grin.

My brows shoot up. “Hah, okay.”

Her smile drops. “I’m serious, Paul. Anyone who hurts Hadrell has to answer to me. The rest of the crew, too. Hadrell is family. They’ve been treated like trash over and over, and it’s a miracle that they’re willing to let you into their heart after how many times they’ve been tossed aside. If you’re unsure at all about your feelings, then keep your mouth shut until you’re certain.”

I fight the urge to take a step back at Rema’s warning. Every ounce of her body language and tone are dead serious. She would do anything for Hadrell.

I know Hadrell is concerned about her potentially sabotaging the ship, but there’s no damn way it was Rema. Even the best actor in the galaxy couldn’t fake the intensity of her devotion to them.

“R-right.” I do my best to stand my ground, even when the person threatening me could tear me to shreds. As scary as Rema is, there’s relief knowing how deeply Hadrell is cared for.

I can understand why. Anyone who spends time with Hadrell can’t help falling a little in love with them, and anyone who gets the privilege of knowing them more deeply is blessed.

“I’m certain about my feelings,” I say, my voice soft but confident.

Rema’s smile springs back into place, and the tension in her posture eases. “Well, then, wonderful! I won’t keep you any longer.”

She steps into the lift and gives me a little wave.

“Wait!” I call out, remembering something I wanted to ask her. Something I should be brave enough to ask Hadrell. But it’d be helpful to know before I go confess my adoration to them.

Rema stops and cocks a brow. “What is it?”

“I was wondering… what does l’thran mean?”

She laughs and shakes her head.

“What? Why are you laughing?” I ask, flustered by her reaction. “Is it a sex thing?”

Rema wipes away a tear of laughter and grins at me. “No, it’s not a sex thing.”

“Then what does it mean?” My words come out in an anxious squeak.

The lift doors start to slide shut, and Rema gives me an evil wink. “Good luck, Paul.”