Chapter 42
42
“ E veryone, I have an announcement to make!” I shout over the boisterous din of conversation echoing off the walls of the mess hall.
“Is it that I’m getting a raise? Because I think I’m due one after all the improvements I’ve made to our ship,” Tari says, taking a large swig from her glass, then pouring more into it from one of the fancy bottles we liberated from Frea’set’s stash.
I roll my eyes at the nexxit. “Tari, we all split the costs and profits evenly. You agreed to that when you joined the crew.”
She sighs melodramatically. “Yes, but one of us has a companion who hasn’t been paying for any of the ship expenses, so it’s only fair that– mphf .”
Val leans in and cuts her off with a kiss, which is good because I was a second away from tearing her arms off for whining about Paul after everything he’s done to help us.
I take a sip of my wine and try to compose myself. “What I was going to say was that I’ve asked Paul to stay, and he said yes.”
“Oh, how wonderful!” Val smiles brightly at Paul. “You’re a welcome addition to our crew. Right, darling?” she asks, giving Tari a pointed look.
“Yeah, I guess so,” the nexxit replies, making the urge to strangle her rise again.
“I promise I’ll do my share,” Paul says quickly. “I know I don’t really have any skills suited for being a, uh, pirate, but I’ll do whatever is needed. I promise I won’t be a burden.”
I open my mouth to protest his self-deprecation, but Yaz speaks before I can. His antennae flick and he cocks his head at Paul. “You were vital to three of our recent jobs. You have skills.”
“Yes! We’re happy to have you, Paul,” Rema says with a broad smile and Bret’u beside her nods.
“Well, okay, great!” Paul flushes, but looks pleased at the crew’s acceptance.
I knew he had nothing to worry about. Tari loves to complain, but if she truly was unhappy with Paul joining us, she’d do a lot more than whine that the expenses aren’t being split equally.
“We’re still heading back to Spire,” I say. “Everyone deserves some shore leave after what we’ve been through, and Paul needs to get his belongings.”
Tari perks up at the mention of visiting the station, and the rest of the crew seem equally excited about the prospect of relaxing.
“Any other announcements to share before we get wasted, Captain?” Rema asks playfully.
Something unexpected comes over me at her question. I’m bolstered by a potent combination of emotions—the rush after a high-stakes gambit, the relief that we made it out alive, and the love and support radiating off of my perfect partner standing by my side.
“Yes,” I blurt.
Paul turns to me, raising a confused brow.
I smile at him and reach out to take his hand in mine, the link between us giving me the extra boost to continue. “There’s something about myself that I’ve kept secret from you all. I was scared that it wouldn’t be well-received, but that was unfair of me to assume.”
“What do you mean?” Rema asks, her smile faltering. “What kind of secret?”
Vash’ka , out of everyone, she’s the one I feel the most guilty about hiding this from.
I swallow hard and I scan everyone’s faces, praying I’m not making a colossal mistake. But after everything we’ve been through together, it’s past time for me to put my trust in them.
Maybe that’s foolish after what happened with Frea’set. You’d think I’d want to close off even more after his betrayal. Instead, it made me realize that I’ll never truly know if someone can be trusted, so what’s the point in torturing myself over-analyzing every interaction. I have to let go of my search for a certainty I’ll never possess and accept the consequences–both good and bad–of allowing myself to trust.
Paul’s shock rises through my connection with his mind, mixed with his pride and love, when he realizes what I’m going to confess.
“I’m an empath,” I say, anxiety spiking inside me as soon as the words come out. I push forward before I lose my nerve. “I have limited abilities that allow me to sense emotions. Through touch.”
Tari lets out a wry laugh, “Hah, good one.”
“I’m serious. ”
Her eyes go wide and she takes a step back from me.
Esh’et , this was a mistake. I’ve scared her.
“I can’t believe you never told me,” Rema says, frowning. “All this time… Vash’ka , Hadrell.”
“I’m sorry,” I croak. Crushing disappointment threatens to make me crumple to the ground, but Paul wraps an arm around my waist, keeping me upright.
“He was scared to tell you!” Paul snaps, glaring between Tari and Rema. “His whole life, people told him to hide it. He’s still the same Hadrell you know, and love. He’s only ever used his abilities to help you, and if you can’t see that, then you aren’t worthy of being his friend.”
I blink at my fierce human, tears welling in my eyes. “Paul, you don’t have to–”
“Of course he’s the same. I didn’t say he wasn’t!” Rema protests, cutting me off. “I’m allowed to be sad that my best friend didn’t trust me enough to tell me.”
“Well, he’s telling you now,” Paul grumbles.
“It’s quite a useful skill to have,” Yaz says, antennae flicking with interest.
“Yes. It also explains the unique markers in your genetic code I could never figure out what they contributed to,” Bret’u says matter-of-factly, like it’s totally normal thing for zir to research.
“I guess.” A choked laugh bubbles out of me. At least neither one of them seems upset about my revelation.
“I admit I don’t know much about empathic powers, but I don’t see how that changes anything. Unless you were using them to manipulate us,” Val says calmly. “And I trust you wouldn’t do that.”
“I… I need some time to process this,” Tari sighs. “I know you’re the same, but it freaks me out that you can read my emotions.”
“If it helps at all, I’ve only ever used it to support you. I can’t make you do something you don’t want to do, and I won’t try to help again without your permission,” I say solemnly.
“Well…good,” Tari says, and to my surprise, she gives me a tentative half-smile.
There’s a long, awkward silence.
“Sorry for ruining the celebration,” I say with a grimace.
Paul shakes his head adamantly. “You didn’t ruin anything.”
“You didn’t.” Rema crosses the room, tugging me into a hug.
Her arms around me let the remnants of my fear and shame fall away, and I squeeze her back. “I’m sorry. I should’ve told you,” I murmur.
She snorts. “Yeah, probably. But what matters is that you told me when you were ready.” When she pulls back, she gives me a broad smile. “Okay, enough about how you have a partner and fancy mind powers. Let’s have some fun!”
The rest of the crew lets out a cheer, and the drama of my confession melts away as bottles are passed around.
I down the rest of my drink, grateful for the change of subject, but more than a little shocked at how… anticlimactic that was.
Paul wraps his arms around me. “I’m so proud of you, l’thran . That was so fucking brave.”
My heart flutters at his praise. “Hey, that’s my line,” I tease.
He laughs and kisses me softly. “Yes, but you deserve to hear it, too.”
“Tell me again what you said when the agent laughed when they saw you,” Hadrell says, wrapping their arm around my waist and pressing a kiss to my heated cheek.
“It was so cool!” Tari exclaims, gesturing wildly with her lower hands and accidentally sloshing her drinks and knocking into Yaz, who flutters his wings and takes a quick step away before she gesticulates into his torso again. “He was all cold and ‘I don’t think this is a laughing matter, do you?’”
Val places a hand on Tari’s shoulder. “Darling… maybe let Paul tell it himself?” The vuloi’s eyes are slightly glazed, the only sign that she’s four drinks deep in this impromptu celebration.
I chuckle and shake my head, secretly glad I don’t have to recount it again. “No, it’s fine! I think I blacked out a little, so you probably remember what happened better than I do.”
“Well, you were amazing,” Rema says as she pours more bubbling amber liquor into my glass, despite it being half-full already. “It was honestly pretty sexy,” she adds with a wink, stepping away before Hadrell can smack her.
Both Bret’u and Hadrell let out growls of protest at her comment and she laughs. “What? I’m mated, but I’m not dead. Paul is hot. Right?” She looks at the rest of the crew for confirmation.
Val nods. “Yes. Definitely.” The prim way she agrees makes me think she’s saying it to be polite.
“Eh, I’ve seen hotter,” Tari shrugs. She gives Val a dreamy look, who beams at the attention.
“I don’t know if it’s appropriate to comment on the sexual appeal of someone with a partner,” Yaz says with a slight frown.
Bret’u tugs Rema against zir and huffs. “It’s not.”
“Based on what I’ve seen of Paul, he is a more than adequate mate for Hadrell,” Yaz says.
Hadrell tips my chin to look up at them. “Definitely more than adequate,” they murmur, sending a pulse of heat through me .
“I can only hope of finding a partner that wishes to copulate as frequently as Paul,” Yaz continues, and my face flames even brighter as the others laugh and Hadrell gives Yaz a warning glare.
“Yaz, if you want, I can lend you Dill. I won’t be needing it.” Tari points to the sex bot currently holding a tray of snacks. Every time it comes near me, I flinch away from its creepy tentacles and Hadrell instinctively grips my hip tighter.
“Really?” Yaz’s antennae flick toward the bot with interest. “That would be wonderful! I have a lot of questions to ask it.”
Tari snorts. “Uh, that’s not what I meant, but sure.”
My attention drifts away as the rest of the crew discusses what kind of questions Yaz has for a sex bot, drawn solely to the spot where Hadrell’s fingers are brushing against my waist. They dip under the hem of my shirt to scrape a talon along my bare flesh.
I look up at them, suddenly desperate to be alone. This party has been fun, but we had no time alone since we got back to the ship and got away from Frea’set’s satellite as quickly as we could without arousing the Coalition agents’ suspicion.
“I’m feeling a little overstimulated, l’thran ,” Hadrell says, his eyes flaring brighter. “Can we head back to our quarters?”
“Oh! Sure, of course.”
They extend a hand to me and I take it, letting them tug me toward the exit from the mess hall.
“Wait, are we not going to say anything before we go?” I ask, looking back at the group that’s now formed a circle around Dill. They’re taking turns trying to toss snack rings onto its wriggling tentacles.
Hadrell snorts. “No. Otherwise Rema will guilt us into another round of drinks and somehow we’ll all end up naked and racing Dill down the corridor.”
I raise a brow at Hadrell .
“Wild things happen when you drink with Rema,” they say, shrugging. “We can stay if you want to.”
“No! No, I’m good. I don’t want to be naked around anyone but you.”
Hadrell drags their gaze up and down my body, a wicked grin curving their lips. “I seem to recall you telling me in great detail how much you’d like to be watched.”
I glance back over at the group, checking to see if they overheard him, but thankfully they’re too busy cheering and cursing at the sex bot. “Well, yes, but… that was…”
Hadrell steps closer and cups my cock over my pants, his body blocking the touch from being seen by the others. “Then why are you so hard talking about it?”
“F-fuck, okay, yes, I want that.” I glance over his shoulder. “But not with the crew.”
He steps back and smiles. “That would be pretty awkward. They are already too interested in you, and if they saw how pretty you look when you come, it would make things much worse.”
I sputter at their words and Hadrell chuckles, tugging me toward the exit again.
The ride in the lift to our quarters feels slower than usual, and Hadrell’s heated gaze and the arousal that’s flooding into me through our connected hands has me ready to shove them against the wall and rip their clothes off.
Leilit is fast asleep in her bed when we get inside our quarters, and she doesn’t stir at the sound of our voices. All the treats Val gave her when I was negotiating with the Consortium agents apparently put her into a food coma. Her little snores reassure me she’s fine, and when I turn back to Hadrell, they’re already naked.
In the low light, their saelit glows even brighter, as do the constellation tattoos adorning the underside of their pecs.
Every inch of them is perfect. “God, you’re stunning,” I murmur, stepping closer to them, reaching out to trace the glowing tattoos on their chest.
Hadrell places their hand over mine, the mismatched white and green glow of their eyes watching me as we linger in the tension between us for a few breaths.
When I first saw a seladin in the flesh, their larger bodies, sharp teeth, glowing eyes, and deadly talons triggered an instinctive fear inside me. There’s still a flicker of that instinct when Hadrell looks at me like they want to devour me, but it only amplifies my desire.
“How do you want this, l’thran ?” Hadrell rasps, holding my gaze.
A million images flood my mind, my body eager to enact all of them. “Whatever you want,” I exhale, desperate for anything Hadrell will give me.
They drop their lips to my throat, sucking on the delicate skin there until I cry out. “I want you inside me,” they whisper against my neck.
I groan at the thought of being inside their slick-soaked heat, and he chuckles. “Have you been aching to stretch my cunt, Paul?”
“God, yes. I ache for you. All the time.”
Hadrell steps back and moves over to the bed, getting on their hands and knees with no further preamble. “What are you waiting for?” they ask, grinning over their shoulder. “Come over here and give me your cock.”
Never one to resist a command from them, I tear off my clothing and fling it to the side. As I step up behind them and see how soaked with slick they are, I groan, running a finger across their entrance reverently.
Hadrell sighs and presses their hips back in a clear invitation. “If you’re not inside me soon, I’ll have to punish you, fa’sli . ”
My breath hitches and I nod, but there’s a flicker of doubt creeping into my mind as I fist my cock and guide it toward his dripping hole. My cock is decently sized for a human’s, but I’ve seen pictures of seladin dicks. As well as other alien penises.
How am I meant to measure up to that? Everything we’ve done so far hasn’t required my dick to be impressive, and I don’t want to disappoint Hadrell if I can’t fuck them the way they need.
When I continue to hesitate, Hadrell rolls over and scoots closer until they’re sitting on the edge of the bed. Their brow furrows in concern as they reach out to stroke my thigh. “We don’t have to do anything you’re not comfortable with, Paul.”
I shake my head. “Fuck, it’s not that I’m not comfortable with it. I want to. It’s just…” I gesture down at my cock and let out a weak laugh. “You see what I’m working with. I don’t know how good it’ll be for you, even if I manage to not come the second I’m inside you. So maybe it’d be better to stick to what we know works well.”
I brace myself for Hadrell to agree, wishing my ego wasn’t tied to my dick at all.
Instead, he reaches out and wraps a hand around my cock, tugging it closer to his face so he can inspect it.
“Hmm, let’s see.” He strokes his thumb along the underside of my shaft, then focuses on the head of my dick, tracing the curve of my tip, then teasing the small slit as a bead of pre-cum leaks out.
“Wh-what are you doing?” I ask, breath hitching as they thumb my frenulum.
“I’m determining if your cock is good enough to fuck me with,” Hadrell says, their fingers circling around my shaft like they’re testing my girth.
A rush of embarrassment washes over me, but it only makes my cock stiffen more.
“O-okay,” I pant .
Their touch returns to the head of my cock. “This right here, how bulbous the tip is, that’s very good.”
“It is?” I ask, biting my lip at the pleasure of their touch and praise.
“Mmm, yes. And the length looks to be just right for hitting my pleasure spot,” they say, giving the shaft a teasing pump.
“O-oh. Really?” My breath hitches again as they turn their gaze away from my cock to look me in the eye.
“Yes. This perfect cock belongs to me, doesn’t it?” They kiss the head of my dick and it bucks, earning a laugh.
“Fuck, yes, it’s yours,” I groan as Hadrell lets go and leans back a bit.
“Then be a good fa’sli and give it to me before I pin you down and take what I need.”
Spurred on by their praise and challenge, I don’t hesitate when they move back to their hands and knees, gripping their hip with one hand to steady them as I press my cock against their entrance and sink inside.
“Shit!” I curse as their wet, tight channel threatens to push me over the edge.
Hadrell presses back against me and my cock slides in the rest of the way, making us both cry out.
“I was right,” Hadrell says, their breath slightly ragged as I attempt to compose myself before moving again. “It hits just the right spot.” They grind their hips backward and moan, and now that I’m not about to blow my load, I can feel the spot they’re talking about, as well as the small round piercing.
“God, it does,” I groan, wondering what it would feel like if they turned the vibrations on. I doubt I’d be able to handle it.
“Fuck me,” Hadrell commands, and I’m helpless but to obey.
My thrusts are slow and measured at first, each one seeking that spot inside him, waiting for him to gasp or sigh when my cock hits it, but that’s not enough for Hadrell. He meets each pump of my hips with his own press backwards.
“I told you to fuck me, fa’sli ,” he growls back over his shoulder. “Harder. Make me come.”
I reach down and tangle a hand in their silky white hair, using it as leverage as I slam inside them, giving them everything I have until they’re gasping and writhing on my cock, channel clenching as their orgasm approaches.
They look over their shoulder at me, and the blissful grin on their face as I pound into them makes it hard to hold my release back.
“ Vash-ka , that’s it. Just like that. Ah, you’re doing so well. Keep going.”
I’m grunting with each brutal thrust, sweat slicking my brow from the exertion and teeth grinding together as I desperately hold off my orgasm.
“F-fuck, you feel so good, sir.” Their title slips from my lips and they groan, gripping me like a vise.
“Not yet,” he rasps. “You’ll come when I’m ready.”
“ Ungh , shit.” My moan sounds pathetic, but I don’t stop thrusting.
After a few agonizing moments of forcing myself to stay on the precipice, Hadrell curses and bucks against me as a gush of their slick floods their channel.
I release a guttural shout and my cock erupts, pumping hot ropes of cum inside them as we both gasp and shudder through our orgasms.
Hadrell collapses forward onto their chest as he continues to convulse around my cock, milking everything from me and refusing to let me go .
I pant, attempting to catch my breath as I come down from the blinding pleasure. When I slip my softening cock out, I groan at the sight of my cum mixed with Hadrell’s slick, unable to resist the urge to bend down and get a taste of it.
Hadrell shivers and sighs, letting me lick their entrance for a few moments before rolling over onto their back.
They grin up at me lazily, skin flushed in the afterglow of their release. “See? I told you. Perfect.”