Space for Growth (Spire Station #3)

Chapter 43

43

I t’s early in the next cycle when Paul and I are done with our games, fucking until we’re both too tired to continue. We haul ourselves out of bed and help clean each other, then change the sheets before collapsing back into bed, Leilit snuggled between us as we drift off to sleep.

I wake some time later to the little rascal chewing on my hair, and carefully extricate my limbs from where they’re tangled around Paul to scoop her up with a whispered chastisement. Staying mad at Leilit is impossible, though. The moment she looks at me with pathetic eyes and her antennae droop, I melt, kissing the top of her fluffy head.

Once I’ve fed Leilit and checked that her waste area is clean and she has plenty of water, I tuck her into her bed and she settles back down with a sleepy sigh.

I linger for a moment, taking in the sight of Paul tucked in my bed, safe, relaxed, and thoroughly fucked.

Emotion clogs my throat for the millionth time in the past few cycles. I can’t believe he’s here. That we made it through everything and somehow came out of it unscathed. For all my talk of delusion, even I could never have imagined that the human I brought home on a drunken whim and accidentally kidnapped would end up stealing my heart.

The rest of what’s happened was equally wild, but I’m used to outlandish jobs and getting double-crossed—though maybe not to quite the same extent.

Loving someone and knowing that they love me in return?

That’s uncharted territory. The most exhilarating and frightening adventure that I never dared hope for.

Yet Paul is here with me, and he’s mine. More brilliant and wonderful than any of the dreams I tried to ignore.

I blink and a tear rolls down my cheek. I’m glad Paul’s not awake to see me crying over how happy I am he’s here.

I check my comm as I attempt to compose myself before getting back into bed. Everything still looks calm. We’re headed back toward Spire, monitoring system broadcasts for any alerts on our ship, but there’s nothing. If anything, from the comm logs over the past few hours, it looks like any Consortium ships we’ve passed within hailing range have studiously ignored our presence.

I grin, eyes darting back over to Paul.

Stars, he’s amazing. I handled the stuff with Frea’set, but he’s the reason we’re able to head back to civilization for a while instead of hiding back near Gryxyx.

Speaking of civilization, it should be safe to re-enable Paul’s comm to receive and transmit long-range messages. There’s a selfish part of me that wants to keep him disconnected and to myself for longer, but I shake that away and pick his comm up and turn off the blocks.

Immediately, it buzzes with a deluge of incoming messages.

A conversation labeled urgent pops open, and I have to put a hand over my mouth to muffle the shocked sound that escapes me.

Mezli: Whoever is reading this, know that when I find you, you will wish you’d never laid a hand on Paul.

Mezli: No, you’re going to wish you’d never been born after I’m through with you.

Mezli: But I won’t grant you the mercy of death.

Mezli: You may think you know pain, but I’m mated to two doctors who can make your blood boil from the inside, all while keeping you awake and alive so you experience every excruciating moment.

Mezli: I’m coming for you.

Despite how terrifying her messages are, it warms my heart knowing the lengths Paul’s friends would go to for him. And more than a bit guilty for being the reason they’ve been worried.

There’s a stream of messages from Mezli and her mates, Eden and Phelix. As well as multiple comms from Fina and her partner Maerlon. Many more from work and a handful from names I don’t recognize.

I hate to bother Paul with this, but I don’t want to read any more or reply without his permission. Maybe I’ll put the block back up. They’ve waited this long to hear from him. Surely a few more hours won’t hurt .

I’m about to re-enable the block when his comm lets out a high pitched buzzing sound. I curse and try to disable it, but Paul shoots up in bed, bleary-eyed.

“Shit, what’s going on? Are they firing on us? Oh god, I knew I messed it up.” He shoves the covers back and tries to get out of bed, but they tangle around his legs and he tumbles over.

His confused panic reminds me of when he woke up to the ship alarm all those cycles ago, and I stifle an inappropriate laugh.

“Whoa! Easy there, everything’s alright. I was re-enabling long distance transmissions for your comm, and it must’ve also reactivated your alarm.” I finally turn the noise off and go to Paul’s side, helping him up off the floor.

“Are you sure everything’s fine?” Paul asks, trying to blink away the sleep from his eyes as he looks up at me.

I press a soft kiss to his lips, loving the way his beard scrapes against my chin as our mouths part. “Yes, l’thran . Let’s go back to bed.”

He yawns, but shakes his head. “I should probably reply to any messages I received while my comm wasn’t reachable. Ugh, this is going to be fun. Can’t wait to find out how long it took for me to get fired.”

My stomach sinks at his words.

Vash-ka , I tore Paul from his life. Endangered him multiple times. Encouraged him to lie to the Consortium.

Dread creeps in. Does Paul only want to stay with me because he has no other options now?

Paul goes over to the table and picks up his comm. “Want to bet on the number of cycles it took? I’m thinking five—Whoa, hey, what’s that look for?”

“I’m so sorry,” I blurt. “You got fired because of me. I’ll help you get your job back, or find you an even better one—I don’t care how many favors I need to call in and who I need to bribe. I’ll figure it out.”

Paul’s face scrunches. “Why would you need to do that?”

“You shouldn’t stay with me because you have to,” I say, doing my best to keep my emotion out of my voice and failing when it cracks.

Paul sets his comm down and closes the space between us again. “I know that, l’thran. I want to stay. You’re stuck with me, whether or not I’m fired. I’ve spent enough time sitting behind a desk. I’m ready to live my life. With you.” He rises onto his toes and kisses me. There’s no heat to the kiss, only a steady, eager love that casts away any shadows of worry or doubt.

“Thank the stars,” I say, beaming down at him. “I was bluffing about being able to get you a better job. I have no idea how to do that.”

Paul snorts and smacks my chest playfully. When he picks up his comm again, he grimaces at the number of notifications. “382 missed messages from Mezli?” He shakes his head in disbelief.

“Apparently, when she finds whoever took you, she’s going to torture them.”

He swipes her messages open. “God, I knew she was bloodthirsty, but this is extreme even for Mezli.” He closes that chat and opens another, and there’s a flash of something vulnerable and surprised in Paul’s expression that has me moving to his side.

I place a hand on his shoulder, and he glances up at me with unshed tears shining in his eyes.

Paul gives me a watery smile and blinks, wiping the moisture away and sniffing softly. “They’re all so worried. I didn’t realize…didn’t think that they’d…” He swallows hard. “That they cared that much.”

I cup his cheek. “How could they not? They’re your friends. Anyone who has you in their life would feel the ache of losing you.”

“God, you say the sweetest things,” Paul murmurs, placing his hand over mine.

“Only because they’re true,” I reply.

I can feel him through our connection, struggling to accept the words, but they take hold after a few moments. The smile and small nod he gives me make my chest expand with pride.

“You might be right.” Paul opens another message and chuckles. “Even Phelix messaged multiple times, and I thought he still hated me.”

“Need help replying to people?” I offer. “It seems unfair that you have to deal with that all on your own when it was my fault.”

“Yeah, that’d be great. Not to my friends, but to everything else…You sure you don’t mind?” Paul asks, brow furrowing a touch.

“ L’thran , I’d do anything for you.”

Paul’s gaze softens and despite how late we were up, and how many times we both came, desire flickers to life in his eyes.

I doubt he’ll be able to actually focus on sex with all these unanswered messages hanging over his head, though, so I give him a teasing smile. “Well, anything except talk to Mezli. I didn’t realize how scary she was when we were sleeping together.”

Paul’s mouth falls open. “You’ve had sex with Mezli?”

“Um, yes?” My answer comes out like a question. “Should I not have told you that? I’m sorry! I assumed you’d slept with her, too.”

“What? No!” Paul flushes. “She taught me about alien sex, but it wasn’t, uh, hands on.”

I chuckle. “My mistake.” I can only imagine what that wild nexxit taught him. “Truly, I’m sorry. I won’t bring it up again.”

Paul shakes his head. “I’m not upset. I know you’ve been with a lot of people. You just surprised me. Now it makes more sense why you helped her with that trouble with Phelix and Eden. And why you were at her wedding. Wait, I can’t believe Phelix was cool with you being at their bonding!” He huffs indignantly. “That guy hated me, and Mezli and I never even went on our date.”

“You had a date planned?” I ask, curious.

“Yeah, but nothing happened.”

Something clicks in my mind. “Is that why you were so sad at the wedding? Were you in love with her?”

Paul snorts and shakes his head. “No, I wasn’t in love with Mezli. It was more the feeling that everyone was leaving me behind. Of continuously not being someone’s first choice.”

No wonder I was drawn to Paul that night cycle. I remember feeling like I was looking at a mirror of my suppressed emotions, but the details of our drunken confessions are still a blur. Maybe we’ve already had a similar conversation, but I’m glad to have forgotten it because now his words aren’t so bleak.

“And look at you now,” I say.

My handsome human grins at me. “Yeah.” His voice carries a touch of awe. “Thank you for deciding to talk to the pathetic man moping at the bar. I’m sure there were plenty of other options.”

I laugh. If there were, I can’t recall them. “Best decision of my life.”

His eyes grow watery again and he sets his comm down, standing and wrapping his arms around me. “I love you so much.”

I squeeze him tight, basking in the way we fit together. “You’ll always be my first choice, l’thran .”