Chapter 9
The orchestra strings and winds were intermixing melodies that I would normally enjoy. This time they brought tears to my eyes. As the notes were hit and crescendos flowed, my tears dropped silently and slowly. If you didn’t know what I was going through, you’d think the music was moving me to tears.
I was so full of sadness and anger over the whole Emmett situation. Sadness that someone I had thought was my friend, someone I had trusted with secrets and my body, betrayed me so deeply and thoroughly. Anger that I let myself be a pawn in a man’s game. Anger that I had been so completely blinded by a good-looking man I was considering risking not only my future, but my family’s future as well.
Never again will I let someone in so wholly. I truly thought Emmett, or should I say Holden, cared about me. I could have sworn I saw pain in his eyes when I was confronting him. No matter, he would be out of my life for good now.
I could focus on what I came here to do; marry Cameron and have babies. The thought of that made me readjust in my seat, pulling away from Cameron’s arm casually wrapped around my shoulder. He didn’t even look at me as he now rested his hand on my leg.
I needed a plan to get over Emmett and quick. If I didn’t think about him long enough, eventually my feelings for him would disappear. If I could find a distraction, something to occupy the part of my brain that held Emmett, I would be set.
The orchestra played one last song that ended too soon. The lights in the theater came on and everyone applauded. I knew once we were in the car alone, Cameron would want answers and I didn’t know what I would tell him. I couldn’t very well tell him the whole truth, but he also knew too much that I couldn’t skirt around what Emmett and I had done. I was hoping that Cameron would be like me and want to put the whole ordeal behind him and move on.
On the way out of the theater, arm in arm with Cameron, an older couple stopped us. The man was unremarkable, dressed in a tux, as was every other man in attendance with nothing astounding setting him apart from anyone else. The woman on his arm though was stunning.
As Cameron and the man exchanged pleasantries, I took the older woman in. Her graying hair was pulled into a bun at the base of her head, showing off her strong shoulders and very defined collar bone. Her dress was black silk, fitting like a glove, looking like it was made only for her to wear. Her blue eyes shone with years of wisdom and lessons learned.
“Charlotte, this is Hugh Montgomery and his wife Elsa.” Hugh stuck his hand out to me. I shook his hand and then Elsa’s. “This is my fiancée, Charlotte,” he said as I exchanged greetings with the couple. “We just need to discuss business real quick,” Cameron said before he kissed me on the top of the head and walked away with Hugh.
Elsa causally informed me, “Men. They do this all the time. As if they won’t spill the beans to us on the drive home.” She gave me a light smile. “Are you new to the city? I don’t think I have ever seen you around.” Elsa had this calming energy about her.
“I moved to Chicago recently. This is the first time I’ve come out since I’ve been here.” I realized it sounded like I was locked away, so I tried to correct myself. “I meant, this is the first event we have been to publicly. I don’t know anyone in the city, so I have been keeping to myself for the most part.” Which isn’t technically true, but it’s not like I can tell her I have been to Le Mier or the planetarium. I needed to deflect the attention away from me and back to her. “How long have you lived in the city?” She seemed more than happy to answer my question.
She had to think for a moment while doing the mental math. “It’ll be 20 years next month.” She let out a “phew” as she laughed. “I just aged myself, huh?” We both let out a giggle.
“I won’t tell anyone.” I said as I made a cross on my heart, “Cross my heart.” That made her smile shine through. Elsa absolutely beamed when she fully smiled.
“Have you made any friends since coming to the city?” The only person I considered a friend had just betrayed me. Maggie didn’t really count as a friend since we had never gotten together after she was done working. Nathaniel was also on my list of lying liars that would get an earful the next time I saw him.
“No. I have just been keeping myself entertained.” Worry clouded her eyes. Being new in town was hard and it was even harder when you were out of your element and not sure how to navigate anything in your new environment. Elsa moved in closer and lowered her voice as she spoke, as if she was revealing a secret only the two of us were to know.
“I remember when I first moved here. I didn’t know a soul. I was holed up in our house for a month before Hugh made me go out and have lunch with his golf buddy’s wife. She was so kind and welcoming. Because of her, I was able to flourish in Chicago society. She also encouraged me to open my own dance studio.” That would explain her shoulders. She had a dancer’s body. She took a step back as she fell into her regular talking voice, “Do you dance?” she asked.
“I don’t know if what I do would be considered dancing. It’s more of my body convulsing while music plays.” I had occasionally danced at parties and such, but nothing like they do in the movies. The coordinated steps were something I never could get the hang of. “I have cleared more than one dance floor in my life, and it was not in a good way.”
I was reminded of my cousin, Therese’s wedding. Everyone was having a good time on the dance floor while the music played. I started dancing, ended up falling and taking out the groom. He had a concussion from his head bouncing off the floor. I had a bruised ego. I don’t know which one of us was hurt worse.
“Sounds like you need some work,” Elsa said between laughs. “Why don’t you come to my dance studio, Elsa’s Ensembles, tomorrow. We can start your dance lessons and ‘Wow’ everyone at your wedding.” She was just too sweet. I couldn’t say no to her, no matter how much my pride wanted to remain intact.
“As long as you know the risks, I will accept that offer.” Her smile reappeared at my agreement. She grabbed both of my hands in hers as a little squeal escaped her throat.
The men reappeared from wherever they had gone to chat. “What’s with all the excitement?” Hugh asked as he wrapped his arm around Elsa’s waist, bringing her as close to him as possible.
“Charlotte here had agreed to dance lessons with me.” She was beaming up at him and he was equally as enamored with her. Hugh turned to me to gauge my reaction.
“I am a horrible dancer, so I really hope Elsa can perform miracles.” This made Hugh laugh. He had a hearty laugh that didn’t seem to match his looks, which were quite lackluster. What he lacked in appearance he made up for with his infectious laughing.
“She can be quite convincing when she wants to be.” Hugh said as he hugged Elsa tighter. “Maybe we should leave before she talks you into something else Cameron has to pay for.” With a smile on his face, he winked at me as he turned and walked away with Elsa tucked under his arm.
“You just charm everyone, don’t you?” I could hear the slight jab as Cameron said those words. His cool calm attitude made me think his even keeled demeanor was just an act until we would be alone.
I smiled at him, trying not to lose it right in the middle of the lobby where we’d have a captive audience. My hope of him dropping the subject seemed like a fantasy that would not come true. I didn’t want to face the consequences of my own actions.
The walk to the car was like walking to my own wake. There was a heaviness in the air between us as we approached the car. The chilly air showed as our breaths intermingled in clouds of white. He opened my door for me and practically slammed it on me, almost, before I was fully in the car. When he got in and slammed his door, I was surprised the glass didn’t break from the force.
I was shocked when the ride to my uncle’s house was quiet. My heart was racing, waiting for Cameron to say something in order to somehow start the conversation I knew was inevitable. He just stared out the window the whole ride, sitting as far away from me as possible.
It wasn’t good for me to stew in the madness that I was carrying. I was mad at myself, at Cameron and Emmett. I was mad at my parents for agreeing to this idiotic plan. I was mad at my Uncle Lon for existing, really. The more I thought about the last week or so, the more this ball of anger was building. I went from being scared to have this conversation to being ready to throw down the gauntlet as soon as Cameron said something.
When we got to my house, I yanked my door open, not waiting for Cameron or Marco to open it for me. I was at the door when Cameron had caught up to me. He opened the door before I could and barged in front of me, then proceeded to try shutting the door on me.
I was furious. I channeled all that anger and frustration as I slammed the door behind me when I entered the house. Cameron had disappeared, I hadn’t seen where he went once he entered the house. I had just taken my coat off when Cameron appeared in front of me. I still had my shoes on, dripping with a mixture of half melted snow and water.
Cameron grabbed the top of my arm so hard; I knew there would be a bruise there the next day. He dragged me into the study as my shoes slipped on the moister from both of our shoes making the floor wet. He prevented me from falling by grabbing my arm and yanking it even harder. My fiancé pushed me into the study so forcefully, I was lucky I had caught myself on the desk before I fell on the floor. Cameron entered the study and slammed the door so hard it made me jump.
I gripped the edge of the desk as I turned around to face a very angry Cameron stomping over to me. He grabbed my face in his hand forcing me to look at him as he spoke with deathly calm anger.
“Charlotte, you are going to tell me right now about the extent of your relationship with Holden.” His grip on my face getting tighter. “Trust me when I say this, if you lie to me, I will know it and there will be steep repercussions.” There was fury in his eyes as his chest was rapidly moving up and down.
I had to remember who I was. I wasn’t this scared little girl who needed Cameron’s approval for anything. The worst thing he could do was send me back to the farm, no worse than when I had left, minus a broken heart not caused by him. I refused to bow down to anyone.
“I will not tell you a damn thing.” I quickly threw my words back at him as I ripped his hand off my face. “What are you going to do, call off the wedding? Then what of your inheritance? Don’t you do everything your daddy tells you to?” I barely got the words out before the back of his hand hit my cheek. The sting of the contact made my eyes water as an audible gasp left my lips.
He just stood there, staring at me. Daring me to say anything. I instinctively raised my hand to my cheek, cupping it as I walked to the door. Before opening it, I turned to Cameron. “If you ever lay another hand on me, you won’t get it back along with your other appendages.” I heard glass shatter as I walked to the staircase across the foyer.
There had only been one other time that I was hit out of anger. It was the summer I had turned 19. A new man who had just been release from prison started working on the farm. Most of our farmhands had criminal pasts, so this was nothing new to us. Each farmhand was given the same speech as soon as they arrived on the farm; touch any of my father’s daughters and you would be six feet under, but not before certain body parts were cut off. The men always got the message loud and clear.
Well, this man, Henry, didn’t get the message. He found me alone in the barn one afternoon and ceased the opportunity to attack me. He came up behind me as I was bending down to pick up something I had dropped. He wrapped his arms around my arms and middle in a bear hug. “I have been waiting to get you alone since the moment I got here,” he whispered in my ear as I thrashed about.
I went to scream as he placed his hand over my mouth, preventing any sound escaping. “We wouldn’t want to draw attention to us, now, would we?” he said as if I wanted this to happen. I knew what he was going to do, and I wanted to prevent it with every fiber of my being.
In a state of panic, I whipped my head back, causing a crunching sound as my head connected with Henry’s nose. His arms immediately left my body as he let out a painful scream. With blood spurting out of his nose, spraying the top of my head, I ran to the barn door as fast as I could.
All the other farmhands that had been within hearing distance were running towards the barn. The look of horror was all over their faces as I emerged from the barn covered in blood. They thought I had hit my head by the amount of blood covering my hair. It wasn’t until Henry, angry and as mad as a bull at a bullfight, made his way out of the barn.
“Hold that crazy bitch while I teach her, her place,” he said as if these men would do anything to harm me, let alone sit by and watch as another man did. Henry was holding a handkerchief to his nose which did little to stop the flowing blood from pouring out.
Mitchel, an older gentleman, had been working on our farm for almost 10 years. He just looked at me and said, “Go inside, Lottie. Get cleaned up.” I hesitated for a second and Mitch barked “Now, Lottie!” I turned and did what he said.
I got inside our small farmhouse and found Mama in the kitchen baking as usual. There were a lot of mouths to feed on the farm and she cooked every single meal for all of us. She dropped her rolling pin as I walked through the door.
Running over to me with concern all over her face she grabbed my face to examine me. “I’m fine, Mama. I just… Henry.” I couldn’t form a full sentence through the sobs that burst forward. The adrenaline coursing through my body had started dissipating. Mama just held me in her arms and cried with me. When I didn’t think I had any more tears left to cry, Mama led me upstairs to the bathroom and ran a hot bath for me. I rinsed my hair out in the sink not wanting to sit in bloody water.
Mama helped me take my blood sprayed clothes off. She would later burn them that night. My father was in town when this incident took place. No one told him what happened because by the time he’d gotten home, Henry had left the farm, never to be heard from again. I had doubts he ever left the grounds.
I passed Maggie as I went to my room. I watched as she went into the study after hearing the glass breaking. I was too over everything to tell her Cameron was in there and he wasn’t in a good mood.
I went to bed as soon as I got changed into my nightgown. I didn’t even bother washing my face or doing any of the other nighttime routines I had started with all the products Claire had gotten me. I don’t think I ever tossed and turned so much in bed.