Chapter 37
MONTREAL, CANADA
“ I love how busy it gets in the paddock before qualifying,” Indy said to the camera as she held the microphone with one hand. “Everyone’s running around, and what’s most fascinating to me is seeing the drivers focus as they warm up. Look, there’s Rowan just finishing with his reflex exercises.”
Walking towards the driver dressed in his red racing suit, Scott was in tow with his camera hanging on his shoulder. Rowan grinned at Indy, and Tate, his physiotherapist, waved.
“On a scale from zero to ten, how confident are you feeling about qualifying?” she asked Rowan. “They’re predicting heavy rain, especially during Q2 and Q3.”
He winked. “But I’m quite the best in the wet. So, I’d say I’m pretty confident. Maybe a twelve out of ten.”
A laugh bubbled out of her. “We should all have your confidence. It’s great to see.”
“Yeah, you know I almost died the last time we raced here, so my plan is to tell the Canadian gods who seem to hate me that I’m going to win this Grand Prix.”
“Well, good luck!” She turned to the camera. “Remember to tune in at three-thirty p.m. for a quick debrief before the qualifying starts at four p.m. local time. Who’s going to be on pole? Make sure to answer the poll we posted on our social media.”
“Sorry to interrupt!” Miles rushed past the pair standing in the middle of the paddock, handing Indy an iced matcha latte before scurrying off.
“I told you to wait until she was done with her interviews!” Ava scolded, running after him.
Indy blinked down at the drink in her hand, then looked up at Rowan who was smiling so broadly that his dimples popped. He gave a dramatic sigh, glancing at the camera. “Isn’t Miles Huxley the most romantic man ever?”
Indy couldn’t hold the furious blush staining her cheeks. “Okay. Well, good luck, Rowan.”
The tattooed driver grinned. “Thanks, Indy. Nice chatting with you.”
She chuckled, walking away. “Likewise.” She focused on the camera again. “Before we go and find Charlie Beaumont, let’s make a quick pit stop in front of Primavera Racing’s motorhome because I’m spotting A?da Romano chatting with her press officer. If you didn’t know yet, A?da is making her debut in a Formula 1 in about an hour during FP3. The first female to ever sit in a Primavera!”
Seeing A?da dressed in a racing suit, her usually curly hair tied in a loose braid, and determination shining in her gaze, made Indy’s chest warm with pride. Sure, A?da was the daughter of Simon Romano, but she wasn’t here because of that. She’d worked hard to earn her place as a reserve driver for the team all the while competing in F2.
“Hello, Miss Romano,” Indy greeted breezily as she came to stand beside the brunette. A?da’s blue eyes were always cold as ice, but as she gave a small smile to Indy, her gaze softened. “How are you feeling?”
“Nervous, but excited,” A?da replied.
“A lot of fans are going to tune in to watch you get inside the car for the first time. Do you have any expectations?”
“This is not helping with my nerves,” A?da responded with a nervous chuckle. “But I just want to familiarise myself with the car. Get it to move forward. Have fun.”
“You’ll do great! Any words you’d like to say to the people watching you today?”
“I do. Especially to the girls and women.” Turning to the camera, she said, “Do not give up on your dreams. Do not listen to what the people have got to say about your goals. You want to work in sports? Do it. You want to walk a runway fashion show? Do it. This your life, your dreams, and the only limit is yourself.”
“I love this,” Indy said, looping her arm through A?da’s. “Life’s too short to have regrets. Take the leap, girls.”
“Amen.”
Indy smiled, hoping that hers and A?da’s message would spread around the world. Would encourage women to grasp their bravery in the palm of their hands and step out of their comfort zone. “This is a message to all the female fans watching all around the world. We, women, belong here. We’re going to change the world, and we are here to stay.”
Watching Miles behind the wheel of his car was completely captivating.
The way he controlled the vehicle with clean precision.
The way he rushed through the track under the pouring rain, sending the drizzle to the cars behind.
The way he managed to regain control if he ever slipped after taking a corner too widely.
Rowan hadn’t lied yesterday when he’d said he was the best in the rain. After making the fastest lap, he secured pole position easily. Miles had qualified second, but Miles was an extraordinary driver and especially during a race start. Within seconds, he was ahead of Rowan.
He’d been leading the race ever since.
Part of Indy was thrilled for a wet race. They were unpredictable. Exciting.
But another part of her was terrified, because crashes often occurred when the rain was this constant and violent.
It was on lap thirty-nine that chaos unravelled for Miles.
I’m losing power, was what he said to his race engineer.
In fact, his car was slowing down.
Indy frowned, uncaring of the wind rustling her hair and the coldness of the air hitting her cheeks. Her grip around the umbrella she was holding tightened,and her heart sank when she read the transcription from the radio exchange.
I’m sorry , AJ said. You’re going to have to retire.
Bloody hell, Miles commented. What happened here?
I’m not sure. We’ll talk once you’re back in the garage.
Miles’ car stopped on the side of the track, a yellow flag instantly brandished in the air at the disturbance. Indy sighed, trying to keep her expression neutral, though the twist of her heart was agonising.
When he got out of the car, taking his gloves off, his shoulders were low, deception emanating from his demeanour.
Indy wanted to rush to him. Hold him. Tell him it was okay. But she kept her journalist mask on and checked the time. Only a few hours until she could find him.
It was dark when she stepped outside, shivering as she clutched her laptop to her chest. She walked through the empty paddock, that nostalgic feeling of leaving a Grand Prix behind clinging to her heart.
Frowning, she made a detour and stopped before Imperium Racing’s motorhome where Henry Huxley was typing on his phone, leaning against the wall.
“Hi,” she said sweetly. “You guys are still here?”
Henry smiled as his gaze collided with Indy’s, pocketing his phone. She loved the fact that he was attending most of the races to support Miles. “Miles got out of debrief a couple of minutes ago, so he should be out in a few. I was thinking of taking him out to grab a bite. Maybe you could join us?”
“I’d like that. Thank you.” She smiled at the tall man before her. "How are you doing?”
Maybe he hadn’t expected her to address this question to him because his brows shot up for a beat. “I’m good. Gutted for Miles, but this is what racing is about. It’s going to take a moment for him to understand that, but you know how he is.”
She glanced towards the motorhome where she spotted Miles standing with David, his team principal, and Ava. Miles and David exchanged a hug before the latter walked away. “Yeah…”
“He told me about Erica.” Henry cleared his throat. “That a woman claiming to be Erica came up to you in Monaco. You okay?”
“I’m alright. I was just scared for him.”
Henry glanced away. “She, uh… I saw that woman from afar. I really thought I was dreaming, and all those memories from the past came back, and—anyway, I was really curious so I looked into Erica. Just needed to know where she was at. What she was doing in life. Turns out she passed away two years ago.”
Indy’s heart stopped. She nearly dropped her belongings to the glistening ground. Nearly let her eyes bulge out.
“What?” she whispered.
Henry blew out a breath. “Overdose. I still don’t know who that woman in Monaco was, but all I know is that she did some digging into our past and gathered enough information to know about Erica. I hope she never approaches you or Miles ever again. I don’t think she will, though.”
“This is so confusing. I’m guessing she came up to me because I wouldn’t have recognised her.”
“That’s what I’m thinking. She probably thought you’d be easy to manipulate.”
She shook her head. “Does Huxley know about his mum?”
“I told him the day I found out. I think he’s relieved in a way. I know I am. Erica was unhappy. She was depressed and anxious. Had severe bipolar disorder, but she didn’t want any help. I just hope she’s at peace now.”
After all she’d done to him, to Miles and Maya, Henry could still find a good thing to say about her.
“I’m sorry,” Indy murmured.
“Don’t be. We can all move on now.”
“Are you really okay?”
“Totally.” His smile was soft. “I’m finally happy, Indy. I never thought I’d feel this way again. I’m seeing someone, and she’s wonderful. She’s a bit younger, has one kid she’s been raising on her own, but she likes me for me. I hadn’t met someone like her in a while.”
Indy blinked, holding her tears in. She’d always been a sensitive person, but after an exhausting day? Tears could come out just at the thought of releasing all the pent-up stress. “I’m happy for you. Both you and Miles deserve the world. Can I give you a hug?”
“Of course. Come here, darling.”
Henry’s strong arms were a comfort around her. The embrace was quick but filled with gratitude and adoration. She smiled up at the man who’d raised the most wonderful human being she knew, and took a steadying breath in.
“You’re an amazing person,” he told her, holding her upper arms. “Miles is so lucky to have you. I know he’s beyond proud of your achievements. You’re all he talks about. You brought him back to life, and you have no idea how much it means to me that you see him for who he truly is. My son loves you very much.”
She swallowed the knot in her throat. When she looked over Henry’s shoulder, she saw Miles through the window, leaning against the wall and nodding at whatever Ava was saying then laughing heartily. “He hasn’t told me yet.”
“He’s not big with words or gestures. But you, Indy? There’s no doubt that he’s in love with you. He’s not going to let you go.”
The door to the motorhome opened, preventing her from speaking. Not that there was much she could have said anyway—the confession had rendered her speechless.
“Ind.” It was Ava. “Miles is asking for you.”
“Can I go in there?”
“Yes. Most of the team has already left, anyway.”
Henry rubbed her arm. “Let’s meet in the parking lot when you two are done, okay? No rush. Ave, do you and Rowan want to have dinner with us? Hell, why don’t you text Tito and Kam too? Charlie can obviously join. My treat.”
Ava beamed. “I’d love that! Let me show Indy to Miles’ room and then I’ll text the group chat.”
“Sounds great.”
When Ava stopped in front of Miles’ room, mischief glinted in her eyes. “Just a heads-up, Ind, try and be quiet.”
Indy’s brows knitted together in confusion. “Sorry?”
Ava shrugged and turned on her heel, grinning. “I’ll see you in a bit!”
The door opened before she could even knock, and Miles pulled her into his driver’s room by the wrist.
“Hi,” he said quietly, locking the door.
There was anguish, frustration, and disappointment woven into his tone. Indy deposited her belongings on a nearby chair and embraced Miles tightly. He fell into her touch, into her, exhaling deeply as his grip tightened around her waist.
“Hi, baby,” she whispered. He’d changed out of his racing suit a while ago, his fresh scent swivelling around them like a bubble of solace. “What’s up?”
“Why are you still here? I thought we agreed on meeting up at the hotel.”
She gestured to her laptop. “I was busy.”
Miles sighed, tucking a rogue strand of hair behind her ear. “My hardworking girl. Did you have a good day?”
“I did. And you?”
He shrugged, plopping onto the sofa tucked in the corner of the room. She’d never been inside a driver’s room before, but it was exactly how she imagined it to be: a massage table for post-race stretching and exercises, a table where he could eat, a small sofa, and a few photos hung on the wall.
“Can I tell you something?”
Shrugging her coat off and laying it on the back of a chair, she nodded, though he was staring absently at the wall opposite him. “Are we answering questions with questions now?”
The corner of his lips tipped upwards. “I don’t know, are we?” He grabbed her hand and pulled her down to sit beside him. His voice was barely above a whisper when he spoke, like he needed this secret to stay confined within these four walls even though the motorhome was empty. “I need to tell you something. Not from a driver to a journalist. Just from me to you. Miles to Indy. Best friend to best friend.”
She beamed. “Best friend? Kai is going to make the biggest fuss when he learns about this.”
He chuckled, but it was evident that he was disturbed by whatever was rushing through his mind. He slumped back into the sofa, tipping his head back. She studied the strong column of his throat, the way it worked when he swallowed. “I trust you more than anyone. Like, you mean the world to me.”
She grabbed his hand, entwining their fingers together. His thumb rubbed her skin in gentle circles. “I trust you, too. What’s going on?”
“I was approached by Simon Romano.”
Indy let the piece of information run through her mind as her brows shot up. “Why?”
“He’s interested in me joining Primavera Racing.”
“But—you—Tito and Rowan—what? When?”
Green eyes brimmed with uncertainty found her gaze. “In the next couple of years, or so.”
She twisted in her seat to face him. “You’re considering taking up his offer.”
Miles shook his head. “I don’t know. I love Imperium Racing. I feel powerful in the car, with the team. But Primavera Racing is becoming stronger, and their car is almost as fast as ours. Give them another year or two, and one of the two drivers is going to become champion. I can feel Tito winning another championship soon.”
“That’s true.”
“Primavera Racing would offer me sixty million to race for them.”
She scoffed. “That’s a lot of money.”
“I don’t care about the money.”
“Right. They just need to give you a competitive car.”
He nodded subtly.
“Would you sign with them? Leave Imperium Racing?”
He shrugged, as if lost in his world.
Indy cradled his jaw, turning his face so he could look into her eyes. “Do you want to leave?”
“No.” There wasn’t a single hint of hesitation in the word.
“So what’s bothering you?” she asked softly. “I can sense that there’s something else. It’s because of the race, isn’t it?”
Miles swallowed. “Yeah. It’s—look,I know it’s how racing works. I’ve been in a car my whole life. But it’s not supposed to happen. I’m not allowed to fuck up, Indy. I’m not allowed to fail.”
“Hey. No. Don’t do this.” When she cupped his handsome face between both hands, he grabbed her waist to pull her onto his lap. She was straddling him, both knees on either side of his hips as she held his gaze. Sad. Woven with self-sabotage. Deception. Frustration. “Failing happens to everyone. Even to the best. You cannot blame yourself for an engine failure. For something that was out of your control. You had an excellent weekend until you had to retire from the race. You’re allowed to be angry and sad about DNFing, but it doesn’t mean you’re going to feel this way for the rest of the season. You’re the championship leader. You’re the best driver. You’re going to get back in that car in two weeks for the Spanish GP and show the world that you’re still here. The Lion is unbeatable, isn’t he? But he’s also a human being who’s allowed to fail from time to time.”
“But I’m just an F1 driver. It’s my job to stay consistent and?—”
“You’re so much more than just a Formula 1 driver,” she cut in firmly. “This is Indy speaking to Miles. By the way, I hate saying your first name.” He laughed heartily at that. “Not Indy the F1 journalist trying to cheer up the driver. You are a wonderful man, Huxley. You’re driven and naturally talented. You’re selfless, caring, loving even if you don’t necessarily see it. You’re a phenomenal person, even outside of racing. Don’t let anyone make you feel less than that.”
His forehead fell on her collarbone, his exhale warm against her skin. “How do you always find the right words to say?”
“I just don’t want you to think that you’re alone. Because you’re not.” She threaded her fingers through his hair, soft from the shower he’d recently taken. “I think you’ve been focusing on the negativity, and I know it’s inevitable when you make a mistake. But this wasn’t your fault. Sure, there’s always going to be people who want their favourite driver to beat Miles Huxley. Sure, there are some who are going to lash out on you and tell you that you deserved to DNF. But fuck them. You need to look on the other side, at the people who are certain that you’re going to be back in two weeks. That it’s not an engine failure that’s going to take the championship away from you.”
He sighed shakily and nodded. “You’re right.”
“I know I am. And honestly? People are always going to talk behind our backs no matter what we do. But here’s the thing, just walk forward and let them stay where they are, which is behind you, because their opinion doesn’t matter, okay? Let them talk about you. Let them have something to say.”
He sighed, nodding. “Thank you, baby. Your way of thinking is so sexy. I’m not going to let what happened today destroy me.”
Their foreheads gently collided, their noses brushing in a featherlight way that made her heart thunder. “I love you. And I’m so, so proud of you.”
Miles kissed her. “Say it again.”
“I love you,” she whispered against his mouth.
Regardless of her desperation to hear those exact words coming from him, Indy believed his devotion was equally strong with the way he kissed her. Softly. Languidly. As ifhe had all the time in the world. The way he touched her, his fingertips digging into the skin of her thighs like he needed to realise she was real.
The kiss turned more feverish, more passionate, when his tongue brushed against hers. When she pulled herself closer, feeling his hard bulge press the inside of her thigh. His rough hands brushed her legs, slipping beneath the hem of her dress that had ridden up, then cupped her ass.
“Huxley.”
“I love it when you say my name like that,” he rasped.
She tipped her head back when his lips skimmed her jaw and throat. “Your dad?—”
“Fucking hell. I know some of you find my father attractive but can you please not talk about him when you’re grinding on me?”
She hadn’t even noticed that her body had started moving of its own volition. His teeth grazed the swell of her breasts, and she rolled her hips against his erection. “He’s taking us out to dinner. He’s waiting for us.”
Miles stood up, keeping Indy pressed to his chest as she locked her legs around his waist. He marched until her back was against a wall, his eyes dark with lust. “Then we better be quick. And quiet. I need to fuck you because you in that dress? Had a semi all day by just looking at your legs. You ever been fucked by a driver in his room, baby?”
Indy shook her head, already grabbing the hem of his shirt, her breath staggered.
“Good. You’re about to be.”