Splintered Hearts

Ten

Noah

Right there.

Oh, fuck!

Right fucking there .

Well, good news. Mark and Hunter have made up. The bad news? Well... “Holy fuuck,” Mark cries out, and honestly, I’m a little concerned for my best friend. Mark’s house is way too fucking small to deal with this shit.

Sleeping here with just Mark was fine—it was peaceful and comfortable. One thing about me? I love to be a big spoon and cuddle, and Mark was more than happy to let me.

It was peace and harmony.

“That’s the spot, huh, my filthy little whore.”

“That doesn’t even make sense!” I yell. “Mark is taller!” Jesus, they need to wrap it up. This is the third time tonight their groaning has bled from the walls. I get that they’re making up for lost time, but damn.

I squeeze my pillow around my head. If I press hard enough, maybe I’ll smother myself.

Death would be kind.

Slamming back down on the couch, I keep my pillow around my head. Anything at this point would be better than listening to this shit. Who has this much stamina? What about chafing?

Waiting for sweet, sweet death, I unfortunately don’t fade to black. The noises stop. I try to get comfortable, but I currently have an embarrassing problem in my briefs. Fucking Mark. Or rather, Hunter fucking Mark.

My dick is broken. “You remember what college was like,” I whisper to the idiot in my boxers. “We do not want to go back there!” Throwing my pillow across the room, I wince as it nearly hits a lamp. I don’t even want to test sleep right now. With my luck, I’d probably dream about them fucking.

Getting up, I make myself an iced coffee.

Yes, it’s nearly midnight, and no, I do not care. Few things in life can instantly fix my mood, but iced coffee is one of them. Maybe I could watch a movie? Mark and Hunter are probably dead to the world now anyway. No wonder Jamie didn’t want Mark around.

Oh, Jamie.

Thinking his name leads me down a path I’ve visited more than once since that party. It’s been nearly a week, and normally, hookups leave my mind the moment they leave my line of sight.

I don’t want to push Mark, or ask Hunter and risk him being angry again. They’re finally getting along again, even with me on their couch.

With every passing night, Jamie’s offer to move in sounds better and better. I’d gotten my phone turned back on days ago, now what I need is his number. While the noises down the hall have stopped, the ones in my head have amplified without the gross distraction.

I know at some point I’ll have to deal with the reality my father has shoved me into. It’s just hard to fully believe this is it.

He disowned me.

It was my greatest fear growing up, when I realized I didn’t like all the pretty girls at school. When Matty Thesan, a quarterback at my private school, kissed me under the bleachers, my entire world lit up.

It also crumbled.

From that day on I knew I’d never fully be who my father wanted me to be. It’s not like he’s ever been loving, but disowning me?

I’m truly dead to him.

I take another sip of my drink. There’s nothing wrong with me, and even though he beat me black and blue I’ll still never believe there is. For the first time ever, I get to be exactly who I am, without any strings or smoke and mirrors.

Hunter’s phone catches my eye as the wheels begin to turn in my brain. I crane my neck toward the hall, listening for any noises but hearing none. They’ve probably passed out in a cum coma.

All I do is tap it. Just checking to make sure it’s not broken. That’s all. When it lights up, proving it’s working, I swipe up. I’m both glad it works—for Hunter’s sake—and impressed there’s no password.

Hunter truly keeps nothing from Mark.

Hunter’s wallpaper greets me—a photo of Mark, shirtless. “Gross.” I accidentally stumble upon his contacts, scrolling randomly to the Js, when surprise hits me upon seeing Jamie’s name.

So random.

Grabbing my own phone, I save his number into my contacts. I still don’t hear any noise. My finger slips, accidentally hits the call button, and before I know it it’s ringing randomly.

So weird.

A flurry of butterflies flit around my stomach. It’s destiny. I was just thinking about talking to him, and now Hunter’s phone has a mind of it’s own, calling Jamie. I mean, it’s practically fate.

The phone rings a few times and I almost hang up before the ringing stops. “Don’t you have a boyfriend to bother?” It takes me a moment to realize. No shit. This is Hunter’s phone.

“Unfortunately, I don’t have one, but I am taking applications.”

“Who’s this?” Jamie snaps.

“Um... Noah. I’ve borrowed Hunter’s phone without his consent.”

“You stole his phone?”

“Borrowed. Temporarily.”

“And why are you calling me?”

Okay. Ouch. “I am asking myself that very question right now. I’m sorry I bothered you. Good night.”

“No, wait.” Jamie sighs. I hear shuffling before he’s back on. “Sorry, it’s just late. I’m surprised. Is everything okay?”

“Well... I don’t know. Hunter either violently murdered my best friend or fucked him to death. I can’t be sure, but I don’t want to go in there and find out.”

Taking another sip of my drink, I swing my legs under the table. His warm laugh makes me smile. “Which one are you hoping for?”

“Both sound really messy. Can you come over here and help me clean up?”

“I’m very squeamish.”

“It might be the second. Why is that the worst option?”

“I don’t think either is a good option.” Why do I feel so nervous? Why? “Why did you really call me?” he asks.

“Oh, um...” I wanted to hear your voice, and I haven’t been able to stop thinking about you or your laugh or smooth voice or the way your head threw back as you came down my throat. “I um... I—”

“Noah?”

“I . . . just wanted to talk to you.”

I almost think Jamie’s hung up, from the following silence, but my nerves ease with his deep voice. “It’s after midnight.”

Fuck, that’s right, why didn’t I think about that? “Sorry—”

“You called me after midnight because you wanted to talk to me?”

Being subtle and shy just isn’t me. I’m not hiding any more of my truths from anyone. “Yeah.” I think I hear a noise down the hall, but after a second, it goes quiet.

“How have you been?”

“I got my phone turned back on. I also went job hunting.” Or at least, I thought about looking for a job. Then I slept and watched a drama to completion, all while laying on Mark’s couch and only moving to go to the bathroom and eat. Not that I’m telling Jamie any of that. “What have you been doing?”

“I finished painting that white wall.”

“Yeah? Is it perfectly white?”

A warm laugh sounds on the other end. Fuck, I like that. “Yeah, it’s finally done. I almost want to paint the rest of my walls in a different color now. It brightened up my room a lot.”

“No more darkness for Jamie.” I laugh, then swallow at the awkward silence that follows.

“How are you settling in at Mark’s?”

“Fine. Better now that he’s asleep.”

“He could be dead right now,” Jamie jokes. “We still aren’t sure whether Hunter killed him.”

“Smart boy. I don’t know how I’ll explain that to the police when I have to make that call.” Jamie laughs, and I love that sound. “Um, Hunter said you’ve been interviewing roommates. And here I thought I was the only one.”

It’s quiet for a moment. “I haven’t found any.”

“Why not?”

“I don’t know. None fit, I guess.”

“Are you being picky?”

“I have to live with them. I want to know if it’ll work.”

“Yet you asked me to move in on sight.”

“Yeah, well . . .”

“Are blowies the normal interview process?”

“Oh my god—”

“I mean, I’d be happy for a follow-up interview.”

“You’re ridiculous,” he laughs.

“Do you take rent off for that?”

“I just... I want to make sure I get along with whoever I live with.”

“I think we got along just fine. I have a working phone now. Can I... text you?”

“Are you getting consent to text me?”

“Of course! Consent is the most important part!”

“Says the man who nonconsensually took Hunter’s phone.”

“I know he’d let me use it.”

“To talk to me? Unlikely. Mark was pissed.”

“He had some pretty aggressive thoughts after, yes.”

“He hates my fucking guts. Don’t be shy.”

“Apparently, you were a real asshole to him.”

“That’s what he said, huh?” Jamie laughs, but I don’t like this one. It’s bitter and tinged with something like resentment. Not at all like the warm, rich ones I’ve been getting. I want those back.

“What happened—” The door opens down the hall. “Fuck, they’re awake. I gotta go. Um, have a good night Jam—”

“Noah.”

“What?”

“You can text me. You have my consent.” I laugh. “Sweet dreams,” he says before hanging up.

Pulling the phone back, I stare at it.

“What are you doing?”

Hunter walks in behind Mark. “Is that my phone? What are you doing?”

“Watching some pretty extreme porn.” I slide the phone across the table as Jamie’s words float through my mind.

Sweet dreams.

“You can’t watch porn on your own phone?”

“Don’t want to give my phone a virus.” Mark ignores me, walking to the fridge to grab a drink. “Dehydrated? It sounded like you lost a lot of fluid.”

“Fuck off, Noah,” Hunter sighs.

“Can you even hear after all that?” I ask Hunter. “No wonder Jamie was a dick to you. Poor baby probably got zero sleep.” Rubbing my ears, I glare at Mark.

“Jamie was a dick to me because Jamie is a dick.”

“I’m sorry, no, you said it wrong. Has... Has a nice dick.”

Mark groans, burying his face into Hunter’s hair. “I am so tired of hearing about his glitter rainbow cock!“

Hunter twists his head up at Mark. “What?”

“If I have to be subjected to banshee wails every night it’s only fair! The big man upstairs is probably sick and tired of you using his name in vain. You will not see the pearly gates, my friend.”

“Well, if the bigots are right, I’ve already made my peace with that.” Mark leans in, kissing Hunter’s neck. “We weren’t even that loud.”

Hunter cranes his neck to look at him. “No... we weren’t.”

“Fuck off.” Mark laughs at him then bites his ear lightly. “Can’t blame me when the dick is incredible.” I glare as Mark wraps his arms around Hunter’s neck, kissing him. Maybe I should start another fight. This shit is unbearable.

“I’ve had to listen to you come three times tonight. How are either of you walking right now? You should be husks. Tumbleweeds in the wind! How is there any fluid left in either of your bodies!”

Hunter cranes his neck, looking back at Mark whose chin now rests on his shoulder.

Fuck, they’re cute.

And disgusting.

“You came four times. Seems like my good boy can be quiet.” He boops his nose.

“I’m going to throw up. How are you even walking?”

“You assume I bottomed.” Hunter and I both look at Mark flatly. “Fuck you both.”

Hunter laughs, grabbing his phone and turning it on as Mark goes to the fridge. My eyes lift, watching Hunter look at me weirdly. At first I’m flattered. I mean, I am gorgeous. The look, though, narrows into a glare.

What the hell did I—

Oh, shit.

The call log.

I snap on my puppiest of eyes, and Hunter’s roll in response, his shoulders sinking a little. He looks to Mark before shutting off the phone and putting it on the counter. Thank you , I mouth, before Hunter goes over to Mark, placing his hands on his waist and kissing his shoulder. “I’m going to bed, babe.”

“Why?”

“Because you wrung me out.” Mark smirks into his ice cream. “Night, Noah.”

“Night, Puck Daddy.” Flipping me off, Hunter walks down the hall and I’m relieved he kept my secret—for now at least. I know it’s only a matter of time, though. Hunter does not lie to Mark.

“Hunter hasn’t played hockey in years. Find a new name.”

“No.”

“I’m not that loud.”

“It’s gross how jealous of you I am.”

“You’ll be back to getting your back blown out in no time. Gotta get some of that confidence back.”

What I need is in a ranch-style home about ten minutes away, with tattoos and a tongue piercing I need to feel. “Well, if you hadn’t interrupted me, I wouldn’t have blue balls right now.”

“Noah—”

“He didn’t seem that bad. Like, at all.” I just need one more time with him—just one. I need to snuff this out or I’ll just keep thinking about him.

“If I was getting my dick sucked I’d be real friendly to you too.”

“Not true. I sucked your dick all the time in college, and you were still mean to me.”

“I hate you. So, so fucking much.” Mark stands, clapping me on the back. “Get some sleep. You want to watch a movie tomorrow night or something? I’m done game testing.”

“Sure.”

“Night.” Mark kisses my cheek. Scowling, I scrub it off, and Mark goes back down the hall, laughing. Putting my cup in the sink, I grab my phone and flop onto the couch. Putting Jamie’s number in, I look at it for a second before making more terrible decisions.

Noah: Good night

Noah 3

I lie down, pulling my blanket up around my head, still not tired at all. Jamie is still on my mind. Mark’s couch isn’t terrible but I need to do something, and Jamie’s offer still sounds so good. Could I actually live with him, though?

Do I even want to?

Tomorrow problems.

As my eyes drift shut a sharp buzz catches my attention. Grabbing my phone, I see a number, and smile.

Jamie: Good night

Something warm fills my stomach. It’s strange, and I don’t think I’ve ever felt anything quite like it. It feels a little like free falling. It’s reckless and maybe a bit stupid, but I don’t care. Maybe I should.

Closing my eyes, I start to dream.

Brown eyes, shy smile.

Beautiful.