15. Emma
FIFTEEN
Emma
When Ashford and I got upstairs, Maisie was in the living room with Stella. She must’ve let Stella out of my room, where I’d left her during the couple hours of Ashford’s self-defense course.
“We were looking for you two,” Callum said, lounging on the couch. “How was the class?”
“It was…informative.” Did my voice sound strange?
Crap. It did. If the amused expression on Callum’s face was anything to go by.
Ashford’s fingers brushed my side as he passed me. “Hey, monkey. Tell me about your day.” While Ashford sat with his daughter and caught up, Callum followed me into the kitchen.
“You all right, Emma?” he asked. “You’re a little pink. Must’ve been an intense class.”
“Great exercise.” I grabbed the kettle and filled it under the tap.
I had kissed Ashford. Kissed him back . After flirting with him all afternoon.
And it had been epic. Fireworks and the swelling sound of violins. The best kiss I’d ever had the pleasure of experiencing. The kind where all rational thought wiped away, and it was just our lips, our heartbeats, our tongues gently stroking.
Now I was overheating. I fanned my face.
Callum chuckled.
Geez, I needed to get out of this apartment for a while. I had kissed Ashford , and he wanted to “talk” later after Maisie went to bed, and I couldn’t deal with that while also dealing with his brother’s knowing laughter. I wasn’t used to someone’s entire family, and by extension everyone in town, knowing my business.
“I should take Stella on her walk,” I said to Callum.
In my room, I pulled on my Nirvana hoodie and grabbed Stella’s leash. My sneakers were by the front door, and I stopped there to slide my feet into them. “I’m taking Stella to get some exercise,” I called out. “And I told Dixie I would drop by.”
Maisie came running. “You have to go, Emma?”
“Promise I’ll be back later. At the very least, I’ll see you tomorrow morning. We can have frozen waffles for breakfast again. With honey butter, like I made last time.”
She didn’t look pleased. But she nodded. My compromise had been accepted.
Ashford held my wrist just before I opened the door. “You okay?” he whispered.
“Yeah.”
“Is something wrong?” He glanced toward the kitchen. “Did Callum say something stupid?”
“No. Really. I’m going to stop by Dixie’s. I told her I’d swing by with some dinner.”
“Okay. Let me know if you need anything. I’ll see you later.” His hand moved down my arm and squeezed my fingers. He glanced at my mouth, and I had the feeling he was replaying the mental image of our kiss. Just like I was. I wanted to kiss him again right now.
All the more reason to excuse myself and take a walk so I could think .
Hooking Stella’s leash to her collar, I tugged her toward the door. She dragged her feet, reluctant to leave without Maisie. “Stella, come .”
Even my dog was getting attached to our life here. I just didn’t know if that was the wisest thing.
In short, I was freaking out a little bit.
Outside, we aimed in the direction of Main Street while I texted Dixie. It wasn’t exactly true that I’d already agreed to swing by her place. She’d suggested we have dinner one of these evenings. Why not this one?
She texted back that she was free, so I told her I would pick up some food. After placing an order at the Italian place, I had fifteen minutes to kill before our pasta would be ready. So I grabbed a bench around the corner in a quiet spot.
And I called one of my best friends. My stepmom, Madison.
“Emma! So you do have phone service out there in Colorado.”
Just hearing her voice soothed some of my nerves. “Ha ha. I’ve sent a million texts.”
“But that doesn’t stop your dad from complaining that he never hears from you. He’s out with Kelsea. They’re having a daddy-daughter day. Thompson’s with me, and he’s, erg , really squirmy.”
“That’s fine. I just wanted to hear your voice. And maybe get some advice?”
“Hold on, I’m going to put your brother down in the playroom so he can smash some toy trucks together.”
My sister Kelsea was five, and Thompson was two. I loved spending time with them whenever I got the chance. I’d started teaching Kelsea piano, and she’d caught the music bug like me. But she was Madison’s little girl, so she was also sporty, blond, and loved wearing anything pink and covered in glitter.
Maisie would probably adore her.
“Emma?” my stepmom asked. “Are you still there?”
“Uh, yeah. Sorry. I zoned out.”
“Something on your mind?”
“A lot, actually.”
“Are you sure you don’t want to wait until Nash is home? It should only be another half hour or so.”
“It’s not that kind of conversation.”
There was a pause. But I knew Madison had her thinking face on.
“Babe, I would do just about anything for you. But if you’re about to tell me something important is going on with you, you know I can’t keep that from Nash. When it’s pillow-talk time, things come out.”
Curse their perfect marriage. My inner teenager was sticking her tongue out in disgust because, ew, my dad.
This was why I hadn’t told Madison the real reason I was transferring.
“What if it’s about a friend?”
“Okaaay. What’s happening with this friend?”
Neither of us were buying my friend story. But at least she was going with it.
“She met a guy. A very sexy older guy who has a daughter.”
“This is sounding familiar.”
“Can you stop bringing up my dad?”
“I can’t help it. You said sexy older guy .” Madison laughed. “Sorry. How much older is your friend’s guy?”
“He’s thirty-four. A year older than you .”
“That’s not so bad. You do recall that your dad is thirteen years older than me.”
But I doubted my father would see it that way. Because when it came to me , Nash Jennings tended to be unreasonable. “My friend really likes this guy. A lot. He’s thoughtful, kind, an amazing father. And really sexy.”
I sighed, remembering that kiss.
“You mentioned the sexy part. But what’s the problem?”
I bent over to stroke Stella’s soft fur. “It’s complicated. Right? Seeing a man with a daughter. Especially when my friend likes this little girl and spends a lot of time with her. And my friend is leaving at the end of the summer. She can’t stay.”
“She could enjoy a good thing while she’s got it. And just see what happens.”
“But she’s screwed up with relationships in the past, and she can’t do that again. People get hurt.” I pressed my face to Stella’s neck.
Madison didn’t say anything for a long moment.
“Em, did something happen last semester? You seemed really happy for a while, and then suddenly you were avoiding our calls and making plans to run off to Colorado for the summer. I didn’t want to push you about it, but…”
A lump gathered in my throat, made of all the things I couldn’t tell her. “I don’t want to talk about it.”
“All right. When you’re ready, I’m here. So is your dad.”
“I know.” Except I would never be ready to share those details. No, thank you.
I got up from the bench, walking aimlessly with Stella down the street.
“But we were talking about your friend and this older man she likes. I do have some advice for her. If you want to pass it on.”
I smiled and huffed a laugh. “Yes?”
“Tell your friend she’s right. Relationships can hurt. But they can heal, too. When two people take a chance on each other, they might find it’s everything they needed. Even if the relationship doesn’t last. Does that help?”
I glanced up at the blue sky. “It does. Yeah.”
We talked for a while longer. Madison told me all about what was going on with my family in California. Then shared recent stories from her job as a West Oaks PD hostage negotiator. But my mind started to wander to the blue brick building a few blocks away.
I wanted to see Maisie and Ashford.
I wanted to kiss him again.
Because no matter what other complications existed, he wasn’t my ex. Ashford wasn’t the type of man to keep some big, dark secret.
It was scary to take a chance on him. But my gut said it could be worth it.
When I got back to the Big Blue Monster, there was a stack of mail on the floor in the lobby. Saturday mail delivery had arrived.
Holding Stella’s leash with one hand, I scooped up the envelopes and flyers with the other and headed upstairs.
Dixie and I had enjoyed a relaxed dinner on her patio. As usual, she’d asked about Ashford and Maisie. I’d gotten tongue-tied, probably giving away that something was up from the way Dixie had grinned smugly.
I didn’t even know what Ashford wanted. I couldn’t imagine he was only interested in a one-night stand with me. Since we lived together, that would invite far too much drama, and Ashford seemed to prefer as little drama as possible.
Neither of us wanted to risk Maisie getting hurt. But we couldn’t stay away from each other either. Touching him was electric. Kissing him? It was unforgettable.
I wanted that. Even if it was just for the summer.
Upstairs, I set the mail on the kitchen counter and sorted through the junk. The sounds of bedtime filtered down the hallway from Maisie’s room. Ashford was reading stories, doing the voices of the characters just the way Maisie liked.
I smiled as I found a large pink envelope in the stack of mail. It was addressed to Maisie and had stickers of stars and rainbows all over it. So cute. I almost brought it to Maisie’s room right then, but I didn’t want to disturb bedtime.
I flipped it over absentmindedly, not meaning to be nosy. But my eyes went straight to the return address before I could stop myself.
A post office box in Los Angeles.
Who did Ashford know in LA?
Maisie’s bedroom door shut, and Ashford’s footsteps padded along the hallway rug. “You’re home.”
I turned around, leaving the envelope behind me on the counter. “Hi.”
“How’s Dixie?”
“She’s good. She said hello. Did you have dinner with Callum?”
“Yeah, he stayed. Asked what was going on with you.”
“What did you tell him?”
“Nothing. Wasn’t sure what to say.” He touched my hip, his fingers playing with the edge of my shirt. “I wasn’t sure how to take the fact that you ran off after our kiss.”
“It wasn’t right after. But I needed to do some thinking.”
“Come to any conclusions?”
“That I missed you.”
“I missed you too.” He came closer and rested his hands on either side of me on the counter. “I had a hard time thinking about anything but you all evening.” He leaned in like he was going to kiss me. I lifted my chin.
Then his brows knitted, and he peered past me.
“What’s that?”
“Oh, the mail? I brought it up.”
He moved to one side of me and reached for the pink envelope. Flipped it and read the return address.
His skin went ashen. “This arrived today?”
“Yes. What’s wrong?”
Ashford walked toward the other side of the kitchen. Facing away from me, he tore open the envelope and glanced briefly at whatever was inside.
My eyes widened as he tore the card and envelope into several pieces and shoved them deep inside the trashcan.
“What was that?” I asked.
“Something that shouldn’t have come here. It was a mistake.”
“But it was addressed to Maisie.”
“And you shouldn’t have seen it.” His voice was tight. Angry. “Just pretend you didn’t.”
“How can I pretend I didn’t see it?” I knew I wasn’t entitled to Ashford’s private business. But how could I just ignore that?
He was upset. More than that. Ashford was afraid . Something I had never seen.
“The return address was in Los Angeles,” I said.
“So?”
“Someone called you from an LA area code the day I had a migraine. Was that really a wrong number?”
He didn’t answer for a while, and when he did, it wasn’t satisfying. “There are things I can’t tell you.”
“Is this about Maisie’s safety?”
“Yes. I believe it is.”
I exhaled. “Then you don’t have to say anything else. I’m sorry I brought the envelope upstairs where she could see it.”
“You didn’t know.” He wiped a hand over his face. “But it would be best if you don’t mention this to Grace or Callum.”
My stomach sank. All of this felt off. Wrong .
“You don’t want me to tell your siblings? I…I don’t know if…”
“It’s hard to explain.”
“I get that. But this seems really weird. And concerning. This is some kind of secret from your family?”
“Emma, you don’t understand,” he snapped.
“Clearly not.”
He scrubbed his hands through his hair. “I’m an asshole.”
“You did sound like one just then.”
He leaned against the counter, hunching his shoulders. Neither of us spoke. I was so bewildered.
A few moments ago, he’d been smiling. Happy. Now he looked like he hadn’t slept in a month.
“Ashford…”
“I shouldn’t have kissed you earlier. That was a mistake. I’m sorry.”
My mouth opened, then shut. His sudden shift had blindsided me. Especially the way he’d said it, so devoid of emotion.
“I’m sorry too.”
If this affected his daughter’s safety, then of course that should be his priority. But I had a hunch why he was pushing me away.
I was getting too close. Interfering with the careful boundaries he’d put up, just like when I first got to town.
Well, I called bullshit.
But I wasn’t going to stick around to prove him wrong. I’d already gotten involved with a man who had secrets, and I couldn’t put myself in that situation again.
It hurt, though. So, so much. Because every cell in my being kept telling me to trust him. But if Ashford refused to let me in, there was nothing I could do.