Stay with Me: The Moran Brothers Series

Chapter 43

In Love

Reminisce

I sitin my car wondering how did I get here? How is this my life? I shouldn’t have allowed my father to guilt me into this.

My phone rings, and I glance at the name that lights it up. I haven’t returned his calls in the three days that I’ve been at my parents’. I asked Saga to let him know that I’m okay, but I need space.

However, staying with my parents is how I ended up on this date tonight. Sheldon came by to see my father and asked me out. Seriously, this is the last place I want to be.

I can still hear my father’s words in my head, coaching me to go on this date. His words would have made sense if my heart wasn’t already aching for someone else.

“Baby girl, you’re my youngest, and you’re unhappy. Take the man up on his offer. You two hit it off before,” my father said after Sheldon left and Dad cornered me outside mom’s office.

My father can be relentless, so I gave in. No one knows my heart is bleeding. No one knows that I’m already in love with a man who’s child I’m carrying.

“Great, it’s going to pour,” I mumble as I get out of the car.

I go to get my umbrella out of the back seat before I head to the restaurant. When I have the umbrella in hand, I close the door and turn. Standing before me with sad eyes is the one person I’m trying to avoid.

“Knight, what are you doing here?”

“We need to talk,” he says.

“Now isn’t the time.”

He crowds my space, backing me against the door and cups my face. He looks into my eyes. That pull is still there between us. It’s burning as hot as it always does.

Dipping his head, he nips at my bottom lip and groans. He licks at it before he sucks it into his mouth.

“Knight,” I whisper.

“Don’t.”

“We can’t.”

“Not this again,” he murmurs.

He takes my mouth in a searing kiss. He consumes all that I am, sending the butterflies in my belly flying. He takes from my mouth like he’s been craving this kiss for a lifetime. I lock my fingers in his hair, pulling a grin to his lips. When he cups my ass and pulls me into him, I come to my senses.

“Why can’t we? What excuse are you going to feed me this time?” he says against my lips.

“You know why.”

He purses his lips and looks into my eyes. So many emotions pass through those blues. I turn away not able to handle all that I see.

That shootout placed me back into reality. Danger is the business that Knight is in. Call me selfish, but I have to think about my baby.

“Come on. I can go through your list and shoot down all your bullshit excuses. You can’t use the white guy thing anymore. Your dad has accepted Bishop into the family,” he grumbles.

“That’s not fair. You make it sound … that’s not how I meant it.”

I remember every time we’ve had that talk. He caught me off guard the first time with talk of dating and getting to know my family.

“Yeah, baby, it is,” he says. “You wouldn’t get into a real relationship with me because you were afraid your father wouldn’t accept me.”

I release his hair and fold my arms across my chest. “That’s not what I said. You asked me if I thought my family would have a problem with me dating a white guy. I was honest with you and told you my father had a type he envisioned for me and my sister. You weren’t it. It had nothing to do with your color.”

He nips my lower lip again. “Why aren’t we together, Rem?”

“Your brother is married to my sister.”

He snorts. “What does that have to do with anything? Technically, we were a thing before they ever met.”

“Things have changed. I’m not what you need. I want to get married and have stability. I think we should let each other go.”

He takes a step back as if I’ve slapped him. However, I’m the one who feels like I’ve just taken the blow. For the first time, I’ve said those words and I know with my whole heart I don’t mean them.

A look of determination fills his eyes, and he moves to trap me against the car once again. Pressing his forehead to mine and cupping the sides of my face, he studies me and takes a deep breath. I close my eyes to shut out the deep connection I feel.

“Look at me, Rem. Look at me and tell me you don’t love me,” he says with so much emotion I nearly crumble before him.

The first drop of rain touches my hand that rests over his on my face. I need to go before it pours and those words spill out. I tug away and lift my umbrella to cover me just in time.

As much as it pains me, I force my feet forward. My heels clicking louder than they should. Pieces of my heart drop out and leave a trail as I walk away from him.

“If you love me, say it. Don’t be a fucking coward,” he bellows from behind me. “If you love me, fucking admit it. Say something, baby. Admit that shit.”

I freeze in the middle of the parking lot. I can’t force myself to keep moving. My phone buzzes in my pocket, no doubt Sheldon wondering why I’m late.

Pain rocks my body, I’m trying to move toward a man I don’t want, but he’s the safe one. The one who says all the right things, who looks good on paper. Yet he doesn’t move my soul, he’s not my peace. Sheldon will never be the father of my child.

However, I take a tiny step forward to the promise of safety. Even as I lift my foot, it feels like a betrayal to who I am and the man behind me. I bite back a deep belly sob.

“Reminisce,” he booms my name. “Don’t do this shit. You have no more excuses. I’m everything you want. Admit that shit and stop running from me.”

He’s right. He’s everything I want, the completion to the dreams I’ve been suppressing for over four years. I turn slowly with tears in my eyes.

I have to blink to focus on him. He’s standing there. Rain pouring down and soaking him to the bone. He’s still so gorgeous. Hair plastered to his forehead, covering his eyes. His T-shirt and jeans cling to his skin, but in my mind, he’s still perfect.

The pull toward him is so strong. I have to ask myself if fear is enough to keep me from him. It’s not imagined fear anymore. It has become very real, and this time our child was caught in the middle.

I don’t know if I can meet him halfway on this. Every time I close my eyes, I see those men shooting at us. If not for Reap and Grim, I don’t know if I would be here.

“What do you want from me?” I choke out.

“I want you to tell the truth. I want you to put us out of our misery.” He takes a pause and pounds at his chest. “I’m what you want. The damn universe gave me to you on a platter. The one thing I loved is gone, and I’m on the fucking verge of losing the only thing I love more.”

His words confuse me, but I don’t take the time to analyze them. I’m moments away from falling apart. I wrap an arm around my middle.

“You don’t love me,” I say hoping the lie glues me together.

I know it’s a lie. I’ve read the truth in his eyes. It’s in his voice now.

“Bullshit and you know it.”

I sag my shoulders and drop my head. I’m not going into that restaurant. I’m not walking away from my man. I know it even before I start to slowly walk to him.

I stop before him and lift the umbrella over his head even though he’s soaked through at this point. He reaches for my waist and tugs me forward.

“I love you, Reminisce. I’ve always been in love with you. You were the first thing I thought of when I woke in that hospital bed. I needed to get to you.

“Knowing you were out there living a life without me didn’t feel right. I love you, baby. I can’t lose you.”

“You were on a blind date.” I pout.

He gives a small chuckle. “While texting my brother to find out if you were still single. Jamel asked me to do him the favor. It was a last minute thing. It’s always been you, Rem.”

He lifts a hand to rub his thumb across my bottom lip. I reach for his hand and pull it down to my belly. I release a heavy breath.

“Knight … I … We …”

“Just say you love me, Rem. We can fix everything else. Just say the words.”

“I’m pregnant, and I’m so in love with the father of this child, it’s going to kill me if I can’t get over my fears to be with him.”

There, I said it.

* * *

Knight

I stand still as a statue.That’s not the way I imagined her saying it. I think I’m in a dream for a moment.

I kneel to one knee and place my face in her belly. I cling to her back as reality rocks me. I came so close to losing them both. She was pregnant when her life was in danger.

“Fuck,” I roar.

It all makes sense. This time she has a reason to want to run. Had I known then … my throat is raw with emotion.

She combs her hand through my hair. “Come on, you’re soaked, and I’m starting to get wet.”

My bike forgotten, I lead her around the car and open the passenger side for her to get in. Once the woman I love and our baby are secure inside the car, I get in and drive toward my place.

Reaching for her hand, I link our fingers together and bring them to my lips. She’s pregnant. Suddenly, my decision to walk away from the force isn’t as heavy. It’s like a boy becoming a man and putting up his toys. It was time.

“I put my resignation in. I’m done with the force,” I say as I pull up to a stoplight.

I turn to see her reaction. Her eyes are wide as she searches my face. I lean in and kiss her lips.

“What? But you love your work.”

“No, no, I don’t anymore. Not the way I used too. Something changed while undercover. I started to see what I’ve been missing.

“Being an undercover detective is a lonely life. I’m missing my nephews grow up and my brothers are building lives I know little about … I have someone I love so much I can’t stand to be away from her a second more?—”

I’m cut off by horns honking behind me. I frown but turn back to the road and start to drive. I can feel her eyes on me.

“You were saying.”

“Those guys, the Lost Souls became my brothers. I watched them with their families—their wives and girlfriends, their kids. The love and devotion. It made me miss you every day I had to be there pretending.

“I wanted what they had. I wanted you. Now, I have that and having a badge seems like a silly dream I had to play cops and robbers. Now, I’ll find another way to spend my time. It’s not like I’m hurting for the money,” I say.

I turn to glance at her. Her lips are trembling, and tears have spilled over. Turning back toward the road, I release her hand to reach for her face and wipe her tears with my thumb.

“Are you sure? This is what you want? I don’t want you to be unhappy.”

“Rem, I will always choose you.”

And I mean it. I’ve got the girl. The rest is just a matter of figuring out. I have plenty of time to do all of that. This is where I belong.