Chapter 8
CHAPTER EIGHT
T he day was miserable, thick clouds gathering overhead and heralding the arrival of a storm. Soon, the ground would be drenched in rain and the courtyard would be muddy and damp, but until then, Fia could tend to the herbs in Effie’s personal garden. Everyone else knew to stay away, Effie had told her, but she had given her permission to tend to the plants and gather any supplies they needed for the pastes and the medicine, and Fia considered that a great honor.
There was yet another person who trusted her, yet another who saw her worth. In only a matter of days, she had gone from doubting herself to knowing she was on the right path, heading in the direction she always wanted to—the path that would allow her to take care of people, to cure the sick and heal the wounded, and to offer whatever comfort she could to those she could not save.
As she worked on the gardens, a familiar figure approached from the distance. Laird Stewart was there, accompanied by Magnus, the two of them deep in thought as they walked down the very path that led through the gardens. Fia was quick to stand. This was her chance to make another good impression and yet there she was, her hands covered in soil and sweat coating her brow. She was quick to wipe both in a spare cloth, pushing and pulling at her tunic until she looked presentable—at least as presentable as she could. There was only so much she could do without a looking-glass or even some water, right in the middle of the courtyard.
Her training with Bane had gone, if not exactly well, then adequately. She couldn’t claim to be a lady yet—far from it, in fact, as she still had trouble walking and eating like one and she certainly didn’t sound noble born when she spoke. She tried, she truly did; yet she forgot herself, always slipping to the familiar patterns of speech she had cultivated through a lifetime in the village. How was she supposed to let go of everything she knew and become a new person overnight?
The progress she had made so far would have to suffice. As Laird Stewart and Magnus walked towards her, Fia made her way to them so that she could walk by the laird at just the right time, making sure he noticed everything about her; the confident way in which she held herself, with her back straight and her chin high, the smile on her lips, the peaceful, refined gait that was so different from her usual hurried one. She was perfectly poised. She was the very embodiment of a lady, moving slowly and with grace.
And then a gaggle of children ran straight into her as they played their game, almost knocking her over in the process. In the short time she had spent in the castle, Fia had managed to befriend almost every small child living there, and now that they knew who she was, they were not shy about asking her to play with them.
“Miss MacKenzie!” a chorus of them shouted. Small hands grabbed at her arms and tunic, dragging her in all directions, and Fia had to steady herself, hands flying out to keep her balance.
“Well!” Fia said, dropping down to the ground so she could be closer to them instead of towering over them all. “Where are ye all runnin’ tae?”
“Angus is chasin’ us!” one of the boys said. “An’ we’re tryin’ tae hide from him. But now that ye’re here, will ye nae play with us? Please? Please, Miss MacKenzie?”
There was another chorus of pleading and Fia couldn’t find it in herself to say no to them. Impressing the laird would have to wait, she thought, as she pretended to consider the children’s request for a moment, before dropping to the ground.
“Then ye better run!” she roared to scare them. “Or I’ll catch ye!”
Delighted, the children screamed as they rushed off into all directions, their feet pattering against the ground. They wouldn’t have long to play that day, considering it would be raining soon, so Fia shot to her feet once more and began to chase them, roaring every time she got close, much to the children’s joy. They loved it and she didn’t care how she looked anymore.
There had been few joys in her life, and children had been one of them. She had always had a knack for caring for them, as well as for entertaining them, and that was one of the reasons why she had become a midwife in the first place.
Fia was glad to see that there were so many children in the castle and that there would soon be more. It meant that no day would be dull for her, that she could always play with them and make sure they were all taken care of.
Jumping around and chasing after the children was far from easy and soon, her brow was coated in sweat once more and her hair fell out of the braid in which she had put it, flying wildly all around her head. She was panting from exertion, her cheeks a bright red and her breath fogging with every exhale, but she didn’t give up so easily. The children were all still laughing, enjoying themselves, and she didn’t want to cut their game short and disappoint them.
It was only when the first drops of rain began to pour that she brought the game to a halt, telling them all to head inside so they wouldn’t risk catching a cold. Just as all the children left, rushing back into the keep, Fia looked up and met the laird’s gaze from a distance, realizing in that moment that he had been staring at her this entire time.
Despite it all, he had a smile on his face.
A walk in the gardens was just what Knox needed, he decided that morning, a while after he had broken his fast and he and Magnus had gone over the correspondence. The news of the marriage offer, or at least the offer of a meeting so that they could discuss an alliance through marriage, still weighed heavily on his mind and he hadn’t yet come to a conclusion as to what to do.
His council would want him to consider it seriously, and perhaps he should, Knox thought. With any luck, it would be a woman who would be to his liking, though he feared that may not be the case. He had already rejected a few alliances simply because he couldn’t see himself with the woman they had offered him, nor had he liked the way in which it was all arranged. He was quite certain no one had asked those women if they wished to marry him. Rather, they most likely had all been forced to attend meetings and balls, putting on their best selves to be presented to him. The mere thought made Knox sick to his stomach. He knew that he, too, was putting on a role, wearing a mask. They were all pretending during such functions, spending the night drinking and dancing while others pulled the strings. He was part of it all. He had done it plenty of times, willingly even.
But that didn’t mean he enjoyed it. If he could go the rest of his life without attending such a ball again, he would be a happy man.
And then, just as he was strolling with Magnus down the path, hoping that the rain wouldn’t catch them in the middle of their walk, he saw Fia, walking towards him and looking as beautiful and radiant as ever, with her honey-blonde hair pulled back and her green eyes sparkling under the sparse light. She truly was a beautiful woman, Knox thought, with large, eyes and full lips, freckles dotting her cheeks, but it was more than that. It was more than her physical looks he found alluring, even though he couldn’t claim to know her.
He only knew what she had told him when he had called her into his study. Their conversation had been pleasant, easy, flowing like water. Knox didn’t feel as though she was trying to perform for him or thought very carefully about her next words, and so he couldn’t help but feel at ease around her.
Just as he was about to greet her, though, she was intercepted by a group of children who fell right into her, giggling and shouting. The sight brought both Knox and Magnus to a halt, and Magnus made to get the children out of their path, but Knox was quick to stop him with a hand on his shoulder. He wanted to see where this would go. He wanted to see what Fia would do now that the children had almost knocked her over.
Her response startled him. He hadn’t expected her to be annoyed by them, if only because she seemed like such a kind, warm woman, but he also hadn’t expected her to fall on the ground next to them, roaring with all her might in the middle of the courtyard, in front of all the servants. Fia, though, didn’t seem to care. She was clearly enjoying herself, running around with the children without a care in the world, and Knox found it fascinating. Even as a child, it wasn’t often that he could play like that, since his lessons to take over the clan had started early in his life. Seeing Fia with those boys and girls made him feel warm in his chest, the feeling leaving him with a strange ache that wasn’t wholly unpleasant.
“Well… I suppose Miss MacKenzie is popular with the bairns as well,” Magnus said and Knox hummed in agreement before he turned to look at his friend with a frown.
“What dae ye mean as well?”
“She seems tae be popular in general,” Magnus said with a small shrug. “I ken that Effie certainly likes her. The two o’ them are becomin’ fast friends.”
That wasn’t surprising to Knox. It wouldn’t have been surprising even if he had only known Effie, since she was always good at making people feel at ease and she was well-liked among the people of the castle. Knox couldn’t help but wonder, though, if there were other people who were fond of Fia, too; perhaps some of the men who had already come to know her, all of them vying for her attention when he was not around.
And then there was Bane Graham. Fia had claimed that the two of them were like siblings, but something didn’t sit right with him about that. He hadn’t pried; it was none of his business. But he wondered how long they had known each other, when Bane’s family had taken her in, and whether she had ever been intended for him.
All strange thoughts to have, Knox realized. He didn’t dwell for long on the reasons for his sudden agitation, fearful of what he may discover behind those thoughts. Truly, he shouldn’t care at all.
“Is there somethin’ ye wish tae tell me?” Magnus asked, tactful as always, but Knox knew precisely what it was that he was asking. With a roll of his eyes, he returned his gaze to Fia, who was still tirelessly playing with the children. The more she ran, the more her face reddened and her hair got messy and wild, creating a halo around her head. Even her tunic was soiled as she was tackled to the ground by children a few times, but none of it seemed to matter to her; she was entirely carefree in that moment and for Knox, it was a sight to behold.
“Nay,” he told Magnus. “Why are ye askin’?”
“Fer nae reason,” Magnus said in that casual tone of his, which he always assumed when he wanted to say more but wouldn’t allow himself to do so. “But if there is, ye can tell me.”
Knox didn’t even know what he was thinking or feeling himself. Sharing any of it with Magnus seemed impossible, as he had no name for it. He only knew that when the first rain drops began to drop and Fia met his gaze, something inside him changed.