Stealing a Kilted Heart (Temptation in Tartan #8)

Chapter 9

CHAPTER NINE

I t didn’t take long for the rain to subside. That very same night, the skies were clear, the stars shining brightly upon Castle MacGregor while a waxing moon bathed the courtyard in a pale glow. Knox found it impossible to sleep. There was much on his mind. Clan Gordon was on the move, he knew it in the way he knew the path of the wind, the rise of the sun, instinctively. He had no evidence yet as it was too soon for word to have come from his scouts, and yet something in his gut told him Laird Alastair Gordon was preparing for something big.

Why else would he nae negotiate? He doesnae want peace. He wants…

Knox didn’t know what Laird Gordon wanted. Clan Stuart and Clan Gordon had had several altercations in the past, battles for land and gold and dominance, which usually resulted in a victory for the Stuarts. Perhaps it was this which motivated him, Knox thought. With him as Laird of Clan Stuart, maybe Laird Gordon thought it was the perfect time to stage an attack, hoping that he could finally have a victory against them, but if that was his goal, then Knox would make sure the man was disappointed.

He could do this, he told himself. He had been preparing all his life for an emergency like this and now that it was on its way, he knew what to do.

Still, the worry plagued him, and the only thing that helped in situations like this was to take a late-night stroll in the castle grounds to clear his head. The crisp, chilly air calmed him, and so did the symphony of soft sounds around him—the breeze, the leaves that rustled as it passed through them, the shuffling steps of the guards as they patrolled the walls. It was better than the deafening silence of his chambers. It reminded him he was not alone in this.

His feet took him towards Effie’s cottage, where the air always smelled of rosemary and thyme and lavender, the scents mixing from the bushes and the flowers she kept there, in her personal gardens. He had always cherished that part of the castle. In the mornings, it bloomed with color, while at night the scents lingered, wrapping around him like a cloak.

Just as he rounded the corner, staring up at the starry sky, he caught sight of a figure from the corner of his eye. Dragging his gaze over, it took him a few moments for him to recognize it as Fia, who was sitting on top of a low wall that encircled the herb garden. In the moonlight, her pale skin seemed to glow, her hair shining golden as it fell in soft waves down her back. She had drawn her legs up, resting her chin on her knees with a cloak draped over her, and when she spotted Knox, she gave a small start before she seemed to recognize him.

Knox made his way towards her, leaning against the wall. With how they were placed, he had to crane his neck to look up at Fia, who seemed uncertain of what to do in his presence.

“Forgive me, me laird,” she said. “I’d stand tae greet ye but?—”

Her words were cut off abruptly as her gaze fell down to her body. It took Knox a few moments to understand what it was that she was trying to say, but then he noticed a bare calf where her cloak had ridden up just a little and he realized she wore nothing but that cloak and a nightshift underneath. Immediately, he averted his gaze, glad for the dark that hid his rapidly heating cheeks.

Why is she out here wearin’ only a shift an’ a cloak?

It wasn’t often that the presence of a woman left Knox struggling with speech. He liked to think he could keep his wits about him whenever a woman was near and past experiences with the fairer sex had been plenty of proof he was right. Now, though, in the soft light of the moon, with just him and Fia there, he found his mind wandering in dangerous territory, his imagination running wild.

It was not only unbecoming of a man of his pedigree, but also unfair to Fia, who had surely gone there for some peace and quiet, only to have Knox disturb her by lusting after her. And yet as much as he tried to avert his gaze, he caught himself staring at her again and again, unable to look away.

He should continue on his walk. He should just run a loop around the castle and head back to his chambers for the night, forgetting he ever even met Fia there.

“Can I stay or are ye expectin’ someone?”

“Who would I be expectin’?” Fia asked with a small, bemused smile.

Knox didn’t answer, as he didn’t want to appear overbearing, but a name bounced around in his mind. Bane. Though they claimed to be like family, Knox didn’t know if he believed that or not. From what he knew after subtly interrogating the maids the two of them, she had not been so young when his family had adopted her. Already fourteen and fifteen years of age respectively, it meant that they hadn’t grown up together like siblings and so he couldn’t help but be a little suspicious of how close they were.

“I’ll be honored tae have yer company, me laird,” Fia added when Knox neither spoke nor made any effort to move. At her words, he smiled at her and sat next to her on the wall, dragging his gaze over to the sky above them.

For a while, they were both silent, but Knox didn’t feel the need to say a single thing. If anything, he feared that speaking would ruin the moment, break through this strange and quick intimacy that had grown between them. It was a comfortable silence, one he very much enjoyed, tinted with the soft sounds of nature around them.

It was only a while later that he spoke again, as comfortable sharing the first thing that came to mind as he was remaining silent.

“I come here sometimes when I cannae sleep,” he said. “I didnae think anyone else would be here.”

“I didnae think anyone else would be here either,” Fia said. “Dae ye like tae look at the stars?”

“Och aye,” said Knox. “Me faither… when I was a bairn, he would show me all the constellations.”

With a soft hum, Fia raised her hand, tracing invisible lines among the stars as if to connect them. Knox watched the patterns her finger traced, but it was nothing he could recognize.

“That’s the wheat farmer,” she said, so plainly and casually that Knox began to wonder if perhaps there was a constellation he had somehow missed in the lessons with his father. “He takes his cart—” another pattern, this time connecting several stars next to the previous one— “an’ takes his bounty tae the moon. An’ then, there’s the fisherman, with his rod—”, this time her finger traced a large arc that reached close to the horizon, “who tries tae catch the fish from the loch.”

It was then that it became apparent to Knox that Fia was making up the constellations, as well as the stories that went with them. He laughed softly, impressed by her ability to come up with all that—or was it perhaps something her own father had taught her, making up stories for her to amuse her as a child?

“These are nae constellations I ken,” he said.

“They’re mine,” said Fia and when Knox glanced at her from the corner of his eye, he could have sworn there was a faint flush on her cheeks, as though she were ashamed of it. “I used tae look out o’ the window an’ make up stories when I was younger.”

It was a sweet detail about her life, one that sent a surge of warmth through Knox. He could imagine her as a young girl, looking up at a sky full of stars and giving them their names and stories. Even knowing the true constellations, Knox thought he would much rather hear what she had imagined, all the stories that she had to tell.

“What else is there?” he asked, eager to hear more. At first, Fia seemed startled by his question, not expecting it, but then she turned her gaze back to the sky with a smile and traced another pattern.

“I call them the star-crossed lovers,” she said, and Knox could see why she would come up with that name. The constellations she traced could resemble two people if he looked close enough. “Dae ye see how it seems they are driftin’ apart, but can never truly be away from each other?”

Knox hummed, nodding slowly. He was not the kind of man to come up with such stories, to see such beautiful things in the sky, even if he enjoyed looking at them. Knox was practical, a soldier before he was anything else. Even when he inherited the title of the laird, he had always known that deep down, he would be a solider more than anything.

He liked Fia’s whimsy, the fact that she could find these stories within her and make up a world that belonged to her and her only. He couldn’t deny that it felt special to have her share it with him, but he also wondered if she had ever shared it with anyone else.

Bane, surely, kens.

“Dae ye have a star-crossed lover, then?” he asked, unable to stop himself.

For several moments, Fia didn’t speak. She only stared up at the stars, but her expression had shifted slightly, betraying a sense of grief that was palpable in the air between them.

“I thought I did,” she said, her voice trembling just slightly when she broke the silence. “I thought… well, it daesnae matter now what I thought. There was someone I thought I would wed but he was only usin’ me tae kill his time.”

Save for that initial sense of grief, there was nothing else to betray Fia’s emotions. It was as though she had suddenly turned herself into a still statue, closed off to him.

She was very different from the woman who had been sitting next to him only moments prior. It must have hurt her greatly, he thought, if the mere mention of that was enough to make her raise walls around her so quickly, and so he didn’t ask any further questions on the matter.

How could anyone refuse such a lass?

Not only was Fia a beautiful woman, with her large, doe eyes and her full lips, the soft curve of her jawline and the cascade of honey blonde hair, but she was also kind and warm and quite clearly intelligent, if she was capable of coming up with such beautiful stories. She was also a bit… goofy. And Knox adored it, for it made him feel light. Most of all, she wasn’t playing a role, trying to obscure her true self to be more palatable to him like so many other women, and it was this honesty Knox appreciated.

He enjoyed her company more than he had enjoyed the company of any noble born woman who had come to the castle with the intention of a marriage. This was what he sought in his wife—this ease, this openness, this beauty that came from within. Had Fia been the daughter of a laird instead of a peasant girl, he would have already proposed.

The thought startled him. For so long, he had tried to avoid marrying one of the women his council had suggested to him, but he could easily imagine a life with Fia by his side. He could make her happy, he thought, and she could do the same for him. And yet, circumstances would never allow such a thing between them.

Taking a deep breath, Fia raised her hand once more, plastering a smile to her lips that did not quite reach her eyes. “An’ that is the great horse,” she said as she traced another cluster of stars. “It moves the moon from east tae west.”

“Imagine ridin’ a horse o’ stars,” Knox said as he followed the path of her index finger. “Wouldnae that be somethin’ . . .”

“Ach, I wouldnae dae that,” Fia said with a soft laugh, shaking her head. “I never learnt how tae ride a horse.”

Knox’s head whipped to the side, shocked as he was to hear that. He didn’t think he had ever met someone who couldn’t ride a horse, but then he began to wonder if everyone in the castle knew. Could it be that the servants didn’t? Could it be that something which seemed so simple and integral to life to him be completely foreign to some of the people in his own castle?

He had never given it any thought. It was only now, talking to Fia, that he was suddenly confronted with the possibility and the fact that even though they all lived within the castle walls, his experience of reality was vastly different from that of those around him.

“We were very poor, all me life,” she added, lowering her gaze as if ashamed of it. “Me parents were poor an’ the Grahams were blacksmiths, but they had too many mouths tae feed, an’ when everythin’ happened… well… I never thought I would need tae leave the village or that I even could one day, so I never learnt.”

It was the kind of life Knox could hardly imagine. They were from different worlds, that much was true, but now that Fia was there, in Castle Stuart, he could make sure she would live a better life. Anyone who held such kindness in their heart deserved it, and since Knox had the means to provide it, he would.

The first thing he would do, he decided, was take Fia horse riding.