Stealing a Kilted Heart (Temptation in Tartan #8)

Chapter 10

CHAPTER TEN

K nox was seething with rage. His heartbeat pounded in his temples, the first stirrings of a headache already making their presence known, even as he stepped out of his study after a disastrous meeting with the council. Several days had passed and Callum’s team had managed to gather no information that was of any use to them, and though other teams were more successful, his was the one which carried most of the burden of the mission. If Callum failed, Clan Stuart would be at a disadvantage, their position so perilous that Knox had half a mind to call everyone back and send them out again in new teams. That would delay them, though, and they didn’t have much time to spare.

I should have never trusted Callum with this. I should’ve sent someone else tae lead.

What was done was done, though, and Knox now had to deal with the frustration and fury that came with the lack of results, while Alastair Gordon was on the move. They had other plans in the works, failsafes and backups, all meant to prevent an attack or at least stop Gordon’s forces successfully. If possible, Knox wanted to avoid a battle, as he wished to protect his men from death and harm, but if it came to it, he knew he could defeat Clan Gordon. For months, they had been planning their defense and he was confident they could emerge victorious.

In a quest to calm himself, he decided to go for a ride, and just as he was exiting the keep, he thought it was the perfect opportunity to take Fia with him and show her how to ride a horse. He had been so shocked when she had revealed it to him, astonished by the mere thought of someone never having the chance to learn something that seemed so basic to him. But he enjoyed riding and the sense of freedom that came with it, the knowledge that he could get anywhere he wished if only he travelled far enough, and he thought Fia may enjoy it as well, once she was acquainted with a horse.

On his way to the stables, he had one of the servants fetch her from her cottage and then continued on his way. When he got there, though, he was surprised to see Bane tending to one of the horses, brushing its fur with a stiff brush.

When Bane noticed him, he gave a small start, dropping the brush as he bowed. “Good mornin’, me laird. Forgive me, I didnae see ye.”

Knox waved a hand dismissively. “At ease,” he said. “I’m only here tae take me horse. Dinnae let me bother ye.”

“It’s nay bother,” Bane assured him. For the first time, Knox allowed himself to look at the other man, really look at him— the solid build of his body, the sandy blonde hair, the hazel eyes, and that perpetual smirk that never seemed to fade. He was a handsome man, even with the scar that ran across his jaw, faint yet long and jagged.

Could he truly trust Fia when she claimed there was nothing between them? The same thought had been plaguing him ever since the night they had spent together in the gardens, when she had claimed to have almost married someone who, by all appearances, was not Bane. He was well aware that none of this was any of his business. Fia was free to love and marry whoever she pleased, and yet the thought still left a bitter taste in the back of his mouth.

Surely, there are more lasses out there like her. This is naethin’ but an infatuation.

Knox had never had time for women or for indulging himself in trysts. There had been a few, of course, but none who had stayed with him for long, incapable as he was to give them his full attention.

“Are ye goin’ on a ride, me laird?” Bane asked, pulling Knox out of his thoughts. “Should I prepare a horse fer ye?”

“Thank ye, but I can dae it meself, dinnae fash,” said Knox as he approached his mare. She gave a soft snort when he petted her head and he liked to think that she was as excited to see him as he was to see her. “I thought I might take Fia on a ride. She told me she doesnae ken how tae ride a horse, so I wanted tae teach her.”

Bane gave him a curious look, and though he seemed quite confused, there was no hint of hostility in his gaze. “Would ye?” he asked. “That is very nice o’ ye, me laird.”

Knox nodded, lips pressed into a thin smile, trying to figure out if Bane meant it or if he was being sarcastic and in fact thought the very opposite. He was on the verge of driving himself insane with doubt over a matter that didn’t even concern him, and yet the more he thought about it, the more he obsessed over the question of Fia’s and Bane’s relationship.

Perhaps I should simply ask him. But he’s already said they’re like family.

They had no reason to lie to him. Had their relationship been romantic, surely, they would have said so. But what if they didn’t even know it themselves? What if their feelings for each other went deeper than either of them realized?

He tried, valiantly, to push such thoughts out of his mind. What good was it, wondering about the same thing over and over? What good was it tormenting himself?

“Ye ken how tae ride, dae ye nae?” he asked Bane instead, who nodded his assent.

“Aye,” he said. “Been ridin’ since I was a wee laddie.”

“So how come Fia never learnt?” Knox asked. “Did she have nae desire tae learn?”

Bane considered it for a few moments before giving Knox a small shrug. “I suppose she didnae find it necessary. An’ she didnae have many chances. We only have this one horse an’ we often lend it out tae others who need it.”

“Surely, bein’ a healer, even a midwife, must pay her enough tae buy a horse, at least,” Knox said. After all, it was a lucrative business—healers were always in demand, even in the smallest of villages, and Duror wasn’t that small.

“Ach, Fia doesnae often receive any payment in gold,” Bane said, much to Knox’s surprise. “Nae everyone in Duror is rich, me laird. In fact, most people in Duror arenae rich an’ Fia never turns them away, even if they cannae pay. Most o’ them pay her in food or fabric or anythin’ they can give her. It doesnae matter tae her as long as she can help them.”

For a few moments, before he could control himself, Knox stared at Bane in disbelief. He and Fia were very poor, that much was evident, and yet even when she could have demanded payment for her services to better her own life and circumstances, she preferred to give her care selflessly to all who needed it. She was truly a good, pure person, more so than anyone Knox had met before.

Something inside him stirred at the knowledge that Fia was willing to go to such lengths for others. Warmth spread over his chest and for a moment, he was struck speechless, the tenderness he felt towards her overwhelming.

“Does it surprise ye?” Bane asked with a small, slanted smile.

“I didnae think…” Knox let his words trail off, staring into the distance. “Nay… nay, I suppose it isnae that surprisin’.”

Bane’s only response was an even wider smile, and a pat on the shoulder as he walked past Knox and out of the stables—a gesture that would have seemed too familiar coming from anyone else, but which Knox could now only find reassuring.

“What is this?”

Fia stared at the horse in front of her, a large, black beast whose fur shone under the morning sun. It was a calm creature, standing still where Laird Stuart had guided it, in an empty part of the back of the castle, which was usually reserved for training the men. Now, though, it was empty, save for the two of them and the horse.

“This is a horse,” said Knox, rather unhelpfully. “Surely, ye ken what a horse looks like, Miss MacKenzie.”

Fia had to resist the urge to roll her eyes at him. Naturally, she knew what a horse was; what she didn’t know was why that horse was there and why a servant had rushed to her while she was in the healer’s cottage, claiming the laird had requested her presence immediately. She had left her chores unfinished, rushing through the castle grounds with her hands dusted with powders and her fingernails caked with remnants of the pastes she was preparing, only to find Knox waiting for her there along with the horse.

“I ken what a horse is,” she assured him. “Why have ye brought the horse here? Or rather, why have ye brought me here?”

“Tae teach ye, o’ course,” said Laird Stuart, so casually that Fia couldn’t help but wonder if they had arranged this at some point in the past few days and she had simply forgotten about it. But no, it couldn’t be; Fia would have never agreed to this.

“That is very kind o’ ye,” she said, keeping her responses diplomatic in the face of terror. “But I dinnae think it is necessary. I’m sure ye have many more important things tae dae other than teach me how tae ride a horse.”

“I have naethin’ else tae dae today,” said Laird Stuart, much to Fia’s chagrin. Why did he have to be so insistent? Why did he even show this much interest in whether she learned how to ride a horse or not?

She couldn’t say no to the laird, no matter how much the thought of getting on horseback terrified her. At least they were in an enclosed space, she thought, and there was nowhere the horse could run off on its own, with her unable to control it.

Maybe this is the right time fer me tae learn. Maybe it willnae be so bad.

Still, she stared at the beast in apprehension, and she was certain that the horse could sense it. It knew her fear; it knew she wanted nothing to do with it and it would soon exact its revenge.

With a determined inhale, Fia approached Laird Stuart and the horse, looking at the mare a little warily.

“It’s alright,” Knox assured her. “Here, ye can touch her.”

As he took her hand, Fia flinched at first, but then let him guide her to the horse’s mane, her fingers combing through the soft hairs. The horse neighed, shaking its head, and Fia was quick to pull back, much to Laird Stuart’s amusement.

“She willnae hurt ye,” he said. “She only wishes tae greet ye.”

Fia let out an awkward chuckle, desperately hoping Knox was right. She petted the horse’s flank gently, following Knox’s lead, and soon, she wasn’t that frightened of the creature.

And yet, she couldn’t say that she wouldn’t be frightened once she was on the saddle.

As she rounded the horse, Fia came to stand by its side, taking Laird Stuart’s hand to let him help her up onto the saddle. Once there, she did her best to appear calm at least, even if her heart was beating so fast that she feared it would jump straight out of her chest. However, even to her, her panic was clear. Her fingers clutched the reins too tightly, knuckles going white under the pressure, and her thighs tensed as she desperately tried to remain seated on the saddle, even as the horse made no effort to move.

“Ye see? That isnae that bad, now, is it? Now try to take a few steps,” Knox pushed Fia.

She felt unsteady, unmoored, her feet aching to stand back on solid ground, but she stared resolutely forward and tried to guide the horse on.

It didn’t move. Fia tried again, gently commanding it, but once again, the horse remained motionless, munching on a bit of grass it had found by its hooves. Next to her, she heard the laird suppress a chuckle and she turned to him with despair in her gaze, not knowing what to do.

Gently, Laird Stuart took the reins from Fia’s hands and began to lead the horse around the training area slowly, making sure to glance up at her to see if she was doing well.

“Hold on tae the saddle,” he told her, and Fia’s hands immediately reached for the front end, fingers curling securely around it. “An’ relax. Ye’ll fall off if ye’re so stiff.”

She tried, she truly did. It was easier said than done, though, and with every step the horse took, she found it even more difficult to relax. Everything felt unsteady. Fia feared that the moment she would move a single muscle she would tumble off the saddle and hit the ground, and then, if she was unlucky enough, it would also be the moment when the horse would decide to step on her.

“Miss MacKenzie, relax,” Laird Stuart repeated, reaching up to tap her knee gently. The touch was so unexpected that Fia almost jumped off the saddle, and the sudden movement only served to scare her even more, her thighs tensing harder. “I willnae let ye fall. Dinnae fash.”

Laird Stuart spoke so warmly, so sincerely that Fia couldn’t help but trust him. Ever so slowly, she began to relax, letting her body adjust to the natural rhythm of the horse’s gait until she was comfortable enough to release the death grip she had on the saddle. She straightened her back and began to get used to the feeling of it.

Now that she was more comfortable, more attuned to the rhythm of the horse’s gait, she found the ride, if not exactly entertaining, then at least pleasant. There was something calming about riding, something almost meditative in the steady movements of its body, and soon, she cracked a small smile, glancing at Laird Stuart, only to find him already looking at her.

It wasn’t until a little later that she stiffened again, when Laird Stuart said, “Should we head out?”

“Head out?” Fia asked, her eyes widening in terror. “Out where, me laird?”

Laird Stuart chuckled, his shoulders shaking ever so slightly. “Out. Tae the woods. Perhaps we can pass by Duror.”

Fia’s heart skipped a beat at the mention of her village. It hadn’t been long since she had left it, but a part of her already missed it dearly, knowing she would most likely never live there again. As much as the thought of visiting excited her, she didn’t like the idea of riding all the way there, on her own, on uneven terrain. This was her first time steering a horse! How could Laird Stuart expect her to ride all the way to Duror?

“I dinnae think I’m ready,” she said. “Perhaps another day.”

Laird Stuart seemed to consider this for a few moments, before he took a few steps closer until he was right by the horse. “I’ll ride,” he said. “An’ ye can enjoy the view.”

Before Fia could say anything else on the matter, Laird Stuart was climbing onto the saddle behind her and all she could do was shriek in terror and hold on for dear life as the horse adjusted to their combined weight. It had hardly moved and yet Fia felt as though she had been terribly jostled, almost thrown off the saddle.

Much to her chagrin, Laird Stuart laughed.

“Ye’re all right,” he assured her. “I’m here.”

And there he was, indeed. At first, Fia hadn’t realized just how close they were, panicked as she had been, but now she could feel his chest brush against her back with every breath he took. His arms encircled her torso as he reached for the reins once more and Fia could feel the heat emanating from his body, draping around her like a cloak.

Fia was painfully aware of their proximity as they rode through the courtyard and came up to the main gates. She was certain all eyes were on them, watching her carefully as she shared the saddle with Laird Stuart, and undoubtedly everyone was wondering why they were even together at this time of the day, on a horse no less.

Were they wondering where they were going? Were they wondering whether Laird Stuart had an interest in her?

Does he have an interest in me?

The thought was as daunting as it was exhilarating. This was exactly what she had wanted from the moment she had found out she was going to the castle and it would mean she was one step closer to her goal, but she couldn’t help but be a little apprehensive now that she had met Laird Stuart. It was one thing, planning to deceive a man she didn’t know; it was another deceiving a man who had sat with her that night, listening to her speak about her life, a man who had welcomed her and Bane in his home.

But then she remembered Callum and the way he had treated her—as though she was worthless, as though she held no intrinsic value—and the memory fanned the flames of her fury, once again making her determined to complete her plan. It wasn’t as though Laird Stuart would suffer with her by his side. If she managed to marry him, she would be a good wife to him. She would make sure he had a happy life.

“Are ye alright?” Laird Stuart asked as they rushed past the countryside, down a winding path that led towards Duror. “Ye’re nae scared, are ye?”

The truth was that Fia was a little scared. Even when she wasn’t the one steering the horse, her nerves always got the better of her, forcing her to stiffen once more and hold onto the saddle for dear life. However, Laird Stuart’s solid presence behind her gave her some reassurance that she wasn’t going to fall. It was easy to surrender to the feeling of safety when she could feel his arms around her, his chest against her back.

And before she knew it, the village of Duror appeared before them in the distance and her chest tightened at the sight of it.