Stealing a Kilted Heart (Temptation in Tartan #8)

Chapter 13

CHAPTER THIRTEEN

T he whisky burned its way down Knox’s throat as he tossed back the remainder of it. It was still early in the day, terribly so—in fact, it was hardly dawn yet, but he hadn’t slept a wink that night. The fire in his study crackled pleasantly, the flames warming him as much as the alcohol did, but what should have been a good morning quickly turned sour with Magnus’ report.

It was that which warranted the drink, and Knox had poured them both a cup without hesitation. It spoke to Magnus’ mental state that he, too, drained it, when he usually refrained from drinking strong liquor so early in the day.

“How many camps?” Knox asked, fearing the answer.

“Three so far,” said Magnus from where he sat across from him, drumming his fingers against the armrest. Dark circles shadowed his eyes and he looked pale, but Knox knew he was no better. Both of them had spent countless sleepless nights going over strategies and reports, and it was taking a toll on them both. “Two within our borders an’ one right outside.”

“Gordon men?”

“That’s what we think.”

“But ye’re nae certain?”

Magnus drew in a sharp breath, releasing it slowly. His hand scratched the back of his head as he spoke. “Who else would it be?”

It was a good question. As far as Knox knew, they didn’t have any other enemies. Clan Stuart wasn’t friendly with all neighboring clans, but there was tentative peace in place even with those they had once considered their enemies—all save for the Gordons.

How many of those clans would support the Gordon forces if it came to it, Knox wondered? How many could Alastair Gordon pull to his side and, could Knox work on arranging some alliances before Laird Gordon could?

But they are already in our lands. An’ who kens how many more will come?

“Who gave the report?” Knox asked, though he was quite certain he already knew the answer. He doubted it was Callum’s group, but even now, he thought perhaps it would be good to give him the benefit of doubt.

“Fergus,” said Magnus. “Rode in the middle o’ the night tae alert us.”

Just as Knox had thought. Fergus wasn’t from Callum’s group, but rather from one of the other few he had sent out in search of Gordon forces. He let out a long sigh, letting the weariness sink in without trying to fight it for once. He was tired; Magnus was tired. He didn’t think there was anyone in the clan anymore who didn’t feel the same weariness in their bones, the same prolonged fatigue that came with constantly being on high alert.

News had spread, naturally, despite Knox’s best efforts to contain the rumors and to reassure the nobles and their wives. Everyone knew by then that the clan was preparing for an attack and Knox could feel the restlessness and the fear of everyone else around enveloping the entire castle. The very air seemed to have shifted, something in it becoming heavy and oppressive, and he could feel it whenever he passed the servants, the maids, and the soldiers in the hallways and courtyards.

It affected him greatly, more than he would have liked to admit. No matter how much he tried to tell himself they were prepared for this, it was easy to lose faith.

“Stayin’ here an’ drinkin’ all day willnae help with this,” Magnus said, standing up with a decisive inhale. “Come, let us fish.”

“Fish?” Knox couldn’t help but snort at that, the sound as disbelieving as it was inelegant. “Dae ye truly think it’s time tae fish?”

“I think it will clear yer head,” Magnus said. “That’s what ye need, some time tae think about other things.”

“Like fish?”

“Like fish.”

Knox stared at his friend, rather certain that he would soon reveal he was only joking, only to find that he was entirely serious. Magnus gave him an encouraging nod and despite himself, Knox stood and followed him out of the study, his footsteps heavy and dragging.

Perhaps Magnus was right, he thought. Maybe all he truly needed were a few hours to himself, a few hours during which he could do nothing but stare out at the lake and think.

The more he thought about it, the more appealing the prospect became. He had been working very hard in the past few weeks and he deserved a break. If nothing else, Magnus was right—it would help clear his head. Fishing always did. It was one of those activities that calmed him like nothing else, letting his troubles melt away for a short while.

It was early in the day, too, which meant they could have a good catch. Dawn had just begun to break in the horizon and the lake was close enough to the castle grounds to reach it before the sun was too far up. Just as they were walking through the courtyard, though, Effie’s familiar voice called out to them, and Knox turned around to see her there with a basket full of herbs, Fia standing next to her.

As Effie rushed towards them, Fia followed, trailing after her. Effie put the basket down, wiping her hands on her apron.

“Magnus, I was wonderin’ where ye went,” she said, as she reached into her pocket and pulled out a creased letter. “This came fer ye last night.”

“What is it?” Knox asked as Magnus unfolded the piece of paper, perusing its contents. He cursed quietly under his breath when he read it, and Knox, ever curious, tried to read it over his shoulder.

“A disturbance in Duror,” Magnus said. “Dinnae fash, I’ll go down an’ see what happened. Ye can go tae the loch.”

“I’ll come with ye,” Knox said, but Magnus was quick to hold up a hand.

“Nay. Ye’ll go tae the loch like we agreed. I’ll take a few men with me an’ we’ll be back afore sunset.”

Magnus wouldn’t take no for an answer, Knox knew. He had that determined look in his eyes, the one that made it clear no one would stand in his way now that he had made up his mind. Instead of trying to convince him, and since he didn’t want to go to the lake alone, Knox turned to Effie instead as Magnus hurried off to gather the men and the horses.

“Dae ye need Fia today?” he asked her.

“Aye,” said Effie, but when Knox narrowed his eyes, giving her a meaningful look, she stammered, “… dinnae need her at all! There really isnae much tae dae today.”

“Excellent,” said Knox, before turning to Fia. “Would ye like tae come tae the loch with me, Mrs. Mackenzie? I’m goin’ tae fish.”

Fia seemed as confused by the invitation as Effie was, glancing between her and Knox. In the end, she nodded timidly, and Knox didn’t know if it was because she truly wanted to join him or because she thought she didn’t have any other choice. Either way, he was glad to have some company.

The ride to the lake was spent mostly in pleasant silence as he and Fia shared the same horse once again. She still didn’t trust her riding skills and if Knox were honest, he agreed with her. Sharing the saddle, though, meant that they were once again very close to each other, with his chest pressed firmly against her back, and the more Knox thought about it, the more he had the urge to shift and move away from her, even if he knew there was nowhere to go.

He was attracted to Fia—there was no doubt about that. He wanted to spend a night with her. More than one night if he had to be honest. He was so attracted to her that a part of him feared the proximity would lead to an embarrassing situation, and so he tried his best to distract himself, thinking about anything other than the woman right in front of him.

Much to his relief, it worked, and by the time they were at the lake, Fia didn’t seem to have figured out any of his internal anguish. Knox helped her off the horse and grabbed the fishing rods they had brought with them, his boots sinking into the mud the closer he got to the bank. The lake stretched before him, a steel grey that reflected the cloudy sky and glimmered under the soft morning sun. It was a chilly day, his breath fogging in the air in front of him, but it was brighter than the days that had just passed. The rays that pierced through the clouds were not enough to warm him, but they brightened his mood just as they brightened everything else around them.

Just watching the water was enough to bring about a sense of calm in Knox’s mind. He stood there for a while, simply staring into the distance, as Fia approached him slowly, coming to a stop next to him.

“Are we fishin’ from here?” she asked.

Her words set Knox back into motion and he turned to her with a smile. “Nay. See that shed? There is a boat in there.”

He and Magnus had stashed the small boat there, so it would be ready any time they wanted to use it. Knox made his way to the shed, frowning a little as he considered his next steps. With Magnus there, moving the boat had never been an issue, but now that he was alone, pushing it into the lake was a rather difficult task. By the end of it, sweat coated his brow and the back of his tunic was soaked, but at least he had managed to place the boat in the water.

Pulling it closer to Fia by the rope that was attached to its end, Knox helped her step inside before doing the same and putting on his cloak to battle the chill that the sweat on his back only intensified. Then, he rowed them to the middle of the lake, where the waters were deeper and the fish plentiful, and he cast his line with ease, watching as it flew far from the boat.

Fia watched him, too. Then, without saying a word, she stood and cast her own line—only to have it land right in front of the boat. Knox had to bite back a chuckle at that, watching with fascination as the color flooded Fia’s cheeks, turning her skin a pretty pink.

“Never done it afore?” he asked. There was no shame in it; he would gladly help her, but Fia pressed her lips into a determined frown as she reeled the line back in.

“I can dae it,” she insisted and once the rod was ready, she tried once again. This time, she sent the line flying with plenty of strength, but her momentum got the better of her and before Knox could do anything to stop it, he watched her stumble on the boat and then fall right into the lake.

“Fia!”

Does she ken how tae swim?

Standing up in a panic, Knox peeled off his cloak and tossed it aside carelessly, ready to jump into the waters. Just as he was about to jump off the boat, though, Fia resurfaced, her head breaking the surface of the water with a gasp.

“Fia!” Knox called once more, hands instantly reaching for her to pull her back up onto the boat. “Are ye alright? Did ye swallow water?”

“I’m fine,” Fia said, her voice coming out in a pained gasp. “Just very, very cold.”

With Knox’s efforts and her assistance, Fia was back onto the boat within moments, shivering from head to toe. She was soaked to the bone, her honey blonde hair sticking to her face and her tunic sticking to her body, the fabric clinging to her skin in a way that left little, if anything, to the imagination.

Knox couldn’t help but stare. It was far from proper, but he had spent several nights wondering what he would find under Fia’s clothes and now that he had gotten a taste of it, it only made him crave more. It was even worse when she rushed to remove her now soaked cloak, which was doing more harm than good, and so revealed to him all the ways in which her dress clung to her; the fabric pressed over the small swell of her breasts, the curve of her hips, trapped between her thighs.

The fear of an embarrassing situation returned with a vengeance, and this time for good reason. Knox could feel himself harden under his tunic, his manhood taking an obvious interest in the sight of her like that.

It wasn’t until a few moments later when he realized neither of them had moved or spoken at all, and it was then he also realized Fia had noticed him staring, her arms coming up to hide her breasts.

Blood rushed to Knox’s cheeks, and he immediately sprang into action, unclasping his cloak to wrap it around Fia’s shoulders. It was the least he could do, not only to warm her up but to atone for his very obvious ogling.

“Forgive me,” Fia said in a small voice, much to Knox’s surprise. If anyone should be apologizing, it was him, not Fia.

“Fer what?” he asked.

“Fer scaring all the the fish away fer one. And.. well… fer the state of me clothes.”

Knox’s brows knitted together as he attempted to decipher Fia’s words. Could she truly mean that, could she be apologizing to him for is mistake?

“I’m the one who should be apologizin’, Miss MacKenzie,” Knox said. “I shouldnae be starin’ at ye, but I cannae deny yer beauty.”

Fia’s gaze snapped up to meet his, her cheeks heating as she wrapped the cloak a little tighter around herself. Perhaps it had been the wrong thing to say, Knox thought, but between his panic when he saw her go under and his arousal at seeing her body, he didn’t really know what he was saying at all.

There was one thing he longed to know, though, even if asking would only make their situation even more awkward. “Ye seem tae apologize a lot and tae truly underestimate yerself in many ways. Did a man make ye think that?”

For a moment, Fia hesitated and Knox thought she wouldn’t answer him. But then she nodded quietly, confirming his suspicions.

“Was it the same one tae whom ye were meant tae be wedded tae?”

Another nod, this one even more timid. “He… he always criticized me, me home, me work. He also told me I look like a laddie. I thought… I thought all men might think the same about me. ‘Tis also why I apologized, I guess…”

With a sigh, Knox sat down across from Fia, their knees brushing against each other. “He doesnae sound like a man who deserved ye.”

At that, Fia cracked a small smile, something he took as a victory. “I suppose ye’re right,” she said. “But it’s difficult tae nae believe him sometimes.”

Before he even knew what he was doing, Knox took Fia’s hand and guided it to his manhood, pressing it against his length. “Is this proof enough?”

Fia froze, her eyes widening, but she made no effort to pull back from Knox. She only stared at him, her breath quickening, her chest heaving with every inhalation. He took it as a good sign. And then, emboldened by her reaction, he reached for her and kissed her.

Fia’s lips were a little cold but so soft against his. His fingers tangled in her wet hair, pulling her closer, and in that moment, every concern from the past few weeks finally truly melted away. He could think about nothing else; nothing but Fia there with him, soft and pliant as he kissed her.

And then she moaned, the sound soft and tender, sending a jolt of arousal through him, and that was when Knox pulled back abruptly. He, too, was wide-eyed and panting, shocked by what he had just done.

This was nothing like him. He was always in control of his actions. He was even in control of his thoughts, never allowing himself to stray too far into unwanted territory. What could have possibly possessed him to do such a thing now? He was supposed to be a perfect gentleman, to treat every woman with respect, and yet he couldn’t claim to have treated Fia with any respect now.

“Forgive me,” he said once more, clearing his throat as he grabbed the oars and began pulling them towards the bank. “I shouldnae have done that.”

He dreaded the ride home. He dreaded everything that was to follow, and yet he had no other choice but to spend more agonizing moments with Fia before he could retreat into his study and try his best to avoid her. He didn’t dare even look at her. The last thing he wanted was to see contempt in her face, anything that would reveal she now despised him and thought little of him.

He didn’t think he could bear it.