Stealing a Kilted Heart (Temptation in Tartan #8)

Chapter 14

CHAPTER FOURTEEN

“ Y e will never believe what happened.”

Those were the first words out of Fia’s mouth the moment she was back in the castle. She searched for Bane immediately, her heart racing, desperate to tell him what had happened between her and the laird. She had dragged him from the forge back to their cottage so that she could be certain it was just the two of them, with no one around to eavesdrop.

“Why are ye wet? An’ whose cloak is that?” Bane asked, ignoring her. “Come, sit. I’ll light a fire.”

Fia hadn’t even realized she was still wet. She didn’t even know she was cold up until that moment or that she was still wearing the laird’s cloak. Everything else but that kiss had evaporated from her mind. The kiss and the… the other thing. All that was left was the memory of the laird’s lips against hers, the way he had pulled her close.

He had brought her hand to his manhood. The memory sent a new wave of embarrassment through Fia, but she couldn’t deny it was coupled with an arousal so great that she was swaying on her feet. Never before had she felt such a rush of excitement, such a thrill. Even with Callum, whom she had thought she loved, the thought of laying with him had not been as exciting as the few moments she had shared with Laird Stuart.

But then he had apologized and withdrawn, and the ride back to the castle had been silent an awkward in a way nothing had ever been between them before. Doubt gnawed at her. Laird Stuart had been very clear about his attraction towards her, but then he had dropped her off and disappeared, and Fia couldn’t help but worry that he would avoid her from then on.

She couldn’t have that, she had to make sure he did not go off her.

When Bane lit the fire, Fia grabbed a chair and dragged it closer to the flames, rubbing some warmth back into her arms.

“Sit,” she told him. “Ye need tae hear this.”

“I’ll make ye some tea an’—”

“Bane, sit,” Fia insisted, and it was her tone which finally convinced him to take a seat next to her, looking at her expectantly.

“Well?”

Fia took a deep breath, steeling herself. Now that it was finally time to tell Bane, she found it difficult to speak, but if she didn’t share this with him, she was certain she would burst.

“Laird Stuart kissed me.”

Bane, staring at her in absolute disbelief, choked on thin air.

Three days had passed with Knox never once seeing Fia, but he knew he would bump into her sooner or later. At least now he felt more comfortable, more at ease, the memory of that kiss and that touch buried deep in his mind, where he could safely ignore it.

He couldn’t say the same about his attraction to Fia. That only grew with every passing day, no matter how hard he tried to focus his energy and attention on other things. Often, at night, it was all he could think about, having Fia for himself. Now that she was sitting down the length of the table at dinner, it was difficult to remember why he wanted to avoid her in the first place.

It had been Effie’s request. She had wanted Fia there, and of course, wherever Fia went, Bane followed.

Knox watched the two of them as they chatted. He watched as Bane grabbed the pieces of turnip from Fia’s plate and replaced them with some of his potatoes. He watched as she poured some of her wine in his cup.

He watched the little touches they exchanged, so painfully familiar, the two of them moving around each other with such practiced ease, the kind that came after years of living with someone.

Next to him, Magnus was speaking, but Knox hadn’t heard any of it. His attention was solely focused on Fia and Bane, and it wasn’t until Magnus snapped his fingers in front of his face that Knox dragged his attention to him, gaze still distant.

“What?” Knox asked, much to Magnus’ chagrin.

“I said there is an issue with the main gates,” Magnus said, slowly this time as though he believed Knox could hardly understand him. “With the chains.”

“I can help with that,” Bane called from the other end of the table. “Are they gettin’ rust?”

“Seems like it,” said Magnus. “Ye should look at them when ye have the chance.”

“On the morrow,” Bane promised. “I’ll dae it first thing.”

How terribly helpful o’ him.

It was a bitter thought, one Knox wished had never popped in his mind. He couldn’t help it, though. For all the reassurance he had received that there was nothing romantic between Fia and Bane, he was terribly jealous—now more than ever. He had tasted her lips and he couldn’t help but want more. He wanted anything he could get and he didn’t want Bane to stand in his way.

The rest of the dinner passed by in a blur. Knox hardly touched his food, but when everyone stood, he sprung into action, stopping Fia before she could leave.

“May I walk ye back tae the cottage, Miss MacKenzie?”

Fia glanced between him and Bane, and Knox cursed under his breath. Of course, she already had a chaperone for the way back, though she didn’t need one, seeing as they were inside the castle walls.

“I must head out tae the forge anyway,” said Bane before Knox could come up with an excuse. Either it was a blessed coincidence or Bane was removing himself from the situation, which though reassuring, was confusing to Knox. “I’ll see ye later, Fia. Me laird.”

With a bow, Bane was gone and Fia was free to accept Knox’s company. He offered her his arm and a shiver ran down his spine when she took it, the light weight of it a comfort like no other.

The two of them walked in silence for a while in the courtyard, Knox taking the long way around just so that they could spend some more time together. The stars were bright that night; shining pinpricks of light pushing through the sparse clouds. The air was crisp and Knox was glad to have an excuse to hold Fia close, the two of them sharing their body heat. Once again, the silence that stretched between them was comfortable, nothing like the one they had shared on the way back from the lake.

Still, neither of them had mentioned that day. Knox didn’t know whether he should say something or let it fade from memory as much as he could, and so he refrained from bringing it up just in case. He doubted Fia would say anything on the matter anyway. Surely, it was even more uncomfortable for her, since she had been the one to endure his advances.

Then there was also the matter of Bane. Knox tried to hold his tongue; he really did. And yet, just as they were nearing the cottage, his jealousy got the better of him.

“Bane… surely, he must be meeting with a lass, right?” he asked, trying to be casual about it.

Fia shook her head. “Nay, he would have told me.”

Knox didn’t like that one bit, nor was it the answer he had been expecting. “Right, well, are ye certain it isnae because he is already in love with… another lassie?”

Fia looked at him with a small, confused frown. It took her a few moments to understand what it was he was trying to imply, but when she did, her eyes widened comically and she came to a sudden stop. Then, she hesitated, and Knox could almost see the gears in her head turning as she considered his question.

“He wouldnae,” she said, and though she sounded entirely convinced of it, Knox still wasn’t.

“How are ye so certain?” he insisted.

“Because… because he doesnae like lasses!”

Immediately, Fia clamped a hand over her mouth as though she was shocked by her own confession. Knox was shocked, too, and he stared at her in disbelief for a few moments, trying to sort out his thoughts as best as he could.

He doesnae like lasses? What does he like?

Lads?

“Och,” Knox said, the thought bouncing around in his mind again and again. He didn’t know what to make of it. He had heard of such cases, but he had never met someone like that before—someone who was attracted to the same gender. It came as a surprise to say the least, and now that he knew the truth, he had trouble coming up with the right thing to say.

Under any other circumstances, perhaps he would have been quick to judge, but Bane was a good man. And even he could admit it, after having spent the entire time he had known him being jealous of him. Besides, Fia adored him and if nothing else, he didn’t want to say anything that would offend her.

It was strange. It wasn’t something Knox had considered before, but he supposed it hardly changed anything. Bane was still Bane and the fact that he preferred the same sex only meant that Knox truly had no competition.

“Please, dinnae say anythin’ tae anyone,” Fia said, grabbing both of Knox’s hands and holding them in a bruising grip. “Promise me ye willnae, me laird. It could be dangerous fer him. An’ promise me ye willnae say anythin’ tae him either, fer he wouldnae forgive me fer it.”

Knox nodded immediately, carried away by Fia’s panic. “O’ course I willnae,” he promised. “His secret is safe with me, Fia. An’ please… call me Knox now.”

It felt right. He didn’t want this useless formality to separate them any longer.

“Knox,” Fia said quietly in the small space between them. It was only then that Knox realized how close they were to each other, sharing the same breath.

All he had to do to kiss her was bridge that small gap, press their lips together once more. He leaned closer and closer, slowly, giving her the time to pull away, but she stayed right where she was, waiting for him.

“Me laird! I’m so glad I found ye!”

A guard’s voice startled Knox and he and Fia pulled back from each other immediately, putting a great distance between them. The sudden cold made him shiver, his body already missing Fia’s warmth.

“There’s been another report,” said the guard. “Mr. MacLeod requests yer presence.”

With a sigh, Knox pinched the bridge of his nose. It couldn’t have been worse timing, but duty called and he couldn’t ignore it. It could be an important report. It could be something that would change the tide of the conflict, and his first duty was to the clan.

“Forgive me,” he told Fia. “I must tend tae this.”

“It’s nae problem,” she assured him. In the moonlight, her cheeks were flushed and her lips a soft pink, and Knox still ached to kiss them. “I understand. There is nae need tae apologize.”

“Ye can walk back the rest o’ the way on yer own?”

“Och aye,” said Fia. “Thank ye.”

With one last smile, Knox turned around and followed the guard, but not before he gave one last glance to Fia to hold him over until he would see her again.

“Is this truly somethin’ fer which ye had tae call me?” Knox asked, looking at Magnus from behind his desk. As usual, they were in his study, sharing a pitcher of wine, but this time, Knox would much rather have been with Fia—from whom Magnus had separated him.

“Ye’re the one who said ye wish tae see all the reports yerself,” Magnus said, but the exaggerated innocence with which he spoke those words only made Knox suspect him even more.

“Did ye dae in on purpose?” he asked.

“What?” Magnus asked, scoffing. “Nay. What does that even mean?”

“Ye did it on purpose.”

A short silence stretched between them before Magnus threw his hands up in the air. “What dae ye think ye’re doin’? I see ye, Knox. I ken what ye want, an’ I must warn ye that ye must put an end tae it right the now. If it was just about bedding her I’d nae say a thing, but I believe that’s nae the case.”

“So it was on purpose,” Knox insisted.

“Aye, o’ course it was!” Magnus said, more exasperated than Knox had seen him in a long time. “I didnae want ye tae be gallivantin’ around with Miss MacKenzie!”

“We werenae gallivantin’ ,” Knox protested, although he didn’t know what kind of word could describe what they were doing. “I was simply walkin’ her back tae her cottage.”

“Aye, is that all?” Magnus asked. “Naethin’ else happened?”

Knox didn’t even need to respond for Magnus to know the truth. The two of them knew each other well enough to have a mental catalogue of each other’s tells, and the moment he had asked the question, Knox had given himself away.

“See?” Magnus asked. “I kent it. Ye cannae hide it from me.”

“So what?” Knox demanded, leaning over his desk to stare at Magnus in a challenge. “What if I wanted tae take her back tae the cottage? What if I wanted tae kiss her?”

Magnus let out a long-suffering sigh as he collapsed back on his chair, all the air seemingly leaving him until he had completely deflated. “As I said, if this was naethin’ but a tryst, I wouldnae say a thing,” he said, shaking his head. “But I’ve seen how ye look at her. Ye’re very fond o’ her, are ye nae?”

Knox could hardly hide it. He was, indeed, very fond of Fia, to the point where he had even considered marriage—if only she had been born a noble girl.

“I am,” he admitted. “But that daesnae mean anythin’.”

“It daes,” Magnus insisted. “Ye ken the council will never allow somethin’ like this.”

Knox knew it well. He never expected his council to agree with such a marriage, and that was why any thought of it he had ever had about it was wishful thinking. Still, the idea clung in his mind like a leech clings to skin and it would not let him go.

“I ken that,” Knox reassured him. “I ken it. Dinnae fash. Let us talk about somethin’ else.”

He didn’t want to confront this truth just yet, not fully. For a while longer, he wanted to live in the fantasy that he could have Fia, that the two of them could have their happily ever after. It wasn’t only her looks or her wit which attracted him, though those attributes were attractive enough on their own. There was also that warmth about her and that vulnerability that she so often managed to hide, but which she just as often revealed around him. There was something special about it. There was something he could not resist.

And for as long as he could, he wanted to live in the belief that they could have something real.