Stealing a Kilted Heart (Temptation in Tartan #8)

Chapter 16

CHAPTER SIXTEEN

U ndignified as it was for a man of his status, Knox found himself searching for Fia at all times of the day, whenever he wasn’t busy with clan matters. Ever since she had first come to the castle, there hadn’t been a single day he hadn’t seen her, and yet five days had passed without him seeing her at all. He only managed to catch glimpses of her around corners and in the courtyard, but the moment she spotted him, she suddenly always had something to do .

She was avoiding him; there was no other explanation.

It must be because o’ Bane. He must have told her what happened an’ now she doesnae wish tae talk tae me.

Knox couldn’t blame her. She had specifically asked him to say nothing, neither to anyone else nor to Bane himself, and he had almost instantly done the exact opposite. Why did he have to go ahead and speak at all? He should have kept his mouth shut and then none of that would have happened.

I hope I havenae offended either o’ them terribly. But how can I even apologize fer it?

Knox thought that perhaps he could give them a gift as a gesture of goodwill and as an apology, but he didn’t know what that gift could possibly be. Then, he thought of doing his best to track them both down and apologize in person, but even then, he worried he would only make things worse. A part of him wondered if he should perhaps allow some more time to pass until it was all more or less forgotten and they could all move on from it, but that seemed like the worst of his options. What if the more he waited, the worse the situation became? What if Bane and Fia were simply stewing in rage, wondering why he wasn’t even offering them an apology?

The chaos of his thoughts almost drove him mad. He was constantly distracted, at dinner, in his meetings, and now, in practice, which had earned him a wound on the arm. It was a small one, and not particularly deep, but it warranted a healer’s attention, and so Knox made his way to the cottage, hoping he would find Effie there.

But instead of Effie, he only found Fia.

When she saw him at the door, she froze, a small bunch of herbs getting crushed between her fingers. Knox couldn’t help but wonder if she was imagining his head in the herbs’ place, getting squeezed to death.

“Me laird,” she said stiffly, giving him a curtsy. At least she seemed to have gotten the hang of that, Knox thought, as she was now much more graceful than when she had first come to the castle. It didn’t escape Knox’s notice, though, that she had gone back to using his title, as though he had never given her permission to call him by his first name. “Is there somethin’ the matter?”

“Aye,” said Knox, clearing his throat awkwardly. “Is Effie nae here?”

Fia shook her head. “She’s gone tae the village. Can I help ye?”

Knox hesitated, considering the possibility of waiting for Effie to return, but in the end, he didn’t want to risk an infection. The swords they used to train were not particularly clean, and debris had already fallen in the wound.

“I cut meself trainin’,” he said, turning so Fia could see the wound that was half-hidden under his sleeve. “I dinnae wish tae bother ye, but I thought?—”

“It’s nae a bother,” Fia said, cutting him off. “Please, take a seat.”

Knox did as he was told, sitting down on a chair near the workbench. He watched Fia in silence as she flitted about the room, getting clean cloth and a few jars and putting a pot of water over the fire to warm it, before she approached him to take a look at the wound.

“Could ye… remove yer shirt, please?” she asked, her voice timid and quiet.

Och, o’ course. She cannae dae it through the shirt.

He didn’t know why the request surprised him so much. He had simply thought that after all that time Fia had been avoiding him, it would be the last thing she would ask of him, but he reminded himself that this was not Fia, the woman he had kissed, but rather Fia, the castle healer. It was her duty to take care of him regardless of what was happening between them.

Swiftly, Knox removed his shirt, bunching it up and holding it in his lap. His fingers toyed nervously with the edges of the fabric, twisting and pinching it as Fia leaned closer and took a careful look at his wound, prodding it with gentle touches.

That first touch after so many days of distance was like a flame against Knox’s skin, igniting his entire body.

Desperately, he tried to shift his focus from Fia’s touch to anything else that could distract him. He gazed around the room, taking in the small details he had seen a hundred times before but never truly noticed—the way the sunlight danced in the glass jars that Effie had stacked on the shelf, the scent of the herbs that permeated every inch of the room, the small, shallow crack in the wood of his chair. None of it was enough to distract him from Fia for long, though, and eventually, he caught himself staring at her as she worked, taking in her bold, striking features.

He had begun to think that his earlier assessment had been incorrect. There was, in fact, no other woman like Fia and though it was a difficult realization to make, now that he could recognize it, he hoped there was something he could do about it.

Is it truly so bad tae desire her? Would the council be so opposed?

After all, regardless of her pedigree, she was a healer and that position came with a certain prestige. If he explained to the council that he had fallen for her, if he tried to make them see that she would make an excellent Lady of the Clan, with her caring and gentle nature, then…

But nay, how would they ever accept this? I was never meant tae wed fer love.

All this power in me hands an’ I cannae even decide whom I will wed.

What good was it, having all that influence when he was bound to be trapped in so many other ways? For someone who was in charge of an entire clan, his own freedom was so limited that sometimes he wished he had been born a peasant instead.

When Fia finished dressing his wound, she finally looked up and caught him staring, but Knox didn’t avert his gaze. If nothing else, he at least wanted to know if she was still avoiding him and why. Was it because of Bane? Was it because of the kiss? Perhaps it was a combination of the two, and Knox had the urge to apologize for both, but he found himself speechless as he gazed into her bright green eyes. For a moment, it seemed to him as though they were suspended in time—frozen, both unable to utter what they truly wanted to say and yet sharing an understanding so profound and deep that words were unnecessary.

Breaking that silence also came naturally. “Thank ye,” he said, and even he was surprised by how soft and warm he sounded. He could neither deny nor hide his feelings for Fia anymore. From the moment he had first met her, he had been doomed to fall for her.

There was a second when Knox thought Fia would let him kiss her. When it seemed to him that the past few days didn’t matter at all and everything between them had shifted, Fia’s avoidance and hesitation removed by this simple moment of connection. Her eyes, slightly wide, sparkling in the morning sun, were pinned to him, her gaze dancing between his eyes and his lips.

But then she pulled back from him abruptly, putting so much space between them that Knox suddenly felt the cold draft from the window surrounding him.

Had he been mistaken, after all? But no, it couldn’t be. He could tell Fia felt drawn to him, too. He could feel it in his bones.

“That should be enough,” Fia said as she began to clean up her working space. “If there is any pain or signs o’ infection, please make sure tae tell me or Effie.”

With a sigh, Knox leaned back on his seat, simply watching her as she hurried around the room for a short while, before finally giving in and giving up. He put on his shirt once more and stood; it was clear to him there would be no further conversation.

“I will,” he assured her as he walked to the door. “Thank ye again, Fia. I hope tae see ye soon.”

At those last words, she froze for just a split second, her hesitation almost imperceptible. As she looked away from him, Knox shook his head to himself, concern and doubt creeping into his mind, coiling like a snake around him. Even as he retreated, Fia never once glanced back at him, too absorbed in whatever she was doing at the workbench.

Before he left, he glanced at her once last time and the distance between them seemed to stretch into the length of the sea.