Stealing a Kilted Heart (Temptation in Tartan #8)

Chapter 17

CHAPTER SEVENTEEN

“ W hy dae we always come tae these things?” Bane mumbled as he and Fia walked into the great hall that night to celebrate the birth of the son of one of the council members.

Fia couldn’t help but ask herself the same thing; neither of them was familiar with the man and though some of the other castle workers, like the blacksmith and the marshal, were also in attendance, Fia didn’t know why the laird insisted on inviting her and Bane when they clearly didn’t blend in with the rest of the crowd. Perhaps in a few years, if they managed to retain their positions for that long, they would be able to walk among the nobles with the same grace and knowledge of customs, but as it were, now they stuck out like a sore thumb, not so much because of their more humble, plainer clothing, but rather because they themselves didn’t feel like they belonged there at all.

The entire great hall buzzed with excitement and conversation and laughter, the ladies dressed in colorful garments and jewels that glittered under the light of the chandeliers and the candelabras. The men, too, wore their finest clothes, and though for them it was just another feast, Fia couldn’t even begin to imagine how much such clothes could cost and how many mouths they could feed instead of using all that gold for ornamentation. The wine flowed freely around the tables, which seemed to buckle under the weight of all the food placed atop them. The musicians played tirelessly, filling the room with their sweet, lively tunes, and under any other circumstances, Fia may have enjoyed herself immensely, just as she had at the feasts held in the village.

This was not her village, though, and those people weren’t her neighbors. More than ever, she was acutely aware of the difference between herself and them, especially when she realized that she and Bane were drawing the gazes of the nobles around them, who openly stared. Never once did they try to hide it. Never once did they stop to think that they were making the two of them uncomfortable, unwelcoming as they were.

But they had been invited there, and so there they were trying their best to brave the storm.

“It’s fine,” said Fia, swallowing around the knot in her throat. The only lifeline she had was Bane, but with him, too, in such a state, it was impossible for them to calm each other. They only ended up feeding off each other’s nervousness, and she could only hope that the whole affair wouldn’t last too long.

Maybe we can slip away undetected. Why would anyone even pay any attention now that we have made an appearance?

The nobles wouldn’t care about them leaving early. She doubted any of them would even notice, absorbed as they were in their own conversations and their own worlds. She and Bane would only have to be present for a short while, just long enough to honor the council member and his wife, and then they could disappear without a word to anyone.

Or at least it would have been that simple, Fia thought, had Laird Stuart not spotted them right away upon their arrival.

Fia cursed under her breath. She had hoped that Knox would keep his distance after everything that had happened between them, but even now, he was walking towards her with a smile on his face, as though she had never once acted cold and distant towards him.

Did he not care about her behavior at all, she wondered? Did he not mind that she had done everything in her power to avoid him and make it known that she didn’t wish to be around him?

Or had she only been fooling herself? Maybe her attempts at avoiding him had not been as clear or as forceful as she liked to think and she was, in fact, too weak and too lovelorn to make it clear that she wanted him to stay away.

When did I start trying tae push him away instead of pulling him closer?

“Welcome,” said Laird Stuart as he reached them, giving them both a small bow of the head in greeting. Fia and Bane bowed to him, though deeper, befitting a laird. Fia was only glad that she had managed to get the hang of a curtsy without embarrassing herself anymore. Slowly yet steadily, she was becoming a proper inhabitant of the castle.

Once, she would have marveled at such a thought. She would have worked tirelessly for it, for a chance to become an integral and inextricable part of the castle, but now she didn’t know if it was something she wanted anymore. She missed her home, the village, or rather, she missed the simplicity of living there and this feeling that she truly belonged, that she was among her people. She had gone to the castle for all the wrong reasons and she was realizing it more every day.

“Thank ye fer invitin’ us, me laird,” said Fia as she tried to pull herself together. Thinking about the village and her old life didn’t serve her at that moment. She had made her choice and she had to follow through. “It is truly a lovely feast.”

“I’m glad ye’re enjoyin’ it,” said Knox. “Please… take a seat, have some food an’ wine. The cooks have been workin’ all day preparin’.”

Days rather, Fia thought. There was no way they could have prepared all that food in merely a day, but of course, Laird Stuart couldn’t know that.

Even as she and Bane took their seats at the very edges of the room, next to some minor nobles, Laird Stuart seemed to be staying close by. He was still milling about the tables, talking to and entertaining his guests, but Fia could feel his gaze on her like a beam of light that always followed her, no matter how she moved.

She couldn’t help but fidget under the attention, indirect as it was. She couldn’t sit still on the wooden bench, nor could she focus on the people around her, only half-hearing what one of the women at the table was telling her.

“Did ye ken, Miss MacKenzie is from Duror,” the woman told another guest, the man who sat across from her and next to Bane.

“From Duror?” the man asked. “How odd fer such a dreary place tae produce such a lovely lass.”

“What is the matter with Duror?”

Fia spoke before she could stop herself, drawing all the gazes around her towards her. Bane shifted uncomfortably next to her, his gaze flitting back and forth between her and the man, who was now stammering, trying to come up with something to say.

“Naethin’, o’ course,” he said, raising his hands up in surrender. “I merely meant that it is nae quite as nice as Castle Stuart.”

“Aye,” said Fia bitterly. “’Tis rather kent that castles are, in fact, nicer than poor villages.”

Silence settled heavily over the table, but she couldn’t bring herself to care. She had heard so many comments while there. She had received so many stares, so many questioning looks. She knew she and Bane didn’t fit in at all among all those opulent men and women, but she didn’t need to be reminded of it every second of every day. Sometimes, it felt as though Callum was still there, lingering over her shoulder, reminding her just how worthless and meaningless she was.

Before anyone could add anything, Knox appeared in her peripheral vision as though he had been summoned or as if he could feel the charged energy at their table. He sauntered over with the confidence and ease of a man who knew he would have the last word in any argument in the room. But just as Fia thought he would try to calm the nobles with soothing words, he instead offered his hand to her.

“May I have this dance, Miss MacKenzie?”

A collective gasp echoed through the table. Fia had to admit that she was just as shocked as the nobles at being asked by the laird himself to dance, but how could she reject him when everyone was watching? There was no avoiding it. She had no choice but to accept the hand offered to her and stand, just as a lively song began to play.

What is he thinkin’!

“I dinnae ken how tae dance,” she hissed as Knox pulled her towards the area cleared for the dancers in attendance. All the dances she knew were the ones they danced together in the village and she had no idea how he expected her to follow him without tripping all over herself.

“That’s alright,” he assured her. “I’ll show ye.”

Fia cursed under her breath. She was going to make a fool of herself in front of everyone, even in front of Knox himself. If she had the nobles’ attention before, it would be even worse now. In her mind, she could already hear their whispers, ridiculing her behind her back.

She didn’t even realize when they reached the dance floor, Knox placing a hand on her waist and pulling her close. Suddenly, she was surrounded by twirling people, flashes of color bursting in the corners of her eyes as the others moved around them. He had pulled her in the middle of the dance floor, where they were bound to bump into everyone else, and Fia could only wish that the ground would open up and swallow her whole before she had a chance to make a fool of herself completely.

“Relax,” Knox said in a soft voice. “I’ve got ye. Dinnae fash.”

Knox sounded so confident and so earnest that Fia had no choice but to believe him. His hands were strong where he held her, his chest a solid heat against her body, and she had to admit that even if she felt terribly exposed in front of such a big crowd, Knox gave her a sense of safety and comfort amidst this unfamiliar scene.

Moving with grace, surefooted and gentle in his guidance, Knox pulled Fia along through the small crowd of dancers. All she had to do was let him take the lead as he spun and twirled her around the room, not only confident in his movements but also exhibiting a strength that took Fia’s breath away.

He could move her like she weighed nothing, his touch gentle yet firm, his feet moving seemingly of their own accord. Fia could imagine him in a fight, moving with the same grace, the same ease, taking down opponents as easily as he could dance her around the room.

At a particularly vivid part of the motive, Fia suddenly realized how close they were to each other. Their noses almost brushed with every step they took, their breaths mingling; every touch felt like a flame against her body, even through all the layers of clothing that separated them, and his gaze was locked on hers, neither of them able to look away from each other.

It was as though everything else had faded away—the guests, the food, even the room itself. Fia couldn’t even hear the music anymore, lost as she was in those intimate moments with the laird.

A pit opened up in her stomach, larger and hungrier than any she had ever felt before. Dread gripped her at the thought that she had been lying to the laird for this long and now they were dancing together, he none the wiser and she drowning in her guilt. She had promised herself that she would stay far away from him. She had promised herself that the plan with which she had come to the castle would be abandoned and that no matter what, she would make sure Laird Stuart didn’t fall for her.

And yet now that she was in his arms, staring into the deep blue of his eyes, tearing herself away from him was a herculean task. For the first time in her life, she felt truly desired. For the first time, someone other than her closest family had looked at her and decided that she was worth the effort, that she deserved something good.

I wish I could blame this whole mess on Callum but I cannae… It’s all me fault!

“Excuse me,” she said, the words tumbling past her lips hurriedly as she pulled herself back from Knox and took a few stumbling steps backwards. As she did, she fell into another dancing couple behind her, making them lose their footing, but she didn’t stay there long enough to see if they were ok. Mumbling an apology that was drowned out by the loud music, she fled the room, desperate for some fresh air—and for some distance between her and the laird.