Stir (The Sizzle TV Series Book 5)

Chapter 18 – Nic

Natalie finally letting Finn pull her skirt off, her panties gone, nothing between us. Finn kissing her, telling her over and over and over again how beautiful she is, how strong. There’s something going on there, but I’d been too out of my mind to pay attention at the time.

Finn, taking me in hand for the first time, no latex to dull the sensation, blinking in surprise when I came too soon.

Watching them together late in the night as Natalie swore she had to leave, right up until Finn kissed her and touched her and bent her over the back of my sofa until she was boneless from her orgasms. It was hours before he drove her home at last.

Nearly forty-eight hours of sex, sleep, eat, and start all over again. Every muscle in my body protested Monday morning, but sweet mercy, it was worth it.

I’ve managed to keep my hands off them since we’ve been back in the office this week. I’m not about to start screwing around at work. There’s been a fair amount of head-slapping when my door is closed. Not only have I gotten involved with my sole employee, but I’ve also managed to get my next-door neighbor tangled up with us as well.

The ways we got tangled up this weekend flash through my mind, creating a filthy flipbook of things to try, and notes for next time, adding themselves to an apparently never-ending wish list. I’d have expected sharing the woman I… have feelings for would be a deal-breaker, but my body doesn’t have a problem with it in the slightest. If anything, Finn seems to make her better, and I certainly can’t bring myself to blame him for wanting her.

By Wednesday evening, I’m about ready to break that not-in-the-office rule, too.

Natalie and Finn are bickering about what to order for dinner, which I wouldn’t usually hear, except I haven’t closed my office door all week, which does fuck-all for my concentration.

Right. Because the door is the problem.

Finn leans over her desk, arguing his point—something about how fried chicken can be healthy, which, honestly, who is he kidding—and Natalie is leaning over, half-standing so they’re nearly nose-to-nose.

I wonder who’s going to break first, if she’ll tug on his tie to close those last couple of inches or if he’ll slide a hand into her hair to guide her lips to his. God. This is exactly why I should never have touched them in the first place. Either of them.

Exactly how badly did I fuck up this weekend? Let me count the ways.

Natalie catches me watching them and smiles. My foolish, foolish heart stutters and flips over in my chest. My pulse picks up, and I’m halfway across the room to go to them when my phone blares an alarm.

Natalie’s face goes from hopeful to bemused. Guess we both forgot I’ve got plans on my own this evening. I gather up my things, close my computer, and lock my office door behind me, something I never used to even consider doing.

We’d moved the petty cash box in there, and Natalie has the only other key to the room. Apart from changing offices altogether, there isn’t much else we can do about the break-in. It’s on the police to find out who did it, assuming they could get there before Rand finds the guy.

“Happy hour?” Natalie says. Finn leans against the wall behind her, sporting the same low-grade heat in his eyes since he left my apartment to drive Natalie home Sunday night.

“You don’t look all that happy about it,” he observes.

“Ha. It’s a networking event.” I feel like a pompous prick just using those words, but that’s what it is. Frankly, I’m not all that happy about it. I’d rather be arguing about dinner plans. “You two have fun at dinner.”

A beat of awkward silence stretches out. Natalie tips her chin up for a second, and I know she wants me to kiss her, but she blinks and sits back, like she’s just remembered where we are.

I haven’t kissed her in three days.

Finn looks between us, rolls his eyes, then strides right up to me. He wraps a hand around the back of my neck and pulls me in for a kiss, soft and quick. He lingers over it, his lips clinging to mine, then steps back.

“Not in the office,” I say, way, way too late. I’m half-hard and already wondering whether the office door is locked.

Finn rolls his eyes again. “You’re ridiculous. Knock on my door when you get finished with the good-ole-boys club.”

“It might be late.” Now I’m just being an asshole. I don’t even want to go to this thing.

“We’ll be up. Right, Natalie?” Finn says it with a leer.

Natalie grins, amusement bright in her eyes. I want to kiss her so badly. So I do. Wouldn’t be fair for me to kiss him goodbye and not her.

That’s my story, and I’m sticking to it.

Natalie on her knees,taking my cock as she sucks Finn off, her dark, sweaty curls tangling over her shoulders. She’s the most beautiful thing I’ve ever seen and I thank God for the thousandth time I get to see her like this, for however long it lasts.

“What do you think, Nic?”

I blink away the memory, coming back to the present. Four other guys, only two of whom I actually know, are standing around me, staring, waiting for an answer.

“Say again? It’s loud in here.” Lucky for me, that’s true. We’ve been in here an hour, and the place is already packed with too many suits blowing off too much steam. At least three trays of shots have made the rounds, and those were just the ones I saw.

I get it—cutting loose with people who know what your job is like. Kindred spirits, whatever. But this has never been my scene. Work and play don’t mix, not for somebody like me. Not if you want to keep any of your secrets.

“There you are, Nic!” Dad’s voice booms behind me, his big hand clapping me on the shoulder. Reason number one I wasn’t excited about this event tonight.

“Hi, Dad. Hey, Tucker,” I add, greeting the man who comes up with Dad.

“Pendy Junior!” says my former classmate. “Long time no see.”

I’m not known as Junior, but that’s never stopped Tucker. His dad and mine go way back, and Tucker’s always quick to remind me of it.

“Didn’t see you at the golf scramble this weekend,” says Dad. “Everything okay?”

“Just tied up with work,” I say blandly. I’d flat-out forgotten about it.

Tied up—added to the list. I wonder if Natalie and Finn are back from dinner yet. It’s only been an hour, but they might be in a hurry.

Christ. Get a grip, Nic.

Tucker laughs. “I think you’ve forgotten how to have friends, man. Now and then, we’re supposed to call each other, check in, see how things are going.”

Tucker’s a friend—of sorts—from law school, though as friendships go, the foundation leaves a little to be desired. We survived 1L together, and that’s a bond you can’t break. Like a good son, he went and joined his own father’s law firm across town.

“You’re still at that little office in the Sizzle building, yeah? A little birdie told me you’ve got some help these days.”

Tucker nudges Dad with his elbow. Dad raises his glass, tapping it to Tucker’s beer bottle. A knot forms in my stomach.

“You need a subcontractor or something? I can forward you some recommendations,” I say, deliberately misinterpreting his comment. Tucker laughs again. This time it takes on an edge I don’t care for.

“No, man. Your dad’s been talking about some pretty little thing you’ve got working for you these days. He’s been going on about her for weeks. She must really be something. Thought maybe I’d swing by and introduce myself.” He wags his eyebrows, grinning like an asshole. My jaw clenches hard enough to crack.

I want to tell him she’s taken. I want to tell him she’s mine and that she’s been mine from day one. But she’s not, not really. Not mine any more than she’s Finn’s because if she’s anything, she’s ours.

What the damn hell would happen if Tucker, Dad, or anybody else I know found out I was not only dating my personal assistant but sharing her with another man?

If this thing between us got out, I’d never get another client, not in a town this conservative. God only knows what they’d say at Legal Aid. There’s no law against unconventional relationships—at least, not like ours. Not that this is a relationship.

I close my eyes, staving off the rising panic.

I have no idea how the other volunteers at Legal Aid would respond. We’ve always gotten along quite well, but that might change if they know more about my personal life. Half of those people are here tonight. I picture Tucker’s face if he found out—there goes my invitation to the annual alumni cruise. Hell, most of my colleagues in the area would cut me off, if only to avoid pissing off my father.

Tucker and Dad are joined by a couple of lackeys from Tucker’s office, sycophants who want to hear my dad’s opinions on some case that made the regional news. I couldn’t care less.

Everybody in this bar tonight would shut me out if this… thing with Finn and Natalie was made public. Bad enough, I’d be dating my personal assistant; they’d let that one slide. It’s practically tradition. Like father, like son.

My stomach turns at the thought.

It’d be uglier if they found out Natalie was dating us both. Uglier still if they found out Finn and I were together.

The knot in my stomach grows. The raucous noise fades into the background. Three guys standing at the bar, identical in their suits, nobody I recognize or care about in the slightest, have their heads tipped together just close enough they can gossip about me, like I’m not standing right fucking here, their eyes darting at me then away when they realize I can see them.

Between the space of two heartbeats, it dawns on me: I don’t know what they’re saying. And it doesn’t matter. It doesn’t matter in the slightest. I haven’t done a goddamned thing, and people are going to gossip no matter what. Not just those guys—every damn body on the planet. Why should I worry about what they say about me? Some of it’ll be true, most of it won’t; that’s just the nature of gossip.

So why the actual fuck should I care?

My professional reputation is beyond reproach. My friends think well of me, obviously. My family… well, it is what it is. They’ve known me my whole life, and they still don’t get me. My being with Finn and Natalie isn’t going to magically make them understand me.

I can’t control what anybody, literally anybody, says, thinks, or talks about. All I can control is my actions. And suddenly, I’m just done acting like somebody I’m not.

If I can’t take a chance on the two people who make my heart beat faster, who want me to be a part of this incredible, impossible thing between us… what the fuck am I even doing?

I set my glass on the nearest table and blink, the room coming into focus in a way it hasn’t done at any other point tonight.

“Whoa, buddy, where’s the fire?” Tucker again, stepping aside as I make a beeline for the exit.

“There’s somewhere I’ve got to be,” I say. I can’t control their words. I can only control my actions.

Time to act.

The drive home is a blur. Thankfully, Natalie’s car is already there, so I don’t have to track them down in public. The restless need, the ache for them, builds under my skin beyond just the itch to touch and be touched. I need my hands on them both. Three days is too long to go without them.

I take the stairs two at a time, rapping my knuckles on Finn’s door. I have just enough time to wonder if they’re already naked and won’t hear my knock when the door opens.

Finn’s surprise melts into a smile.

“Didn’t think you’d be here until?—”

I shove him back against the wall, kicking the door shut behind me, cutting him off with a kiss. Natalie says something as she approaches. I pull back just enough to get my hands on her, pushing her up next to Finn against the wall, kissing her like I can’t get enough.

Who am I kidding? I can’t.

My hands are full of him and her and how the hell am I supposed to go back to living without this? Without them?