• Twenty-Four •
“Whatever it was that caused him to do the things he did must have been caused by some powerful emotion.”
Briar
Either Dovie wasn’t as heartbroken about this as I’d thought she would be or she was being strong for me. I was leaning toward the latter. I wanted to reassure her, but talking at all seemed to be too much for me just yet.
I sat on the bed in the bedroom Maeme had given me and stared at the wall. I had been doing this since I had woken up this morning. I couldn’t find the strength to get out of bed.
I had decisions to make and plans to figure out. This was all so complicated, and my head was weary from the brokenness inside of me. My phone rang, and I tensed, afraid to look over at it. Pepper’s name was on the screen. I guessed Storm wasn’t screening my calls, or perhaps he was. I didn’t know how it worked. Pepper had called this number instead of Dovie’s, so that must mean something.
Picking it up, I touched Answer, then placed it to my ear.
“Hello?” My voice sounded foreign to me. It was hollow and hoarse, as if I’d been screaming all night.
“Did you get any sleep?” she asked in a gentle tone.
“Eventually,” I replied.
It had taken me hours to fall asleep. I cried until there were no more tears, and then I had fallen asleep, wishing that I would wake up and it would have all been a bad dream.
“I tried Dovie’s phone first, and it went straight to voice mail, so I thought I’d try this one. Do you feel comfortable talking on it?”
I shrugged, although she couldn’t see me. Did it really matter anymore?
“It’s fine.”
“I know you want to figure things out and need time to work through it all, but I will come get y’all. It can’t be easy, being in the thick of the family while you’re hurting.”
I thought about it. Going to Miami. Staying with Pepper. Working at the bar and getting enough money to get us an apartment. We no longer had to run … thanks to Storm. Dovie could get a job. I’d find her a school. Get health insurance for us both. Start a new life.
But every time I thought of it, my chest ached so bad that I couldn’t breathe. “I don’t think I am ready to leave yet. It’s a process.”
Leaving someone you loved should have an instruction book.
“I understand. But once you’re away from there, it’ll be less painful.”
Possibly. If I could survive actually driving away. I knew I was going to have to eventually, but today wasn’t that day, and tomorrow wouldn’t be either. I had to grieve, and I needed to be locked away in a room to do it.
“I’m sure it will be. Just a couple of days to prepare. We need our things.” I had no idea how we were going to get those. I’d not been in a good headspace to pack things up yesterday.
“Will someone go get them for you?” she asked hesitantly.
“Maeme will arrange it, I think.”
“She’s the grandmother, right? I mean, it’s really nice she is letting y’all stay, but can you trust her? She is Mafia.”
“Yeah, I can. She doesn’t agree with Storm’s choices.”
She’d looked let down in him, ashamed of him, but not surprised. As if she had thought it was a possibility.
“Okay,” she replied. “I’ll wait to hear from you.”
“Thanks, Pepper.”
“That’s what friends are for.”
Until her, I hadn’t known just how helpful it was.
We said our goodbyes and ended the call. I knew there wasn’t a better option for us. Going to Miami was the best answer. I had a job, we had a place to stay for the moment, and I had a friend. I should be relieved, but I just felt an emptiness when I thought of it.
My phone dinged, and I looked down at it. Storm’s name was like a punch in my gut. I read the one sentence he’d sent.
No matter where you go, you will always be mine.
I dropped the phone and covered my face, wishing I hadn’t looked at it. He hadn’t called or texted after I left yesterday, and part of me had expected him to. I’d told myself if he did, I would turn my phone off. But there had been nothing from him. He must still be monitoring my calls.
A knock on my door startled me, and I stared at it. I wasn’t ready to see anyone. Not even Dovie, and I hated that. She deserved more from me. I was doing all I could to keep from falling apart over and over.
The knob turned, and Maeme appeared with a tray of food in her hands.
“Thought I’d bring you breakfast. You need to eat something. Dovie has already eaten and is out in the sunroom, reading a book.”
I nodded. “Thank you. I’m sorry I haven’t come out. I just …” I didn’t know what to say. I was a complete wreck?
“Don’t go apologizing to me. You’ve had your world rocked. That’s the kind of blow that knocks you to your knees. You stay in here as long as you need.”
She placed the food on the bed in front of me.
“Thank you,” I said again, not knowing what else to say.
She was treating me like one of her own when I wasn’t. Storm was. I didn’t have adequate enough words to say to her.
“I’m gonna say something, and then I won’t say no more,” she began. “That boy did some downright stupid stuff.” She shook her head with a sigh. “I ain’t agreeing with any of it. Not a one. But until you, I’d have said Storm was one of the most sane boys out of my bunch. My own grandson included. Whatever it was that caused him to do the things he did must have been caused by some powerful emotion. That ain’t something everyone gets in this life. Which is probably good since it’s criminal behavior, but that’s beside the point. This life here, the one we live, it ain’t black and white. It’s a real dark shade of gray. And not everyone is meant for the things that might not be considered stable in our heads.”
She patted me on the hand and motioned for the food. “Now, eat something, or you’ll get weak.”
I could only nod. She turned and left the room, closing the door with a quiet click. I stared at the breakfast she’d brought me. Waffles, bacon, fresh berries, and whipped cream. Even looking at it, I had no appetite. She’d gone to the trouble of making it and bringing it up here to me. I had to force some of it down.
I thought over the things she’d said. Not sure if she was trying to tell me I either had to face the fact that Storm was and would always be twisted or that they were all twisted in their own way. This was deeper than them being involved in criminal activities. I understood that. I didn’t judge.
What Storm had done … how could I accept that as love? It couldn’t be love. It just couldn’t. Love was stronger than crazy. And what he had done was ten notches past crazy. I’d have never wanted to do those things to him. If he had wanted me, all he would have had to do was turn on the charm. Heck, the man had had me wet and panting more than once when he was still treating me like an asshole.
I picked up the bacon and stared at it. My stomach was in so many knots that I knew I couldn’t eat it. The last time I’d had bacon, Storm had made it for me. I winced and dropped it back onto the plate. Reaching for the fork, I jabbed at the berries. I needed to get something down. I didn’t want to upset Maeme.