Storm (Georgia Smoke #4)

• Twenty-Five •

“Reckon none of that makes you see red, feel a little unhinged.”

Briar

I couldn’t stay in the bedroom forever. Making myself get out of bed this morning, I took a shower and put on the clothing Maeme had brought me yesterday. She’d asked me if I wanted to send for our things at Storm’s, and I had just nodded since my throat constricted painfully when I tried to speak. That was one more step closer to my leaving.

The hollowness in my chest was a part of the sorrow that now plagued me. I wondered if Pepper was right. Would it be better once I was gone? I didn’t see how that was the case.

I walked into the kitchen to see Dovie sitting at the bar with a glass of milk, eating pancakes. She lifted her gaze to mine and gave me a sad smile.

“Morning,” I managed to croak out, wanting to burst into a fresh batch of tears at the sight of her. I walked over to the cabinet to get a glass, then turned back to her. “Is Maeme here?”

She nodded, then put her fork down and signed, “I think she went to the bathroom.”

Picking up the pitcher of orange juice, I poured some into the glass, then took a sip. Dovie continued eating but was watching me. I knew she had questions, and I wished I had solid answers. At least ones I could verbalize. Thinking about going to Miami was one thing. Saying it out loud was another.

“I’m sorry I’ve been locked away.”

She put her fork down. “I understood.”

Did she though? She was only fifteen. Would she get why I had to leave? Why staying here was toxic? That Storm not truly loving me would eventually demolish it all? This happiness we had found. This sense of … home. Choosing to stay with him would be selfish. Because it wouldn’t just be me who got hurt in the end. Dovie would have been even more settled into her life here. This thing he felt for me would fade. Perhaps abruptly end one day. He’d get bored or find another woman he wanted more.

I set the glass down, trying not to think about him and another woman. The one who he would fall in love with. The one he couldn’t lie to. He couldn’t manipulate and hurt. I hated her. I despised her.

“Good morning,” Maeme called out.

I turned to see her smiling at me with concern in her expression. She was measuring up where I was emotionally at the moment. I wanted to tell her I was currently torturing myself with thoughts of a woman I hoped I never laid eyes on. I didn’t care how far in the future that might be; I couldn’t imagine not wanting to claw out her eyeballs.

“You made it out of the room. That’s a positive. Good for you,” she said, sounding hopeful. “I was going to see if Dovie wanted to get out of the house and take a ride with me to grab a few things at the store.”

I glanced at Dovie, and she took one last bite, then stood up and nodded her head at Maeme. She’d gotten accustomed to not being inside all the time. I was sure she was aching to go somewhere. Even if it was just to the grocery store.

“Is there anything that sounds good to you? Something you might eat?” Maeme asked me.

I shook my head. “No. Nothing does.”

She pressed her lips together, but she didn’t push or lecture me. “All right then. Dovie and I will be back shortly. Might do you some good to go enjoy the back porch and get a little vitamin D and fresh air.”

I wanted to run back to the bedroom and curl up into a ball. “I’ll do that.”

“Good,” Maeme said as Dovie rinsed her plate and put it in the dishwasher.

I took another drink of juice as Maeme went to get her purse. Then, she and Dovie said goodbye and left me there.

The silence was a blessing and a curse. I didn’t have to talk, but my thoughts would just beat at me until I wanted to scream. The door closed, and I stood there, trying to focus on the birds I heard in the feeder outside the window. The leaves in the wind. Anything but what I’d been thinking of.

The door opened again, and I heard heavy footsteps. Clenching the countertop, I tensed as the familiar sound of boots on the hardwood drew closer. Had this been a setup? Maeme wouldn’t do that to me. My heart felt like it was in my throat and pounding away like it was trying to break through. What did I say? Did I run? Was he going to force me to go with him?

When Thatcher walked into the kitchen, I let out a breath as my knees slightly buckled. It wasn’t Storm. He hadn’t come to get me. The fact that there was disappointment laced through all the other emotion didn’t surprise me. There was a part of me that wanted him to burst in here, claiming he loved me and proving it. He would show me how he could love me properly. He’d have explanations that made sense as to why he had done the things he had. It was just sad because I knew there were no answers that would make all that okay. That was a fantasy I had to let go of.

Thatcher looked at me and paused, then continued into the room, going over to the platter of pancakes and sausage. He picked up a pancake and took a bite, then made his way to the refrigerator.

“I was wrong about you,” he said, breaking the silence as he opened the door and pulled out a gallon of milk.

I didn’t reply, but waited to see if he was going to elaborate. He set the milk down, then looked at me, making me slightly uncomfortable. There was a flicker of disgust.

“I thought you were dark enough, that you’d lived through enough shit that you had the spine to handle this life. To understand Storm.”

He was going to turn this on me now? Would they all do that eventually? Maeme hadn’t made excuses for him really, but she had said some things that I’d thought about while lying awake last night. Making me question it all.

“This life you all live isn’t the issue. I can’t trust Storm. He doesn’t love me. What he did was psycho behavior. All because he wanted to keep me to himself? He did all that to make me dependent on him. Well, it worked. I was his. I fell in love with him. But he still continued with the crazy stuff. He wouldn’t even let me work. He didn’t want to share me.”

I stopped because I realized I wasn’t even talking to Thatcher. I was reminding myself why I had to go. Why I couldn’t forgive him and stay. Because every moment that ticked by and I was still here, I wanted to run back to him.

Thatcher took another bite of the pancake in his hand as he gave me a scowl. “That’s funny,” he said after he swallowed. “Because he asked me to get you an audition with a producer. I have a business associate in Nashville that owns a record label.” He took a drink of his milk and leaned back on the counter behind him. “That sounds like he was setting you up to share you with the world. Guess we see things differently.”

I gaped at him. He wanted me to believe Storm was going to help me get a record deal. I would have to be around a lot of people. There was no way he was going to let that happen. The man wouldn’t let me work at a freaking bar.

“He might have done some shit that you can’t accept as love or whatever. Never seen him give a fuck about a woman before, but he sure as hell wanted you.” He drank down the rest of the milk, then walked over to get a piece of sausage as I stood there, not sure what to believe or even feel.

“Guess the fact that Lula Mae has been taking him meals, even showed up at the stables today and waited to see if he’d come or not. Lucky for her, he finally left his house. She’s real happy about it too. She’s doing everything she can to take your place. Reckon none of that makes you see red, feel a little unhinged. Seeing as how stable you are,” he said, then stuck the sausage in his mouth and walked out.

I stared at the door long after he left. The simmer inside me slowly began to build. My teeth clenched as I thought of her touching him. Being near him. Going in his house.

He had asked Thatcher to get me an audition at a record label. I seriously doubted I’d get a deal. I wasn’t that talented, but he believed in me that much. Was there anything he wouldn’t do for me? He’d gotten me custody of Dovie. He had set up a school for her. Did someone do all that lightly? No. His actions hadn’t all been unhinged. And when he looked at me… my heart had trusted.

I swallowed hard and closed my eyes. God, when he looked at me, I had never questioned his love.

Did it all come down to one question—could I live without him? Would I truly be alive if I lost him? Right now, my heart sure didn’t feel that way.

I shook my head as I opened my eyes and took a deep breath. No, I didn’t want a life that he wasn’t in.

What he’d done was wrong. I hated that he’d lied to me. But did I hate it more than the thought of losing him? I hadn’t left yet. I hadn’t told Pepper to come get me. Why? Because I was the one lying to myself. Not accepting that leaving him was impossible. I was still here because deep down, I’d always known I couldn’t physically do it. He loved differently. Expressed it in a way that was difficult to understand but it didn’t make it less powerful. Less real. And if this was how Storm showed his love, with insane and possessive behavior, I’d rather it be me than someone else he was doing it to. Not some future wife and not fucking Lula Mae. Me.

I stalked out of the kitchen and headed for my room. I needed to get my boots on. I didn’t have a car here, but I could walk from Maeme’s property to the Shephards’ and climb the fence. I’d made my decision, and for the first time in forty-eight hours, I could take a deep breath.