Suddenly You (Our Exception Book 2)

Epilogue

The mouth around my dick is wet and tight as I grab on to the full head of hair and yank. I hear him gag and my skin prickles at the sound. Fuck yes, this cunt is getting what he deserves. Offering to meet me and suck my cock in a public place—only a whore would do that. And so I treat him like one. A fucking slut begging to be used.

I let my dick slide out of his mouth, and then I shove it back in, listening to him moan as I fuck his throat.

What a loser—a pathetic, needy man on his knees for a stranger. I can see his free hand working his own dick through his pants, getting off on the degradation. He wants this just as much as I do.

But then again, they never complain. I’ve had my dick sucked hundreds of times by random men. In car parks, on beaches, in clubs.

Once even by a cop who pulled me over in the woods for loitering.

They’re always so desperate.

Fuck.

My balls draw up as I hold his face against my groin, smashing his nose against my neatly trimmed pubic hair and forcing him to swallow. He loves it, loves choking on me, loves fighting to breathe. When I finally let him inhale, he gasps but doesn’t pull off, only sucks me harder, so rough and desperate that I’m seeing stars.

When I come, I make sure to explode across his face, leaving him messy and wrecked. Marking him, making it hard for him to walk around without evidence of what he just did. And then wordlessly, I pull up my pants and stare down at him, his dick straining from his pants, his face a cum-covered mask.

“Passable,” I grunt and then pat his head like the dog he is, leaving him kneeling in the sand as I trudge away. I never reciprocate. Never. That’s not what this is.

I’m not gay.

I can’t be gay.

The stars are twinkling overhead, the full moon out. It’s a nice spring night, warm, tepid. I shove my hands in my pockets, riding the wave of adrenaline as I stalk along the edge of the shore. It’s always fun cruising for men, for someone to get me off. It’s reckless and dangerous, and despite knowing I could get into trouble for it, I can’t seem to stop.

Maybe I want to get caught. Maybe I want someone to put a stop to this. To put me in my place.

In the distance, I see a party, something fancy and expensive. Something I could never afford, even with all my savings. Under yellow string lights are several tables, a large floral crescent arch facing the crashing waves.

Someone’s getting married, I think as I scoff. Someone happy, someone in love.

My mind swivels to my brothers. Magnus. Max. Both married. To men.

Gay as the day is long.

My jaw clenches, an angry click resounding in my skull.

Gay.

They’re fucking gay.

Although Matt is too, probably. Judging by the way he looked at that roommate of his. The tender way he carried him around.

I rub at my chest, the euphoric bliss slipping into a pained ache.

They’re together, my brothers, they’ve created a life without me. I wasn’t invited. I’m never included.

My mind flashes to my dad, or who I thought was my dad.

Two weeks ago, my biggest concern was the fact that my brothers had abandoned me, moved on without me, and then I found out that our dad isn’t really my dad at all.

Not biologically anyways.

It seems I’m no one’s.

I’m fatherless and brotherless.

As I approach the twinkling lights, hearing the happy laughter and chatter of the guests, I see a familiar figure in the distance.

Max and his Beau, kissing under the stars, looking content and happy.

Is this why he’s stopped talking to me? Because he’s with another man?

My heart beats faster, rage pulsing through me.

Fuck them.

Fuck them for finding love when I can’t even seem to find myself.

Why I even care what they do, I don’t know. They showed me who they are, who they care about.

And it’s not me.

It’s never been me.

I’m not even their brother, not fully. Maybe that’s the disconnect.

Maybe they know. Maybe they found out and hate who I am even more.

My feet stop moving, and my entire body locks up.

My gaze catches on another figure moving in the light. Sem and Magnus, my brother in his husband’s arms. Two little kids holding on to their father’s legs. They’re dancing, smiling, teeth showing as they throw their heads back and laugh.

It’s ridiculous. Infuriating. How two people can seem so in love, so enamored with each other.

I purse my dry lips and tap at my sternum, willing my heartbeat to soften, but it only continues to pound. Harder. Rougher.

Because there he is. Matt. My brother, the only one I ever really felt close to. And in his arms is another man. His roommate, Cooper. They’re in tuxedos, their lips molded together for long seconds before they pull apart. Matt rests his forehead on Cooper’s and whispers something to him, something meant only for him. A secret.

Their eyes meet, and I watch their lips turn up in a smile, happiness and peacefulness radiating off them.

My eyes swivel down to their locked hands, and I see the rings glinting from the dim lights twinkling above them.

They’re married too.

They’re married and once again, no one told me.

My face heats, and I feel my pulse pound in my skull, right behind my ears.

Why would they tell you, my brain mocks. You’re hateful and spiteful and ugly.

No one wants you.

No one cares about you.

I shake those chants away, fisting my hands near my sides, my nails digging into my palms, and watch as everyone laughs and smiles. Happy I’m not there, happy that their night is perfect without me, the ugly stain in the family.

The one no one wants.

The one they want to scrub away and pretend doesn’t exist.

My knuckles crack, and I turn my gaze away.

They hate me. Which is to be expected. I don’t like myself either, loathe the way I am.

I hate who I’ve been, who I can’t seem to help becoming.

I have nothing.

I am nothing.

No one.

No one would miss me if I were gone.

I turn away from the happy family, one that’s only half mine by blood, and move silently, letting the darkness consume the entirety of me, letting my existence disappear into the void.