Chapter 13
CHAPTER THIRTEEN
“ F reya? It’s time.”
It was terrible how comforting Nathan’s voice had become to her. It was like waking up to warm tea and a friendly fire burning in the hearth. She couldn’t verbalize why she had chosen to nestle up to him but she knew she had woken up as rested as she had ever been. Blearily, she blinked at the darkness of the room and realized that the sun wasn’t yet up. That was likely for the best. “Now?”
She couldn’t explain how she knew Nathan was smiling at her in the darkness, but she did. She could feel it.
“Aye lass, now.” Nathan said as he slid out from under the covers. He didn’t have sleep clinging to his voice like she did, and she wondered how long he had been awake or if he had even slept at all.
He had seemed so impossibly sad the night before. When she had pointed out the ‘J’ on his shirt, something had come over him.
“Are ye feeling any better?” She asked, reaching up to gingerly probe at his bottom lip. He captured her hand in his as he hissed in discomfort from the gesture. She was tempted to try to tease him about the fact that something so small could hurt him so much, when he was more than willing to get into fights she could have handled on her own. But his calloused hand felt so nice over her own that she remained silent.
He got up and she was glad he hadn’t wanted to know what had come over her for her to have curled into him like that. She wouldn’t have been able to answer him anyway.
“I think it is starting tae feel more real now. Ye ken?” Nathan asked as he pulled on his boots and adjusted his kilt. She held out his tartan and he started to fold it the way that it needed to be as she pulled on her boots. At least she was warm from the fire, and still full from their dinner. It would make the first part of their journey easier, provided she didn’t get terribly seasick.
“I dae.” She nodded, standing.
“I have this image of getting off that boat on the mainland and running into somebody who kens me. I can picture it so vividly in me mind—them reaching out toward me, calling me by whatever me name must be… and then naethin’.” He tapped two fingers against his temple as he finished speaking. “As much as nae kenning is difficult, I’m afeared that I might nae like the answers… or that they will be somehow underwhelming.”
Freya nodded. The callouses he had weren’t those of a fisherman or a sailor, so clearly, he wasn’t a part of the crew. She had spent most of her life around fishermen and dock workers after all.
“Ready?” He asked, holding out his hand to her, hauling their only bag by the thick leather strap up and over his shoulder.
Freya nodded and took his hand.
The morning air was bitingly cold. It didn’t matter in the slightest that she was all bundled up and layered against the cold—it seeped right through her clothes. It was hard to keep her teeth from chattering because the contrast of their warm bedroom and the dark morning air was so stark.
Freya pulled in closer to the boulder of a man accompanying her, letting his body break the wind’s forces from hitting her directly as they made their way down to the dock.
The captain was standing there, waiting for them as they arrived. “I was starting tae think that I was gonnae get free deposit.”
Nathan’s grip on her hand tightened.
“Did ye bring the rest?” The captain demanded. Nathan produced the agreed upon amount of coin and after the captain finished counting it twice, they were allowed onto the ship.
Sailors moved around the deck with their final preparations, and Nathan led them toward the door that would bring them below deck like he somehow had already known the layout of the ship. But she wasn’t going to question him on it. And if that was what ended up sparking his memory? So be it.
It was hard to keep track of just how long it was they had been sailing. All Freya knew was that the minute she stopped focusing on the cards in her hand, the swaying of the boat started to catch up to her in a very uncomfortable way. She didn’t know if it was just plain fear, or if it was something perhaps a little bit stronger that had her stomach so twisted around, and she didn’t much care either. All she knew was that she was going to focus on the game at hand, and then everything was going to be all right. It helped that not a single one of those men were any good at this game.
Freya had tried to warn them that she was rather good at cards. She had explained that she had grown up around fishermen and that she wasn’t to be taken lightly, but they seemed to have underestimated her because she was a woman. Which, in the end, only worked out better for her and the growing collection of coin she was steadily tucking away in her skirts. If she had left it out on the table, then they would have known just how badly they were losing. For the meantime, it was her little secret.
It was rather gratifying to see the stunned looks on their faces hand after hand as she won.
Nathan had been above deck, checking things on the ship. The pair of them had agreed that he should look around, get a feel for as many things as he could without getting too much in the way of things—just to see if anything sparked further memory. He thought it was strange how he felt as if he could navigate around the ship fairly easily. Perhaps it was a similar ship to the one he had travelled on.
The man across from her slammed his cards down on the table forcibly, startling her out of her daze. Her eyes moved toward him lazily, otherwise keeping her expression neutral despite the way he clearly wished to start a fight. Her brow arched in silent question as he glared at her.
“Ye’re cheating!” He huffed. She had a very strong feeling that were she a man, he would have attempted to hit her. She also knew that sailors were a highly suspicious lot, and they were unlikely to let an accusation like that go. The last thing she needed was for this superstitious crew to go thinking she was cheating or making herself into a witch for them to crucify.
“Ye are a very poor loser, are ye nae?” She drawled, savoring the moment of his anger to see what he was going to do.
He was positively fuming, and the other two men at the table were glancing between the two of them, unsure if they should take the moment of distraction as permission for them to cheat themselves, or if they were more interested in whatever was about to happen.
“I’m nae losing! Ye’re cheating! Tell me why me pockets are empty!” He demanded, slurring his ale-wetted words and turning out the tattered fabric of his pockets for her to see more easily.
“That’s because I am a better card player than ye. It's nae me fault that ye didnae listen tae me warnings about being good.” She leaned in over her cards, keeping them concealed for the right moment. “I think ye’re just upset a woman is better than ye?”
She took that moment to lay out her hand—another winning combination.
The man to her immediate left swore a blue streak and hurled his cards down on the table. But at least the one on her right seemed to be rather impressed she had managed to beat them so soundly. She must have won a good chunk of their total wages at that point. She might have felt bad under other circumstances. She might have even attempted to allow them to win some coin back, but there was no telling what she and Nathan were going to come across on the mainland, or what sort of money they were going to need. They had been using her meager savings until now but those would run out sooner or later. She didn’t want to put either of them in that position.
The ill-tempered man seemed to chew on his tongue, and then decided that, yes, he did want to fight with her. She could see it plain on his face as he realized that he didn’t care whether she was a lady or not—she was going to have to pay for the perceived transgression.
Then, Freya felt warmth against her back. She straightened her spine, pressing back just enough to feel Nathan behind her. Honestly, all she needed to see was the way the man across from her had to crane his neck upward to look him in the eye. He chewed his tongue again, and decided Nathan wasn’t worth the satisfaction he might have gotten from forcing his money back into his own hands.
The wooden floor underneath them creaked slightly under Nathan’s bulk as he shifted from one foot to the other; no doubt he was crossing his arms over his chest in that no-nonsense way he was so prone to doing. She could imagine the stern look on his face, giving the man a warning that Nathan wasn’t going to take such disrespect lightly.
Freya enjoyed it a good deal more than she should have.
The others at the table all excused themselves, the man to her right politely thanking her for the game and remarking that he was going to need to copy a few of the tricks he had watched her use. She would have been only too happy to teach him, but he didn’t linger long enough for her to even offer her assistance.
Alone at the table, Nathan finally joined her.
He started to scoop up all the discarded cards into a pile, setting them to rights so that he could start to shuffle them. Another thing that seemed to be muscle memory for him, she noted.
“Where did ye learn tae play cards like that?” Nathan asked, brow arched in a playful question. “I think none of them were at all ready fer ye tae mop the floor with them, lass. I can feel quite a few bruised egos.”
Freya giggled and shrugged. “I tried tae warn them. It’s nae me fault that they didnae listen tae me!”
Nathan smirked and handed her the cards as she reached for them, wanting to do the shuffling herself.
“I just had a lot of free time, is all.” Freya said in a way that clearly indicated there was far more of a story there than she wanted to tell.
Nathan just waited for her to continue, gazing at her expectantly.
“And what were ye daeing watching me anyway? Werenae ye supposed tae be looking around the ship? Minding yer business?” Freya asked.
“Dinnae change the subject, lass. I asked ye a question,” Nathan insisted firmly.
Freya rather liked that tone of voice. She heaved a long-suffering sigh. “Ye willnae believe me even if I told ye.”
“Try me.”
She smirked. “The nuns taught me.”
Nathan’s eyes widened. He leaned in closer as if this were some highly scandalous secret. “The nuns taught ye tae cheat at cards? Isnae that against God or something?”
Freya reached for him, slapping at his arm playfully as she laughed. “They didnae cheat, ye lout! They used tae play in secret. It was a highly competitive game. I heard about them meeting in secret, because the Abbess would never have allowed such anti-Christian behavior. And, well, I’ll admit I went because I wanted tae see if they would really break the rules so that the next time that I was in trouble, I could use it against them.”
Nathan snorted a laugh. “Of course, ye did.”
Freya smirked. “And, well, I got what I wanted. But I wasnae expecting tae see them playing so happily or sharing just so much. Habits all a mess,” Freya laughed as she motioned to her head, mimicking the headwear the nuns adopted as a symbol of their faith. “One of them liked tae hike her skirt up over her knee when she played, said that it made sitting easier… but I tell ye, seeing the stockings on a nun isnae something I’ll ever forget.”
Nathan cringed and shook his head. “And now ye have shared that vision with me! How kind of ye.”
“Ye’re the one who asked in the first place!” Freya giggled as she continued. “But it wasnae long afore they found me spying on them. I had tae beg and plead with them tae let me play instead of punishing me fer snooping and tae this day I am still stunned and shocked they allowed such a thing.”
Freya shrugged, shuffling the cards more just so that she would have something to do with her hands.
“I picked up a lot of tricks that way. Then, when I finally left and moved intae me village it came in handy. All the sailors would spend their nights playing cards and I actually used the money I won from playing the cards tae finish me hut.” Freya chuckled and covered the lower half of her face with her hand as if she had something she was supposed to be embarrassed about, but simply was not.
“Well, that’s a good skill tae have I suppose. If all else fails, then we can settle somewhere and make a living off yer skill,” Nathan teased.
It was such a simple, off-handed comment for him to make, but the underlying implications of what he was saying settled deep inside of her. Would that even really be an option? If they were unable to figure out who he was, or where he came from, would he truly wish to start a life with her? It would be a lie to say she hadn’t ever thought about it, because of course she had; she often had.
“Come, let’s head back tae the cabin and let these poor sods scoop up what’s left of their pride,” Nathan said, offering her his hand to her. She, of course, took it. However, the moment she started walking, all the coin she had won started to jingle loudly in her pockets and she almost doubled over with laughter at the shocked look on Nathan’s face.
They hurried into the room so that she could dump all the coin out on their bed.
“Aye lass, this is a fair income,” Nathan said, staring at the pile of coin on the bedding with a glimmer of pride in his voice.
“Well, I have tae make coin somehow. I could never be a woman of the night,” Freya teased.
But it seemed to fall short of the intended mark as Nathan’s brow furrows. “What dae ye mean?”
Freya’s face flamed instantly, and she wished she had never said a thing to him. “Well… I…”
Nathan didn’t look away, even as she knew she had to be blushing down to her toes. How was she supposed to explain such a thing to him?
“I dinnae ken anything about the… ah… the ways between a man and a woman. That’s all.” Freya said softly, unable to look at Nathan. In fact, she had to pivot her whole torso away from him so that she didn’t die of humiliation on the spot. What had she been thinking? Why would she have brought up such a thing in front of him of all people?
She wrapped her arms around herself, and shuddered as Nathan stepped up against her back, his large hand reaching for her hip, and spinning her softly. She locked eyes with a random point on his chest and refused to budge.
“I could show ye,” Nathan said in a low voice she hadn’t heard him use before.
The tone alone sent a shudder down her spine as his grip on her hip tightened fractionally.
“I… I couldnae… it would ruin me reputation. And besides… I would die of embarrassment.” She admitted in a rushed voice, the words almost blurring together. As if she wasn’t about to melt into the floor as it was.
Nathan curled a finger under her chin, lifting softly, and she had no choice but to comply with his wishes. “Dae ye nae want tae?”
What was she supposed to say to that? Was she supposed to lie? She supposed she could. But she did want to. She wanted that and so much more. But looking up into his green eyes, she couldn’t form a single word.
“How about a kiss?” Nathan offered, whispering the words as his face was already starting to lower toward her own. Freya forgot how to breathe as she was pulled into his arms, her eyes drifting shut. He gave her a moment to decide; she could feel his warm breath against her lips as he hesitated only a moment, as if she were going to pull away or somehow stupidly change her mind… but she could never. She lifted herself up onto her toes, brushing her lips against his ever so softly—and he didn’t need to be told twice.
Nathan’s hand shifted from her chin, knuckles sliding along her jawline and curling up around the back of her head, pulling her closer as the hand on her hip slid upward, drawing her to his chest and eliminating the space between them. His lips were hungry and insistent as he seemed to pour everything he felt into the kiss, into her.
Breathless and flustered didn’t even begin to cover the feeling that was overwhelming her. She slotted her lips against his, matching his movements as she quickly learned this was something she could very easily get used to.
An insistent knock came on the door from one of the crew. “Supper!”
When they broke apart, she almost couldn’t stand on her own two feet. Something had awoken inside of her, and it wasn’t hunger for food.