Tamed By You (Always & Forever #2)

50. Chapter Fifty

Chapter Fifty

Harry

I stand in front of her apartment door. My heart thumping so loudly I wonder if they can hear it on the other side. I look at the door frame, the split wood, the damage in the middle where I kicked it near off its hinges to get to her, thanking my lucky stars I listened to my gut and got in there.

I tap the door and a few seconds later Jack appears, looking tired, worry etched all over his face. The same expression I think we have all been sporting the past twenty-four hours.

“You, okay?” he asks as I step inside taking the place in. A pumpkin spice scent wafts through the air from the candle that burns on the kitchen island. A small white lamp on the side table gives the room a low glow, the drapes drawn as New York night begins to fall. It feels cozy, warm, and safe in here now.

“Yeah, yeah, but I’ll be better when I speak to her,” I say softly.

“She’s sleeping right now. She’s been sleeping a lot today. My eyes travel over to the couch where I see her tucked under a pink comforter, her blonde hair splayed out around her.

Ria enters from Ali’s room and gives me a comforting smile. “Hey, Haz,” she says, throwing her arms around me and hugging me tightly.

“Hey, Ri, how’s she doing?” I ask as we break the hug.

“She’s slept a lot. She just needs rest and to be surrounded by us all. Gabby is out teaching. We need to get back for the girls. Are you okay to stay with her till Gabby is back?”

“Of course.” I’d stay all night to just make sure she was okay.

“Okay, we will head off. Brad is at the club. If you need anything you call, okay?” Jack says with a pointed look.

“Yes, yes, I will, you go. I’ve got her.”

Once they leave, I slip off my tennis shoes and walk over to the couch. I’m wearing black sweatpants and gray sweatshirt in anticipation of staying over if she allows it. I need to show her I am serious; I am not walking away from her.

Reaching the couch, not wanting to disturb her, I opt for the floor beside her. I watch as her tiny frame inhales and exhales, her face looking pale still. She looks peaceful, and still the most beautiful woman I’ve ever laid eyes on.

Like a love-struck teenager fangirling at a concert, I watch her sleep, terrified to take my eyes off her. Wanting to be beside her in case she has another nightmare or needs comforting.

I’m not sure how much time has passed. I’ve watched her toss and turn on the couch. I’ve listened to three ambulances drive past her apartment building, noticed how the apartment grew a little darker when a streetlight came on. Something warm caresses my cheek and my eyes flutter open. Icy blue eyes meet mine, a shadow casting over half of her sculpted face, and I smile.

“Hey,” I whisper.

She gives me a small smile. “Hey.”

I sit up, rubbing my eyes with the palms of my hands. “Shit, sorry, I must have fallen asleep.” I stretch my back, pain radiating down my spine from being hunched over and sitting on the floor.

“Come here,” she says quietly, pulling back her comforter and inviting me in beside her. I don’t hesitate for a second, itching to be close to her. I sit, still leaving a small gap between our bodies, not wanting to push her too far.

I look into her eyes, searching her face for any clues that might tell me how she is, and before I can answer she does it for me.

“I’m okay, I’m feeling better.”

I take a deep breath, suddenly feeling anxious and nervous around her, my palms becoming clammy and itchy, unsure of what to say or how to act. This is new to me, so different from how we usually are. I want to take hold of her, wrap her in my arms, kiss her, show her that nothing has changed, that I still feel the same way I always have about her. But I don’t think that is what she needs right now, no matter how badly I want to.

“Brad came to see me earlier,” she says. Another silence falls between us, only the New York traffic echoing through her open window filling the void.

“He told me about Tori and what you both went through.” My chest starts to feel tight at the mention of my sister. I don’t like to think about that time, the memories too painful, the images of her laid there, motionless, etched in my brain forever.

She surprises me by linking her fingers with mine and giving my hand a squeeze.

“What happened. It wasn’t your fault, none of it.” Her voice is a little shaky and I’m too scared to speak, knowing I will barely be able to get out the words because, even though I know deep down I am not to blame for Scotty’s death, for how Tori coped with her grief, I can’t help it, and now I carry yet another weight around. Should I have known something was up with Ali? Should I have noticed that maybe the reason she tried to keep me at arm’s length, push me away, was because underneath this harsh exterior she presents to the world, is someone who is just as broken as the rest of us?

All I can do is nod as I bite the inside of my cheek.

“… and… I’m sorry. I’m sorry I pushed you away and didn’t tell you I just—” Her words do something to me. I feel my body relax under the weight of her words. A glimmer of hope surfaces and she has just confirmed everything I thought that she pushed me away to protect herself.

“It’s okay, I get it,” I say, squeezing her hand back. “This changes nothing, Ali. I still feel the same way about us, about you.”

She looks down at her lap and lets out a long breath before she looks back up at me. Her tear-filled eyes lock with mine and I just want to take all her pain away.

“Before you stand by that statement, I think you need to know everything. I’m terrified to tell you, but I am trying not to let the fear win.”

“Okay, I’m here. I’m listening,” I tell her, never letting go of her hand as she closes her eyes, preparing herself to bear her secrets to me. My stomach is in thick knots in anticipation of what she is going to tell me.

She straightens her body, like a soldier preparing for battle.

“I want to tell you about Iris…”