Tangled In Lies (Tangled & Torn #1)

16. Evangeline

Chapter 16

Evangeline

S unlight shines through my closed eyelids, and I don’t need a mirror to know my eyes are swollen.

Thank you, utter breakdown last night.

Maybe it made Phoenix realize what a basket case he’s got on his hands, and he’ll let me out of this arrangement.

Yeah, right.

I roll onto my back and stare at the ceiling, unable to keep yesterday’s memories at bay.

The gala. The kiss. Playing the piano. The reminder of what a mess my life has turned into. My outburst. Phoenix.

I don’t hate you.

His words still float around in my head. He really said that, didn’t he? And then he carried me into my room like some dark knight in shining armor, where he waited until I managed to change out of my dress and climb into bed. I’m totally ignoring the memories of how gentle he was with me and that I wanted to stay cocooned in his warm arms.

Although I got a full night’s sleep, I feel like I barely slept. My panic attacks always suck the energy right out of me, and this seems to be no different. More than once, I had to spend several days in bed afterward because my body and mind were so sluggish and fatigued, making me utterly useless.

I didn’t miss feeling like this, and I’m not sure how I’m supposed to go to another event in mere hours.

With my fiancé.

I look around the room, almost expecting to find him somewhere, which is ridiculous.

That man has zero reasons to care about me. Absolutely zero.

Not hating someone is a far cry from liking or caring about someone.

Regardless of how he feels about me, I need to find him and apologize for last night. My stomach churns uncomfortably at the memory of destroying the music room and facing Phoenix again, but it wasn’t okay what I did. Hopefully, it won’t ever happen again because this side of myself scares me.

It’s okay.

I fill my lungs with air and exhale slowly.

Yes, it’s okay. I can’t change what happened. All I can do is apologize and move forward.

You won’t get to your future if you’re stuck in the past.

I’ve got this. The good thing is when you’re at the bottom, there’s only one way to go. And up, up, up we go.

My gaze snatches on the couch and the rumpled blankets. Didn’t I fold them up yesterday before the gala?

I stretch, checking that heavy feeling in my bones like they’re filled with lead. It takes me a good minute to get my phone from the nightstand, and I groan at the multitude of messages and notifications. At least my hand feels mostly okay, just a small pinch under the bandage when I use it.

I click on my group chat with Ruby and Mason first, but there’s a knock on the door before I can read them.

Not having the energy to move a muscle right now, I shout, “Yes?”

“Are you decent?”

Holden.

I glance down to double-check and yell, “Yes,” again.

The door opens, and Holden walks in. His gaze roams over me. “Hey. How are you feeling?”

What a loaded question. “Okay, I guess.”

He walks in and leans against the wall. “Okay?”

I shrug. “A mixture of what I imagine it feels like when you get drunk right after you get hit by a truck.”

The corners of his mouth twitch. “Sounds like you’ve given this some serious thought.”

I can’t help but smirk. “Maybe?”

Why is this guy so likable? I can’t forget he’s Phoenix’s friend and right-hand man who might chuck me out of a speeding car if given the order.

He nods toward the phone in my hand. “Has Phoenix gotten a hold of you yet?”

I frown. “Phoenix?”

Holden nods. “Yeah. He said he was going to call you, but he might not have had a chance to do so yet. He left for the city this morning to take care of some business and will likely stay there for a few days.”

“Oh.” I drop my gaze to my hands, certain I imagine the tightness in my chest at the news.

I am not sad Phoenix isn’t here .

Nope.

Not happening.

Remembering Holden is still here, I glance back up. Of course, he’s already studying me. I wouldn’t be in the least bit surprised if this man told me he could read my thoughts. “Well, thanks for letting me know.”

“You bet.”

I might imagine it, but he looks too smug for my taste.

“The doc said you need lots of rest, so I thought we could camp out in the movie room and watch something.”

I blink at him, completely dumbfounded.

After several beats of silence, I finally manage to say, “You want to watch a movie with me?”

He shrugs. “Sure. Why not?”

He says it like it’s the most normal thing in the world, like we do this all the time.

My stomach chooses that moment to growl.

Holden chuckles. “Huxley will be so happy to hear you’re hungry. He’s been driving me nuts all morning asking for you.”

“He has?”

“That old man loves to take care of people, so I’ll let him know you’re up. And you can come to the movie room when you’re ready.”

The desire to pinch my arm to check if I’m dreaming is strong, but I decide against it. It takes too much energy.

Wasn’t there something I needed all of my energy for?

I gasp. “The gala tonight.”

Holden shakes his head. “Phoenix canceled your attendance. The media has been going wild, and the phone hasn’t stopped ringing. It’ll be good to give everyone a break over the next week to calm down before you guys go out again.”

Phoenix canceled today. Was it really because of the media? The little voice in the back of my head thinks differently.

He did this for you .

No, no, no.

Retreat right now. This path is full of land mines, and we will never reach the other side in one piece. It’s impossible .

Holden rubs his hands together. “Okay, Princess. I’ll tell Huxley to make you breakfast. Ten minutes? Twenty? How long do you need?”

Knowing that overthinking in my state would only lead to a headache, I decide to just roll with this new development. “Twenty?”

That should give me enough time to use the bathroom, brush my teeth, get changed, and message Ruby and Mason before they call in the cavalry.

“Twenty it is.” He salutes me, and then he’s gone.

I take care of business and make sure I look decent enough to be around anyone before I finally get to my friends’ messages.

Ruby

I admit, I expected to see the first one at some point. The second one, I didn’t see coming.

Mason

Is there something you aren’t telling us? We need to see you.

Underneath are two screenshots from some gossip pages. The first is a photo of Phoenix and me posing for the photographer. The second one is a candid of us kissing.

I can’t stop staring.

Experiencing it was one thing, but seeing it captured for eternity like this is something else.

No one is going to think our engagement is fake. Or not so much fake, but rather, arranged. If I didn’t know better, I wouldn’t believe it myself.

Three little dots dance across the bottom of the page.

Ruby

Don’t you dare leave us on read. Meet us at the café in two hours?

My fingers move over the keyboard at a sluggish pace.

Me

Hey. Sorry, guys, but I’m afraid I might be out for the next few days.

Mason

What happened? Do we need to call in a SWAT team?

Ruby

Are you okay?

Me

I’m okay, just down with something. I’ll explain everything when I’m better. Promise.

Ruby

Fine. It’s probably for the best anyway. The press has been absolutely feral, and you don’t need to see half of the shit they’re saying.

Mason

What Ruby meant to say is get some rest and feel better soon. And don’t worry about the press or anything else. Just don’t go online.

Ruby

Yes, that. Sorry.

Ruby

Do you need anything?

I swallow past the tightness in my throat.

Me

I’m all good, thank you.

Mason

Let us know if there is anything we can do for you or if you’re up for some company.

Me

I’ll do that, thanks. Love you, guys.

Ruby

Love you more.

Mason

Miss and love you.

I’m about to put my phone down when it vibrates with another incoming message.

Phoenix.

He made me add his and Holden’s numbers to my phone last week, but this is the first time he’s contacted me.

Phoenix

Hold said you’re awake. How are you feeling?

Maybe a pinch isn’t so bad after all. Phoenix is texting me, asking me how I’m feeling. Did anything life-altering happen that I forgot about? Or some kind of a body swap?

My fingers hover over the screen longer than ever before.

Me

I’m okay.

Me

We could have gone to the gala tonight. I said I’d go.

Phoenix

Not until you feel better.

Something warm and forbidden blooms in my chest.

Phoenix

We can’t have the press catch on to anything.

And the feeling disappears into thin air again.

I laugh to myself.

I wasn’t really thinking he actually cared about my well-being, was I? Not even for a moment?

Because that would be utterly foolish of me.

I have no clue how to respond, so I type out what I wanted to tell him instead.

Me

I’m sorry about last night. Of course, I’ll pay for whatever damage I caused and clean it up.

He replies almost immediately.

Phoenix

Don’t worry about it. It’s already been taken care of.

Me

Thank you.

I feel like I should say more, but I don’t know what, so I sigh and tuck my phone in my pocket.

Unable to help myself, I take a quick glimpse into the piano room, and it’s back to its meticulous order, just like Phoenix said. After another long glance at the piano, I drag myself downstairs to the media room just as Huxley wheels a cart into it.

He looks up at me. “Oh, good morning, Miss Caldwell. I’m so happy to see you awake.”

“Thank you, Huxley. How are you?”

He smiles at me, his eyes crinkling at the corners. “I’m doing very well, miss. Thank you for asking. I hear you’re hungry?”

I nod at him, one of my hands settling on my stomach. “Famished.”

Between my upset stomach and all the stress and nerves, I feel like I’ve only eaten two meals all week.

Huxley inclines his head, still smiling as if I just told him he won the lottery. “Well, enjoy your food. Mr. Montgomery asked us to prepare something special for you this morning to help you feel better.”

Too stunned to speak, I simply nod and watch him push the cart to the front of the room where he parks it next to the oversized leather recliner.

A special meal Phoenix arranged for me? He didn’t mention anything.

“Don’t hesitate to call me over the house line if you need anything, miss. Bon appétit.”

“Thank you, Huxley. I appreciate it.”

He gives a little bow. “Anytime.” He straightens up again and starts when Holden walks into the room. “Oh, Mr. Donahue. Did you change your mind and want something to eat?”

Holden claps him on the arm, much gentler than he does with Phoenix, and shakes his head. “Nah, I’m good for now, but thanks. Her Majesty and I are going to have a movie marathon, and I might give that popcorn machine in the corner a whirl.”

He gestures past the other rows of seats toward the back of the room, which houses several snack machines straight out of a movie theater as well as a fridge with cold drinks and a coffee machine, if I’m not mistaken.

Huxley nods at him. “Very well, sir. You know where to find me.”

We walk to the front and sink into the plush seats.

Holden grabs the remote and points it at the oversized screen. “What do you want to watch?”

I shrug. “I don’t know. I haven’t really watched anything in forever. ”

His stare burns into the side of my head. “What were you doing all week if you weren’t watching TV?”

I turn his way. “Studying and reading?”

He makes a noncommittal sound. “Oh my God, you’re almost as boring as Phoenix. He reads business reports and looks at houses in his free time.”

“Houses?”

“Yeah. He’s trying to find something for the foundation. It would be easier to build something from scratch to get exactly what we want, but that would also take a lot longer.”

I’m still mulling over that info when Holden directs his attention toward the food cart with undisguised curiosity in his eyes.

“What did he bring you?”

Nerves flutter in my midsection. I sit up taller and lift the lids to store them on the lower part of the cart.

My heart plummets straight into my stomach at the sight in front of me—animal face pancakes.

Connie and I used to make them together every weekend growing up, trying out a different animal every week. I haven’t had them in years. Not since before Connie died.

I close my eyes, willing the heat in them to subside. I will not cry over some dang pancakes.

But it’s no use. A single tear escapes my eye, and I swipe it off my cheek.

Holden clears his throat. “You okay, Princess?”

“Mmm-hmmm.” I hum, not trusting myself enough to speak.

I grab one of the plates and stare down at the lion—a round pancake with a strawberry mane and nose, blueberry eyes, and a chocolate chip mouth .

It’s utterly perfect.

This man. I pull out my phone.

Me

Thank you for the pancakes. That was oddly sweet of you.

Phoenix

Maybe they’re poisoned.

Given my mental state, I don’t react like other sane people would by putting the plate down due to the very high possibility of Phoenix telling the truth. Instead, I laugh, not hesitating for even a second before I get a bite on my fork and put it into my mouth, pushing it past the lump in my throat.

They’re sweet and fluffy and utterly delicious.

Eating this transports me back to a time when life was still good.

Where I had dreams and hopes and where my life was my own.

“What do you want to be when you grow up, Angie?” Connie steals one of the chocolate chips from my plate and pops it into her mouth.

“A world-famous piano player who travels around the globe.” Pointing my fork at her, I wink. “What do you want to be when you grow up, Connie?”

“I want to be the CFO in Dad’s company. You know, because I love numbers.”

We giggle, like every time we play this game. I think it’s silly that my ten-year-old sister wants to sit in a stuffy office all day long like our dad, but she says that’s what she wants to do. Better her than me. I’d suffocate in days.

“You’ll be magnificent on stage, Angie. Simply magnificent. And I’ll sit in the front row at every concert, telling everyone you’re my sister.”

My dream died alongside her, and my parents couldn’t have been happier about that.

And I thought I was done for good, that I was too broken to play ever again.

But despite everything that happened last night, I can’t regret placing my fingers on those keys and letting go.

One problem (possibly) solved, two more to go.

Phoenix and Freddy.

One first, then the other.