17. Evangeline
Chapter 17
Evangeline
T he next day goes by similarly. A text message from Phoenix asking me how I’m doing, another special animal face pancake—an owl this time—and more relaxing in front of the TV.
Holden and I thought it would be a fun idea to try and binge-watch all seasons of Lucifer this week, so we’ll see if we succeed. It’s definitely fun to just relax and not stress about school or anything else for a little while.
Although I’m constantly distracted by Phoenix’s text messages. After our morning exchange, I asked him how house hunting is going, so most of the messages are now business related. There are a lot of real estate listings, but it’s a side of him I haven’t been privy to, and I strangely enjoy these back-and-forths.
Phoenix
What do you think about this building? It’s bigger than the last one, and I think we could push the emergency shelter to 30 beds instead of just 20 .
One thing became clear really soon. Phoenix thinks big. He’s been telling me about all of these ideas he has for the teens, not just until they age out of the system at eighteen, but also beyond that. He doesn’t just want to provide them with a safe place to stay and a warm meal in their stomach, he wants to make a lasting difference in their lives. He wants to teach them things that’ll allow them to alter their futures in ways they might never be able to otherwise. It’s admirable, and witnessing this side of him makes me want to talk to him a whole lot more. To learn more about him and this project, about his visions. I want to learn everything there is about him.
Which is why I don’t hold back, asking questions and offering solutions and ideas. Weirdly enough, I’m not mad about it. It makes me feel useful to help with something that matters and to share my experience from the women’s shelter and what I’ve learned from Doreen over the years.
Me
I like this a lot better, but while it would provide more beds, it has less room for the rest. I don’t think you could fit more than the office, a common room, and one, maybe two more “conference” rooms in there. Would you be okay cutting some of the programs you wanted to offer?
On Tuesday, I called Doreen at the shelter to tell her I couldn’t stop by this week, and she informed me not to worry, that “Mr. Montgomery” had already taken care of it and hired some people to help. Apparently, Phoenix had also told her he’d be in touch soon to discuss the shelter and how he could help more. I could practically hear the hearts in her eyes over the phone.
Not that I blame her. To say I was immune to hearing what Phoenix did would be a lie.
I also get more messages from my parents, this time my mom, who gives me the same “warning message,” just a tad less obnoxious than my dad.
Ruby and Mason also check in almost every day, entertaining me with their antics, sending pictures and videos of what I’m missing, asking if I’m okay and what I’m doing. They’ve calmed down a bit after I sent them pictures of my animal pancakes and my cozy setup in the movie room.
The two of them, along with Tyler, also keep me up to date on the classes I’m missing, emailing me their notes and assignments. They’re the best.
By midweek, Holden grumbles that I spend more time on the phone than I spend watching, and that I haven’t even noticed what’s going on with Lucifer and Chloe. I just wave him off and get him some popcorn.
By Thursday, after yet another excited text message from Phoenix with a possible building prospect, the inexplicable desire to want to have these conversations with him face-to-face ignites inside me. I want to see the excitement on his face and hear the passion in his voice.
I’m so screwed.
Holden and I have also started going on walks in the last few days, once my fatigue finally started to fade, and he showed me around the parts of the property I hadn’t seen yet and introduced me to every staff member we crossed paths with, from Mike at the gate to Jean in the kitchen. We don’t always talk a lot, and I appreciate him letting me be. There’s no need to fulfill any expectations like I so often have to.
For the first time in forever, I feel somewhat relaxed.
Phoenix stays away longer than planned, and by the time the weekend rolls in, I’m almost back to normal.
I’m also ready to see Phoenix again.
Am I the only one who feels like things have changed between us?
What if we’re back to weird or hostile again?
Holden said Phoenix finally returned last night, but I haven’t caught a glimpse of him yet.
Maybe he came in late, and that’s why he didn’t stop by my room.
But he’ll have to show his face soon since we have our next event tonight, and tonight is a big one for World Vision, an organization that focuses on helping kids in the U.S. and all around the world. I know Phoenix is looking forward to soaking up all the information and to making as many connections as possible, as am I.
Since I gave myself a clean bill of health and have the whole day to pass, I’m finally meeting up with Ruby and Mason, who’ve been more patient with me this week than they probably wanted to be.
When Holden and I arrive at the coffee shop, Ruby and Mason immediately wave me to the corner booth they snatched. They both send a wary glance at my shadow as he settles into a chair close by that’ll allow him to keep an eye on both the door and me.
My friends shower me with hugs and kisses before Mason ushers me into his side of the booth.
He gives me a once-over. “You look healthy. I approve. ”
I smile at him. “Thank you. I desperately needed this week to feel better.”
Mason squeezes my side. “I’m glad you’re okay. We weren’t sure if you were lying and wanted to see it for ourselves.”
Ruby nods. “Yup. Looking good. Now spill the beans, babe. We’ve been on the edge of our seats all week long. And if I haven’t said it yet, I’m glad you weren’t on campus this week. People even came up to me to ask about you and Phoenix. Does no one remember what boundaries and privacy are?”
Mason snorts. “It seems to be trendy to be rude and entitled these days. Some people act like it’s a new hobby.”
“So true.” Ruby nods. “You told us you were chilling with your shadow most of this week, but we still have no clue what happened last weekend with Phoenix.”
“Well . . . so.” I rub my hand over my neck and collarbone. “Remember, I’m okay now, so no freaking out. After we got home from the gala, I found the piano and started playing. And then I kinda lost it and had a bit of a meltdown and threw some stuff.”
I say it all quickly, not wanting to draw this out any longer than necessary. I’m met with silence for a beat. Two, three, four.
Ruby’s eyes widen, and she takes my hands over the table. “Oh my God, babe.”
Then they talk at the same time.
“You didn’t think to tell us?”
“Are you okay?”
“Fucking hell.”
“You played piano? ”
“How was it?”
“I’m so sorry.”
The words all blend, but I still hear them so clearly, it should be impossible.
I grab both of their hands and make a shushing sound. “I’m sorry I kept it from you, but I had to shake it off first and didn’t want to have that conversation over the phone either.”
Mason tugs me against his body while Ruby still holds my hand across the table.
His lips touch my hair gently. “I hate we couldn’t be there for you, but I’m so glad you’re okay.”
Reveling in the warmth that is my friends, I lean closer to Mason.
It’s so different from when I was cuddled against Phoenix’s hard chest last week when my heart skipped beats to keep up with his.
My pulse picks up at the memory alone, and the desire to see him flares brightly in my chest.
Shit. It’s really stupid to miss him, isn’t it?
My heart needs to stay out of this, or things will get ugly fast.
Not to mention, he might be back to his former asshole self again when I see him next.
“Hey, babe.”
At the familiar voice, I untangle myself from Mason’s embrace, and Ruby lets go of my hand after squeezing it once more.
It’s Tyler.
Wait. Did he just call me babe?
I peer up at him, but he isn’t looking at me. His gaze is fixed on Ruby as he slides onto the bench beside her and presses his lips to hers.
She giggles under her breath and pushes against his chest. “Tyyyyyyyy, stop it.”
I stare at the two of them with wide eyes.
Tyler leans back and shifts his attention to me. “Hey, Evie. I’m so glad you’re better.”
Did I somehow land in an alternate universe?
I blink and nod. “Uh, yes, thank you.”
He laughs at my response and gets up after kissing Ruby again. His smile is infectious. “You want your regular, Evie?”
I squeak out a “Yes, please,” and he leaves with a small salute.
Ruby throws her hands over her eyes first, then up in the air. “Damn him.”
Her glance flickers to Mason, but he holds up his hands and shakes his head.
“Nope, this is all you.”
Ruby groans and stares at me with a pleading look in her eyes. “Ty wasn’t supposed to give anything away until I gave him the green light.”
“Are you guys together? Is this what you wanted to talk about?” My brain is still spinning at this unexpected turn.
Ruby grimaces. “Yes?”
Mason scoffs and leans his head down. “Evie, they’ve been making out like they’re the last two people on earth. You’re lucky you haven’t been around to witness it. My eyeballs are ready to explode.”
Ruby smacks him on the arm again but chuckles. “Stoooop it. ”
“It’s true. Half the guys were adjusting themselves at the party last night because of the show you two put on.”
Ruby hides her face behind her hands. “Oh my God.”
I tilt my head to the side. “You like him.”
She immediately nods. “I think I do.”
“She definitely does,” Mason pipes up again.
So much for him staying out of this.
Ruby gives me her puppy eyes. “Is this okay with you? Crap, I totally should have talked to you first.”
I place my hand on my chest. “With me?”
She waves her hand around in front of me. “Yeah, you know, you and him and your history together.”
“Pfft, oh yeah, don’t even worry about me.” I shake my head and laugh. “You know Ty and I agreed what happened was a huge mistake. If I could go back in time, I’d erase that entire night with him.”
Ruby sighs, letting her shoulders slump in relief. She was seriously worried about my reaction.
Tyler steps up with my drink and winks at me. “I put some extra whipped cream on top.”
I smile at him. “Thank you, you’re the best.”
He chuckles. “Whatever I can do to help my favorite ladies.”
Mason huffs beside me, but Tyler ignores him, his gaze flicking to my hand around the cup. To my bare fingers.
Crap. I forgot to put on my engagement ring.
“How are you holding up?”
For a moment, I’m so stunned, I don’t know what to say. But then I remember this is Tyler, the same one who saw me freak out in the bathroom at my birthday party after I saw Phoenix for the first time again. I didn’t tell him what exactly went down, but he probably put two and two together and knows this isn’t an engagement based on love.
So I shrug and say, “Hanging in there.”
Tyler opens his mouth to say something, but the doorbell chimes, and a group of older ladies walk in the door.
He sighs. “Duty calls.”
Ruby watches him with obvious longing in her eyes. Before I get to dig deeper into this surprising turn of events, Mason bumps his elbow into my side.
“You okay?”
“I swear I’m okay with it. There has never been anything between Ty and me.” I grab my straw and take a big gulp, sighing happily when the liquid slithers down my throat.
“Evie,” Mason’s voice is quiet. Gentle. “I’m talking about what happened last week. Not just the piano and meltdown situation, but also everything going on with Phoenix.” He shoots a glance in Holden’s direction and leans in closer. “He isn’t forcing you to do things, is he?”
My eyes widen to unnatural saucers as I simultaneously choke on my drink. My panicked gaze skips to Holden, who’s about to get up, probably to check on me, but I wave him off, and he sits back down.
Mason rubs my back until the worst of the coughs have finally subsided. “Sorry about that.”
We’ve been inseparable since the three of us met in middle school, and they’ve been my rock every moment of these last few fucked-up years, at least for the parts I was able to share with them. I’ve leaned on them, and they pulled me out of my darkness more times than I could count, especially when no one and nothing else could get through to me during my panic attacks .
Just like Phoenix did last week.
Phoenix cared for me, and if I didn’t know better, I’d say he was worried. My mind must have played tricks on me, though, because could Phoenix really ever be concerned about me?
“Evie?” Ruby’s voice cuts through my thoughts.
Mason’s question pops back to the forefront.
I shake my head so violently, little pins of pain prickle at my temples. “No, never.”
Mason levels me with a serious look. “If he lays a finger on you against your will, we’ll find a way to off him, and all go into witness protection together.”
I huff a quiet laugh and throw my hands around Mason. “Thank you for caring. It means more than I could ever tell you.”
He squeezes tight. “Always, Evie. Always.”
“Hey, don’t forget about me.” Ruby leans across the table.
We make room for her in our group hug.
My eyes burn. “Love you guys.”
“Love you too.” Ruby touches her forehead against my temple.
“Me three.” Mason gives both of us another squeeze.
Eventually, we disentangle and sip our drinks as if we need a moment to collect ourselves. I know I do.
Ruby stirs the liquid in her cup. “Soooo, let’s talk about that totally willing and unforced kiss.”
Ah, yes, that kiss .
Heat warms my cheeks before I can rein in my reaction. And it’s impossible to think about that kiss without remembering how amazing it felt .
It was exactly how I always thought kissing Phoenix Montgomery would feel.
Utterly addictive and spellbinding.
I lower my head and sigh. “You know it wasn’t a real kiss.”
Mason drapes his arm over the bench behind me. “Are you sure about that? Because I’ve watched the video of it several times, and it looked pretty real to me.” He snorts. “I bet it was perfect. Because that man doesn’t already have everything a guy could ever dream of, he must also have a wicked tongue.”
Ruby bursts out laughing. “Careful, Romeo, your green witch is showing.”
Mason points at her. “It’s true, and you know it.”
Ruby’s still wearing a stupid grin. “I’m pretty sure having committed a felony and going to prison put a dent in his perfect Prince Charming facade.”
Mason gapes at her with raised brows. “You can’t be serious right now. The whole bad-boy image only makes it worse.”
I shake my head at their antics until the bell at the entrance rings, drawing my attention to the front of the café.
My mouth goes dry when I see who just walked in.
Phoenix.
Phoenix in workout clothes.
His intense gaze immediately zeroes in on me.
What’s that saying? Distance makes the heart grow fonder?
I’m sure that’s not it, but not seeing him for a week after what transpired between us did something.
My heart does a little flip.
No, no. Bad heart.
He takes in our group, and I see his jaw flexing even from across the room.
Mason retracts his arm from behind me as if our contact burnt him. “Fuck.”
“What is it?” I say absentmindedly, unable to tear my gaze away from Phoenix.
But Mason doesn’t explain.
Phoenix ignores the female barista talking to him and walks across the room.
His presence is all-consuming, and I know I’m not the only one who feels it.
Ruby squeaks from across the table. “He has a nipple piercing? Someone hand me a fan.”
My gaze lowers at her comment, and yup, the silver stud is easy to see under the thin shirt material.
Holden meets Phoenix halfway, breaking our connection. They talk for a moment before Holden heads toward the door.
I want to yell, “Hey, please don’t leave me alone with the big bad wolf, he might eat me after all,” after his retreating form, but my brain-to-vocal-cords connection doesn’t seem to work correctly.
When Phoenix is only a few steps away, Mason scrambles out of the seat, rounds the table, and plops down next to Ruby.
Phoenix gives him a nod and says, “Douglas.”
I’ll never understand why guys call each other by their last names.
Ruby lifts her chin and says, “Hey, Phoenix. Long time no see.” Her eyes go wide the second the words leave her lips. “ Well, I mean, I know I couldn’t see you because you were gone. Prison and all. Oh shit . . . sorry.” She buries her face in Mason’s side.
Phoenix chuckles. “Good to see you, Ruby. Seems like you still like to put your foot in your mouth.”
She tilts her head until we can see one of her eyes. Somehow, she manages to glare at him like that.
One corner of Phoenix’s mouth twitches, and then he turns to me, finally giving me his attention.
Finally?
No, we don’t want his attention. Maybe.
His gaze on me is like a soft caress on my skin.
It makes no sense, but I can’t deny that’s what it feels like.
He doesn’t sit but leans closer, with one hand on the table and the other on the back of the booth. “Hey, fiancée.”
Mason’s words pop back into my head.
I bet the kiss was perfect.
My gaze drops to Phoenix’s lips.
Because, yes, it was a perfect kiss. It was like that first breath you take after a summer rain, when the sun warms your face, and you close your eyes, or when you slip into your bed after you wash your sheets: utter bliss and pure perfection.
For years, I was lying awake in bed, wondering what it would be like to kiss him.
Now I know.
And part of me wishes I could forget about it again.
Because how am I ever going to handle that information?
Especially knowing my sister tasted those lips too, that she had all of him .
It’s a tidbit my brain forgets about on the regular.
That realization is like a cold shower to my mind, allowing me to break this weird connection between us. I pick up my drink and finish the rest of it.
“I’m taking you home.” Phoenix’s tone is clipped. “Let’s go.”
Home .
During my childhood, Connie was the only reason our mansion ever felt like a home to me. That was until she distanced herself from me in the months before her death. I knew something was up, but no matter what I tried, she wouldn’t confide in me.
Until that one day.
“Angie, Phoenix and I are going to get married.”
My hand goes to my chest, the phantom pain almost as potent as the day she told me the news. At first, I’d thought she was joking, but when she gave me that small, sad smile so similar to mine, I knew she was telling the truth.
They officially announced their engagement a week later, and my world was never the same. But she wasn’t the only one I felt betrayed by. Phoenix never promised me anything, he was never officially mine, but that made no difference to my shattered heart.
With that old hurt and betrayal still thrumming in my veins, I grab my purse and spit out a “Fine.”
I was hoping things would be different after this last week, but maybe the pain from the past is too strong that not even the happy nostalgia that continues to drag me into that old, warm cocoon is enough. Maybe that time of my life where my whole world was centered around Phoenix, my personal fantasy, where I would have given everything to be by his side for the rest of my life, will forever be just that: a fantasy.
Because he didn’t want me.
He made his choice, and I’m making mine.
I agreed to marry him for practical purposes. Maybe this week was to show us we can work side by side and be civil, but nothing beyond that.
I say my goodbyes to Mason and Ruby, who are eyeing me warily.
I can’t blame them. I’m giving myself whiplash.
Phoenix takes my hand, and after a quick glance at the healed skin on my palm, pulls me after him.
His skin is warm, his fingers firm against mine.
I stare at our intertwined hands, trying to keep from tripping over my feet.
It’s just for show. You’re engaged, remember?
“Evie.”
Phoenix stops at the voice, and I almost bump into him.
Tyler runs around the glass case, holding a small brown paper bag with the café logo. “Your favorite cookie for the road?”
I try to disentangle my fingers from Phoenix’s, but he’s keeping a death grip on my hand.
Not knowing what else to do, I awkwardly attempt to face Tyler.
“You didn’t have to, Ty.”
He winks at me and hands me the bag. “It’s nothing. I know how you can get without your sugar high.”
A smile spreads across my face, genuine this time. “Thank you. ”
He returns my smile, then shifts his attention to Phoenix. “Hey, man, I heard you’re back.”
Phoenix lifts his chin, his eyes narrowing as he takes in Tyler. “Do I know you?”
I stare at Phoenix. “Seriously?”
He regards me and shrugs, oozing nonchalance.
I sigh. “Tyler went to school with me. You’ve seen him a gazillion times at the house and the pool parties.”
Phoenix stiffens when I mention pool parties, but Tyler only chuckles.
He touches my arm. “Don’t worry about it, Evie. It’s all good. He was gone for a while, and we have no connection except you.”
I huff, unable to hold back my irritation. I don’t even know why I’m reacting like this. If Tyler says it’s not a big deal, it shouldn’t be to me either, but somehow it is.
Because if he doesn’t remember Tyler, does that mean he doesn’t remember other things either? Like the kiss we almost shared in the pool house? When he fractured my heart for the first time of many.
“Turn around, birthday girl, so I can give you your present.”
He’s so close, his breath ghosts over my neck.
“Lift your hair.”
I barely manage to gather it because my hands are shaking so badly.
Something cool touches my collarbone, and I grasp it with my hand. “A compass?”
He walks around me and nods. “It’s supposed to be a reminder to keep moving forward, to follow your dreams.”
My breath leaves me in a whoosh.
I stare at him. “I love it, thank you. ”
He pulls me in for a hug, leaning down enough for his mouth to graze my ear and cheek.
“Happy birthday, Angel.”
His lips move toward my cheek at the same time that I shiver, and his lips hit the corner of my mouth instead.
My gasp is loud, and Phoenix draws back.
“Fuck.” He leans his forehead against mine and exhales harshly. “I’m sorry, but I can’t. There’s no place for someone like you in my life.”
I ended up getting drunk and losing my virginity to Tyler that night.
Happy birthday to me.