34. Olivia
Chapter 34
Olivia
I wish I could truly hate you for what you did to me.
I ’m still thinking about my question the following day at breakfast. Holden’s next to me, and Archer is at the wooden dining table across from us. Archer has been perfectly normal and not at all like he witnessed Holden and me having an emotional breakdown amidst a torrential downpour. Although something seems to be going on between the two guys, considering they barely look at each other, but I’m not sure I’m in a position to ask them directly.
All of this is so new, so fragile, and I’m still trying to find my role in what my life has turned into.
You mean the fact that you just had sex with your husband? It only took you six years to consummate the marriage.
I groan.
That’s not at all what I meant, but of course, now, I’m thinking about the way Holden thrust inside me and the way I exploded around him. Apparently, only he knows how to ignite every inch of me.
Archer studies me, and my cheeks heat under the scrutiny. He can probably see my filthy thoughts written all over my face. Damn it.
The corners of his lips twitch, but he keeps his expression thoughtful, clearly having more important things on his mind.
Of course he does. You just told him someone hacked you and fabricated an email from your account, forcing you to record a song you never wanted a soul to see.
Talk about a cold shower.
Archer takes a sip of his coffee. “You said no one has access to your phone or computer, right?”
I break off a piece of the fresh rolls he made and shake my head. “I didn’t give anyone my passwords and usually don’t leave my devices unattended either.”
“But?”
“With how busy we are at shows or other appearances, and often crammed into a tight space, someone could have seen it without me noticing, I suppose?”
His mug hits the table with a loud clunk , causing some of the liquid to spill over. “So what you’re saying is that, in theory, it could be anyone?”
I grimace and give him what I hope is an apologetic smile before I shove the warm, buttery bite into my mouth and mumble, “Sorry,” around it.
“This is driving me fucking insane.” He stretches his tall frame over the back of the chair and groans. “It’s maddening to be in the dark. It reminds me too much of Phoenix and Evie, and I don’t ever want to get that close to losing someone again.”
“Sorry, I’m no help.”
“It’s not your fault, so stop apologizing. I mean it. I just don’t want anything to happen to you.” He pauses for a beat and looks at Holden. “I don’t want anything to happen to either of you.”
They hold gazes for a prolonged moment, almost as if they’re having a silent conversation I’m not privy to.
I grab another bun to distract myself, but also because this man can bake.
“Olivia.” Archer’s voice has an inquisitive lilt to it. “Any ex-boyfriends who you might have shared your info with before? I mean, whoever is behind this must know you, right? There’s no way this isn’t personal.”
This brings us back to the conversation I had with Holden last night. What the fuck did I ever do to anyone?
The pulse in my throat beats like a frantic drum.
I hate this.
I close my eyes and remember Archer’s still waiting for an answer.
Grabbing another roll, I busy myself with cutting it open, not wanting to see anyone’s expression while I talk. “Well, there are no boyfriends we need to worry about. And the . . . uh . . . the couple acquaintances I had over the years were never alone with my things. Not that I remember, at least.”
The butter and jam in front of me have my complete attention since they’re suddenly the most fascinating things. I ignore the sound coming from Holden, and what I assume is his knife clattering onto his plate, as well as the total silence that falls over the room afterward.
As usual, Stormy has a built-in awkward radar. She gets up from the rug by the patio door, pads over to me and pushes her head onto my lap. She stares up at me with her big, trusting eyes, and I stare right back.
Unable to help myself, I kiss the spot above her eyes. “You already had your food, girlfriend.”
Archer clears his throat. “Speaking of friends. Any of them ever had access?”
This morning’s talk has quickly turned into a let’s-prove-Olivia-is-a-total-social-weirdo showcase. “I . . . I’ve had drinks a few times with Nisha before, and I’ve joined the team on some occasions when they go out, but I’ve never had a real girlfriend until Evie.”
More silence.
Way to go, Olivia. Your awkwardness is exactly why you don’t have any friends.
Holden’s hand lands on my thigh under the table, squeezing it gently. The silent show of support edges its way into my body, and for some reason, the backs of my eyes are suddenly on fire at the small gesture.
Not to mention, if it wasn’t for Holden, I would never have met Evie. So if he hadn’t brought her to my concert, I might still be girlfriendless. What a sad thought. Even though we don’t see each other enough, I love having her in my life, more than I ever thought I would.
Before meeting her, I only knew the girls from my old town. Most friendships there were full of taking advantage of each other, petty insults, back-stabbing, jealousy, and constant competition. I didn’t want or need any of that in my life.
I didn’t realize how lonely I’d been until Evie started filling some empty spaces in my life. She hasn’t changed what’s going on in my life per se, but now I don’t need to do it all by myself anymore. Now I have someone I can talk to about books, shows, movies, or whatever else we feel like. Even a text message from her with a GIF brightens my day. That reminds me, I really need to talk to her about what happened.
Without overthinking it, I place my hand on Holden’s. I don’t squeeze back or say anything, but I do hope my touch conveys how happy I am to have him in my life again and the people he adores.
“Well…” Archer’s voice pulls me out of my thoughts. “Good thing you got all of us now because we got your back. But speaking of, could you do me a favor?”
I let his words wash over me. No one but Holden has had my back before, not truly. And Archer’s right, they have been there for me. All of them in their own way. Not a lot of people would risk their lives to keep you safe or protect your career and other aspects without wanting something in return.
“What’s that?” I shift my attention to Archer but keep my hand where it is.
“I know you’re a busy hotshot.” He grins like he just told a joke. “But until we can figure out who the asshole is behind all of the shit lately, could you try and keep a low profile? For all of our sanity.”
My smile forms almost immediately. It’s hard to resist Archer’s smile when he’s so nice and caring. Holden truly is fortunate to have such a good friend in him. “You’re lucky all this is happening during one of my downtimes. A few months earlier or later, and we’d be in deep shit with my schedule.”
There’s a spark in his eyes that tells me something is coming. And he doesn’t disappoint.
“I was just thinking, your job looks pretty easy. I mean, now that I think about it, I don’t think I’ve seen you work at all in the last several weeks.”
I pick up a roll from the basket and throw it at him. Sadly, it doesn’t smack him in the face the way I’d hoped. Instead, he catches it and laughs.
On the other hand, Holden makes a low sound and pulls me toward him. “Leave her alone, Arch.” Leaning in, he kisses my temple and says, “Don’t listen to him, baby. I think you’re working way too much.”
Since I’m still focused on Archer, he witnesses the entire moment: the way my eyes widen comically at Holden’s very public display of affection, and the way the heat rushes into my neck and cheeks at breakneck speed to the point where I’m convinced I must look like a tomato. All the while, Archer’s smile never wavers. The opposite, actually. He seems happy as a clam.
Only reaffirming my earlier thought: he’s good people.
I clear my throat awkwardly and turn to Holden. Gosh, he’s incredibly close. I want to disappear in him. In his scent. His touch. His everything. I shake my head, trying to clear the fog in my brain. “Would it be okay if Ian came to work with me on my song? That way, I wouldn’t need to drive into?—”
“Absolutely.” Holden levels me with a serious look. “I know it might still feel early, but this is your place too. Right now, we need some extra security measures to vet people, but other than that, you can invite whoever you want.” His eyes narrow slightly. “Well, within reason, of course.”
I can’t tell if he’s talking about other guys or what, but I don’t want to ask either.
He leans even closer, resting his arm on the back of my chair. Caging me in and invading my space most tantalizingly. I get another whiff of his cologne and shut my eyes as a spark ignites in my chest. Whenever he’s around, the air seems to shift into something warming, wrapping around me like a soft blanket.
On top of that, this man is also the sexiest distraction I’ve ever had to deal with. And I’m not even mad about it.
Maybe it’s time to get a little distracted by life and Holden, to let this warm feeling that’s been expanding and multiplying ever since he reentered my life take over. We’ve always had a special connection, a connection I pushed away and tried to fight as best as I could. But now that it’s flared back to life and we’ve opened up to each other, it seems impossible to stop it from growing. To prevent us from turning into more. Into everything.
His lips land on my forehead this time, drawing out a sigh from me.
My phone buzzes and interrupts my peaceful moment, and I draw back to look at the screen.
“Nisha.”
I groan. I’ve never had an issue with my publicist, or any member of my team really, but now that the execs are breathing down my neck, I can never be sure what she’s contacting me about. I know she’s only doing her job, but anxious energy immediately flutters in my stomach. I hate it.
Since staring at my phone doesn’t help, I swipe the screen to open her message.
Nisha: There will be no outing this weekend. Focus on recording the song with Ian and stay under the radar. The bosses want you to attend a small charity concert in two weeks. I know this is super last minute, but it should bring lots of positive publicity.
I think Holden read the message over my shoulder, but I read it aloud anyway.
Archer sighs. “That means we have less than two weeks to find out who’s behind this, or we’ll have a total nightmare situation at the charity event.”
Holden glares at his friend before catching my gaze. “No matter what happens, we’ll make sure you’re safe. Okay? I don’t want you to worry about anything.”
I nod, because what else am I supposed to do? Am I terrified someone might try to harm me or Holden while we’re out in public? Definitely. It’s impossible not to be after everything that’s happened. At the same time, knowing these guys have my back eases at least some of that anxiety.
They have my back.
I’m not alone in this anymore.
The weight of that truth hits me straight behind my rib cage, tightening my chest. But not in the way it used to be when loneliness was causing the ache. This is . . . different. It feels somehow fuller but also lighter now.
I swallow hard, settling into this new, strange sensation of belonging. “So . . . what do I tell her?”
Holden’s focus on me is laser-sharp. “Do you want to do it? The concert, I mean?”
There’s no hesitation. “Always. I love doing charity events. If it wasn’t for all the threats, I would have already done something for the Foxhole too.”
His features soften at my words. “We’ll have plenty of time for that later if you’re still interested. But you’re right. This person is clearly after your personal connections, so it’s better to keep the teens out of the spotlight for now. But I’m not sure how safe the concert will be either. At the very least, we’ll need extra security. Lots of it.”
I compose a message back to Nisha, leaving out the details about some psycho being after us, who’s made severe threats before and, oh, tried to kill us too. She knows about the crazy guy who broke into my condo and some of the minor things that followed that. But she doesn’t know to what extremes it has escalated. Hopefully, what she does know will sound reasonable enough for her to allow the extra security.
Thankfully, we don’t have to wait long. Nisha messages back.
Shouldn’t be a problem. I’ll inform the organizers and get Holden their contact info.
Holden whistles. “She’s definitely got things under control.”
“Yeah.” I draw out the word in a loud exhale.
“What’s up, Buttercup?”
Archer’s voice is gentle, despite the ridiculous nickname he gave me. Although it’s cute, not that I’d admit that out loud. Not when Holden’s already glaring at Archer like he might pull him across the table at any second.
But of course, his question is valid. I swallow several times to gather my nerves and ask the question that has occupied my mind. “Since we’re all pretty sure it’s someone with a personal connection to me, do you . . . do you guys think Nisha could be behind all of this?”