The Alpha’s Cursed Queen (Eternal Oath Saga #1)

Chapter 16

Alice

Holly is forcing me to drink the glass of water she thrust into my hand, but I just want to be left alone.

“Can I get you something else?” she asks anxiously. “Perhaps something to eat.”

She sounds so near to tears that I look up at her and give her a weak smile. “I’m fine, Holly. But I’d like be alone for a while. You can go.”

That seems to be the only thing she doesn’t want to do, but she gives me a jerky nod. “I’ll be right outside. If you need anything, just let me know. I’ll come right away.”

“Thank you.”

Once she’s gone and I’m all alone, I let out a gust of air.

So much for keeping my cool.

My legs feel wobbly. Why did he even come here? Was he trying to get me riled up? If so, then he succeeded.

Where does he get off trying to act all hurt that I got married and had a child? How dare Darian act as if I did him some great injustice?

“Did I love my fake husband?” I mutter to myself, seething. “You bet your damn ass I did. Best fucking relationship of my life!”

I want to throw something against the wall, but I really don’t want Holly coming back in here and parking herself in my office.

I lean back in my desk chair and glare at the ceiling instead. “He did it all to protect me? He’s so full of shit!”

I rub the spot over my chest. It hurts. I should have kept a level head. Why did I snap? At least he doesn’t know that Mira is his. Thank God for small blessings.

My phone vibrates, and I pick it up to see Mary’s name on the screen. I answer the call with, “Darian came by my office just now.”

A hiss from the other end of the line. “What did he do? Are you alright?”

“He was angry that I got married and had a child.” I pick up the glass paperweight on my desk and crush it in my bare hand. “He had the nerve to act all upset, as if I had betrayed him.”

“But he’s with Willow!” Mary bursts out. “What a hypocritical piece of—”

“Oh, I threw that in his face.” The glass shards of the weight are digging into my hand, but I don’t care. “Then, he started telling me that he married Willow but never mated her. As if that makes a difference.”

I pause for her to agree with me, but Mary doesn’t reply immediately.

“It doesn’t, does it?” I ask her.

“Darian says he never mated Willow?” The hesitance in Mary’s voice has me frowning.

“What does it matter, Mary? He married her. He shares her bed. He’s with her!”

“It does make a difference,” Mary says reluctantly. “If he hasn’t mated her, then that means he’s not—He probably hasn’t bedded her.”

“Hasn’t bedded her?” I echo. “You mean, they’ve never had sex?”

“Exactly.”

“What?” A strange anxiety is starting to build up within me. “How can you jump to that conclusion?”

“I’m not jumping to any conclusion, Alice,” my friend responds. “I’ve been so careful about not telling you anything about what’s happening in this part of the world, but I’ve been hearing things, and if what you’re saying is true, then it makes a lot of sense.”

I sit up straight. “What things have you been hearing?”

“Well, Darian and Willow have been together for seven years now. When they make public appearances, Darian never touches her. He follows all the royal protocols, but he never touches her, not even her hand. On top of that, they haven’t had a child yet. Shifters are rarely sterile. And before anyone in the royal family gets married, they undergo testing by healers.” Her voice lowers and fills with glee. “Their tests were clear. They can both conceive. Well, you already knew that Darian has no problem in that department. Despite that, Willow has not gotten pregnant. I did find it strange, like many others do, but now that you tell me he never mated her, that explains a lot.”

When she doesn’t elaborate, I growl, “Explains what, Mary? I don’t know what you’re talking about.”

She clears her throat. “If Darian never gave Willow the mating mark, that means he’s never slept with her. Once a wolf shifter couple gets married legally, the first night they spend together is when the male gives the female his mark. It’s common knowledge. And let’s say he doesn’t give her the mark for whatever reason. If he sleeps with her several times, his wolf is going to insist upon giving her the mating mark. If Darian has been able to hold out this long, it can only mean one thing: he has never slept with Willow.”

“But Cyrus used to sleep around all the time. He never marked anybody.”

“I know, but this is different,” Mary explains patiently. “Most shifters can be a little promiscuous before they come of age. Not everyone, but a lot of our kind. The instinct to find a mate is very strong after you come of age. That’s when shifters slow down. Even if they do sleep around, they don’t choose the same partner more than twice. Otherwise, their wolf wants to mark them. It’s all very complicated. But the point is, Willow hasn’t been knocked up, and Darian doesn’t even touch her in public. I don’t think he’s lying to you. Not only has he not mated her, he’s never even touched her. He’s been living like a monk all these years.”

My anxiety is growing worse. “What if you’re wrong?”

I hear the scoffing sound from the other end of the line. “I’m a senior healer, Alice. I’m not often wrong about these things. What I want to know is why he chose Willow when he never wanted to sleep with her? What kind of life is that?”

I can smell the blood coming from my palm where the shards of glass are now piercing my skin. “Mary—”

“What did he say to you, Alice?”

“He said everything he did was to protect me. But he was lying. He was lying, wasn’t he? How was doing what he did to me protecting me? He tortured me, Mary! He let the witches torture me! I still—” My voice grows thick with emotion. “There are times when I wake up in the night, still caught in that nightmare. I haven’t forgotten anything from that day—how it felt, where it hurt, nothing! I remember begging him, and I remember Willow kicking me in the face. He let it all happen. You can’t justify what he did to me just by telling me he hasn’t slept with her for seven years!”

“Alice! Alice, I’m not,” Mary says gently. “I’m not justifying anything. I’m not saying anything. You are.”

Shaking, I let the remainder of the paperweight slip from my hand to the floor. The shards scatter everywhere, but I pay no attention. My face is wet with tears, and I wipe them fiercely with the back of my hand. “I hate him. I hate him so much, Mary.”

She sighs. “Are you trying to convince me or yourself?”

I stare at the pieces of glass sticking out of my hand. Deliberately, I pull them out, one by one. “He was acting strange. It doesn’t matter what he said. I don’t care what his reason was for putting me through it all. I didn’t deserve that. I didn’t deserve any of it.”

“You’re right.” She pauses before asking, “Was there anything else? Anything he said that stood out to you?”

“Something about making a deal with the devil if it meant saving me. He was so full of it.”

Once again, there is silence from Mary’s end.

I scowl. “I can hear you overthinking.”

“I love you, Alice, but one of us has to look at the situation from a level-headed perspective. I want to know what he meant by making a deal with the devil.”

“I don’t really care, Mary. I just want him to go away. He has disrupted my life enough. If he wants to be a monk, let him go and be a monk. I don’t want to know his reasons for doing what he did to me. Because whatever he tells me, I’m not going to believe it. I’m not going to be a gullible fool again only for him to stab me in the back. I have Mira to think of now.”

“I understand that, Alice. I’m not telling you to do anything. Has he said anything about Mira?”

I sigh in relief. “He thinks she’s my daughter from my human husband. As long as the two of them don’t meet, he will never find out the truth. You’re flying in next week, and you’ll bring something to suppress her scent, won’t you?”

“Don’t worry. I have everything arranged. It’ll be alright, Alice. This was the first time you were alone with him, and the confrontation didn’t go as badly as I’d imagined. I don’t think you have to worry about running away anymore. Darian doesn’t seem to be interested in ruining your life like you initially thought.”

I have to agree with her. However, that doesn’t mean I won’t be careful.

Once we end the call, I ask Holly to get me some lunch from the deli nearby. However, the sandwich doesn’t taste as good as I remember. It seems bland. Maybe it’s me, though. My heart isn’t in it.

I don’t know how to deal with this situation. By letting go of this opportunity to work on Katherine’s collaboration with Darian, I jeopardized my position as a potential partner of this law firm. But nothing comes before protecting Mira.

I lean back in my chair, setting the sandwich down on my desk. A deal with the devil? Who was he talking about? What deal?

No scenario that I can imagine would justify Darian’s actions. He abandoned me, had the white witches torture me, and lied to them that I was a dark witch when I wasn’t. And then he announced his engagement to Willow. It’s like he was looking for every opportunity to hurt me. And he succeeded.

My office phone rings, and when I pick it up, Holly says, “It’s Miss Lockhart. Should I put her through?”

It’s been a week since I talked to Katherine. My head has been such a mess that I haven’t been able to figure out what to say to her.

When Katherine comes on the line, she sounds distressed. “I need to talk to you, Alice.”

I close my eyes. “You are talking to me. What’s going on?”

“Darian Kassel came around this morning,” she begins, and I immediately go still.

“What did he want?”

“It’s not what he wanted, but whom. He said—Alice, he threatened that if you don’t resume your role as the lawyer representing us in the collaboration, the deal is off.”

My eyes fly open in shock. “He can’t do that! He can’t tell you who can represent you and who can’t!”

“I don’t think this is about legal issues anymore, Alice. It’s personal. I—” Her voice hitches. “I was thinking about telling my father that this project can’t work. I don’t want to put you in the same room as that man, but—”

“Don’t worry.” I smile faintly. “This collaboration is very important to you, Katherine. I know you’re going to try to apologize next, but don’t bother. I’ll come through for you.”

“But Darian—”

“Don’t worry about him, either.” I spin my chair around and gaze out the window. “I’ll figure it all out. He came by my office, as well. We exchanged a few words.”

“What did he want with you?” I can hear the protective edge to her voice, and I want to laugh.

“No idea.”

When I don’t say anything further, Katherine asks, “What are you hiding from me, Alice? You know you can tell me anything.”

I wet my lips. “I admit, there are certain things about myself that I’m not being very honest about. I wish I could tell you the truth, but—”

She makes a sound of understanding. “When the lies begin to unravel—”

“—they unravel to no end,” I finish my friend’s thought. “There are two people I trust in this world, Kat, and you are one of them. But there are certain things I have to conceal, for both my safety and yours. So, I need you to trust me when I tell you I can’t tell you.”

She chuckles. “Some wordplay there.” But the humor fades from her voice as she asks, “You’re not in any danger, are you? I can get you out of the country, no questions asked, if need be. And even if not out of the country, I can hide you someplace where nobody will find you. I have those resources, Alice.”

“I may have to take you up on that.”

“Alice, about the project—”

“It’s fine, Katherine,” I tell her firmly. “There’s a dinner meeting tomorrow night, correct? I’ll be there. I’m not going to let Darian Kassel intimidate me. I can handle him.”

By the time I hang up, I’m simmering with rage. He threatened to screw over Katherine? That’s just so typical.

As I get to my feet, I refuse to admit to myself that finding another reason to be angry with Darian almost makes me feel relieved. However, I am still reeling from what he said to me and what Mary told me. I don’t want to forgive, and I don’t want to forget.

How can anyone expect me to move past the most horrific moments of my life?

No. Even if I accept that Darian isn’t planning on hurting me, that doesn’t mean I’m going to trust him. Being burned by him once was enough for me.

*****

The dinner to celebrate the collaboration between Acme Intech Corporation and Pinnacle Group is a formal affair. It’s black tie, even, and I put on a modest, black, sleeveless dress with a short jacket that goes with it and covers my back and arms.

When the witches cast their magic on me, physical scars were left—scars that have never healed, for some reason. That is why I’ve always kept my upper back covered.

When I enter the hall, Katherine is the first to see me, and she looks relieved. Hurrying over, she takes my hands in hers. “I owe you so much for this, Alice.”

“Oh, shut up,” I laugh. “I can handle a little uncomfortable situation for you. No big deal.”

She gives me a knowing look. “I know it’s more than an uncomfortable situation, and I’m very grateful. But they haven’t arrived yet, so you can relax for a while.”

I find a corner to hide in. Usually, I would be socializing and networking, but today, I just don’t have the strength. However, I’m dragged away by one person then another as more and more guests recognize me. It’s not the worst thing. The distraction helps.

I make sure to stay away from the entrance. When Darian and his team arrive, I know it immediately, as a lot of people move toward him. I choose to take the opportunity to head out of the hall to get a few minutes of silence.

I’m still reeling from the events of yesterday, and the last thing I need is for Darian to approach me. He’s going to be busy with the Pinnacle Group employees for now; so, sitting outside in the garden, I finally relax. I would rather be home with my daughter. I’ve barely spent any time with her these past several days, and she has noticed it. She’s young but perceptive.

Almost as if Mira can sense me thinking about her, I hear my phone ring, and my lips curve into a soft smile when I see the caller ID.

“You’re supposed to be in bed, honey.”

“When are you coming home?” my daughter asks in a plaintive tone. “It’s movie night tonight. We always watch a movie on movie night, but you’re not here.”

“I know. I have this work thing. Do you think we could switch movie night to tomorrow?”

“But movie night is tonight!” Mira insists, sounding upset.

I laugh lightly, wishing I could be there with her, snuggling on the couch and watching cartoons. “How about I make you a deal?” I suggest. “We shift movie night to tomorrow, and we eat as much popcorn and ice cream as you want.”

“I can have as much ice cream as I want?” she demands suspiciously. “Really? You won’t be mad at me if I eat a whole tub?”

“There’s no way you can eat a whole tub,” I chuckle, “but I’ll give you points for trying.”

“I can eat a whole tub,” Mira insists. “I want chocolate chip ice cream. No! The peanut butter one! I want that one!”

“Tomorrow is Saturday, right?” I smile into the phone. “Tell you what: tomorrow morning, we’ll go together to buy the ice cream and other snacks. How does that sound?”

She agrees, the promise of ice cream granting me complete immunity for every crime. “But you have to come home soon. You have to read me a story.”

“I will,” I assure her. “You pick out a story, and when I get back tonight, we’ll both change into our pajamas, and I’ll read it to you.”

“Can I get two stories?” she asks mischievously.

“You’ll fall asleep in the middle of the first one, but sure,” I respond dryly. “Now, you be a good girl for Mrs. Gertrude, and I’ll try to come home as soon as possible.”

When the line finally goes dead, I look down at my phone, smiling.

“Was that your daughter?”

The voice startles me, and when I turn my head, I see Darian standing a few feet from me. “Were you eavesdropping?”

“No. I came out to get some air, and I saw you talking on the phone.”

“Well, can you go get air somewhere else?” I demand.

He tucks his hands in his pockets. “No.”

My temper flares. “Well, then, I’ll go.” I have to walk past him to get back inside, but he grabs me by the elbow, forcing me to come to a halt.

“How long are you going to avoid me?”

I look at him, and his eyes bore into mine. “As long as I have to. I have nothing to say to you.”

“I want to know about the man you married.”

“My marriage is none of your business,” I hiss at him. “Peter and I—”

“Peter?” Darian’s head tilts to one side. “I thought his name was Paul.”

Dang it! Peter was the name I initially chose before I concocted Paul. I still get the two mixed up at times.

“That’s what I meant.” I pull my arm away from Darian. “Paul and I were madly in love. He was better than you in every conceivable way, and the hole he left in my life can never be filled again. I have a lot on my plate, so if you don’t mind, please just leave me alone.”

He blocks my path, his eyes glittering with a strange emotion. “Why did you say Peter?”

I’m beginning to panic. “It was a slip of the tongue.”

“There’s no slip of the tongue when it comes to the name of the man you loved.” Darian narrows his eyes. “Who’s Peter?”

“My lover!” I growl. “Are you happy now?”

He stares at me for a long time, and I start to feel nervous. Finally, he says, “Show me a picture of your husband.”

“What?”

He takes another step toward me. “He was the so-called love of your life, wasn’t he?” His smile is cool. “Show me a photo of him. You must have one on your phone.”

“That’s a gross invasion of my privacy. You have no right to—”

“Do I look like I care?” Darian demands. “I want to see what this man looks like, the one who was so much better than me in every possible way.”

“I don’t have to show you anything!” I move backward, and the backs of my knees hit the bench I was sitting on.

“Could it be that you have no pictures of this esteemed Paul in your phone?”

“Whether I do or not, what’s it to you?” I try to go on the offensive, but his next statement stops me in my tracks.

“Well, I have pictures of the woman I love in my phone.” He takes out his phone and shows me a photo of a woman sleeping in bed, a sheet wrapped around her. He swipes to the next one, where the same woman is sitting on a log, eating a pastry. The third picture is of her and Darian together. She’s sleeping, and Darian is grinning into the camera.

It’s me.

I’m the girl in all his photos.

My mouth moves, but nothing comes out.

“I have loved you from the moment I met you,” Darian says in a low voice. “When you disappeared, when I finally began to accept that you might truly be gone, I still kept my pictures of you. You see, when you love somebody beyond all reason, and you’ve lost them, when everything goes dark, it’s those pictures that remind you of her existence, of how she smiled at you, how she looked at you. You need some part of her in order to keep going. So, where is the picture of Paul on your phone?”

Why does he have photos of me? Why did he keep them preserved on his phone? He got rid of me, didn’t he? He got what he wanted. What kind of sick game is this?

And what if it is not a game?

My heart is in my mouth as I look at him, and Darian misunderstands. His eyes flash at me as he asks, “Where did you meet Paul, Alice? How did he win your heart? Because from all accounts, what I did to you was so bad that you wouldn’t have been able to trust anybody. I’m not blind! Even if I wanted to kill myself in that moment, I still saw what you went through! By your own admission, I was a monster! So, how did you go and fall in love with someone so quickly after a monster ruined your life?”

My body is trembling now. He has begun to figure it out.

“Do you know what I saw the other day when I looked up your husband’s name and the name of the company he supposedly died at?” His voice goes softer now. “There was only one Paul Scott there. And he was a sixty-year-old man who was a widower. He also happened to live in your apartment complex when you first moved to Arizona.”

I have nowhere to go. Darian has me trapped against the bench.

“Why did you run to Arizona and marry a sixty-year-old widower, Alice?” he asks, his eyes sharp. “Or was he simply your most convenient excuse? Because I don’t believe there ever was a Paul in your life. And if that’s the case, who is the father of your daughter?”

My claws dig into my palm as my pulse races. He figured it out. Mary and I never thought anybody would dig so deep. After all, who does that?!

As far as anybody knew, Paul existed. And in the human world, even if someone were to realize that he was thirty-seven years older than me when we married, they would not think twice about it. After all, age gaps are nothing new or strange. My neighbor was a sweet man. When he passed away, it was Mary who came up with the idea, and I thought it was fine. Paul had no family to speak of. Nobody would notice.

But Darian noticed. He noticed the holes in the story, and he poked them till everything fell apart.

“You don’t know what you’re talking about.” I try to push past him, but his hands come to settle on my upper arms as he looks at me, his gaze tense. “Your daughter, Alice. Who is her father?”

He’s so close to figuring it all out. If he does, if he finds out that Mira is his, what will I do? I have to stop him from uncovering the truth!

“It was a one-night stand, okay?” I snarl. “I went into a bar, and the first stranger I saw, I let him fuck me. When I got to Arizona, I slept around. After what you’d done, I needed something to fix me. So, I slept with every human I could find. I got pregnant, and I decided to keep the child.”

His grip on me weakens, and I shove him away from me. “You win, Darian. There is no Paul. He was just a convenient excuse so that Mira never questioned the absence of her father. But don’t think for even a minute that this changes anything. Those pictures on your phone? I don’t know why you’ve kept them all this time, maybe some convoluted plot in case you ever found me…”

I shake my head, not believing this is happening. “I don’t know how your mind works, Darian. I’ve stopped trying to figure it out. But now you know the truth. I was a whore. I slept with so many men that I lost count. You brought me to the point where I could only feel something in another man’s arms. Good job. You got what you wanted. There’s no point trying to destroy my life all over again now. It’s already a wreck. And you don’t want somebody like me who is all used up. So, delete those photos and get on with your life. And for the love of God, leave me alone!”

I push past him. I need to get away from this man, but he’s not having it. He pulls me back, forcing me against the brick wall, out of sight of the people passing by the windows. “I don’t care how many men you slept with. I don’t. As long as there’s nobody in your heart, Alice.”

I try to escape his hold, not wanting to hear what he has to say. I don’t want to listen to those sweet words that are nothing but lies. I don’t want to be broken again when I only just managed to put myself back together.

“What are you doing?” I struggle in his grip. “I don’t—Let me go, Darian!”

“I’ve been trying to!” he snarls. “Ever since I saw you in that boardroom, I’ve been telling myself to stay away from you, to let you live your life. But I can’t do that anymore. I’ve suffered seven miserable years, stuck by that woman’s side, forced to tolerate her. Don’t ask me to go back to her. I can’t live without you, Alice. You don’t know what happened that night, seven years ago, when we shared your bed. After I left you there, the series of events that followed forced my hand. I had to protect you.”

He still has my shoulders pinned to the wall as he continues. “If I had made one wrong move in that ballroom, Alice, they would have taken you away! They would’ve taken you to a place where I couldn’t get to you. I was trying to protect you. I didn’t know that the spell the white witches would cast would be so horrific. And when I saw how bad it was, I couldn’t step in. You have to believe me. I wasn’t torturing you or punishing you or whatever you decided I was doing. I was a puppet. And whatever power I had at that moment, I was trying to exercise it to keep you safe. To keep you alive!”

The desperate tinge to his voice has unbidden tears coming to my eyes. My claws dig into my thighs, and I smell blood. My blood.

I don’t want to remember that time. I don’t want to forgive him or even try to understand his words. I just want to be left alone.

I must have spoken those words out loud because when Darian looks at me, his expression is filled with torment.

“I know it was easy to hate me then, and even now, but I can prove it. I can prove everything. And I would’ve done so if you hadn’t left. I was never going to let the witches get to you to brand you, Alice. If you hadn’t disappeared that night, I had made arrangements to send you someplace where nobody could touch you. If you don’t trust me, you can ask Jimmy. And if you don’t trust him, there is a plethora of evidence: text messages and recorded conversations that I can show you. Give me a chance, Alice. I thought I could live without you, but I can’t. That one sacrifice cost me far too much. I can’t make it again.”

I don’t want to trust these words. The tears finally spill out of my eyes. “I won’t trust you. No matter what you show me, I will never trust you, Darian. I won’t go back to your world where you can hurt me again. Get away from me. Get away from me now!”

He must have seen the finality my eyes because despair fills his. “No, you won’t.” He releases me, and I see a broken look cross his face. “You will never trust me again.”

Shaking, I move away from him. “That’s right. You weren’t the one who had to live with that humiliation. You weren’t the one who was sent to death’s door in the worst possible manner. You were the first man I trusted. The first one I…” I stop, changing gears. “I should’ve gone with my instinct not to believe anything you said to me back then, but I wanted to think that there was somebody out there who could love me. That was a foolish dream, a naive girl’s fantasy. And for that trust in you, I paid a price so high that I’ve never recovered from it. Do you think I would give you another chance, another opportunity to do the same thing to me again?”

There’s a lost look in his eyes now, and I find myself pushing him backward this time. “For all my faults, I did love you, Darian. And the scars you left on me never healed. It’s only now that I’ve found a way to survive. And I am surviving. I don’t need you to come and take that from me again. Go back to your wife, to your mate, to the woman you let hurt me and humiliate me. Go back to her, have your children, rule your kingdom. I don’t want any part of it. I don’t want any part of you.”

Thunder sounds in the sky, and a soft rain begins to fall. “A witch, Darian. You told them I was a dark witch!” I hiss, tears falling down my face as rage and grief overwhelm me. “If there had been some conspiracy going on, and you’d had no choice, I would have gone along with it if you had only come to me beforehand and told me. Or sent me a warning. But you never did that. You never did any of that, and that’s why I know you’re lying. I won’t ever trust you again. You don’t deserve my trust, and you don’t deserve me. I had no money when I came here, but I made something of myself. I worked myself to the bone. I did everything I could to get to the top, and now you show up and want to take that away from me? Fat fucking chance. That’s not going to happen.”

My whole body is shaking violently now, and when Darian tries to say something, I hold up my hand. “They left scars on my body, Darian.” I take off my jacket and throw it in his face. “Look. The scars have never healed. The fruits of your labor.”

I turn around and show him the vicious red marks on my back that make it look like I was whipped. “Every time I see them, I’m reminded of how I groveled in front of you. I would’ve licked your feet in that moment if you had told me to. You broke my spirit, my pride, and that is something I can never forgive you for. You debased me in front of everyone. If you loved me, if you cared for me, you would’ve stopped that mockery, but you didn’t.” A bitter laugh leaves my mouth. “You didn’t do that. Instead, you went to stand by the side of the girl who had tormented me my whole life.”

When I look at him now, all the fight leaves my body. “I don’t understand, Darian. If you despised me so much, you could have just killed me. I wouldn’t have fought you. I would have welcomed that in the face of what you did to me. But no, you wanted me to suffer, and you made sure I did. I can never forgive you for that. No reasons you can give me will ever justify that.”

Turning around, I walk away from him, leaving him standing in the rain.

I’m done.