Chapter 48 Lukas
48
Lukas
At last he was free from pain. At last he could stop pretending all was well, ignoring the deep aching, forcing his body to keep going even when he could hardly bear it. Now he could move, breathe, rest. But for all that, he was not comfortable in this place with its strange folk and the feeling that magic, if not right before his eyes, was all around him. He’d felt it in the touch of the quiet man who’d applied a pungent-smelling poultice to his side while Lukas lay very still on the bed. He’d tasted it in the draught the healers had given him, which was an unlikely shade of green. To be fair, it had tasted far better than it looked. After that he’d slept, not waking until dawn light entered the airy dwelling that housed the Hermit’s healers. At present he was the sole occupant except for the dog, which had refused to leave his side and which now lay quiet alongside his pallet. He was glad the healers had allowed Shadow to stay. They had checked Matiss’s shoulder, supplied him with a fresh sling, given him, too, a draught to take. But Matiss had then left the healers’ house. He had not returned here to sleep.
Lukas hadn’t seen Stasya since the old woman took her away. Perhaps she had slept in the crone’s quarters, or with some women of the Forest Folk. Now that there were choices, she surely wouldn’t be sharing quar ters with Aleksis and the others. He would have gone to find her, but the healer had given him instructions to stay where he was, at least until someone came to check on him this morning. He could hardly argue with that after all they had done for him. He wondered what was in that odd-looking draught. There were too many disturbing tales about what might happen if human folk ate or drank in the Otherworld.
There was to be a great gathering later in the day. The whole community. Before that happened, before Stasya could talk to Aleksis again, he wanted to see her. He needed to find out how she was really feeling and what she wanted to do. Or was it too soon for that discussion? He might only upset her. They weren’t going to let him go home until the settlement was safe, and who knew how long that would take? So he was stuck here for a good while. Each day of delay was another day of endurance for his parents, his sisters, his community. Another day of backbreaking labour, of constant fear. Who was looking after the goats? Were there even any goats left?
At least the Commander was gone. Perhaps the others would be withdrawn. A man could only wish. Even so, there was a huge task ahead. Putting things to rights. Mending what was broken. Rebuilding the community again, piece by piece. He needed to be there.
His heart was racing now; the healers would not approve. He closed his eyes, imagining what Stasya might say. Breathe slowly, Lukas. Make it a pattern. And she’d repeat some sort of rhyme or charm to calm him. It’s hard to be patient , she would say. It’s hard to take things slowly. Think of trees; how long they stand there, looking out over the world, watching as the years pass and humankind does all sorts of stupid things. As those years pass, their roots go deeper and deeper, and their branches stretch wider, and they make room for all sorts of creatures to live in them. They give us shade in summer; they give us their berries and nuts; when they drop branches, they give us wood for building or fuel for our fires in winter. They gladden our hearts with their beauty and their mystery. Breathe like a tree.
‘Lukas?’
His eyes snapped open; he’d been lying there in a daze. He sat up too quickly, wincing.
‘Careful,’ Stasya said, reaching out an arm to steady him. ‘Don’t undo the healers’ good work.’
‘I’m fine. Much better.’ He heard how sharp that sounded and drew a couple of long breaths. ‘Sorry. You startled me. You came in so quietly.’
‘I thought you were asleep.’ Stasya sat down on the stool beside his bed. ‘I wanted to come and see you yesterday. But Mother Rowan – she’s the wise woman here – had other things for me to do. Including a bath and a sleep. I stayed in her home. It’s in the caves, within the Hermit. And there really is amber here; the stories don’t lie.’
He didn’t want to think about amber. Even though that was what had started all this. Was it possible, still , that Aleksis was lying about all of it, and that he would carry the news of amber straight back to the Ruler? He didn’t want to believe that. It couldn’t be so, could it? After finding his old friend, and the joyful reunion, and the way they had fought the Commander’s men? Risked their lives? Even poor Pavel had changed sides again in that terrible fight. He thought of Stasya with a bloody knife in her hands; Stasya with the Commander’s blade against her neck. He never wanted her to be in such a position again. It was wrong. So wrong.
‘What?’ she asked, making him start. ‘What’s troubling you? I thought you said you were fine. If something’s wrong, tell me.’
‘It’s nothing. It’s just … This feels odd, us here, safe, and the lost boy found, and everything suddenly to rights, when …’ He faltered, unable to go on. The thing was too big to put into words.
‘When yesterday we were killing people? Almost getting killed ourselves? Not to speak of what happened at the ridgeway. It’s odd, all right. Hard to talk about. Hard to believe it’s real and we’re not sitting down there on the edge of the forest, watching over the goats. When I first woke this morning with Flip tucked in next to me, for a moment I thought the whole thing had been some mad dream. Then I looked up and saw the cave roof and heard Mother Rowan poking the fire. Not a dream. It’s our lives, Lukas. This is where we are right now.’ She paused, looking down at her hands. ‘Where we go next is another question.’
‘You know I’ll go back home. These folk have said they’ll take me there when it’s safe. Though how long that’ll be I have no idea.’
‘Lukas.’
Something was coming; something he didn’t want to hear. He stayed quiet. Waited.
‘She – Mother Rowan – she said I could stay here if I wanted to. She said she’d teach me to use my gift wisely. I think she meant I would live here and work with her for a long while, and maybe take over her work when she’s too old to manage it. They call her the Forest Guardian. She watches over Heartwood and teaches folk to treat it with love and respect. She tells stories.’
Stasya was gazing at him, her eyes so bright it made him want to weep. Stupid fool of a man. Of course she loved that idea. Wasn’t that exactly what she tried to do every single day of her life? It was only wretched Aleksis who had led her on this path of fear and blood. This was a good thing, a wonderful thing. Best for her. Of course. ‘You would really do that? Say goodbye to the human world? To your own kind?’
Stasya smiled. ‘Mother Rowan is my own kind. Born to a human family. But raised by the Forest Folk, and rich in wisdom. Not all of the folk who live here are of that other race. And not all of them stay within this realm all the time. There are some links with the outside world. Those are necessary. But this place is … protected.’
What to say? This was perfect for her. It was what she wanted. And she was his dearest friend, the companion of his childhood, the one who could tell a story just for him, turning his mood from dark to light with the magic of her words. She was … herself, whole and true. How could he suggest anything else? He thought of her little cottage on the edge of the forest, with its welcome hearth and its well-tended garden; he imagined it empty, desolate, the door half-off its hinges and banging loose in a chill wind. He thought maybe his heart was breaking. What else could cause such terrible pain?
‘You’ll wed a fine girl, Lukas.’ Stasya spoke so softly he could hardly hear the words. ‘There’s someone waiting for you, I’m sure of it. You’ll make a wonderful husband, a great father, a leader loved by your whole community. It’s the truth.’ She released his hand and rose to her feet. ‘I’d better go. I’ll see you later at the gathering. Surely they’ll let you out for that.’ And she was gone.