Chapter 10
CHAPTER TEN
FOREIGNER, “SAY YOU WILL”
Eve
“You’re glowing,” Grandma Bonnie said, adjusting her glasses with her arm while she crocheted from the recliner in her room.
Lillyann McDonald, a junior at the high school, played the piano in the foyer just down the hall from Grandma’s room. She was trying to get volunteer hours in for college applications. I closed the door for a bit of privacy and so Grandma could hear me past the piano.
“I think I’m on the verge of doing something stupid, but I don’t know how to stop,” I said.
Grandma Bonnie paused her hands and eyed me over the top of her glasses. “Well, my dear, I guess the question is, do you want to stop? And if you don’t, what are the consequences?”
That right there was the reason I spent so much time at the nursing home. My parents would never have given me that response. They would have beaten the truth out of me with a big guilt trip and the threat of spending another moon cycle locked in my room.
“I don’t want to stop, but I also don’t know the consequences for sure.”
“Is it dangerous?”
I shook my head.
“Illegal?”
Again, I shook my head.
“Does it involve a boy?”
I grinned.
She nodded slowly and returned her attention to the half-finished blanket on her lap. “Have you prayed about it?”
I giggled. Grandma didn’t believe in God but supported what she called my parents’ need to “imagine.”
My dad always corrected her with the word “faith” or “belief.”
“I know God’s answer,” I said.
“But?”
“But …” I sighed, plopping onto the bed. “But what if God’s answer is really just my dad’s voice in my head. Maybe God would be like, ‘Go for it, Eve. You only live once.’”
“Are you asking for my advice, permission, or do you just need to talk this through out loud?”
“I love you,” I said with a huge grin.
Her shoulders relaxed as if my confession melted her. “Are you buttering me up?”
“No. I just wish my parents would say the things you say. I wish they’d let me figure things out on my own without feeling the need to control me and punish me for every wrong decision.”
“Well, in all fairness, I’ve seen more than they have. Your parents feel very invested in you. When you make a poor decision, they feel responsible.”
“But they’re not.”
She nodded. “I know. But letting go of control is hard. It’s scary.”
I frowned. “They just don’t want me to embarrass them.”
“They don’t want to see you experience pain. Parents are hardwired to keep their babies safe and out of pain—no matter the age. You will forever be a part of them, meaning it will be hard for them to see where they end and you begin. So you have two choices.”
“Which are?”
“You can walk the line, or you can build a fence along it so they have to stay on their side. And that’s part of growing up. But it also means they can no longer be there to save you. If you want to fly, you have to be willing to fall and even crash. But if you can do that and show them that your strength is greater than your mistakes and imperfections, they will see that they raised you right.”
I fiddled with the silver ring on my middle finger. “I have a huge crush on my neighbor.”
“The coach?”
I nodded.
“Oh dear.”
I nodded again. “Oh dear indeed. And I don’t know if he could ever think of me like anyone but his brother’s best friend's daughter, but I spend most of my waking hours dreaming about it.”
“He’s handsome.” She waggled her eyebrows, and it made me laugh.
“He is. But it’s more than that. He gets my humor. He matches it. And he thinks I remind him of himself when he was my age. His son is irresistibly cute. He loves to fish just like Grandpa did. And he thinks the apples in the orchard taste too sour to eat.”
Her face lit up because she’d told me long ago that I needed someone like Grandpa. He was a tough man with a gruff attitude, except with her. Grandpa always said his Bonnie was his weakness. He said he only had one life to live, but he’d die a million deaths for her.
“I don’t think that’s a line you can walk,” she said.
I shook my head. “No. It’s definitely a fence I’d have to build.”
“You’re young,” she murmured, tipping her chin to focus on a new row of stitches. “Are you prepared to live on the other side by yourself?”
“Sarah did. She chose love.”
“Is it love that you have?”
“Can I get back to you on that?”
She smirked without looking up at me. “You know where I’ll be.”
I slid off the bed and squatted before her, resting my hands on hers. “Is there anything you need? Are they still being good to you here?”
She got a little teary-eyed when I asked that, and I asked it every time. Her hand pressed to my cheek. “Yes, my dear. Thank you.”
During the following days, I lived for winks and smiles, extended glances, and every butterfly Kyle stirred to life in my tummy. I surprised him with apple crisp on Wednesday and muffins on Thursday.
However, on Friday, he surprised me, and I discovered I didn’t like surprises.
“Do you have plans tonight?” He baited me.
Every cell in my body took on my heartbeat from anticipating his next question. I stayed calm and offered a slight headshake as I followed him to the door that morning. He only had one practice that day.
“Would you watch Josh this evening?”
It took my foolish heart a few extra seconds to register his words. “Um, sure. Why? I didn’t think your first game was until next week.”
“It’s not,” he said, opening the back door. “Your mom called last night and asked if I knew how to install a toilet. Then she asked if I’d install one for Denise Overton in exchange for dinner.”
“My mom’s making you dinner so you’ll install a toilet for Denise?”
He returned a funny grin. “No. Denise is making me dinner.”
That’s what I feared.
“A date?”
“No. A toilet installation and food.”
I frowned. “You’re so na?ve. It’s a date. My mom mentioned three women on the prowl, and Denise was one of them. She probably doesn’t even need a new toilet.”
“It would be easier and cheaper to ask me out on a date than to pretend she needs a new toilet.” He headed out the back door. “I’ll see you later.”
No. He wouldn’t see me later; he would see Denise and her new toilet later. I followed him to his truck.
“When she answers the door in nothing but a fur coat, don’t say I didn’t warn you.”
He turned before opening the driver’s door. “It’s a little hot for a fur coat.”
“That’s why she’ll slide it off her shoulders when you step inside her house.”
Kyle lifted his eyebrows.
“And I’m not saying it should matter, but she won’t look like one of your centerfolds. I’m not sure you’ll find the gesture admirable. ”
He coughed a laugh and opened the door. “Eve, I don’t think most women look like a centerfold. I’m sure she’s nice,” he said, climbing into his truck.
I stepped closer so he couldn’t shut the door. “Most women in Devil’s Head are nice , but that doesn’t mean you should date, envy, admire, or be inspired by them. I told you I’d find someone for you, but you haven’t given me enough time.”
He slowly nodded. “Well, good thing it’s just a handyman job and a thank-you meal, not a date.”
I deflated. Denise was nice. And pretty. She was closer to his age—twenty-seven or twenty-eight. And she worked at the animal rescue shelter one town over.
“Eve?” He woke me from my thoughts.
I glanced up at him.
“I have to go. If you can’t watch Josh, that’s fine. I can ask your sister or take him with me.”
I perked up. Denise would have to keep her clothes on if he took Josh.
“Sorry. I have a date tonight, and Gabby’s going to a movie.”
It was a lie and a half. Maybe two lies. I wasn’t sure if Gabby was going to a movie, but it was her usual Friday night plan.
Kyle inspected me as if he didn’t trust me.
I didn’t blink. That was how I made all of my lies believable. No blinking. No smiling. I just stood like a statue until he accepted it.
“Fine. I’ll take him with me. Now, I have to go.”
I stepped backward and mumbled a “goodbye” before he closed the door and sped down the driveway.
“Maybe I need my toilet fixed too,” I said to no one except the wind as I spun on my heels and headed back into the house.
“Where are you going?” Dad asked the next morning. After I inhaled the waffle Mom had made me, I headed toward the door.
“Kyle—uh, Mr. Collins asked me to come over this morning because he and Josh are target shooting with bows, and Josh wanted me to see him hit the target.”
“He’s really taken a liking to you, huh?”
I glanced up, hair hanging in my face as I worked my heel into my sneaker while balancing on one leg. “It’s not like that. Josh is the one who wants me to come over.”
Dad narrowed his eyes. “I was talking about Josh.”
“Oh, yeah. Duh. Yes, Josh likes me. He’s a sweet boy. Sure, he clogged our toilet, but who hasn’t?” I shot my dad a toothy grin. “See ya.” I ran out the door before he could ask any follow-up questions.
I had intended on baking something to bring them that morning, but I was angry at Kyle for fixing Denise’s toilet, so I showed up empty-handed.
“Let’s go!” Josh yelled from the porch as soon as he saw me. “Come on, Eve! I’ll show you.”
I wanted a boy just like him: full of life, endless smiles, and contagious giggles.
Kyle slowly stood from the porch swing and sipped his coffee. He looked hot in his white T-shirt, faded jeans, and wet hair.
“How was your date?” I asked when Josh was already halfway to the barn.
Kyle descended the porch stairs. “Disappointing. You told me she’d be naked under a fur coat, but she was wearing scrubs and smelled like dog urine. However, dinner was good, and she let Josh finger paint, so he instantly loved her.”
My face soured, so I glanced in the opposite direction as we followed Josh. “That’s great,” I mumbled in a tone opposite of great. “It’s not like she made him homemade applesauce,” I mumbled under my breath.
“What?”
I shook my head. “Nothing.”
“How was your date?” he asked.
“My what?”
“Your date. You said you couldn’t watch Josh last night because you had a date.”
“Oh, yeah. It was fine. Good. Maybe one of the best dates I’ve ever been on.” I should have stopped at fine, but jealousy made me reckless and a big liar.
“Sounds like it could be serious. Was it a first date?”
“Yeah.” I couldn’t look at him, so I watched my feet as we walked.
“A friend? Someone you graduated with?”
“Uh, no. He’s not from Devil’s Head. It was a blind date. He’s uh … he’s a lawyer.” I tugged at my lower lip after pulling that doozy out of my ass.
“Wow. You’re into older men, huh? How does your dad feel about that?”
“When I go places with older men, I don’t tell my dad.” I felt proud of my response, so I glanced at him with a sly grin.
I couldn’t read his expression. It wasn’t a real smile, more like a grimace.
“Hurry up!” Josh called, jumping up and down as he pointed to an old cabinet past the far end of the fishing boat in the barn.
“Why don’t you slow down?” Kyle said to him. “Hold this.” He handed me his coffee mug. “But don’t drink it all.” He smirked.
“Har har.”
He took the padlock off the cabinet and retrieved a big bow, a little one, and the arrows in a long tube.
“Do you let him shoot real arrows with sharp tips?” I asked.
“Tips? Yes. Razor tips? No.”
We carried everything out back where he had targets on hay bales. Kyle handed Josh his little bow and an arrow. Josh loaded it like Robin Hood and shot it at the closest target, hitting the bullseye.
My jaw dropped.
“See, Eve?” Josh pointed to his arrow and shrugged like it was no big deal.
I nodded slowly. “Wow! That’s incredible. You’re five?”
I didn’t know who looked more proud, Josh or his dad.
Ruffling his hair, I bent forward to nuzzle my face in his neck, making him giggle.
Kyle took the next shot with his bigger bow and hit a target much farther away, right in the bullseye as well.
“I’m outmatched. Maybe I should go back home and eat another waffle instead of embarrassing myself in front of you two.”
Kyle laughed, propping his bow against an old wood barrel before taking his coffee mug from my hands. “We’ll teach you.”
“Eve, watch me!”
I turned back toward Josh as he loaded another arrow and shot it. Then another. And another.
“We’re going to let him tire out while I finish my coffee, and then he’ll play with his tractors in the dirt while I teach you a new skill. Okay?”
I glanced over at him and nodded, not wanting to smile because I was still mad that he made Denise sound like Josh’s new hero. She let him play with paint. So what? It didn’t compare to applesauce.
“Are you okay?” he asked.
“Yeah. Why?” I focused on Josh.
“I don’t know. You seem less enthusiastic than usual.”
“Long night,” I mumbled, not meaning it to be anything more than a quick excuse, but when Kyle’s body stiffened, I realized he thought I was talking about my date with the imaginary lawyer.
Was he jealous? I relished that idea.
“Are you seeing Denise again?”
He narrowed his eyes, watching Josh. “Depends if she says the new toilet is leaking.”
“That’s not what I mean.”
“I know it’s not.” He set his coffee mug on the ground and helped Josh retrieve his arrows.
“I’m done.” Josh marched toward the barn. “I have to piss.” He grabbed his crotch.
I covered my mouth to muffle my laugh.
“Potty,” Kyle quickly corrected.
“Adam says piss,” Josh said.
“Adam’s a bad influence. Can you make it to the house?”
Josh shook his head a half dozen times.
“Then go in the grass.”
Josh pulled down his pants and underwear.
“Buddy, never in front of a lady. Go to the side of the barn.”
I snorted as Josh waddled off, mooning me the whole way.
Kyle returned with the arrows, slowly shaking his head.
I couldn’t hold my giggle in any longer.
“Don’t have kids until you’re ready to relinquish every last ounce of your dignity. Parenting is taking responsibility for another human’s actions for roughly eighteen years.”
“Bummer. That means I can no longer blame my actions on my parents.” I said.
“Correct.” He tried to give me a serious look, but the corners of his eyes crinkled like they were smiling.
“When he overflowed the toilet at my house, he yelled, ‘Oh, shit!’”
“God damn …” Kyle grumbled. “Of course he did.” He picked up his bow. “I lowered the tension on this for you last night. Hopefully, you have enough strength to pull it back.” He handed it to me, stepped behind me, and pressed his body to mine to show me how to hold it. “Don’t grip it with your entire hand. It’s going to rest here along the pad of your thumb. If it crosses the lifeline of your hand, your forearm will be in line with the string, and you’ll hit your arm, which will hurt. And you want to keep this area as relaxed as possible while pulling back.”
I wouldn’t remember a single word because my brain was focused on his body heat and his fingers brushing my hand to show me where to rest the bow.
“Don’t hold your breath. It will make you shake more. It’s about steadying your breath.”
My breath didn’t stand a chance of being steady in such close proximity to him.
“Are you nervous?” he mumbled with his lips at my ear. “I can feel your heart racing. I’m not going to let you kill anyone.”
With his help, I hit the first target on the edge.
“Good,” he said, releasing me and helping me set another arrow on the bow, tweaking my grip. “Now you try it on your own.”
I wanted to impress him, but I felt out of my league and weak like I did when I tried to start that boat engine. Of course, I missed the target by a lot.
“You held your breath, and you tensed up.”
“I didn’t try to.”
“I know. But you did, so this time, think about the steps, relax, breathe, and know that you’re not going to steady it perfectly over the target, but that’s okay. The target is a lot bigger than the arrow tip.”
I tried a third time. “I did it!” I turned, proud of myself for hitting the target.
Kyle’s grin swelled. “Good job.”
“Daddy, I'm going to get my tractors,” Josh said.
“Okay, buddy. They’re on the deck. Do you need help?”
“No.” He ran toward the house.
I shot a dozen or so arrows before my hands and fingers hurt.
“Let’s not overdo it.” He winked, taking it from me as I shook out my hands and massaged them.
“Can you hit the target every time?” I asked.
He attached his quiver and shot six arrows in a matter of seconds—all within fractions of an inch from each other.
“I guess you can,” I murmured.
His grin doubled as if he were trying to impress me rather than the other way around. Then, we retrieved the arrows together.
“Josh hasn’t made it back, which means he's using the flower beds as a play zone. I’d better get back.”
I nodded, following him into the barn.
“Does your dad hunt?” I asked.
He returned the bows and arrows to the cabinet. “Yes. My mom said they wouldn't still be married if he didn’t take hunting trips.”
I laughed.
“Do you eat what you kill?”
“Yes, most of the time.”
“So you’ve eaten bear meat?”
He locked the cabinet and turned. “No. I don’t hunt bears.”
I tucked my thumbs in my front pockets and rocked back and forth on my heels. “Thanks for showing me how to shoot today.”
Kyle eyed me, and I felt his gaze as tangible as if his hands were on my body. And I couldn’t help but wonder if I was delusional. Did he look at me like a child? It didn’t feel like that.
“Who set you up with an attorney from another town?”
I stopped my rocking.
“Or did you lie because you didn’t want to watch Josh?”
I shook my head. “I like Josh.”
“That’s not what I asked. You can like Josh and not want to watch him.”
“Speaking of watching Josh, we should get back to the house.” I turned.
“I can pay you and teach you how to do things. I feel like I’m taking advantage of you,” he said.
“It’s not that.” I walked around the boat toward the front barn door.
“Then what is it?”
I stopped, closing my eyes. “I told you I had a date last night because you were having dinner with Denise.”
“That makes no sense. Is it because she’s not on your list of approved dates for me?”
I was delusional. He didn’t think of me as anything beyond the girl next door and maybe a friend. “No.” I shook my head without turning toward him. “She’s not on my list of approved dates for you. But you don’t need my approval. And I don’t know why I lied. I thought … well, I don’t know. Just never mind.”
“What did you think?”
I rubbed my eyes. “Let’s not talk about it because it’s embarrassing, and I don’t want things to be weird between us.”
He stepped in front of me, blocking the door and forcing me to look at him in the dim light from the hanging bulb above us.
I rolled my eyes, feeling flushed from my face to my toes. “For a moment when we were on the dock the other night, I thought you were looking at me like …” I laughed a little, fidgeting with the hem of my shirt.
“Like what?”
“Like you liked me.” I pushed him out of the way and marched out the door to distance myself from his scrutinizing gaze that embarrassed me.
“I do like you.” He followed me.
“You don’t get it.” I lengthened my strides.
“I do get it.”
When I no longer heard his boots scuffing through the dirt behind me, I stopped and glanced over my shoulder.
“I do get it,” he repeated, scraping his teeth along his lower lip several times. “And it’s fun. Liking you is fun. Everything about you is fun and refreshing. Eve, women like you”—he smirked—“not that there’s anyone else like you, bring men like me to our knees. But,” he chuckled, shaking his head, “I have grown-up responsibilities, including a child. So my fun needs to be safer than liking my brother’s best friend’s eighteen-year-old daughter.”
His words shot through my veins, and I felt powerful. “I can bring you to your knees?” My smile lost all control.
He veered off toward the house. “Let’s not find out. I’ll see you at church tomorrow, where getting on my knees is pleasing to God … and Pastor Jacobson.”
Not find out? Was he crazy? Oh, we were going to find out.