Chapter 6
Avery couldn’t believeshe had brushed over Shane’s crotch. It had genuinely been an accident. He hadn’t reacted at all, but her cheeks were burning, and she figured she should just be grateful that her embarrassment was hidden under a helmet. But really, why was she embarrassed? It was an accident. Not a play for his penis.
She wondered what his cock looked like. Since Ben was the only man she had dated, and she’d never seen him entirely naked, she had very little to draw from, but she couldn’t imagine that Shane would be lacking. That seemed like too much of a cruel twist of fate, for a man so good looking to have a pinky penis. Then again, was small really that bad? It wasn’t like she actually knew. Maybe it was better to start small and work her way up.
Then she mentally gave herself a face palm. She shouldn’t be thinking about the man’s body parts. It was just none of her business, even if a small secret part of her wanted it to be. He was in the middle of conducting a random act of kindness and she was contemplating what his junk looked like. What she should be thinking about was what the heck she was going to do now that she had nowhere to live. No job. No car. Oh, and no boyfriend, and no friends in Nashville.
That sobered her. Closing her eyes for a minute, she breathed in deeply and let her head drift back, the weight of the helmet aiding her movement. She forced herself to relax, to not stress out. What was important was that she knew the truth. She wasn’t going to waste another minute with a man who thought so little of her he would lie to her and disrespect her. Her throat tightened and she forced it back open, breathing through her nose. It hurt. God, it hurt. She felt betrayed in the most elemental way possible, but also disappointed in herself. Why hadn’t she seen that Ben was a sneak and a dirty dog?
Though if she was honest with herself she’d been more in love with the idea of moving to Nashville than in love with Ben.
She had also been too concerned with maintaining an ideal of celibacy that she hadn’t believed in for years. She was grateful that she hadn’t lost her virginity when she was too young to know herself and what she wanted. Also that it hadn’t been Ben, who had obviously thought so little of her. Now though, she wanted to make a clean break. Not wallow in hurt and anger. Just move on. Let the wind blow her past off of her so she could start fresh.
It was almost funny when she thought about it. After eight years of never doing anything remotely crazy, determined to not get into any scrapes, she’d wound up in a mess anyway. Being Ben’s perfect girlfriend had gotten her exactly nothing. Now here she was on the back of a bike with a man she didn’t even know, yet she felt totally at ease with him. If he hadn’t shown up, she wasn’t sure what she would have done. Borrowed a phone in the diner? Waited for Ben, gotten her purse, cried herself to sleep in her hotel. She didn’t feel like crying anymore, though she couldn’t guarantee that would hold. She might be sobbing later for all she knew, especially when reality set in.
She wasn’t going home to Kentucky. That wasn’t going to happen. She would only do that if she were completely homeless, out of money, starving. She had enough money saved to find a place with a roommate, and surely in a tourist town there would be a job waitressing or in retail. She would be fine. So she relaxed her shoulders, gripped Shane tighter, and reached for peace. Practical matters weren’t the issue. Her heart was going to take some time to sort out because mostly she was mad at herself for not listening to her own wants and desires.
Shane pulled in front of a large brick building and she realized it was the hotel she had booked. The one she had thought might impress Ben. She pictured the way Shane had looked at Ben, like he was a bug beneath his boot, and thought about why she had been attracted to Ben. Maybe it wouldn’t make sense to someone else, but she had cared about Ben ever since he had reached his hand out and picked her up out of the dirt after a boy had shoved her down in the seventh grade.
When had Ben become the one who shoved her down though? She wasn’t sure, and she was angry and sad with herself for not realizing it. The shift had been subtle, but she shouldn’t have been so focused on getting herself to Nashville that she ignored the difference in the way Ben treated her, all the changes.
She released her grip on Shane as he parked the bike in front of the entrance to the hotel. This was it. She would never see him again—and that made her feel a serious pang of regret. He had been kind and hadn’t asked anything in return. She watched him climb off the bike as she lifted the helmet off over her head. Her hair got caught and fell across her face, blocking her view. His large hands gently brushed the strands back, until she could see his smile looking down at her.
“We’re here.”
“Yeah.” She looked behind him, not moving. “It looks nice.”
“Yeah.” He took the helmet from her, and set it down on the seat. “Let me walk you inside.”
She didn’t even have it in her to protest. She wanted to savor a last few lingering minutes with him because she didn’t want to be alone with her thoughts. If she were honest with herself, it was also because she found him sexy as hell and fascinating. A man who understood who he was and his place in this big crazy-ass world. What would it feel like to be made love to by a man like that? A man who knew where to touch, how to please, how to treat a woman?
It didn’t matter that she had told herself she couldn’t be thinking about Shane that way. It was a natural reaction to the night. To want to forget, to get lost in the embrace of a hot, muscular man. To pretend that her life hadn’t just been thoroughly shoved off course.
“Thanks.” She slipped her left leg over, trying not to flash him, but she likely didn’t entirely succeed given the way his eyes darted down to her inner thigh. She refused to be embarrassed. It was the only way to get off the bike. Resting her boots on the tire, she sat there for a second facing toward him, wondering what she should say. There really wasn’t a thank you adequate enough for someone stepping in when you were in potential danger and giving you a hand.
To her surprise, he cupped her cheeks. The tender touch made her heart ache. She had so much to give, and no one to give it to. That didn’t feel fair at all. His gaze darted down to her mouth and for a second she thought he was actually going to kiss her. When he didn’t, she felt like crying and hated herself for it. That’s why he shouldn’t kiss her, despite whatever desire his gaze created in her. She needed too much right now. More than a stranger on the streets of Nashville could provide.
“Such a pretty girl,” he murmured. “Ben is a fucking idiot.”
It wasn’t all that she wanted, but it was enough. She appreciated his words tremendously. “I can only agree with you on that.” Then she smiled at him, enjoying the perspective that came with almost being the same height as he was. “But let’s not talk about him anymore. It’s over and done and we both have better things to do.”
“Like what?” His thumb stroked over her bottom lip and his eyes darkened into inky pools.
She shivered and it wasn’t from cold. The night was still warm. It was the way he looked at her… Avery felt an ache everywhere. Not just the emotional one. But the physical one as well. She ached deep inside for the fulfillment Ben never could or never would give her. Her nipples were tight, painful buds begging for a man’s touch. That clenching in her belly drove her to distraction, made her want to throw caution far off into the wind, do things she’d never done.
It was that deep, driving desire that had her saying without any hesitation or reservation, “You can kiss me.”
The words were out before she could take them back. Not that she would.
If he was sympathetic but turned her down, she would feel rejected, but she would get over it. This wasn’t about him and what he thought. It was about her.
Shane didn’t say anything though. He just leaned in, narrowing the space between them inch by painful inch until his mouth hovered over hers. He smelled like cologne, but it was subtle. Mostly he smelled like the man he was, though she wasn’t entirely sure what she meant by that. Just that he crowded her space, filled it, encapsulated her, and he hadn’t even done anything. It was just his presence. He dominated by existing, and she thought it was sexy as hell. Exciting. His hands were still on her cheeks and, finally, after the longest moment of anticipation ever, he brushed his lips over hers.
She’d kissed a few boys before Ben, but not many and she should have felt nervous, but instead she embraced the change, the newness, the heady sensation that Shane was a grown man.
It was a sweet, kind kiss, not a questing one. It was soft, gentle.
It was nicer than it should be. Nicer than she wanted it to be.
“Girl, you’re as sweet as sugar and twice as sexy,” he murmured.
“More,” she told him. “Please.”
When she kissed him back, she wrapped her fingers around the small of his back and pulled his body closer to her so that his hips bumped against her thighs. She closed her eyes, dropped her head back, and opened her mouth for him in invitation. For a brief second, the kiss deepened, got just a little dirty as his tongue plunged in between her open lips and she was there for it, giving into the moment, to him, to a new and exciting future.
But then he suddenly pulled back.
“Avery.” His voice was husky, his fingers sliding back into her hair and pulling gently so her lips were out of his reach.
“Yes?” The look on his face pleased her more than it should. He appeared to be locked in a battle with his desire. As though he wanted to do the right thing by walking away, but it was difficult. It gave her confidence. As did the hardness of his cock brushing against her leg. There was no mistaking that he wanted her.
If he left right now, the kiss would still be enough. It would soothe her battered ego.
But he didn’t walk away. “I don’t want you to do anything you regret.”
“I don’t plan to.” She didn’t. She was finished regretting what she had or hadn’t done. The night felt endless, the world she grew up in a million miles away. She felt equally fragile and strong. She was ready to feel everything she had ever missed, everything she had ever craved and talked herself out of.
“Fuck.” His grip in her hair tightened. “I’m taking you in to the front desk for check-in and I’m giving you that time to change your mind.”
She sucked in a breath. He looked tortured, wild. Like he wanted nothing more than to fuck her. This was not a man who would go upstairs and cuddle her, plant a few kisses on her. If she let him upstairs, it would lead to sex. Full on.
She thought about it.
If she wanted to just make out, they should stay outside and leave it here.
Was that what she wanted?
The answer to that was a resounding hell no. She didn’t want a kiss and cuddle. She didn’t want to hit the brakes. She wanted everything with Shane. Now.
She was going to give him the green light. She wanted this. She wanted him, all of him. Inside of her. Showing her everything she’d missed out on all these years.
“I’m not going to change my mind. I want you to come upstairs with me.”
He stepped back, his hands stroking down over her shoulders, before settling on her waist. Then he effortlessly picked her up and dropped her feet down onto the street and their bodies were close, pressed together in any number of places before he shifted back. “When you look at me like that, I don’t want to comfort you, do you understand that?”
She did. She also understood what she was encouraging, agreeing to. “I don’t want comforting. You ain’t my mama.”
The tears could be cried on the phone with her mother and her best friend from back home, later. Not right now. Tonight she just wanted to be a woman that a man like Shane wanted.
He made a strangled sound in the back of his throat. “You got that right.” He took her hand in his and added, “Unless you find orgasms comforting. Because I’m about to give you more than one.”
There it was. No beating around the bush. Avery felt her eyes get wide. “I suppose they could be under the right circumstances. I’m looking forward to finding out.”
He smiled, and it was a panty-melting, doubt-shattering, wicked, bad-boy smirk. “Then be prepared to be really comforted.”
Avery didn’t even think about hesitating. This was going to be a night that she would be talking about in the nursing home in seventy years. The night she found out her hometown boyfriend cheated and she was saved by a sexy stranger named Shane.
At the very least, it was the perfect material for a country song, and she was a songwriter. This could be her personal platinum.
So she repeated the words she’d spoken earlier, only now she said them with intent. “Then show me where to hop on and what to hold.”
His head tilted and he gave a soft laugh. “Girl, you’re fucking killing me. Now let’s walk before I do things to you on this bike that are illegal.”