Shane didn’t considerhimself a man who did stupid things. He was always in control so that he didn’t make dumb-ass choices. He knew he wasn’t cut out for a relationship, so he chose women who weren’t looking for that either. So honestly, he couldn’t explain what in the hell he thought he was doing as he marched Avery across the lobby of the Union Station Hotel. It was a former railroad station that had been converted into a hotel and under normal circumstances he might have paused to appreciate the beautiful architecture, but now he was just dragging the poor girl over to the front desk.
His attraction for her was jumbled and unfamiliar. It was the need to see her safe, the desire to make her smile, the tug of his own hot burning arousal. It was a lot of things that as far as he was concerned didn’t belong together, but were. Which made it dangerous. But unless Avery told him to buzz the fuck off, he wasn’t going anywhere. He had to see this through to the end, figure out what it was, why he was feeling such an unbidden pull towards her. He always confronted his confusion head-on. He owned his feelings. Was honest with himself, if not necessarily the people in his life. Not that he was a liar—he was nothing like Ben. But he didn’t reveal all the interior details of his head.
So he wasn’t going to share with Avery that he felt drawn to her in a way that he hadn’t experienced in a very long time. Maybe it was because she made him think of the girl back in high school. Maybe it was because Avery seemed so alone. Well, that might explain wanting to help her, but it didn’t explain the need to bury himself inside her, though he supposed he could chalk that up to ordinary lust. It had been a few months since he’d been with a woman. Maybe it was just his dick protesting the hiatus. Forcing him to address the base need.
But he knew it was more than that. It was just her. There was something about Avery.
Whatever it all was it had him hauling Avery to the front desk and parking her right in front of the desk clerk. “We’re checking in,” he said firmly.
Avery cleared her throat and said, “Avery O’Leery, please. I have a reservation.”
He mentally filed away her last name.
“Thank you for joining us, Miss O’Leery. Was everything okay this evening? We expected you here earlier,” the desk clerk said. He was in his fifties, soft-spoken, suave.
It sounded like a script. Just what he was supposed to say. But Avery stammered a little, over-explaining. “My flight was really delayed,” she said. “And they lost my luggage. That’s why I don’t have any. So just a long night, but nothing too horrible.” She gave a nervous laugh. She wasn’t a skilled liar and the story was too elaborate and far from the truth.
Shane put his hand on the small of her back to reassure her, calm her down. She had no reason to be nervous. If anything, he was the one who felt like an ass. It looked like he’d let his girlfriend pay for his hotel room and that galled him, but he restrained himself from making up some bullshit excuse. At the end of the day he didn’t give a shit what the clerk thought, and he couldn’t give the guy his name anyway, because he didn’t want it to get out there as gossip. Producer’s latest score, or some such shit like that. He wouldn’t want that to happen to Avery.
“Well, we hope you’ll enjoy your stay here despite the rocky start.” The clerk pushed up his glasses and smiled the bland smile of a man forced to be polite at nearly four in the morning. Shane had to admire his demeanor.
Avery showed the clerk her credit card, they received the keys, and then they were on their way to the elevators. He shouldn’t say anything, because it wasn’t his business, but he couldn’t stop myself. “You don’t need to explain yourself like that, you know. Making up excuses. It’s none of that guy’s business. It’s his job to stay neutral.”
“You don’t understand. You’re a man. No one cares what you do.”
That surprised him a little, but he realized she probably did have a point. His sister, Jolene, put on five pounds and the critics tore into her, yet no one seemed to care when a man was as round as a suckling pig. But that didn’t mean you had to tolerate it. “True. But I don’t think you should care either. This isn’t small-town Kentucky. You’re free to live your life as you choose.”
The elevator doors opened and she stepped inside and turned to look at him. “I know that, Shane. That’s why I’m letting you come up to my room. Because I want to live my life as I choose. Tonight I choose you.”
His dick hardened and he took a step forward. “I’m honored. But are you sure?” He slapped his hand over the elevator door to keep it from closing. He had one foot in, one foot out. He didn’t want to sway her in any way. The decision had to be hers. He would leave if she was not positive about this.
But she nodded, tucking her hair behind her ear. She looked up at him from under thick lashes, her expression both shy and seductive. It was a deadly combination. The sexual come hither of a sweet woman. Was there anything hotter? He didn’t think so.
“I’m absolutely sure. I’ve never been more sure in my life.” Her voice was sweet, but strong. Certain.
That was all he needed to hear.
“Then sweet girl, come here.” He stepped forward and released the door. It closed quickly behind him.
He reached out and drew his finger across the line her purse was making between her breasts.
Avery tentatively reached out and closed her fingers around his bicep.
“What floor?” he asked her.
“Three.”
He reached behind him and hit the button.
Then he leaned over and brushed her hair off of her ear. “I can’t wait to taste your pussy.”
The elevator shuddered at the same time Avery did. She didn’t speak but she flicked her tongue across her bottom lip. He bent down and followed the same path with his own tongue. She was trembling, leaning in, closing the space between them.
“I want that,” she whispered. “So much.”
“I’ll give you everything you want.”
The door opened and he gestured for her to go before him. Avery did, glancing at him over her shoulder as she walked, her tongue dragging across her bottom lip again. God, she had no idea what that did to him.
“Do you have condoms?” he asked, because he only had one emergency foil packet in his wallet. He had a feeling that wasn’t going to be enough for either of them. The hallway was quiet and he kept his voice low, conscious of the fact that it was four in the morning and most guests were probably asleep.
She followed his cue and whispered. “Yes.” She tapped her purse.
He didn’t want to think about her opening herself for that idiot Ben. Or going down on him. It made his nose twitch and his fists clench. He was going to make sure by the time she fell asleep, she forgot she had ever wasted damn near a decade of her life on that prick. “Good.” Then he held his hand out for the key.
“What?” she asked, staring blankly at his open palm.
“The key. I’m going to open the door for you.” Like any man raised right would.
“Oh, okay.” She seemed curious. “But…why?”
“It’s polite.” He frowned, angry all over again at the way she had obviously been treated by her now ex-boyfriend. “Key, please.”
She handed it to him, her teeth sinking into her bottom lip. “Here. Do you think the clerk thought—
He cut her off, putting his fingers across her mouth gently. “I don’t think he thought. I think he knew. Just like I know.”
“What do you know?” she asked, her words muffled behind his fingers. “Because I know what I know but not what you know.”
Shane chuckled. “I’ll tell you what I know.” He shifted his fingers into her hair, and with his free hand, gripped her narrow waist. Moving into her personal space, he forced her back against the door to the hotel room. He gave her a deep, erotic kiss that had her gasping in surprise. He pulled back and stared into her gorgeous eyes. “I’m going to worship you from your head on down to your toes and then I’m going to make my way back up to the top again, stopping everywhere along the way.”
Her mouth formed a perfect “o.” “If you want,” she said in a soft, breathy voice.
Damn, she was cute. “I want.” For a brief second, he pressed his lips into her hair, breathing in her scent. Then he pulled back before he did things to her in the hallway he shouldn’t.
By all accounts, he should be sleeping right now. He should be at the very least tired, but he wasn’t. He felt wired, wide awake, extremely alert. Opening the door, he held it against the wall so she could pass into the room. The room was cool, hushed. Avery shivered. “Do you want me to turn the air down?” he asked.
She nodded, and he could see that she was nervous. Rubbing her arms together, she avoided his gaze, glancing around the room. There was a big king-size bed and a desk in the corner. She took her purse off over her head and dropped it onto the desk. “I guess I should take a shower,” she said, sitting down in the desk chair and bending over to start to tug at her cowboy boots.
“If you want.” To him that seemed like an avoidance tactic. Like she was delaying the eventuality, and that made him concerned she didn’t really want him there. He found the thermostat and turned the temperature up. “Or you could wait and take one in a little while.”
“I mean, you’re not going to want to… do things unless I’m clean.”
Shane sat on the bed across from her and bent forward, his arms on his thighs, so he could study her. There was color in her cheeks but she wasn’t looking at him. “That doesn’t matter to me.”
It didn’t. He wasn’t offended by the natural scent of a woman’s body. It was sensual to him. He didn’t mind fresh from the shower either, obviously, but he actually didn’t like lotions and body washes. “A pussy isn’t supposed to smell like gardenias. It’s supposed to smell like a woman. Like sweet arousal. Like sex. Like skin and dampness. But I don’t want her to be uncomfortable. Whatever you need.”
He did want to at least feel her body up against him before she disappeared into the shower. And before she took those boots off. He was having sexy thoughts about those boots on his shoulders while he sank into her warm heat. So he put his hands on her knees, startling her. When she glanced up at him in question, he spread her knees apart, pulling the rolling chair towards him. Her dress rose on her thighs and he caressed her knees, her thighs, studying her face, committing it to memory.
He wanted to remember this. All of her.
He closed the distance between them and kissed her softly, teasingly, flicking his tongue over her bottom lip.
Avery briefly tried to close her legs, but his feet and knees prevented it. Then she drew a deep breath and nodded, like she was convincing herself. He eased his grip on her thighs. She was breathing rapidly, her chest rising up and down.
“Do I make you uncomfortable?” he murmured, sliding his lips down her jaw, into her neck, until he reached the collar of her dress. He moved back up again, so that he could kiss her mouth.
“No, that’s not it. I want this. I want you.” She opened her palm onto his chest, like she was putting a barrier between them.
He understood that. This was an unusual role for him. He had to be both the leader and the follower. “You’re nervous?”
She nodded. “I have been with Ben for eight years, like I said before.” Then she made a face. “I’m sorry. I don’t want to talk about him. But I can’t help it. I don’t know how to act.”
It was a challenge, one he was determined to rise to. He wasn’t going to fail her. But the question of how to relax her was a new one. Normally, the women he went to bed with were eager, experienced, ready to get down with the get down. He cast his thoughts back to high school, to being seventeen and gently coaxing Rhodie Masters into letting him get her naked. How had he calmed those nerves?
He had held her in his arms. Made her feel special.
Lots of women had thought they wanted and needed his company but he had been a whole lot of nothing to them. An hour of pleasant body rubbing, nothing more. Avery’s need was deeper, more emotional. It wasn’t just physical. She wanted validation, a companion in the dark lonely room. She needed to feel sexy. Which she was. Damn it all to hell, she was sexy.
“You just need to be yourself. Because you’re pretty fucking amazing.”
Then he did something that was usually never a part of his repertoire. He reached out and tugged Avery over onto his lap. She didn’t resist, and she settled onto his thighs easily, lithe and in a whisper of white lace. Her hair fell forward and she shook it back as she wrapped her arms around his neck for balance. An ache he didn’t understand formed a tight fist in his chest and he kissed her. He kissed her from that place of need, from the realization that she wasn’t the only one who needed this. That maybe he had spent too long keeping people distant. He was craving an authentic connection, however brief.
He never let himself feel anything.
And tonight, here, with this slip of a girl, who was both sweet and strong, he wanted to feel something.
Avery sighed, her mouth opening for his tongue. He swept it over hers, tasting her, before pulling back. Their lips fit together easily, without awkwardness, and he pressed his to hers over and over, enjoying the slow pace, the sweetness of it. There was nothing heavy about her, and he liked the sensation of her small tight ass resting lightly on him and the way her breasts occasionally brushed against his chest.
Shane thought about what would be the right words to say to Avery, but then he decided she didn’t need words. She wouldn’t want words. What could he say to her? He could tell her she was beautiful again, but she’d probably protest. He could offer compliments about her body, announce how or why he wanted her, but that was for women who were flirts. Or for a woman who was his. He and Avery were borrowing each other, indulging in intimacy they clearly both needed and he didn’t want to come off as trite or as the guy tossing out canned lines.
So he said nothing. He just kissed her again and again, until she lost the stiffness in her shoulders. Until she sighed in contentment and shifted closer to him. Until her fingers crawled up his neck and gripped the back of his head, like she wanted to ensure he didn’t escape. She felt amazing in his hold, every touch further sparking the desire he felt. There was nothing planned or rehearsed. He just kept rolling with what felt right, and just keeping her there, on his lap, while he worshiped her lips, was what made the most sense to him.
He had no clue how long it was before he brushed his thumbs over her nipples, but it was long enough that she didn’t jerk away or stiffen up. She moaned, in the back of her throat, and it was quite possibly one of the most satisfying sounds he’d ever heard. It made him wrap his arm around her more firmly and draw her down onto the mattress. He wanted to allow himself a vertical embrace, to have them face to face, equals, as they lay on their sides, a tangle of limbs.
She pulled back and looked at him, her eyes glassy and filled with desire. “How old are you?” she suddenly asked.
He wasn’t sure it mattered, but he didn’t mind answering. “Twenty-nine. I’ll be thirty in October.”
Her only response was a nod, like that confirmed what she suspected. What that was, he could only speculate. But then her gaze darted to his arm, and she carefully raised the sleeve of his T-shirt. “I was wondering what your tattoo was. It’s pretty.”
Most men didn’t want their tat being labeled pretty but he didn’t care if Avery did. He considered it artwork, not a huge personal statement of his toughness. He had chosen the intricate mosaic of tree branches over a skull or other badass ink for a simple reason. “It represents a moral code. Live your life with honor and integrity. Don’t be an asshole.” He did believe he achieved that most of the time. When he didn’t, his tattoo was a reminder.
That code was also the reason he chose to stay out of relationships. He wasn’t sure he could live up to someone relying on him day in and day out to do the right thing. He didn’t want to undertake something he might fail at. That was his personal integrity, and he could admit that his childhood had messed up his ability to get close to someone, intimate. To trust them. His mother had trusted his father. Shane had trusted his mother. And they had both gotten hurt, repeatedly, by Billy Hart.
“Do you have any ink?” he asked Avery.
“No.” She shrugged. “I haven’t thought of anything I would want to commit to.”
Shane ran his hand up her arm, under the wide sleeve of her lace dress. “Your skin is perfect. I have no opinion on other people’s tattoos other than to say everyone should do what makes them happy. But you do have really gorgeous skin. It’s like rose petals, soft and pristine.” It might sound like a line, but he stood by what he said. Touching her skin was like skimming the softest sheets.
“Thank you. I like what your tattoo stands for,” she said, running her fingers over the branches climbing up to his shoulder. “I think you’re a good man. I could be wrong, but I don’t think so.”
That amused him. She was a forthright little thing. He had no interest in debating who he was or wasn’t though. Without responding, he just reached behind him and tugged at his collar until his shirt came up off over his head. She had to shift her left arm for him to move it out of the way and she ended up with both of her hands on his biceps, gripping him lightly. Her eyes widened as she ran them over his chest and abs.
“Good Lord, you’re hot,” she blurted.
He was pretty sure that was the most genuine compliment he’d gotten in a good long while. “Thank you. The same holds true for you, Avery.” He reached around to her back and inched her dress up until it shifted completely up around her hips. He couldn’t see anything other than a whole lot of leg because of the way it had bunched between her thighs, but it was enough to make his mouth water. To entice him to explore what else was under there.
He rolled her onto her back on the bed and kissed her, immediately teasing his tongue between her lips. His hand caressed up the delicate skin of her thigh and eased under her short dress. He stroked the front of her panties lightly, just skimming the surface, before shifting away again. Her hips lifted, seeking his touch again. He didn’t comply, just stroking back and forth over her leg, sometimes letting his thumb brush over her clitoris. Her breathing changed, grew a little ragged, and their kisses got deeper, more urgent. Her nails dug into his arms.
The panties she was wearing were also white lace, but not see-through. There was something very virginal about them, and he decided he didn’t want them on her anymore. There was something too youthful about the look on her pale skin and she was all woman. She kept her hands on his arms, and she was letting him dictate every move.
He peeled the panties down, a little roughly. She gasped, her eyes widening. He realized the sound was one of pleasure. She liked his sudden dominant move. Shane got even harder, his cock pressing aggressively against his jeans. He stroked a finger between her red curls and into her moist heat. He was glad she wasn’t completely bare. It seemed more fitting for her, more natural.
Then because he wanted to, he bent his head down and buried his mouth in her sweetness. Damn, she tasted good. She yelped, her legs closing together on his head, boxing his ears. It made his head ring and he pulled back to shake it, looking at her in confusion. “You don’t like that?” If it wasn’t her thing, he wasn’t going to push her.
“I don’t know,” she said softly.
He just stared at her blankly. He wasn’t sure what she meant. “What do you mean?”
She looked up at the ceiling, blowing hair off her lip. “I can’t really say as that’s never been done to me.”
It still took him a second. He couldn’t process the idea that after eight years with a dude, she hadn’t been on the receiving end of oral sex. “Your boyfriend never ate your pussy?” he asked, stunned. “Why not?”
Avery made a sound of mortification, crossing her legs at the knees and clamping her thighs together. “He said it’s not… good.”
Oh, hell, no. “That’s fucked up. There is nothing unclean about it. It’s perfectly natural.” He was outraged and he wished he had punched Ben when he had the chance. Now he understood the shower thing too. She thought she had to be squeaky clean to fool around because that’s what her ex had required. And the selfish prick still hadn’t even gone down on her. So what the fuck was the shower all about? The guy sounded out there and Avery hadn’t ever known any better because he was all she’d known.
“Relax your legs,” he commanded. “Just let your knees fall apart.”
She looked agonized. “I want to. I do. But it feels so exposed.”
He’d work around it, then. “Just close your eyes, Avery. Rest your head back.”
Even with her thighs clamped together, he still could maneuver his tongue over her, teasing his way in. He was slow, steady, determined, using every ounce of skill he had acquired over a dozen-plus years of satisfying women. There was something to be said for all his experience. He needed every ounce of patience, technique, and dedication to get Avery to sink into the mattress and feel the pleasure he could give her.
After she inch by agonizing inch dropped her knees open, allowing him greater access to her, Shane felt triumphant, turned on. Fuck, she was sexy. She didn’t know what she would like, she was scared, she had no reason to trust him. Yet she was going for it. Their bodies grew warm, her breath anxious, eager. He felt like a goddamn savant, coaxing out his masterpiece. Avery started to moan, her shuddery sighs swelling into full-out ecstasy. Glancing up, he could see that her back was arched, and her chin had lifted.
That’s what he had been waiting for. He plunged his tongue deep inside her heat.