Chapter Thirty-One
Roxy
S aturday dawns with Chris lightly shaking me from sleep.
“Hey, you.” When I wipe the sleep from my eyes and sit up, he smiles down at me. “Want to go see the sunrise?”
I leave a note for Axel on the counter, then we’re off on Chris’s teal bike, the one I love so much. Leaning into the wind, winding down roads that lead out of town, we’re completely in sync. I tighten my hands around his waist and relish the moment for what it is—a keepsake I’ll always get to hold in my heart and mind. That feeling of freedom steals over me again, bringing peace to my soul.
Another bike zooms in from the side, and the comm in my helmet. “Hey, love birds.”
Holt.
I smile and wave while Chris says a quick hello.
Another bike comes in from behind, then another. “Hey, fam,” Chantelle chimes. “Got my backpack with me this morning; hope that’s okay.”
“Jude.” Chris nods toward her rider. “Always a pleasure.” Jude offers him a salute as she speeds ahead to take the lead.
I recognize Des as the other rider to our right. He hangs behind Holt, silent as usual.
“Where are Cai and Thor?” I ask, my curiosity getting the best of me.
“They’re meeting us there,” Holt’s deep voice sounds in my ear.
“Where is there?”
Chris pats my thigh and squeezes. “You’ll see.”
Soon, we’re on a familiar road, the one we came to the day we got married. Excitement fizzes beneath my skin at getting to stand in the same spot as before while looking out at the sunrise.
By the time we reach the turnoff and park, Thor and Cai are already there. The sky is still dusky, drenching all of Denver in moody, jewel-toned hues. The city lights seem to sparkle, winking at us from below. No one says a word as each of us settles in to enjoy the view.
Jude and Chantelle lower to the ground, and he wraps one arm around her back. The other guys all group together, seemingly enjoying the relaxing moment. I’m about to join them when Chris grabs my waist. “Stay back with me?”
His slight smirk and twinkly blue eyes reel me in. I allow him to pull me back between his legs as he leans on the seat of his bike. His strong arms envelop me from behind as his chin rests on my shoulder. I run my hands down his forearms, dragging my nails lightly over his skin. A deep hum rumbles through his chest at the contact.
“I’ve never seen a more beautiful sight,” he murmurs only loud enough for me to hear.
“Same.”
So lightly it barely registers as a touch, his lips brush my ear. “I wasn’t talking about the sunrise.”
Goosebumps erupt all down my arms. I close my eyes and let his words wash over me. I shouldn’t, knowing this could all end eventually. But just for a little while, I convince myself that it’s real. That he could be telling me the truth and not putting on a show for his friends.
If only...
Back at Chris’s penthouse, he makes us a pancake breakfast. Eventually, a bleary-eyed Axel wanders out of his bedroom to join us. As he’s stuffing his mouth with pancakes, Chris asks, “How about another lesson today? This time, out of the garage.”
Axel stops mid-chew. “Fo weal?”
Christian laughs, but I send Axel a hard look. “Don’t talk with your mouth full.”
He swallows immediately. “When?”
Chris’s wide grin says he’s more than pleased with Axel’s enthusiasm. “As soon as you’re done eating. We’ll load up the bike in my truck and take it to an abandoned parking lot I know of. It’s the perfect place to break you in on your baby.” I can’t hold back my unladylike snort. Axel’s been referring to his new motorcycle as his baby since the day Christian gave it to him.
“Dude, that’d be awesome. I’ll get ready right now.” He hops up from the table and flies down the hall with so much excitement, I don’t even have the heart to call him back to take care of his plate.
“Sometimes I don’t think you know what you unleashed when you got him that thing.”
Chris scoffs and walks our dishes to the sink. “Sometimes I think you underestimate my level of genius.”
I saunter over, leaning a hip against the counter as he rinses off our dishes. “Ah, so it’s true. You were just trying to buy his love.”
“I mean, if it’s working—”
I swat him in the stomach, and he sprays me with the water. “Eek!” I screech, trying to move away. One of his strong arms holds me captive against his chest. “Beg for mercy, Rox, or I’m never letting you go.”
I kick my legs, letting him take my full weight. But that was a mistake. He scoops me up faster than I can blink and tosses me over his shoulder.
“You’re no match for me, wife. It’s obey or get tickled until you pee your pants.”
I stiffen and grip his back muscles. “You. Wouldn’t. Dare.”
I feel his hand hover over my side. “Wouldn’t I?” The laughter in his voice reduces me to giggles all over again.
“Christian!”
Without even a warning laugh, he mercilessly tickles my side until I can’t breathe. “Stop! Please—” Tears leak from my eyes. “Fine, okay, you win! Mercy!”
He drops me down in front of him, breathless from laughing too. “’Bout time you learned who’s boss in this marriage.”
I brush aside the hair dangling in my face as he adjusts his glasses. I instantly realize he hasn’t let me go. His right hand joins his left so they rest possessively on my waist, fingers curling into my shirt. “Is that what this about? Asserting dominance?” I arch an eyebrow, still unable to keep the laughter from my voice.
“Well.” He tilts his head side to side. “I might’ve been able to buy Axel’s love, but it hasn’t worked so well in your case. I’ve decided to try the caveman tactic. From now on, you’re mine and that’s that.” His eyes dance with mirth at his joke, but my brain is stuck on his word usage.
Love. Mine.
He didn’t mean that to sound like it did, though, right? He’s only joking.
I step out of his arms. “You’ve already won me over, Chris.” I force my tone to stay light, teasing.
“Have I?” All previous humor vanishes from his expression. His deeply furrowed brow makes me think he’s genuinely asking.
“I’m ready,” Axel huffs, bounding into the kitchen. I jump further away from Chris, but of course, Axel notices. “Are... you ready?”
“Yeah.” Chris runs a hand through his hair and smiles. “Let’s go.”
Before he leaves the kitchen, he leans down and whispers, “We’ll pick up where we left off later.” Then he kisses my cheek and he’s gone, leaving me to wonder what exactly he meant by that.
An hour later, I’m slumped in a cocoon of blankets on Chris’s couch, surrounded by snacks and drinks while I immerse myself in Chantelle’s—er, Evie Chandler’s—latest novel. The suspense is killing me. And so are these hot biker boys she keeps writing about. Who knew sweet romance could be so... sexy ?
The doorbell rings, sending my bowl of popcorn flying. I wince and hurry to scoop up what I can of the popped kernels, then hustle toward the door. I nearly jump out of my skin when Mr. Price’s face comes into view through the peephole.
I lean against the door and will my racing heart to chill. I have no idea what to do, but not opening the door feels like the wrong move. Chris would want me to let his dad in, right? Even with all their issues, I’ve only ever seen Christian act respectfully toward his dad. I should do the same. Removing the dead bolt and twisting the lock, I open the door.
“Mr. Price. Hi.” All six feet five inches of him looms over me. If not for the slight sallowness to his skin and dark bags under his eyes, he’d be the picture of intimidation. As it is, he just looks...tired. And maybe a little sad.
“May I come in?” he asks.
“Oh, of course.” I step back and allow him to enter. “Christian isn’t here right now, but he should be back soon.”
“Where did he run off to this morning?” Mr. Price’s gaze fixates on the bundle of blankets and snacks I’ve barricaded the couch with.
“He, um, took Axel to an abandoned parking lot.” When his head swivels toward me, I clarify. “He’s teaching him how to ride a motorcycle.” I can’t help but fidget under his intense gaze.
“I see,” he says, eyes drifting back to the mess I made. “It appears you’ve made yourself quite comfortable with my son.”
I swallow the quickly forming lump of fear in my throat. “He insists that I do.”
“Yes, well, he would.” His gaze locks on mine again. “Since I insisted he find a wife. Apparently, he felt you were the best candidate at the time.”
Sweat breaks out across my brow as my heart hammers with dread. Did Chris tell him the truth about our marriage?
“I don’t mean to be crass, Miss Dia, but my son is too noble for his own good. He will always set his own desires aside in order to do what’s right. And for whatever reason, he feels beholden to you. Even after I have expressed my displeasure at your union.”
Defensiveness churns inside me, begging me to give it a voice. But it won’t matter. I’m not good enough for Chris and never will be. Mr. Price knows it and so do I. What is there to defend?
“And even now,” he adds, taking a step toward me. “After I told him I destroyed the contract that prompted him to ask you to marry him in the first place.” Surprise must cross my face because he smiles pityingly. “Yes, I’m afraid he only proposed to gain control of the company. In light of that, maybe he’s not quite as noble as I originally thought.”
He thinks he’s taken me by surprise, but he’s wrong. I’m only shocked that Mr. Price destroyed the contract. How could Chris not tell me this?
Intense shame and guilt overwhelm me at the thought of using him for my benefit. He doesn’t even need my help anymore, yet he’s stayed married to me? Why?
“Do with that knowledge what you will,” Mr. Price says, turning back for the door. “But just know that I have encouraged him to be honest with you and begin the paperwork for an annulment. I do believe it would be the best thing for everyone.” Stunned in place, I don’t even attempt to follow him to the door. Mr. Price stops and stares at me a second longer. “Not to worry, my dear. This won’t affect your employment at the firm. So long as you keep quiet and don’t cause a stir.”
I almost scoff but think better of it. Of course it won’t affect my employment, not now that Freya told him she wants me working closely with Bon Loup’s fall campaign.
“Good day, Miss Dia.”
As soon as he closes the door, I jolt forward and lock it. Sliding down to the floor, I bury my face in my knees as the vehicle this marriage of convenience was riding on crashes and burns into ash.
My anxiety builds the longer I think about why Christian kept this from me. Of course he’s a good-hearted individual, but to stay married to me when it no longer benefits him? I can’t allow him to self-sabotage like that. I can’t shackle him to a life he didn’t choose, to a family he didn’t want. This marriage is no longer mutually beneficial. Only Axel and I are reaping the rewards.
I take my frustration out on the dirty pan that’s half-submerged in the sink, scrubbing it with all my might. I’ve just about got it shined to perfection when the front door opens and Chris steps through.
“Hey.” He smiles when he spots me in the kitchen. “I hope you don’t mind, but I dropped Axel off at the park. He saw some friends there and said he wanted to shoot some hoops before—” He quiets as soon as he notices my frown. “Is...something wrong?”
“Yes,” I blurt, dropping the clean pot back into the dirty water. There goes all that work.
“What’s wrong?” He rounds the bar separating us and stops in front of me.
Now that he’s here, staring at me with the kind of concern that makes my stomach clench with longing, I almost don’t have the strength to confront him. What will change when I do? Will he admit the truth? That he’s only with me because of the promises we made to each other during the most desperate times of our lives? That he’s only here to fulfill his obligation to me?
He’s not mine and never was. I can’t continue to hold him hostage for Axel’s sake.
I won’t.
Guilt once again overpowers me, forcing me to ask the question that will rip the cozy little life we’ve forged to shreds. “Why didn’t you tell me?”
His brows knit together as he cocks his head. “Tell you...what?”
I take a deep, bolstering inhale and power through. “Why didn’t you tell me that your dad ripped up the contract?”
Christian’s eyes fill with regret. “Because it doesn’t change anything.”
“Of course it changes things. You no longer need me, Chris. You get to keep the company and the inheritance your grandfather promised you. That’s all you ever wanted.”
His jaw feathers as his gaze lowers to the floor. “I made a promise to you. And I intend to keep it.”
I stiffen. I knew that’s what this would come down to. Infusing my voice with a hefty dose of bravado I’m far from feeling, I say, “Well, maybe I don’t want you to.”
His expression turns tortured as his gaze snaps to mine. “What?”
“You heard me.” My breaths come faster, closer together, and I realize that denying Chris the chance to save Axel and me will be the hardest thing I’ve ever had to do. “I don’t need you anymore.”
He begins to shake his head. “Don’t do this, Roxy. Don’t shut me out because you think it’s the right thing to do.”
“It is the right thing, Chris. You don’t deserve to have an irresponsible woman and her teenage nephew dragging you down during the best years of your life. You should be able to find love and a wife your dad will approve of and—”
“Stop it,” he says through gritted teeth. “Stop putting yourself down all the time.”
I clench my hands into fists, ready to go to battle on his behalf. “I won’t stop sticking up for your right to have the future you deserve.” He looks away, the muscles in his jaw still straining with his frustration. “There's no way you can convince me that a marriage of convenience is what you’ve always wanted. This situation is no longer serving you, and I can’t in good conscience let it continue.”
Christian glares at me for who knows how long until finally he moves.
With a speed I wasn’t prepared for, he advances, crowding me against the sink until my back and hips dig into its porcelain edge. His hands grip the counter on either side of me as his gaze pins me in place. “You have no idea what serves me, Roxy. No idea what’s going on in my head and heart every time I’m around you.” Our rapid breaths mingle together. “All this time, all these weeks we’ve been together...” He shakes his head, never once taking his eyes off me. “And you still can’t see that you are what I want.”
My heart nearly cracks open as my breath catches. “You... what ?”
Christian’s darkened gaze seems to touch every feature of my face. “I want you . More than anything I’ve ever allowed myself to want before. And it kills me to think that you don’t know it.”
“I...” Have I known it? I’ve wished for it. And even fantasized about being the object of his desire, the woman he chooses from this day forward. But I’ve never allowed myself to believe he could choose me.
“This was only meant to be temporary,” I say, trying to hold the flimsy pieces of my heart together.
Christian meets my gaze, his softening. “I won’t deny that. It was meant to be temporary. But then I got to know you, got to see the way you fight for yourself—for Axel. And for the past month and a half, I’ve had the privilege of getting to play the part of your husband. Except—” He huffs a breathy laugh. “It stopped being an act the second I held you in my arms.”
Tears begin to collect on my lower lashes, and as much as I try to force them away, they don’t budge.
“Roxy, you...” Leaning in, he drags his nose along my cheek, then my jaw. “You are not some woman I’m stuck with. You are the wife of my dreams . The one I want as a friend.” He places a gentle kiss to my cheek. “As a confidant.” Then to my temple. “And as a lover.” With slow deliberation, he presses his lips to my neck, making my entire body tremble. I melt into him as he continues to explore with his mouth, holding me steady with his hands on my hips. As his teeth lightly graze my skin, my mind jolts back to reality.
“Wait.” I’m breathless, barely able to find my voice. “Wait, Chris.” He pulls back, eyes hazy, and hums. “Are you saying that...you want to stay married?”
His lips lift in a lazy smile. “I’m saying that I, Christian Albra Price, take thee, Roxana Elizabeth Dia, to be my bride, in every sense of the word. As long as you want me to.”
My tears break free, trailing down my cheeks as a husky giggle erupts from my throat. Chris places kisses in the paths of my tears, soaking them up with each press of his lips.
My overjoyed heart can hardly believe this man wants me for his own. How long have I prayed for someone to love me? How long have I craved a real home of my own but never thought I deserved it? Pure, unbridled happiness wells within me, and I grip Christian’s shoulders.
Feeling brave, I ask, “What about being your masked biker alter ego’s backpack? Is that seat taken?”
He blinks, stunned. “You—how did you know?”
I fiddle with the hair at his nape, ready to come clean. “I followed you on social media for months before we got married, though I didn’t know you were him until you showed us your motorcycles.” Another laugh peels out of me. “But I was so surprised when I found out, and...so conflicted.” I bite my lower lip. “You see, I had a massive crush on that biker guy from the internet.” Chris’s teeth gleam in a smile that’s so warm, so perfect. “Might have even begged him to let me backpack on a couple of his videos.”
A deep rumble reverberates through his chest as he wraps his arms around my back and pulls me closer. “In case I wasn't clear before, I need you to be my bride and my backpack. Always and forever.”
My wide smile meets his in a clash of teeth as our desperate hearts cling to each other, uninhibited, for the first time. Christian’s mouth melds with mine, over and over, purposeful and deliberate. Slow and tantalizing. These kisses aren’t like the ones we’ve shared for show. They’re deep and needy and laced with all the longing that’s built between us since we first said our vows. Vows that mean so much more now.
I pull back as a sudden thought causes me to panic. “What about Axel?”
Chris exhales, brushing the hair away from my face. “What about him?”
“Do you think he’ll be okay with us making this real?”
Chris’s smile inches higher. “I think so. He asked me today when I was going to put a ring on it. For real.” I gape at him, amazed that Axel would approve of Chris so quickly. “I seriously think he’d be good with it, Roxy. He seems to tolerate me, at least.”
My heart swells all over again. “He more than tolerates you. Trust me.”
“And you?” Chris lightly trails his hand down my neck. “Do you more than tolerate me too?”
My hands tunnel through Christian’s thick hair as I draw him back to kiss me. He hungrily takes my mouth again, and I accidentally knock his glasses askew. “Sorry,” I murmur, easing back. He tosses them onto the counter, then spreads his large hands around my thighs and hauls me up until I’m teetering on the edge of the sink. Instinctively, I wrap my legs around his waist as he lowers his lips to my throat. His touch, his warm breath, send shivers skittering down my spine.
“I love you,” I breathe, unable to keep the words from spilling out.
Breathless, he leans back to stare into my eyes. “I love you, Roxy. So much more than I ever thought I was capable of loving someone.”
A new kind of satisfaction rolls through me at hearing those words. I tighten my legs around his waist and settle my arms on his shoulders. Chris’s fingers knead circles into my lower back.
“I need to know now if you have any doubts about us.” His voice is low and gritty. “Before we take this any further.”
A zing of desire pulses through me, but I stuff it down to consider what he’s saying. Do I want this—us? Forever?
“Once we cross this line,” Chris adds, “there’s no going back.” He pauses with a heavy exhale. “I’ve waited for this my whole life, Roxy, and you’re the only one I want to share it with.”
Shock ripples through me. Does he mean...? I open my mouth. Close it. Debate whether I should confess the truth. When his brow furrows and doubt clouds his features, I know I don’t have a choice.
“Chris, I...I’ve never experienced a healthy, committed relationship before. As much as I want to say yes, I don’t know if I’m capable of forever.”
Resting his forehead against mine, he murmurs, “I think you’re capable of so much more than you give yourself credit for.” After a firm kiss to my forehead, he leans back and meets my eyes again. “I’m not asking for a guarantee, Roxy. No one but God knows what the future holds. All I'm asking is if you want to make this marriage real. If you’re willing to give it a hundred percent, and I’m willing to give it a hundred percent, I fully believe God will bless and make up for where we lack.”
Chris’s faith in me, and in God, bring a fresh surge of tears to my eyes. “But Chris.” A mixture of dread and regret threaten to swallow me. Still, he should know the truth. “I haven’t waited like you have. I wasted so much time, so many things, on guys who weren’t worth it. I feel like damaged goods compared to you.”
I can’t hold his gaze with the weight of my past bearing down on me. Even now, in what should be a sweet, unforgettable moment with the man I want to call mine, I’m haunted by my mistakes.
Chris gently but firmly grips my chin and catches my eye. “Please don’t ever call yourself damaged goods again. You are my wife . And I don’t care about what happened before you knew me. All that matters is what we do going forward.” His lips meet mine in a slow and tender kiss. “But if you want to wait for whatever reason, we will. I’m not going anywhere. I’m here for you—for us. From now on, we do what’s best for our little family and throw everyone else’s expectations out the window.”
Our little family.
I swear my heart might burst. I nod, and he releases my chin. Just when I think he might pull back, his hands skim up my neck and twine into my hair. “But I need you to know that I’m ready. There’s not a doubt in my mind that we’re meant to be together. That we’ll be able to make this work.” With another slow, achingly deep kiss, he captures my heart a little more. “ Please make me yours, my beautiful, perfect wife.”
My chest aches. Make me yours.
“I-I don’t want you to regret this,” I whisper, letting my worst fears rise to the surface. There’s nothing I don’t want to give to this man but disappointing him is the last thing I want to do. “I couldn’t live with myself if I took this from you, then broke your heart years down the road.” My voice breaks at the thought.
Chris’s hand tightens in my hair as his steel-blue gaze bores into mine. “I could never regret loving you, Roxy. Even if everything we build together crumbles to dust in the end...I will never regret loving you.”
With his huskily-spoken words suspended between us, I allow him to scoop me up in his arms and carry me to his bed— our bed. Then, in the midst of our whispered declarations and languid exploration of true intimacy, I give myself over to someone, wholly and completely.
And for the first time in my life, I know I won’t regret it.