The Crash

Chapter 59

59

POLLY

I’m feeling a lot more optimistic by the time I get home from the pharmacy in the early afternoon, clutching a white paper bag containing fourteen tablets of cephalexin as well as the thirty syringes of enoxaparin. I’m hopeful this will do the trick. If it doesn’t, she may need IV antibiotics, and that is going to be a much bigger pain in the neck. I’m not sure what I’m going to do if that happens, but I’ll cross that bridge when we come to it.

When I arrive back at the house, I notice the front door is unlocked. I’m certain I locked it though. I remember doing it. I mean, it’s not like I would have left the front door unlocked, knowing that Tegan is in the basement. I’m a lot more careful than that.

So why is the door unlocked?

The only thing I can think of is that Hank came home early. But why would he do that?

I step into the house, my stomach churning slightly. I look around, and I don’t see anybody. The house is quiet. “Hank?” I call out.

Silence.

My heart speeds up in my chest. I take long strides in the direction of the basement door. My mouth falls open when I discover that the basement door is open.

No. No .

I tear down the steps to the basement. “Tegan?” I call out. But of course, there’s no answer. Because she’s not in the hospital bed anymore.

She’s gone.

“Tegan!” I scream.

For reasons I can’t quite explain, I run over to the hospital bed and rummage through the sheets, as if I might discover her hiding within them. I don’t. She’s not in the basement. She’s not here anymore.

I sprint back up the stairs, my heart thudding so hard it hurts. The police must’ve come in here while I was gone. They rescued her, and now they’re waiting to arrest me. That’s got to be what happened. There’s no other explanation. After all, Tegan wasn’t capable of leaving on her own accord.

I run past the basement door, preparing to run outside to my Bronco. I’ve got to get to the auto shop and tell Hank what happened. He’ll know what to do in this situation. He’s good like that. He always knows exactly what the right thing to do is.

Except when I get into the living room, Hank is standing there. He’s wearing his winter coat, and his hair is mussed from his hat. He must have just come in.

“Hank,” I say breathlessly. “I…I was just in the basement. Tegan is… She’s gone.”

I expect him to react with panic like what I’m feeling. After all, the police would arrest both of us, not just me. But instead, he just stands there rigidly. “I know.”

I squint at him. “You know?”

“I took her to the hospital.”

His words are a punch in the gut. I stare at him, unable to believe what I’m hearing. “How could you do that?”

“She was sick. She needed to go to the hospital.”

“But…” I wring my hands together. “I brought antibiotics for her. She would have been fine.”

“She needed to go to the hospital,” he repeats firmly.

I fell in love with Hank on our first date. He was a big guy, but he was so endearingly shy but also funny and thoughtful and ruggedly handsome, and I’d never had a man look at me that way before—like he thought I was the most wonderful human being he’d ever met. I knew on that first date—even before my mother said it—that he was the man I was going to marry someday. I never told him this, but as we were ordering dessert, I was already planning our lives together—a sweet little cottage with two children who were a perfect mix of him and me, and maybe a dog. I already loved him, even then.

Today is the first time in the twelve years since we met that I have hated him.

“How could you do that?” I scream at him. “Do you realize what you’ve done ?”

Hank shakes his head. “I had to, Polly.”

“She’s going to tell the police everything!” I yell at him. “We’re both going to go to jail.”

“I had to. I’m sorry.”

Tears prick at my eyes. How could he look at me that way? How could he not even care ? “That was our baby, you know. That was our only chance. That was my only chance to be a mother, and you…you ruined it! You ruined our lives!”

My mother said that someday, our family would be complete. But she was wrong . I wish instead of telling me what a good man Hank was, she’d told me to run far away and find someone with a lick of common sense.

Hank tries to put his arms around me, but I shove him away. He’s always been able to comfort me in the past, but not this time. I always felt like we were in this together, but I don’t feel that way anymore. We had a chance to be happy together, and he ruined it. He ruined everything .

“Polly,” he murmurs.

“Don’t.” I back away from him. “You need to stay away from me.”

“Look, I’m going to call Dr. Salinsky…”

“ I don’t need to see a shrink! ”

Hank freezes. He’s not used to me raising my voice that way. He stands there like a deer in the headlights. “Polly, can we please talk about this?”

“Talk?” I snort. “We didn’t talk before you decided to betray me. I just…I don’t want to talk to you anymore. I’m done talking.”

With those words, I turn around and hurry up the steps to the bedroom. I slam the door behind me, and then I lock it for good measure. I hear Hank’s heavy footsteps on the stairs, followed by a knock at the bedroom door. “Polly?”

I sink down onto the bed, my hands trembling. “Go away!”

“Come on. Let me in. Don’t do anything stupid.”

The most maddening thing is how calm he sounds. That’s my husband all over. He never gets worked up over anything. He didn’t even care that much that we couldn’t have children together. No wonder he found it so easy to bring Tegan to the hospital and give up our last chance for a baby.

“I want to be alone!” I say.

“Polly…”

“I said go away!”

But I don’t hear his footsteps leaving. And the shadow of his body lingers under the door. “Polly, I’m really worried about you. Will you please let me in?”

He’s scared I’m going to kill myself. It’s a little too late for that. He should have considered that before he drove Tegan to the hospital. He feels obligated to make sure I’m okay, although in reality, he would be better off if I killed myself. He knows it, even if he doesn’t want to admit it. Through all our fertility treatments, all the doctors said that Hank’s sperm count was perfect. The problem was with me .

Of course, it’s too late now. After what I’ve done, we’re both screwed. The police will be knocking on our door any minute now, as soon as Tegan is well enough to tell them the entire story.

“I’m fine.” I force my voice to stay at a normal volume. “Really. I just don’t want to talk right now. Okay?” When he doesn’t say anything, I add, “I swear I’m okay. I just want to be alone.”

“I need you to open the door, Polly.”

“I told you, I’m fine.”

“If you don’t open the door, I’m calling 911. I bought a new phone.”

He absolutely means it. If he thinks I’m a danger to myself, he’s going to call for an ambulance and possibly have me hauled away. And if he does that, I won’t be able to do what I need to do.

Finally, I unlock the bedroom door and pull it open. Hank is standing there, still in his coat, wringing his hands together.

“See?” I say. “I told you, I’m fine.”

He inspects me head to toe. He scrunches his face up like he’s not entirely sure he believes me. “You said if I took Tegan to the hospital, you would…”

I wave a hand. “I was just being dramatic.”

He raises an eyebrow.

“Really, Hank.” I fight to keep my voice from shaking. “I’m fine. You can go back to work.”

“No,” he says. “I’m not leaving you.”

Why is he being so stubborn? We can’t afford to keep the shop closed for even a day, and he knows it.

I stand my ground, blocking his way into the bedroom. “You can’t come in the bedroom.”

“Fine,” he says. “I’ll be downstairs. I won’t call 911, but I’m going to call Dr. Salinsky. And…and maybe a lawyer.”

“That’s fine. Go ahead.”

He frowns, lingering at the doorway. “I love you, Polly.”

Is that even true anymore? He used to love me. Before I lost my mind. Ever since then, he hasn’t looked at me the same way. He doesn’t look at me like I’m the most wonderful human being he’s ever met, that’s for sure. We stay together out of habit now. It was up to me to make our family complete, and I failed miserably.

“I love you too,” I say, because he won’t leave ’til I say it.

Hank decides to trust me. His footsteps disappear down the hallway. He’s afraid to leave me alone for the moment, but he can’t stay here forever. Eventually, he’s going to leave this house. And that’s what I’m waiting for.

I promised him I would make this right. And I’m going to deliver.